Chapter Nine – Jesse's Secret
He had only wanted to talk to his father. He explained to us that he had gone to Lee's instead of to school, headed to his room without dinner, then called for Brandon about two hours later. He didn't want me anywhere near.
I'll admit I was hurt. What was so upsetting to Jesse that he couldn't even talk to me about? Had I done something wrong? I had no idea, but it nagged at my mind the rest of the night until Brandon and I were settling down for bed.
"Katarina's pregnant," he said, just like that. No warning, no beating around the bush. Though I should've expected that. Brandon had never been known to "beat around the bush.
I was speechless for a moment. Finally, all I could manage was a weak, "What?"
Brandon nodded. "Yes, you heard me correctly." He crawled into bed beside me. "He didn't want to say anything because he knew you'd go into 'overprotective mother mode.' Plus, he didn't want to add anymore stress, what with our own baby coming and all."
I stared at my husband. "How can you be so calm about this?" I asked him, raising my voice a little. "Our son is about to be a father! Brandon, this is exactly what I didn't want for him. He won't be able to take care of a baby, he can barely take care of himself!"
"Ashley—"
"I want to talk to him." I started to get out of bed but Brandon stopped me.
"He's not here," he told me. "He went back to Lee's."
"You let him leave?!"
Brandon didn't respond.
"Dammit, Brandon! Don't you get it? Jesse's gonna graduate this year; he was gonna go to college! He was gonna be somebody. He wasn't supposed to be out getting girls pregnant!"
"When are you going to stop planning his life out for him?" Brandon asked calmly after I'd stood up. "He made a mistake, Ashley. You can't tell me you've never made mistakes. I seem to remember you and I making the exact same mistake when I was eighteen."
I closed my eyes. "Why are you bringing that up?"
Brandon stood out of the bed and approached me. He put a hand on my waist and one on my face. "We haven't talked about that in more than twenty years."
I looked up at him. "I'd like to make it longer if you don't mind."
He shrugged. "I think it's about time we talked about it. The kids don't know. Our parents don't know. Hell, Ashley, no one knows but Justine and Brad."
"You forgot Dan and Kittle."
He forced a half smile. "Those two probably don't remember."
"Where is this going, Brandon? You've changed the topic."
Both of his hands were on my face now. He leaned down and kissed me.
"Both of our mothers," he began slowly, "had us at fifteen. You were almost a mother at sixteen. You can't be angry with Jesse for taking a false step when so many generations before him have, ourselves included. Look at your grandmother, Ashley. She was seventeen when she had your uncle Tommy." He paused; wiped a tear from my cheek. "I understand that you're upset. I can't say I'm the happiest man in the world right now, but I'm not disappointed in him either. We need to be there for him, Ashley. We have to support any decision he or Kati makes. Because no matter what, he is still our son. And he needs us."
He had only wanted to talk to his father. He explained to us that he had gone to Lee's instead of to school, headed to his room without dinner, then called for Brandon about two hours later. He didn't want me anywhere near.
I'll admit I was hurt. What was so upsetting to Jesse that he couldn't even talk to me about? Had I done something wrong? I had no idea, but it nagged at my mind the rest of the night until Brandon and I were settling down for bed.
"Katarina's pregnant," he said, just like that. No warning, no beating around the bush. Though I should've expected that. Brandon had never been known to "beat around the bush.
I was speechless for a moment. Finally, all I could manage was a weak, "What?"
Brandon nodded. "Yes, you heard me correctly." He crawled into bed beside me. "He didn't want to say anything because he knew you'd go into 'overprotective mother mode.' Plus, he didn't want to add anymore stress, what with our own baby coming and all."
I stared at my husband. "How can you be so calm about this?" I asked him, raising my voice a little. "Our son is about to be a father! Brandon, this is exactly what I didn't want for him. He won't be able to take care of a baby, he can barely take care of himself!"
"Ashley—"
"I want to talk to him." I started to get out of bed but Brandon stopped me.
"He's not here," he told me. "He went back to Lee's."
"You let him leave?!"
Brandon didn't respond.
"Dammit, Brandon! Don't you get it? Jesse's gonna graduate this year; he was gonna go to college! He was gonna be somebody. He wasn't supposed to be out getting girls pregnant!"
"When are you going to stop planning his life out for him?" Brandon asked calmly after I'd stood up. "He made a mistake, Ashley. You can't tell me you've never made mistakes. I seem to remember you and I making the exact same mistake when I was eighteen."
I closed my eyes. "Why are you bringing that up?"
Brandon stood out of the bed and approached me. He put a hand on my waist and one on my face. "We haven't talked about that in more than twenty years."
I looked up at him. "I'd like to make it longer if you don't mind."
He shrugged. "I think it's about time we talked about it. The kids don't know. Our parents don't know. Hell, Ashley, no one knows but Justine and Brad."
"You forgot Dan and Kittle."
He forced a half smile. "Those two probably don't remember."
"Where is this going, Brandon? You've changed the topic."
Both of his hands were on my face now. He leaned down and kissed me.
"Both of our mothers," he began slowly, "had us at fifteen. You were almost a mother at sixteen. You can't be angry with Jesse for taking a false step when so many generations before him have, ourselves included. Look at your grandmother, Ashley. She was seventeen when she had your uncle Tommy." He paused; wiped a tear from my cheek. "I understand that you're upset. I can't say I'm the happiest man in the world right now, but I'm not disappointed in him either. We need to be there for him, Ashley. We have to support any decision he or Kati makes. Because no matter what, he is still our son. And he needs us."