Disclaimer: Alright, you got me. I don't own the X-files. So what? Lets make a list here of what I do own, Stapey, Hammey, Tele, Agent Kingsley, Agent Hopkins, Agent Robertson, Dr. Rach, and the list just goes on. So, I'd say I'm doing pretty damn good for myself, even if I'm not getting any money for this. So there. Leave me the hell alone already.

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Thank you for all the wonderful reviews!

Tea in the Sahara: just wonderin'...what does 'dot dot dot' mean? Thanks for the review, i'm glad you find my story amusing.

BeeKay84: one of my ever faithful reviewers! I think you've reviewed every chapter of this story and all of Just Another: Day at the Office, as well! Thanks! Yea! More people recognize that I am a genuis! you're too kind! Thank you so much!

LVB: No! Tele is mine, all mine! no one can have her! :ahem: anyway, glad you love it!

Rach: :Bows to the claps: Thank you, thank you very much! Another one of my always faithful reviewers. Thanks! Sorry 'bout the teasing. I know how you feel, but, it's all fun and games, plus, I (hopefully) will grow more, but, from how tall my mom is it's not that promising! Dr. Rach will be coming up again soon.

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Scully dragged Mulder into the first shop and they immediately began searching for clothes to make him more manly, or rather less fruity. Scully missed Dana, she would have been a big help in this situation, she was always wonderful when it came to fashion, although Scully thought that she did a damn good job on her own. But, it was always nice to have a second opinion.

Scully caught Mulder looking at a purple shirt and panicked. "No! No, Mulder! Don't do it!" She yelled as she ran to him.

"What? Don't do what?"

"Don't even consider that shirt, Mulder! It's even more fruity than the pink one, if that's even possible. Where is your sense of fashion, man? Have you no taste?"

A very obviously gay sales clerk walked over to them and looked Mulder up and down. Mulder didn't notice this but Scully did.

"Don't you even think about it, fruitcake, he's straight and he's mine. Go back to your little job."

The man looked at her, his jaw hanging open. "Oh no you didn't." He said snapping his fingers to match what he said.

Scully raised an eyebrow, "Oh, yes I did. What are you going to do about it, girlyman?"

The man called her a bitch and lunged at her but Scully was smart and stepped to the side, the man crashed into somebody that had been standing behind her, taking whoever it was down with him. Scully craned her neck to see who the unlucky victim was and to her amusement saw Diana. While Diana fought to get the very small and very gay male off of her Dana and Mulder snuck out the back door and went off to the next shop.

"Guess we shouldn't have gone into a store named, The Fruity Shoppe', huh, Scully. I wonder why Diana was in there."

"You know, that would explain an anonymous e-mail I got about her a little while back. And some questions I had after a game of post office at the women of the FBI' annual get together."

"The women of the FBI have an annual get together?"

"Oh, yeah. Every July 9th. We've got a bar that sponsors it, free drinks for any woman with an FBI badge. We all get smashed and most of the time when we're high out of our minds we'll play games that we used to play when we were younger, like truth or dare."

"What about spin the bottle?"

"You know, some of the Agents do, but I never have. I don't normally drink or smoke that much. Now that I think of it, Diana was one of those Agents." Scully shuddered. "You know, it makes sense, she's so ugly all she can get is the Spenders and women drunk out of their minds." They continued walking until they reached another store that Scully wanted to go into. "Ooh. Come on, Mulder, you can buy me something."

"Why do I have to buy it?" He whined.

"Because!"

"Because, why!"

"Because…I said so, that's why!"

"Why'd you say so?"

"Because!"

"Because, why?"

"Mulder! Shut up! You're going to buy me something, and that's that. Don't ask questions are you'll never get laid!"

He sobered and they went into the store. Scully tried on dress after dress after dress (not that Mulder was complaining, some of the dresses were quite showy, he just didn't like that Diana had followed them into the store and was staring at Scully when she came out to model her dresses). In the end she picked a dark blue satin dress that fell just past her knees and had spaghetti-straps. When they went to pay for the dress Mulder noticed Diana again, she was drooling.

Mulder didn't want to pay the $230 for the dress, but figured if it helped him get laid it was worth it. The next store they went to Scully helped Mulder pick out some clothes.

The store they went to after that was for women. Scully wanted to do some more shopping. The first thing that caught Mulder's eye when they walked in was a dark red tube-top. He held it up for Scully to see while wriggling his eyes suggestively.

Scully didn't seem amused. "How much does it cost?" She asked merely out of curiosity.

"85."

"Dollars? Mulder, that shirt looks like it was made for a baby doll. Is that all you get?"

He shrugged, "I guess."

She shook her head and went off to look at some other clothes.

And then Scully nearly got into a fight with that short salesman from The Fruity Shoppe' because he had followed them there and was trying to hit on Mulder again. But, Diana was once again there to break his fall. They made their final escape and went to get something to eat. After lunch they went to a movie and then back to Scully's apartment to order Chinese.

"Hey, Scully," Mulder said when she hung up the phone with the Chinese restaurant, "who's pa--"

"You."

"Damn, Scully, you're really frugal."

"Do you want to get laid or not?" She said deadpan.

That was the end of the conversation. When the delivery boy arrived Mulder paid him and then they ate their dinner in silence. Mulder not wanting to say anything that could hurt his chances of being laid, and Scully contemplating a way of getting out of the mess she had gotten herself into.

"By George I've got it!" She cried out halfway through the fried rice. She'd figured out a way to get out of screwing Mulder!

"You've got what?"

"Ah…um…what?"

Mulder blinked, "huh?"

Damn, she'd forgotten what she'd gotten! "Damn it, Mulder! You made me forget!"

"Forget what!"

"I DON'T KNOW! I FORGOT!"

"Oh."

A few minutes later the idea came back to her, "hot damn!"

"What? Hot dogs? Where?"

"Not hot dogs you moron. Hot damn!"

"Well, what's so hot about damn?"

"Mulder."

"Yeah."

"Shut-up."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." He took a bite of his General Tso's chicken and Scully sneeked off to formulate her plan.

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a/n: alright, so her plan is reveled in the next chapter. Then there is one more after that, (don't worry Dr. Rach will make another appearance in this story!). Now, I'm thinking of making a third installment of the Just Another: series. But, I'm going to be away for the summer (I'm leaving June 10th and coming back the 13th of July or sometime close to then) and it'll have to wait until then If there's another. Anyway, let me know how this is, ya hear?