Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, except the one I created myself. All others belong to J. K. Rowling and Warner Brothers. I have only borrowed them for my amusement and hopefully yours as well.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews as always guys! If you only knew how much I look forward to all of your kind words. To Violet: Sorry you were sick and no, your e-mail wasn't too long at all!

Chapter 32

Dumbledore had been observing Jolicia and Severus. At first, he had been quite pleased with his little plan, but once he saw Severus storm out of the Great Hall, he knew something had gone horribly wrong.
"What happened? Why did he leave like that, Albus?" asked Minerva.
"I wish I knew, my dear. They looked like they had finally connected. I don't think you could've gotten so much as a slip of paper between them. Look at Jolicia now – she looks devastated. Minerva, I am at my wits end. What are we to do now?"
"I don't think there is much that we can do. We have to hope they will be able to work things out for themselves. Pray to Merlin that they can, Albus."
For the rest of the dance, Jolicia kept staring at the door waiting for Severus to come back. He didn't. She couldn't fathom what she could have possibly done to upset him. They had not said one word to each other. She had not purposely caused him to have an erection by rubbing her body lasciviously against his. He had been the one to pull her closer so that they touched. It made no sense. As she walked by his door, she desperately wanted to enter his sanctuary and make him tell her what had happened. She resisted the temptation.
"I don't dare anger you further, Severus. I'll wait until you calm down, and then we'll have a nice long chat and clear this whole matter up," she thought.
Jolicia cried herself to sleep that night. No man had ever caused her to do this before. No one had ever made her feel the way he made her feel.
The day after the dance, Jo never caught so much as a glimpse of Severus. Sunday was the same. She wondered if he had been 'called' yet again. She had asked some of the teachers and students if they had seen him. The reply was not what she wanted to hear – they had seen him. Professor Snape was spotted here and there, any where except where Jolicia was.
She had seen him at breakfast Monday morning; seen him for all of fifteen seconds. Jo had wished him a good morning as they passed one another. He had replied good morning and had kept right on walking. He did not slow down at all nor had he looked at her.
"He's definitely avoiding me. How am I supposed to 'fix' this if he won't even fucking look at me?" she wondered.
The students noticed that their Professor Medwin was not herself. She seemed distracted and was short-tempered. They had not seen her anything but happy since that first day when she had cursed Draco. They all wanted to know the reason for her change in behavior and how they could help put things right again. Several students had been brave enough to ask her what was wrong. Their answer was 'nothing'. Jo had even given Harry the same response. She later gave the same line to Draco. The students received the lessons that were required, but the joy had gone out of her classroom.
One evening, Harry arrived for his 'private' lesson. Jo was standing with her back towards the door, so she did not see him enter the room. Harry was about to say hello when he realized that Jo was using the Pensieve! She had always said that she had nothing to hide from him – so what had changed? It obviously had to do with whatever was making her sad. It was horrible enough for her to ensure complete secrecy. Harry silently withdrew from the class until he saw that she had finished what she was doing. He then re-entered the room and greeted his favorite teacher. He wished he knew what to do.
The days went by and still Severus managed to avoid Jolicia. She suspected he had even started taking his meals in his office. Many times she had knocked on his door but no reply was forthcoming. Once, she had hidden and waited until she saw with her own two eyes that he was indeed present. He once again, he did not answer. Two weeks had passed by and still the situation was unresolved.
On Saturday afternoon, Harry, Ron, and Hermione were on their way to the library to do some research and a little studying.
The boys were joking and carrying on when Hermione said, "Shhh! Do you hear that?"
They stopped to listen. "We don't hear anything, do we Harry? You're losing it, Hermione! You're starting to hear things," laughed Ron.
"No, I heard something. Listen."
"Wait. That…that sounds like someone crying. Hermione, where's it coming from?" said Harry. They strained their ears to determine the source of the sobs.
"It's coming from down that corridor. Let's go see who it is," answered Hermione.
Carefully, the three made their way down the deserted hallway. Rounding the corner they came upon Jolicia. She was sitting on the window ledge, staring out into the cold, grey sky, sobbing. They looked at one another and motioned for Harry to go forward.
He quietly walked to her side and said very softly, "Jo, what's wrong. Why are you crying?" He put his hand on her shoulder.
"Harry, what are you doing here? Hermione and Ron, too?"
"We were on our way to the library when we heard someone crying. We came to see who it was and to see if we could help, didn't we guys?" Hermione and Ron nodded solemnly.
