(A/N: I don't own anything that Nintendo owns. That could include Wooster because I don't know who owns that character; he's just the guy who was in the Nintendo Adventure Books. Dr. Shroom is my own creation (You can imagine me dancing around joyfully because I've made up a random character with a generic name).
Also, just about every character in this chapter and the next are OOC. Bear with me here, it is integral to the storyline.)
Peach ran up the stairs going up the Castle's west tower. She didn't know where to turn for Toad's condition so she went to find Wooster, her chief Mushroom Assistant. He was located at the very top of the west tower.
"Wooster," Peach yelled, "I need your help."
"What's wrong?" asked Wooster.
"Toad fell out of a window and now he's speaking funny," said Peach.
"Oh gee, really" Wooster said in a confused voice, "Um, let me see what I can do."
Peach let Wooster out of the rusty cage she held him in. Meanwhile Mario, Luigi and Yoshi tried to get Toad to say something normal.
"Thank you Mario but our princess is in another castle," Toad said for the hundredth time.
"Why Toad keep talking like that?" asked Yoshi.
"Well we know that it has something to do with Toad hitting his huge head or whatever onto the ground," hypothesized Luigi, "But what we need to figure out is why the heck Toad is saying that same phrase over and over again."
"It's probably an offshoot of your terrible, vomit-inducing food," said Mario.
"Yes that could be a possibility but it could also wha-wha-WHAT!" screeched Luigi, finally catching on. "Terrible? Vomit-inducing? What exactly do you mean?"
Mario gave Luigi a blank stare. "I mean your food is terrible and vomit-inducing," he said, "I mean let's be real, you suck as a cook. I mean you put together the dumbest combinations of food together, like you're desperate for someone to blow chunks."
Luigi's eyes bugged out. "I'm not trying to make anyone blow chunks!" he shouted.
"Then why are you mixing food and eyeballs and carpet lint together you freak?"
"I do it because I'm a master chef," said Luigi.
"Here we go again," said Mario, rolling his eyes.
"Unlike like joe average chef, master chefs must constantly break barriers that have long been placed on the food kingdom. We, as artists, must..."
"Shut up!" shouted Mario, "Just because you bought that cookbook in the Beanbean Kingdom, doesn't make you a master chef."
"Yeah well just because you went to a technical school for one year, failed, and bought a wrench a week later doesn't make a plumber," retorted Luigi.
Mario started grumbling to himself. Meanwhile, Peach and Wooster were running around the castle and heading towards the group that has formed around Toad. "Okay, what seems to be the problem again," asked Wooster.
"Toad fell out of the window and hit his head," said Mario, still angry, "now he just repeats the same stupid phrase over and over again."
"Okay, I'm going to try something." Wooster put two fingers in front of Toad's face. "How many fingers am I holding up?"
"Two," answered Luigi.
"He was asking Toad!" snapped Peach.
"Oh," said Luigi.
"Toad, how many fingers?" Wooster asked again.
"Thank you Mario but our princess is in another castle," said Toad.
"Yep, he's gone," said Wooster.
"Yeah...but can't you help him?" asked Peach
"No," said Wooster, "But you know what? Going to a hospital would be a great idea!"
"A hospital?" wondered Peach, "Hm, I don't know, tell me more about this 'hospital' mechanism."
"Well there is a ton of things you can do there!" said Wooster, "Doctors work around the clock to keep adults and children as healthy as possible. If you're sick you can get better with medicine and hospital food. And sometimes you can make reservations to see how well you are."
"A hospital, of course!" shouted Mario.
"Yes, I agree," said Peach, "This 'hospital' sounds interesting and I would like some pamphlets on it."
"I don't really have any pamphlets," said Wooster, "but my advice is to get Toad to the hospital as soon as possible."
"Good idea," said Luigi, "you know if you keep this up Wooster, Peach may let you out the cruel confines she imprisons you in everyday."
"You think so?" said Wooster.
Peach turned towards Wooster. "Yes, in fact if Toad does not pull through, you will be my new Mushroom Retainer," she said. This means you get to help me run the entire Mushroom Kingdom! Doesn't that sound exciting?"
Wooster made a weak, inaudible noise. Mario noticed Wooster's pants. "It seems that someone has wet themselves," said Mario. Wooster made a high- pitched yelp and ran away. "That's sad to be wetting yourself at that age," said Mario.
"Man, you're older than him and you wet your pants every week!" Luigi pointed out.
"Yes!" shouted Mario, "but I'm not doing it now so shut up Luigi!"