CHAPTER ONE: LILY'S SUMMER
Lily Evans sat in her room, surrounded by parchment. All of it was covered with a strong, rather sloppy hand. The dates on them spanned from the early days of June to the middle of August, to that very day.
Occasionally, Lily would burst into laughter, or sit with a frown on her face. Many of the letters were simply parables of the happenings of summer, others blatantly honest speeches, others little jokes and quips about school, and still others were thoughts and worries.
It seems James Potter enjoyed sending Lily letters.
HPLJHPLJHPLJHPLJHPLJHPLJHPLJHPLJHPLJHPLJHPLJHPLJHPLJHPLJHPLJHP
"Dearest Lily,
'
When will you send your letter? It's disheartening, never hearing from you—the time drags when I don't have you to bother! Even Sirius hasn't fully occupied my time. It seems he has a new obsession: plots to destroy the Dark Lord. Not that I blame him, some days I want nothing more than to destroy the filthy creature that took so many lives, that completely demolished the world we knew, that took away the wizarding worlds confidence and security-
I'm sorry, Lily. I want my letters to be cheerful and heartening for you, and they end up full of begging, sulking, angst, my undefeatably git-like nature...anything you would find inexcusable. We hear enough of politics these days, besides; it's all the Daily Prophet covers. Or, do you get the Daily Prophet? I don't know the muggle ways of things.
Well, I must go amuse Padfoot. Once again, Lily, PLEASE answer soon. I am counting the hours until I can hear from you!
Very sincerely,
'
James
P.S. What's a vellytision?
Lily smiled at the letter, looking up at the ceiling. She had to admit; having James' letters arriving almost constantly was a good way to keep from being bored. It was as if she always had someone to talk to, even though the con to this was Petunia's incessant spying on her to see if she could snitch one of the letters.
Lily cast about in the papers, glancing over the pointless ones. She was looking for material to write about in her own letter. She had put it off too long already, and every day James' were more desperate and hopeless sounding.
She finally saw one, rather longer than the others, and messier, as if it had been scrawled quickly.
"Dearest, Dearest Lily,
'
You still haven't sent your letter! If you don't hurry, I will have to pay a visit! I'm absolutely certain you wouldn't appreciate that.
Also, I'm sure you don't like reading about things like this (from past experiences), but a few things have bothered me all summer. It's only now that I have the courage to ask you about them.
Firstly, why did you punch Bellatrix Black? I ran out to find you before Remus explained, I'm ashamed to say, but after Prof. McGonogal came in worried I lost my head. I don't know if your mates know about it, but I want, I NEED to know what happened. You would never hurt a person intentionally, unless you were severely provoked. Or, of course, unless it was me.
No matter how much you'd like to deny it, I have gotten to know you very well Lily Evans, simply by chasing after you for my entire Hogwarts career. By knowing you in that small way, I realized that there were a hundred thousand things I DIDN'T know.
I know you have a good arm, a fiery temper, and don't take confrontations well. I know that you are the smartest girl in our year, you are an excellent witch, you are talented, you're insightful, and frankly, you are beautiful, but I do not know anything about YOU; you know, the girl who would laugh with me over something stupid like wiggling ears. Every time I get close to you in that aspect, you end up slapping me or running away.
I need to know why you run from me, besides the many faults I know you could name, and you probably are at this moment. Am I so hated by you that I am not even human anymore? Why are you afraid of getting close to me? I have been trying to get close to you for a quarter of my LIFE, Lily Evans. I may follow after you too closely, but you, dearest, are more stubborn than a mule.
I am very curious about THIS: have you ever paid attention to the good in me? I know that you like SOME things about me, I'm sure of it. I make you laugh, I AM faithful to you despite my mauled facial features, I hate the dark arts along with you, I even let go of my pride and changed for you!
Great. Now I sound like I am inflating my head again. No need to worry, though; you squashed it flat a few months ago. You know what? You are all I think about these days. The ONLY thing I think about. It drives me mad; you are the only one I feel I can talk to now, with these letters I constantly send you. My father used to be like that for me, and now I have YOU Lily. I don't know whether you are more of a replacement for him or something different entirely. I've told you things in these letters I wouldn't have told anyone else, and yet you have this maddening cocoon of silence around you. It's like I am sending letters to the air, and there is not even a breeze in a response.