"Jo, we know something is wrong. We've all noticed that you haven't been yourself. Won't you tell us?"
"It's nothing, really. The whole thing is a silly misunderstanding. I don't really want to get into it. There's nothing you could do any way. I'll be okay, really I will. Don't worry. Okay? If you don't mind, I'd like to be alone for awhile longer."
They wanted to stay to keep her company, but she finally convinced them to leave. They reluctantly agreed.
"Harry, something awful is going on with her. We have to do something," said Hermione.
"I agree, but how are we supposed to help when we don't know what the problem is?" queried Harry.
"Maybe we should go see Dumbledore," said Ron. "He'll know what to do."
"Brilliant idea, Ron," said Hermione. Harry agreed.
The trio tried the staff room and luckily the Headmaster was there.
"What can I do for you?" he asked.
"Sorry to bother you, Professor Dumbledore, sir, but it's Professor Medwin – we found her crying," said Harry. He then explained her demeanor of late and that she had denied that anything was wrong.
"We know something is not right. Could you speak to her, sir? Perhaps she'll confide in you."
"Not to worry. She's in the sixth floor corridor, you say? I'll see if I can help. Off you go now."
Albus sighed. He knew exactly what was wrong with her. He wasn't sure what he could do, but it was worth one last try.
He found her sitting in the window, just as Harry had said. He watched her for a few moments, trying to decide what he was going to tell her. Could he tell her the truth? No, the truth was something she was going to have to discover for herself. She probably wouldn't have believed it anyway.
"Here goes nothing," he thought.
"Jolicia, my child, what's wrong?" Dumbledore asked in the kindest, most caring voice he could muster.
She sat up, wiped her eyes and said in an annoyed tone, "Headmaster. The 'Terrific Trio' sent you, didn't they? I told them I wanted to be alone." She looked once again out the window.
"Don't be cross with them. They are quite concerned about you, Jolicia. That is why they sought me out - they want to help you, but they don't know how. Would you like to talk about it?"
"No disrespect intended, but no thank you, Headmaster."
"I think it's time you called me Albus, don't you? Are you sure? I think I have acquired a certain amount of wisdom over my many years. I might be able to offer you a different perspective."
"I can't talk about it. It is too personal."
"Nonsense, my dear. Surely you know you can trust me? Anything you would like to share with me will be kept in the strictest confidence. I can see that this is weighing heavily on you. Unburden yourself, child."
She looked at him, suddenly wanting to do just that – divest herself of the weight that was pressing on her, choking her. Albus took out his wand and saying 'Accio chair' called the seat over to the window. He made himself comfortable, took her hand and gave it a quick squeeze as if to say 'begin'.
She wiped her eyes, swallowed hard and began, "Albus, I don't know what to do. You see, I have fallen in love."
"That's wonderful!"
"It would be, but he wants nothing to do with me. He has been avoiding me for two weeks. He won't even talk to me. My heart is broken"
"Ah, that explains why we have barely seen Severus of late."
Jo was shocked. "How…how did you know that it is Severus?"
"My child, it has been obvious. Not to everyone, mind you, but to me. I see the way that you both steal looks at one another when you think no one is looking. I see the way he watches you as you go about your day. I see the smile that crosses your face whenever he enters a room. Severus has smiled more in the last seven months than he has in his whole time here at Hogwarts. You have been here seven months. So you see, I have known for quite sometime."
"But Albus, I only realized that I was in love with him at the Valentine's Day dance. How could you see something that wasn't there?"
"Just because you didn't know, doesn't mean it didn't exist. Your hearts knew before your brains figured it out."
"The problem with all this is that he doesn't love me. As I said, he is avoiding me like I had the plague. Whatever feelings he might have had for me have disappeared. I don't know why. I didn't do anything."
"Tell me, Jolicia. You say Severus stopped talking to you at the dance? It looked to me like you two were getting on like a house on fire."
"We were. He was enjoying himself. I could, um, tell that he did. All of a sudden, he was gone. No explanation."
Dumbledore pondered this for a little while. He searched for the proper words.
"He's petrified, Jolicia. That can be the only explanation. These feelings he has for you are overwhelming him. He doesn't know how to handle them."
"How can that be, Albus? I could understand being a little afraid and unsure, but to be that scared that you're willing to give it all up?"
