Chapter 9

"What do you mean we're not going after her?" Beastboy shouted furiously at Robin. Robin crossed his arms.

"Like I said. We can't force Raven to do anything. If she's chosen to join Slade…"

"But she only did that to save us! She didn't mean it."

"If she breaks the law, we'll go after her. We'll act depending on what she does then. If she fights us, we fight back."

"But Robin, this is what happened with Terra!" Beastboy said "Terra was our friend."

"And so was Raven. If she's truly joined Slade-"

"She hasn't! I don't believe you!" Beastboy shouted. Robin stood up, and glared at Beastboy.

"We didn't believe Terra had either and then she tried to kill us! Call me crazy, but I don't want to make the same mistake twice!"

"Raven is not Terra!" Came a female voice.

They both stopped. Starfire was standing a little way off in the living room of Titans Tower. Robin looked confused.

"Starfire…"

"Stop, Robin. We barely knew Terra and she betrayed us. It was understandable. But Raven is our friend and we have known her for a long time. You cannot accuse her this way!" Starfire said loudly. Robin swallowed.

"Starfire, we don't have a choice. Raven said it herself."

"Robin's right. She said she was the enemy. And if I've learnt anything from Raven, it's that she's always serious." Cyborg said, joining Robin. Starfire moved over to Beastboy.

"You would kill her?" She demanded, green eyes fixed on Robin. He didn't speak. Cyborg answered for him.

"If she tries to kill, we'll get her."

"Robin?" Starfire whispered. He looked up at her.

"If she tries to kill someone. We'll kill her."

Beastboy's face twisted with uncontrollable fury. But Starfire stepped forward.

"No, Robin. If she tries to kill someone… you'll kill her."

"What?"

"I will not be a member of a team that would kill a friend." Starfire said resolutely. Robin stared at her.

"Star, what are you talking about?"

"I quit, Robin. I quit the Teen Titans."

"And so do I." Beastboy said. Starfire took out her communicator and laid it on the table. Beastboy put his beside it. And then the pair of them left.

Robin looked at Cyborg.

"Why do I suddenly feel like the bad guy?"

Raven sat on a hard wooden chair. Her eyes were closed and she was mediating. A sniffle sounded nearby and she opened her eyes. Timid was standing nearby.

"Why are you crying?"

"The others don't like me anymore." Timid whispered. Raven stood up and put a hand on Timid's shoulder.

"It doesn't matter. We don't belong to the Teen Titans anymore."

"And it like, totally sucks!" Happy said, joining the conversation. The other Emotions were lined up against the wall.

Raven sighed.

"I had to join Slade."

"I don't like Slade." Timid whimpered. Raven raised an eyebrow. Lazy stretched and belched.

"Whatever."

"Come on! I wanna beat something up!" Brave said, punching the air. Raven looked at the Emotions.

"I need to meditate."

"I want Beastboy." Timid whispered. Happy punched her in the shoulder.

"Cheer up, dude! Yeah, it'd be cool if BB were here. But he's not."

Raven flinched. Beastboy… Happy cocked her head.

"Hey… why'd you do it anyway?"

"Do what?"

"Give up so easily. You could have beaten Slade."

"You know the answer."

"Yeah, but I wanna hear it from your mouth." Happy folded her arms. Raven sighed.

"I gave in because I was afraid."

"Of what?" Brave asked. 

"I was afraid that I might hurt one of you."

"See? She likes us." Happy said, patting Timid's shoulder. Timid shivered and wrapped her cloak around her.

"I didn't want to give up Beastboy. But my emotions… you are too important. All of you." Her eyes trailed across them and paused on Anger. They watched her. Timid sniffed.

"You'd rather keep us than Beastboy?"

"Yes."

"But you love him."

"Yes." She said and sat down, cross-legged. The Emotions exchanged looks. Happy and Timid sat down too. Brave joined them. One by one the Emotions sat down and made a large circle around Raven, all imitating her meditating pose. Only one remained apart from them. And that was Anger.

As Raven meditated, she suddenly felt at peace. Opening an eye briefly she sat the Emotions with their eyes closed, hovering around her like a protective barrier.

Maybe it had been selfish to choose her Emotions over Beastboy. Thinking more about herself then Beastboy. But these weren't something you could just throw away. They were part of her. If the Titans had fought Slade more than one Emotions would have gotten hurt. And she had spoken the truth. They were important to her and she didn't want to lose them. No matter what.

But were they worth losing her friends for. Raven took another look at the figures. Timid was watching her fearfully. As Raven caught her eye, the Emotion gave a weak smile and closed her eyes again. Raven smiled.

Yes. It had been worth it. She may have to fight her friends. But if they could beat Slade… well, they probably wouldn't want her back. But she had been alone for a long time, she could handle it.

She would see when the time came. If the Emotions would not fight Slade, the Titans would have to kill her. It was a no win situation. She could either fight with Slade, let him use the machine to hurt innocent people, keep her Emotions and lose her friends. Or she could rejoin her friends, risk Slade using that machine to hurt people, including the Titans and force her Emotions into battle with themselves and ending up losing them.