I must sound insane. Maybe I am. Lily, I now realize that I have become older than anyone, even myself, would have thought possible. I have- changed. Maybe you'll take that into consideration someday, when this insanity has left me and I can see you clearly, finally.
With all the sanity I can muster,
'
James"
Lily sat in silence for several moments, recalling her reaction upon receiving it a week ago. It had been the most honest Potter had ever been, EVER. Even when he talked to her the last day of semester he hadn't been quite that open. Lily hadn't been sure what to make of it. Her, the confidant of James Potter? It was quite a burden, but one she seemed to accustom herself to quickly. Now, a week later, she almost felt . . . Pity for Potter. She was starting to understand why he acted the way he did . . .
Soon enough Lily was scribbling on a parchment, her face rather tired- looking but set.
LJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJ
An hour later, a knock came at Lily's door, and Amaryllis Evans walked in quietly. She saw the letters spread out over her daughter's bed, and Lily herself absorbed in writing. She glanced down at them, reading, "I must sound insane. Maybe I am. Lily, I now realized I have become older . . .P.S. What's a vellytision." Lily glanced up, and saw her mother reading the letters. She jumped up and gathered them, quickly tapping them on her desk and shoving them in a drawer.
"Mother, that is an invasion of privacy!" said Lily, blushing slightly. "Really, don't walk in like that!"
"Sorry dear, but it's time for tea. I've called you twice already, but you weren't responding. Obviously, there were things of more interest for you." She smiled at her daughter, who blushed an even deeper shade of pink. "Who is this . . .James?"
"Mum!"
"I'm just curious, dear. I don't want you getting involved with any of the wrong people, and if you DID like a boy you could just tell me-"
"Mother, I do not l-LIKE him!!"
Amaryllis merely smiled and sat on the cleared bed.
"You know, it has been a while since I have talked to you, especially about boys. The last time I remember doing that was when Petunia started mentioning that Dursley boy." She laughed at Lily's face. "Lily, dear, show some more consideration for your sister's feelings. Really, what is wrong with Vernon? He is perfectly acceptable."
"But that's it! All he has going for him, besides that, is a large amount of fat!"
"Ah. I see. You find this James to be much more . . .'acceptable.'"
"NO! That's not what I meant!"
"Tell me what he looks like, darling." Lily let out a breath of frustrated air, and sat down in front of her mother.
"Fine. Even if it is a painful process-"
"You don't have to defend yourself, dear."
"Right." She sighed again. "Well, he has horrendously messy black hair, and he has the annoying habit of messing it up to look like he just got off his broom after Quidditch practice-"Mrs. Evans raised her eyebrows. "-You know, the magical sport."
"Ah."
"And he is slightly above average height, with brown eyes."
"And.?"
"And what."
"Is he handsome?"
Lily hesitated, biting her lip, and said, "Yes." Amaryllis smiled.
"What is he like?"
"Mother, do I really have to do this?"
"Yes, or I will ground you." Lily rolled her eyes, but didn't speak up.
"Well, how are his grades?"
"Good."
"As good as yours?"
"Not quite."
"Is he very intellectual, then?"
"No! He's quite the joker."
"Well what are his friends like?"
"The same, except that Sirius is even worse than he is, Remus is much more subdued, and Peter, well, I don't know about Peter. He is the odd one out, really."
"Why is he writing you?" said Mrs. Evans quickly. Lily glanced up, but looked down at the floor again.
"He likes to?" Lily's mother laughed.
"I think it's more likely he likes YOU. It looked like you yourself were enjoying writing a letter!" Lily went red.
"Oh, no need to be embarrassed. I remember what it was like for me, when I first met your father. He was quite annoying, actually! Always following me around with flowers and chocolates . . .those were the good old days . . ." She shook her head, and continued on. "It would be nice to have a few men in the house again. Everything has been so calm; a prankster would be refreshing. I have to admit; Vernon isn't the greatest converser!"
Lily laughed quietly. "Well, James certainly can talk. Maybe he talks to me so much because-"she stopped suddenly.
"What is it?"
Lily opened her mouth to speak, but Petunia barged in.
"Lily, tea is getting cold because of you-oh! Mother, what are you doing in here?"
"Just talking with your sister for a moment. But you're right, Petunia, we do need to have our tea. No use in wasting it. Could you just give us a minute, love?"