"Think about it. I've told you some things about his life, as I'm sure Severus has told you as well. It has not been a happy existence. He has probably convinced himself that he doesn't need anyone, that he's better off continuing as he is now - alone and unloved. You can't hurt him if he doesn't let you into his heart."
"I would never do that Albus! I could never hurt him."
"Severus doesn't know that, Jolicia. Perhaps he feels the risk is too great. Are you really sure that it is love you feel for him?"
"I have never been more sure of anything in my life. It came to me all of a sudden while we were dancing. This man is my soul mate; I know he is"
"Then I think it is time you tell him how you feel. Reassure him, make him understand. Help him to come to terms with his feelings. Let him see that he is allowed to love you."
"I don't know if I can get through to him, Albus. What if I can't make him see the truth? I'm so afraid to push him even further away. I couldn't stand it. This distance between us is killing me."
"I fear it is doing the same to him, Jolicia. You have to try. Make him listen to you."
Jo shook her head, realizing he was right. She had to do this.
"Thank you, Albus. It has helped to get this off my chest. Wish me luck."
"I wish you all the luck in the world, my child." He stood and gave a kiss on the forehead. "I'll leave you with your thoughts."
As he walked away he thought, "She knows the truth. I only hope she can make him see it as well."
Jolicia mulled over Albus' words – she knew he was right. How in the world was she going to make Severus listen to her? If he felt that strongly about not giving in to his feelings about her, maybe there was nothing she could say or do to convince him otherwise. She would have to choose her words very carefully, but the main problem was how to broach the subject. She couldn't walk up to Severus and say 'I love you' out of the blue. Jo decided that she would worry about what she was going to say once she got her foot inside his door. That in itself was going to be a daunting task.
Jo let the rest of the evening slip away. The next morning, she went for breakfast but barely ate. As had been the rule of late, Severus did not show his face. Albus judged by her appearance that she had not yet spoken to the Potions Master. If she had, and it had gone well, Jo would have been ecstatic and quite likely Severus would have been at her side; if she had spoken to him and it had not gone well, Jo would never have come to the Great Hall – she would have been too devastated. Dumbledore could tell Jolicia was nervous, so that meant the task had not been completed. He did not engage her in conversation; he only whispered 'courage' in her ear as he got up to leave. Jo gave him a weak smile.
"I need more than courage," Jo thought. "I need a miracle."
She returned to her room to gather herself together. Jo paced back and forth for quite some time until she finally said, "This is ridiculous. I have to get this over with."
Jo took a deep breath and left her room to knock on his door. She banged loudly, but no answer came.
"Severus, it's Jolicia. Please, I must speak with you." No answer.
"Please, we need to talk. Open up." No answer.
Pounding on his door, she yelled, "SEVERUS, PLEASE, I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU. LET ME IN. I WON'T LEAVE UNTIL YOU DO." Still no response came.
Jo banged for half an hour when finally it opened. Severus glared at her and said, "Do you not take a hint? Does the fact that I have not answered you not make you realize that I do not wish to speak to you? You are driving me insane, woman. Please leave. NOW!" He moved to slam the door. Jo pushed her way in.
"Jolicia, leave my room at once. We have nothing to discuss. GO AWAY," he cried.
"I'm sorry, I can't. I need you to explain something to me. What have I done? What did I do or say to you that caused you to abandon our friendship?"
He closed his eyes and sighed. This was the confrontation that he had been dreading.
"You have done nothing, Jolicia. I think it will be best for both of us if we dissolve this 'friendship' as you call it. It brings nothing to me, therefore it is pointless. If you would be so kind as to leave now," he said, moving to the door.
"You're not getting rid of me so easily. What do you mean, it brings you nothing? Are you trying to tell me that you have not appreciated one, single solitary moment of our time together over the past seven months?"
"Ah, you have finally grasped what I have been trying to tell you. That is correct, I have not."
"Liar!"
"I beg your pardon? Who do you think you are, barging into my room and calling me a liar? I am trying to be honest with you and this is how you treat me? I think you should go, woman." He glared at her with a look that would have made any other run in fear for their life. Jolicia stood her ground.
"You don't know how to be honest, Severus Snape. Not only are you lying to me, but you are to yourself as well. You forget I was with you. I'm not blind. I was told recently that you have been seen smiling more in the last seven months than you have in your time here. Isn't that funny? I have been here seven months. I suppose you are going to tell me it has all been an act."
"How dare you discuss me with others! My smiling has nothing to do with you. It has been a coincidence."