Because Anger had chosen Slade.

Starfire and Beastboy sat in the park. Neither one spoke. Starfire had been crying. Tear stains lined her cheeks. She sniffed.

"Beastboy?"

"Yeah?"

"We did the right thing, correct?"

"Yeah, we did. I just can't believe that Cyborg and Robin would act like that."

"I know. I always believed that Robin would do right thing. He is the most important person to me. But I cannot love someone who would act like that."

"You really love him?" Beastboy asked. Starfire nodded.

"Very much so."

"And you gave him up for Raven."

"Raven is my friend. We have only just got her back. We cannot abandon her. I am sure she did not mean to do what she did."

"Yeah. She told us to go because Slade is using that machine. If she does anything bad, it's because Slade is making her. I'm not going to lose her again. We lost Terra to Slade. We nearly lost Robin. But we're not going to lose Raven."

"What shall we do, Beastboy?" Starfire asked. Beastboy shrugged.

"I don't know. We could go back to that place and try to find her. Or if we could find the machine and destroy it-"

"Then Slade would be unable to manipulate Raven!" Starfire said delightedly. Beastboy nodded and stood up. Starfire held his arm.

"Beastboy?"

"Yes?"

"Do you really love Raven?"

"Of course." He said, looking at her as if she were mad.

"If it came to it… I'm not saying it will, but if it did… would you still love her if she did something bad, and Slade was not behind it? If she did something bad because she wanted to?"

"Of course. That's what love is. You don't give up on a person because of one bad decision." Beastboy said.

As they walked out of the park, Starfire considered his answer.

Raven opened her eyes and stepped to the ground. Slade had entered the room.

"No need to stop. Carry on." He said. She ground her teeth. Granting her permission to do something, like a dog and it's master…

"Why me?" She asked. He paused and surveyed her.

"I told you."

"Power isn't the only reason. The other's have it." He folded his arms and watched her closely. She stared back.

"I chose you because of your power. And I chose you because of your emotions. You keep them down. That was where I failed with Robin. His emotions are too available. He was a hero. He has a conscience that he takes notice of. You on the other hand…"

"I have a conscience!" Raven said defensively. Slade stepped closer and Raven felt the hair on the back of her neck prickle.

"But you can squash it. You can contain it. You have killed."

"That was an accident!"

"Yes, but you still did it. You killed. And you handled it. You didn't fall to pieces. On the contrary, you worked harder, to become better."

"Not to become a better killer. To be in control."

"But you did become a better killer. Yes, you can control your powers better, but that just means you can use them more efficiently."

Raven opened her mouth to protest, but closed it again in dismay. He was right. She had left a killer and returned a better killer. She hadn't become safer; she had become far more dangerous. Slade smiled and reached out. Raven didn't move as he pushed her hood back. Her hair fell down into her face and he smiled.

"Yes… you are better than Robin or Terra. You are not an apprentice. You are more than that."

"I don't-"

"Shh. Don't say anything. You can't say anything because you know I'm right. Do what you do best, Raven. Think about it, accept it and dismiss it."

He turned a walked away. Raven stayed stuck to the spot. She didn't see the satisfied look in his eye and she didn't realise that she had fallen into his trap.

Robin and Cyborg were loading up on weapons.

"OK – You find the machine and destroy it and I'll get to Raven." Robin confirmed their plan. Cyborg nodded and put a hand on his back.

"Hey man… you OK?"

"Yeah. Let's just get this other with."

"If Raven's willing to help us we'll take her back, right?"

"Of course. But if she fights us we fight back." Robin said resolutely.  Cyborg still looked uncertain. Robin looked at him.

"Cy… we have to do this. Just like we had to fight Terra. If Raven has joined Slade then she must be stopped. And so must he. Slade was right. She's got great power. If that power is working against us then we're in trouble."

"I know, Robin. But I can't help feeling…"

"I know. I do to. But we have to be strong about this. Starfire and Beastboy let their feelings get in the way. We have to do it, before innocent people get hurt." Robin told him.

"Yeah, you're right."

"Stopping Slade is the priority. That comes first." Robin said.

As they left the island, Robin watched the sun. It was late morning by now.

He hated this. Always having to be the responsible one. Always having to be the one who made the harsh decisions and having to live with the consequences. And because of this leadership role he had lost two of his best friends and the girl he loved.

Cyborg glanced across at the leader of the Teen Titans. He was frowning slightly. Cyborg knew that look. It was hard on Robin. But he was the leader. Making these choices came with the name. People didn't understand exactly how much pressure was on the Boy Wonder.

Because it came down to it he was only the first part. A boy. A teenager. A teenager with the weight of the world on his shoulders. He had shared that burden with the five of them. But the five had suddenly whittled down to a meagre two. One had joined the enemy. Two had refused to fight.

Cyborg would stay. He and Robin had had their differences but he wasn't going to leave him now. Not when he needed him the most. He would help shoulder the weight, and make the choices.

Choices… that was what it was all about. Each of the Titans had a choice to make.

And make it they would.