Petunia glanced at Lily distastefully, and nodded. She walked out of the room, glancing back several times as she went downstairs. Mrs. Evans settled herself again.
"Well, what were you saying Lily?"
"I-well . . ."
Amaryllis waited patiently.
"He, well, he lost-he lost his father this past year."
Lily sat watching her mother's face. Her eyes had gone watery; she cried at the slightest things, it seemed.
"Because of . . .because of troubles in the wizarding world. And I can . . .understand that."
"Oh, the poor dear."
"No, don't say that, mother."
"I shouldn't, but-"
"Mum, he's talked about it, and I think he's-just, don't say you pity him, please."
She nodded and stood up, and Lily got up also, still a little pink.
"Now Lily, if you want to keep writing, I can bring your tea up here."
"No, I'll come down."
"Alright then, dear." She dabbed at her eyes a moment. "Unfortunately, now that you have told me this, I will have to meet him!"
"Mum!"
"Maybe once we go to that one place-what's it called? Diagon Alley. Yes, write him and tell him I want to meet him . . ."
HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP
The next morning, Lily awoke to a hot August morning, and an owl tapping at her window. She slid the window opened and let the bird in, as it dropped a thick and formal letter on the wooden floor. She picked it up and looked at it; it was the yearly Hogwarts letter, but it seemed unusually thick and heavy. She slit it open, and pulled out several papers, 2 the usual, but another set inscribed with:
"We are pleased to announce that Lily Evans has been chosen for the position of Head Girl at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Professor Dumbledore has chosen you on account of your merit as a student and leading role as a member of the wizarding society, and responsibility to your fellow peers. Enclosed is a list of duties and responsibilities requested of you during your seventh year at Hogwarts. . ."
Lily sat down and clutched at her heart, shocked.
"I am Head Girl!!!!!" She glanced back down at the letter, going over the remainder of the letter, and groaned when she came to her "responsibilities." They ranged from helping the first years out, to giving out passwords, to giving out detentions. All-in-all, it was quite a list of chores. Lily sighed: obviously, this year was going to be quite a way to end her time at Hogwarts. She got up then, racing down the stairs and calling for Petunia and her mother . . .
HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP
Lily Evans sat in her room, surrounded by parchment. All of it was covered with a strong, rather sloppy hand. The dates on them spanned from the early days of June to the middle of August, to that very day.
Occasionally, Lily would burst into laughter, or sit with a frown on her face. Many of the letters were simply parables of the happenings of summer, others blatantly honest speeches, others little jokes and quips about school, and still others were thoughts and worries.
It seems James Potter enjoyed sending Lily letters.
HPLJHPLJHPLJHPLJHPLJHPLJHPLJHPLJHPLJHPLJHPLJHPLJHPLJHPLJHPLJHP
"Dearest Lily,
'
When will you send your letter? It's disheartening, never hearing from you—the time drags when I don't have you to bother! Even Sirius hasn't fully occupied my time. It seems he has a new obsession: plots to destroy the Dark Lord. Not that I blame him, some days I want nothing more than to destroy the filthy creature that took so many lives, that completely demolished the world we knew, that took away the wizarding worlds confidence and security-
I'm sorry, Lily. I want my letters to be cheerful and heartening for you, and they end up full of begging, sulking, angst, my undefeatably git-like nature...anything you would find inexcusable. We hear enough of politics these days, besides; it's all the Daily Prophet covers. Or, do you get the Daily Prophet? I don't know the muggle ways of things.
Well, I must go amuse Padfoot. Once again, Lily, PLEASE answer soon. I am counting the hours until I can hear from you!
Very sincerely,
'
James
P.S. What's a vellytision?
Lily smiled at the letter, looking up at the ceiling. She had to admit; having James' letters arriving almost constantly was a good way to keep from being bored. It was as if she always had someone to talk to, even though the con to this was Petunia's incessant spying on her to see if she could snitch one of the letters.
Lily cast about in the papers, glancing over the pointless ones. She was looking for material to write about in her own letter. She had put it off too long already, and every day James' were more desperate and hopeless sounding.
She finally saw one, rather longer than the others, and messier, as if it had been scrawled quickly.
"Dearest, Dearest Lily,
'
You still haven't sent your letter! If you don't hurry, I will have to pay a visit! I'm absolutely certain you wouldn't appreciate that.
