Chapter 7: Ghost from the Past

Rachel's eyes were struck with shock. Her mouth gaped open a bit. The only expression of shock Ross couldn't see was the rapid beat of Rachel's heart. She began to tremble, and Ross could see her knees shaking. She started to fall, but Ross caught her and held her up. Rachel was almost surprised that she didn't fall right through him.

Ross helped Rachel over to the couch, closing the apartment door behind him. Rachel couldn't take her eyes off of him.

"Is it really you?" she asked.

"It's me," he whispered.

"You're alive?!"

"Yeah . . . I'm alive. Monica is too."

"Oh my God," Rachel whispered as she placed her hand over her mouth. Tears began to stream down her face. "You're alive! Are you sure it's really you?" Ross took Rachel's hands in his.

"It's really me," he replied, looking deep into her eyes. Rachel's hands roamed up to touch his face.

"I thought you had died. Oh my God. I can't believe you're here. Oh my God."

"I never gave up. Monica wouldn't let me. I almost gave up looking for you, but I got my act together."

"How did you know where to find me?!"

"My parents are out of town. Monica got a package in the mail today that was from you."

"So you know about the baby?" Rachel asked. Ross nodded sheepishly. Rachel was still trembling.

"I can't believe it's really you. Am I dreaming?"

"Rachel, you aren't dreaming. It's really me. I'm real. You're real. We're here together at last."

"I can't believe you're alive! He shot you!"

"I recovered. Monica recovered too. We both fought for you . . . but you weren't there when we woke up."

"I'm so sorry," Rachel sobbed. "I had to run. I couldn't let Todd get me. If I had known you were alive, my God, I would have stayed, Ross. I'm so sorry I ran."

"No. Don't be sorry. What you did was a good thing. You protected yourself and our baby. Our baby, right?"

"Yeah. He's your son."

"I have to see him, Rach. Can I see him?"

"Of course you can," she said with a smile. "You have no idea how many nights I dreamed about you. I didn't realize just how much I loved you until I thought you were gone. I love you so much, Ross. I love you so, so much."

"I love you too, Rachel." Ross pulled Rachel close and they held each other for the longest time. When the pulled apart, Rachel stood and took Ross' hand. She led him down the hall of the apartment and into a nicely decorated nursery. It was painted blue with white trim. There were stuffed animals, diapers, bottles, and clothes all over the room. A crib in the corner had sunlight drifting over it. Rachel slowly walked over and peered into the crib. She motioned Ross over. Ross stepped over beside his son's crib and looked down at him for the first time.

"Ryan, your daddy is here," Rachel whispered. She picked her sleeping son up out of the crib and put him in Ross' arms. Ross was apprehensive at first, but his son soon snuggled against his chest, and Ross started rocking him back and forth.

"Hey buddy," he said quietly. "I'm . . . I'm your daddy. I can't believe I have a son. I just met you, but I already love you so much." He looked up at Rachel. "How old is he?"

"Two weeks old today."

"Wow," Ross whispered. "Two weeks. Um . . . he's so amazing."

"He is, isn't he?" She watched her son and his father together for the first time. It was a miracle to her. She never thought she would see the day. She never thought that her son would get to have his true father. But Ross was here now. He was here holding his son in his arms.

"I have to talk to Monica. Is she at your parents' house?"

"Yeah," Ross replied. "Go ahead and call her. I'll stay in here with the baby." Ross sat down in the rocking chair while Rachel went into the living room to use the phone. She picked up the phone and dialed the numbers for Ross and Rachel's parents' house.

The phone rang twice before she heard a familiar voice.

"Geller residence."

"Chandler?" Rachel asked. There was a short pause.

"Rachel?" he asked. Rachel heard Monica's voice in the background.

"Oh my God! Is that Rachel?! I have to talk to her!" Rachel could hear a struggle with the phone and then Monica's voice. "Rach!"

"Mon!"

"Oh my God! It's you!"

"And it's you!" Rachel sobbed.

"When did Ross get there?"

"Just a few minutes ago."

"Oh God, I can't believe I'm talking to you again."

"I never thought I'd hear your voice again," Rachel whispered. "I am so overwhelmed. You have no idea how good it feels to talk to the two best friends you've ever had. Ross is so wonderful. God . . . I love him so much."

"I know. He loves you too. He never gave up on you."

"He told me," Rachel replied.

"Has he seen the baby yet?"

"He's with him now."

"I'm so happy for you. Are you coming back to New York?"

"I . . . I don't know. I don't think so. I can't come back to New York . . ."

"What?" Ross asked quickly as he walked into the living room. He was carrying the baby. "You're not coming back? What about college?"

"Um, Monica, I'll talk to you soon. I love you."

"I love you." Rachel hung up.

"Ross," she began, "I dropped out of college when I found out I was pregnant with Ryan. I never actually attended a class when I got out here. I registered, but never went through."

"Rachel, you have to finish college."

"I don't have to do anything, Ross. Isn't it enough that we've been reunited? I just want to be a good mother to our son. Is that too much to ask? I've got enough money for the rest of my life. The money I have from my father since I was born will tide me and the baby over for a long time."

"Rachel, what about us?"

"What?"

"I want to be with you. Why do you think I've been looking for you all this time? I love you so much. I want to be a family with you and our son."

"I want that too, Ross, but this is all happening so fast."

"What?"

"I didn't mean that like it sounded. Look, of course I want to be with you. But you can't expect me to move back to New York. I can't go back to that place."

"Rachel, I have college too, but I took a break because I had to find you. My professors made an arrangement with me, and I'm damned lucky they did. I'm working in a museum over there. All the money I've made has gone into finding you." He put the sleeping baby down in a bassinet. "Rachel, I swear I'd move out here to be with you in a heartbeat if I could, but I can't."

"And I can't go back there."

"Todd's not going to hurt you."

"He's still out there, isn't he?"

"Yeah. He's still out there, but he's probably halfway across the world. Hell, he could be dead for all we know."

"I don't care. That place has too many bad memories for me."

"Look, let's not talk about this right now, okay? We just found each other again. We can't fight. I love you so much, Rachel. I just want you to know that."

"I do know, Ross. God, I know. I've always known." They held each other for a few more moments. "You know, some people don't get second chances. We have gotten a second chance. Thank you for finding me. Thank you for not giving up hope."

"Before I found you, I let myself go after you left. I drank myself to sleep on the nights I could sleep. I had nightmares. I was not a good person. But I know that you're who I'm meant to be with. We've been brought back together, and we should be together. It's still amazing to be holding you right now."

"I know. I'm never letting you go again. I'll never walk away. I'll never walk away without knowing what I'm doing. I don't want to be without you, Ross. It's been so hard to be without you. I couldn't have gone on much longer."

"Yes you could have. You're so strong, Rachel."

"I'm not as strong as you think. I'm a better person when I'm with you. I feel like something had breathed new life into me. Just as long as you are here, that's all that matters."

"Rachel, I can't be without you. I can't lose you again. It'll kill me for sure."

"I know," Rachel whispered. "I know, baby. We're soul mates. We're going to be together." Rachel wrapped her arms around Ross tightly and he held her, rubbing her back, as she began to cry.

"It's going to be okay, Rach. We've finally found each other. That's what counts."