Jo shook her head in disbelief. "Right. Let's just say that this is true. Why then did you not leave my side when I had my accident? No feelings of any kind for me, huh?"
Through clenched teeth he said, "Poppy was not supposed to tell you."
"Poppy never said one word to me. She's not the only one who saw you."
"I stayed with you out of concern for a colleague."
Jo snickered and said, "A co-worker you pop in and check on; a friend you stay with."
"That is your opinion. This discussion is getting us nowhere. Will you not leave?"
She could see him becoming more and more uncomfortable. "What about the Valentine's Day? You enjoyed our dance."
"I didn't have much choice but to dance with you. Albus forced me into it. I didn't want to be ungracious."
"I suppose he forced you to get an erection as well? I felt how hard you were, Severus." She saw his discomfiture; she was hitting home. Jo touched his arm and whispered, "I was excited just as much as you were. I waited and waited for you to return. I wanted our evening to end differently."
Severus pulled away from her and looking coldly into her eyes said, "It was a purely physiological response."
"What?"
"You rubbed yourself against me. My body reacted to a stimulus, that is all. Don't read anything more into it, Jolicia."
She decided not to point out the fact that he was the one who had pulled her closer.
"You mean to tell me that if you had been dancing the same way with Professor McGonagall or Professor Sprout, you'd have been just as hard?"
"Yes."
Jo clapped her hands over her eyes and shook her head saying, "I have never in my 32 years seen anyone who could shovel the dragon shit the way you can!"
"This discussion has ended. You might as well leave, Professor Medwin. I shall ignore you from this point on." He walked over to an easy chair by the fireplace and threw himself into it, his face turned away from Jo.
She stood staring at him, wondering what she should say now. She went to the chair and got down on her knees before him; he turned his face away yet again.
"I can't leave, Severus. This is too important to me, we are too important to me. I understand you more than you realize. I …I know you are afraid."
He wanted to reply, to say he was afraid of nothing, especially not her. He remained silent, keeping his vow to ignore her.
"I want you to think back to my first day. Do you remember what happened when I walked into the staff room? Our eyes met and there was a reaction. I felt it and I know you did as well. I saw you shiver just as I did. I didn't think much of it at the time but now I know what that was. I have felt it many, many times and you can't tell me that you haven't as well. All of the time I thought it was this draughty old castle but it isn't, Severus. It is us. Our bodies and souls are calling to one another, reaching out." She stopped and looked for a reaction and found none. He remained steadfastly staring into space.
"There has been something nagging at me for many months. I discovered what it was the night we danced. As you held me so tightly in your arms realized that this is where I was supposed to be. I felt complete. What had been missing is you. Looking back I knew that the only times I felt whole was when we were together. When we are apart, I am miserable. I can think only of you, Severus." She once again paused and once again was met by silence. She continued, taking a deep breath before saying her next sentence.
"Severus, I can't live without you. I need you. I…love you. I love you with all my heart and soul." Still no reaction.
"Look into your own heart. I know you love me as well. I can feel it, in spite of all your protests to the contrary. Let yourself be happy, Severus. Love me. Don't be afraid to let yourself go. I will never, ever hurt you. Please, admit it. Can't you see it? We are soul mates, Severus."
He never flinched.
With desperation rising in her voice, Jo said, "Think back about what I have said. You have had those feelings, haven't you? Felt all tingly and shaky? Felt like you couldn't wait until you saw me again? Felt that sense of relief when I came into the room? Felt at peace when I was by your side?" Her questions remained unanswered. Time was running out.
"Don't you think you deserve to be loved, Severus? You do just as much as anyone. You deserve happiness. Let it happen. Please."
She stood up on her knees and grabbed him by the arms.
"Please, Severus. PLEASE!" she begged. He turned to her and looked deeply into her eyes with as much ice as he could muster. She could actually feel the cold; it pierced her soul. She sunk back down on her heels, the bitter taste of defeat rising in her throat.
Sighing, she said, "I don't know what else I can say, Severus. If this is what you truly want, I have no choice but to comply with your wishes. Are you sure? I won't ask again."
"I am sure," were his only words.
She hung her head briefly and then looked once again into his coal black eyes. A single tear made its way down her cheek.
"There's one thing I must do, before I go," she said. She reached out and ran her fingers through his hair.
"I knew it; your hair isn't greasy at all. It is like silk, fine black silk." She arose and ran from the room, slamming the door behind her.