Also, I'm sure you don't like reading about things like this (from past experiences), but a few things have bothered me all summer. It's only now that I have the courage to ask you about them.
Firstly, why did you punch Bellatrix Black? I ran out to find you before Remus explained, I'm ashamed to say, but after Prof. McGonogal came in worried I lost my head. I don't know if your mates know about it, but I want, I NEED to know what happened. You would never hurt a person intentionally, unless you were severely provoked. Or, of course, unless it was me.
No matter how much you'd like to deny it, I have gotten to know you very well Lily Evans, simply by chasing after you for my entire Hogwarts career. By knowing you in that small way, I realized that there were a hundred thousand things I DIDN'T know.
I know you have a good arm, a fiery temper, and don't take confrontations well. I know that you are the smartest girl in our year, you are an excellent witch, you are talented, you're insightful, and frankly, you are beautiful, but I do not know anything about YOU; you know, the girl who would laugh with me over something stupid like wiggling ears. Every time I get close to you in that aspect, you end up slapping me or running away.
I need to know why you run from me, besides the many faults I know you could name, and you probably are at this moment. Am I so hated by you that I am not even human anymore? Why are you afraid of getting close to me? I have been trying to get close to you for a quarter of my LIFE, Lily Evans. I may follow after you too closely, but you, dearest, are more stubborn than a mule.
I am very curious about THIS: have you ever paid attention to the good in me? I know that you like SOME things about me, I'm sure of it. I make you laugh, I AM faithful to you despite my mauled facial features, I hate the dark arts along with you, I even let go of my pride and changed for you!
Great. Now I sound like I am inflating my head again. No need to worry, though; you squashed it flat a few months ago. You know what? You are all I think about these days. The ONLY thing I think about. It drives me mad; you are the only one I feel I can talk to now, with these letters I constantly send you. My father used to be like that for me, and now I have YOU Lily. I don't know whether you are more of a replacement for him or something different entirely. I've told you things in these letters I wouldn't have told anyone else, and yet you have this maddening cocoon of silence around you. It's like I am sending letters to the air, and there is not even a breeze in a response.
I must sound insane. Maybe I am. Lily, I now realize that I have become older than anyone, even myself, would have thought possible. I have- changed. Maybe you'll take that into consideration someday, when this insanity has left me and I can see you clearly, finally.
With all the sanity I can muster,
'
James"
Lily sat in silence for several moments, recalling her reaction upon receiving it a week ago. It had been the most honest Potter had ever been, EVER. Even when he talked to her the last day of semester he hadn't been quite that open. Lily hadn't been sure what to make of it. Her, the confidant of James Potter? It was quite a burden, but one she seemed to accustom herself to quickly. Now, a week later, she almost felt . . . Pity for Potter. She was starting to understand why he acted the way he did . . .
Soon enough Lily was scribbling on a parchment, her face rather tired- looking but set.
LJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJLJ
An hour later, a knock came at Lily's door, and Amaryllis Evans walked in quietly. She saw the letters spread out over her daughter's bed, and Lily herself absorbed in writing. She glanced down at them, reading, "I must sound insane. Maybe I am. Lily, I now realized I have become older . . .P.S. What's a vellytision." Lily glanced up, and saw her mother reading the letters. She jumped up and gathered them, quickly tapping them on her desk and shoving them in a drawer.
"Mother, that is an invasion of privacy!" said Lily, blushing slightly. "Really, don't walk in like that!"
"Sorry dear, but it's time for tea. I've called you twice already, but you weren't responding. Obviously, there were things of more interest for you." She smiled at her daughter, who blushed an even deeper shade of pink. "Who is this . . .James?"
"Mum!"
"I'm just curious, dear. I don't want you getting involved with any of the wrong people, and if you DID like a boy you could just tell me-"
"Mother, I do not l-LIKE him!!"
Amaryllis merely smiled and sat on the cleared bed.
"You know, it has been a while since I have talked to you, especially about boys. The last time I remember doing that was when Petunia started mentioning that Dursley boy." She laughed at Lily's face. "Lily, dear, show some more consideration for your sister's feelings. Really, what is wrong with Vernon? He is perfectly acceptable."
"But that's it! All he has going for him, besides that, is a large amount of fat!"
"Ah. I see. You find this James to be much more . . .'acceptable.'"
"NO! That's not what I meant!"
"Tell me what he looks like, darling." Lily let out a breath of frustrated air, and sat down in front of her mother.
"Fine. Even if it is a painful process-"
"You don't have to defend yourself, dear."
"Right." She sighed again. "Well, he has horrendously messy black hair, and he has the annoying habit of messing it up to look like he just got off his broom after Quidditch practice-"Mrs. Evans raised her eyebrows. "-You know, the magical sport."
"Ah."
"And he is slightly above average height, with brown eyes."
"And.?"
"And what."
"Is he handsome?"
Lily hesitated, biting her lip, and said, "Yes." Amaryllis smiled.
"What is he like?"
"Mother, do I really have to do this?"
"Yes, or I will ground you." Lily rolled her eyes, but didn't speak up.
"Well, how are his grades?"
"Good."
"As good as yours?"
"Not quite."
"Is he very intellectual, then?"
"No! He's quite the joker."
"Well what are his friends like?"
"The same, except that Sirius is even worse than he is, Remus is much more subdued, and Peter, well, I don't know about Peter. He is the odd one out, really."
"Why is he writing you?" said Mrs. Evans quickly. Lily glanced up, but looked down at the floor again.
"He likes to?" Lily's mother laughed.
"I think it's more likely he likes YOU. It looked like you yourself were enjoying writing a letter!" Lily went red.
"Oh, no need to be embarrassed. I remember what it was like for me, when I first met your father. He was quite annoying, actually! Always following me around with flowers and chocolates . . .those were the good old days . . ." She shook her head, and continued on. "It would be nice to have a few men in the house again. Everything has been so calm; a prankster would be refreshing. I have to admit; Vernon isn't the greatest converser!"
Lily laughed quietly. "Well, James certainly can talk. Maybe he talks to me so much because-"she stopped suddenly.
"What is it?"
Lily opened her mouth to speak, but Petunia barged in.
"Lily, tea is getting cold because of you-oh! Mother, what are you doing in here?"
"Just talking with your sister for a moment. But you're right, Petunia, we do need to have our tea. No use in wasting it. Could you just give us a minute, love?"
Petunia glanced at Lily distastefully, and nodded. She walked out of the room, glancing back several times as she went downstairs. Mrs. Evans settled herself again.
"Well, what were you saying Lily?"
"I-well . . ."
Amaryllis waited patiently.
"He, well, he lost-he lost his father this past year."
Lily sat watching her mother's face. Her eyes had gone watery; she cried at the slightest things, it seemed.
"Because of . . .because of troubles in the wizarding world. And I can . . .understand that."
"Oh, the poor dear."
"No, don't say that, mother."
"I shouldn't, but-"
"Mum, he's talked about it, and I think he's-just, don't say you pity him, please."
She nodded and stood up, and Lily got up also, still a little pink.
"Now Lily, if you want to keep writing, I can bring your tea up here."
"No, I'll come down."
"Alright then, dear." She dabbed at her eyes a moment. "Unfortunately, now that you have told me this, I will have to meet him!"
"Mum!"
"Maybe once we go to that one place-what's it called? Diagon Alley. Yes, write him and tell him I want to meet him . . ."
HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP
The next morning, Lily awoke to a hot August morning, and an owl tapping at her window. She slid the window opened and let the bird in, as it dropped a thick and formal letter on the wooden floor. She picked it up and looked at it; it was the yearly Hogwarts letter, but it seemed unusually thick and heavy. She slit it open, and pulled out several papers, 2 the usual, but another set inscribed with:
"We are pleased to announce that Lily Evans has been chosen for the position of Head Girl at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Professor Dumbledore has chosen you on account of your merit as a student and leading role as a member of the wizarding society, and responsibility to your fellow peers. Enclosed is a list of duties and responsibilities requested of you during your seventh year at Hogwarts. . ."
Lily sat down and clutched at her heart, shocked.
"I am Head Girl!!!!!" She glanced back down at the letter, going over the remainder of the letter, and groaned when she came to her "responsibilities." They ranged from helping the first years out, to giving out passwords, to giving out detentions. All-in-all, it was quite a list of chores. Lily sighed: obviously, this year was going to be quite a way to end her time at Hogwarts. She got up then, racing down the stairs and calling for Petunia and her mother . . .
HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP