Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, except the one I created myself. All others belong to J. K. Rowling and Warner Brothers. I have only borrowed them for my amusement and hopefully yours as well.

A/N: This chapter contains scenes of a sexual nature. If you are not of age, please come back later.

Chapter 33

Severus sat fuming in his chair.

"Who does she think she is? Coming here and saying all those things to me! Insulting me! She has a very high opinion of herself. Imagine her thinking I'm in love with her. Ha!"

No longer able to remain seated, he jumped up and began pacing.

"She is delusional. I showed her friendship and now she thinks I love her. I never once did anything to encourage her. Foolish woman! How could I possibly love someone like her?"

He picked up a glass and poured himself a shot of whisky, and then another and another. He felt the amber liquid burn his throat and warmth spread in his belly. A memory flashed before his eyes – his father, holding a bottle in his hand, taunting him. Severus gasped in horror and smashed the glass against the wall.

"I am not my father," he cried in disgust. "Merlin help me! This can not be happening to me. I am in control. I do not need this whisky. I do not need HER."

He continued to pace around the room, trying desperately to regain that control. Thoughts were racing through his mind.

The hours passed. He was slowly coming to a realization – everything Jolicia had said was true. He had felt those shivers. He had sat in anticipation at the teacher's table waiting for her to arrive. The dance had been heaven. He could still feel her in his arms. As hard as he had tried, he had not been able to control that one thing. His feelings for her would not go away. He had willed them away, but yet they lingered.

"This can not happen. She does not know who I am, what I am. She deserves someone better than me; someone worthy of her love. I do not deserve it. I can only bring her misery."

The hours passed – long, tormenting hours. It had hurt so much to treat her like that. The look in her eyes when she had touched his hair was excruciating. He had wounded her very deeply. He had looked into those deep blue eyes and had seen into her soul; it was bleeding. He was standing there, still holding the dagger in his hand.

"I have to make her understand. She is blameless. She offered her love to me but I can't accept it. It is not her, it is me. She has to know the reason why I can't love her. I can't let her go on thinking it is her when it is me."

Severus raced to her door, not aware of the late hour. He had only one thought on his mind – I have to make her understand.

He banged loudly, waiting for a reply.

"Whoever it is, go away," she cried.

"It's Severus, Jolicia. Please, I must speak with you."

"The shoe is on the other foot now, isn't it? Go away."

"I have to explain, please let me in."

"No, you had your chance. There is nothing you could possibly say that I want to hear. Leave me alone."

"You have to listen to me, Jolicia. Please, it's important."

"NO. GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY DOOR. LEAVE ME ALONE."

"Alohomora," he cried and her door swung open. Jo was sitting in a chair by the fireside, dressed in her nightgown. He could tell she had been crying.

"How dare you break into my room like this! Who do you think you are?"  She reached for her wand but was not fast enough.

"Accio wand," he said and Jo's wand flew through the air to his hand.

"Give me my wand!" she commanded.

"No, I'm keeping it until you hear me out."

"You've got some nerve, you insufferable prick. Can't stand a taste of your own medicine, can you? It was okay for you to do this do me for two whole weeks but you can't even take a few hours."

"I'm sorry I did that, Jolicia."

"It is too late for sorry, Severus. Have you come back to see me humiliate myself a little more?"

"You didn't humiliate yourself."

"That's where you're wrong. I was down on my knees in front of you Severus. I begged you, pleaded with you to no avail. I have never done such a thing in my life. Never before have I begged a man to love me. If that isn't humiliation, I don't know what is. Merlin, I have never seen such a cold man in my entire life."

"That is why I came here, to explain why I acted thusly."

"Save your breath. I got the message, loud and clear. Give me back my wand and get out."

"No. You'll listen first."

"LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. GET OUT."

She had never been so angry in all her life. It made her do something she had never done before, not even as a child. She raised her hand to strike him. He caught her before the hand found its target. She formed her other hand into a fist, but he grabbed that one as well, leaving her defenseless.

"Ouch, you're hurting me. Let go of me."

"Promise you won't hit, and I'll let go."

"Promise you'll leave and I'll stop."

"No," came his reply.

Jo started to struggle against him. She tried with all her might, but his grip was too strong, she could not break free.

She continued fighting him, all the while yelling for him to let her loose. He had backed her up against the door in an effort to get her under control. He had not intended to do it, but somehow it seemed right. Before he knew what he was doing, Severus pressed his lips to hers. He felt his resistance slip away.

Jo struggled briefly and then she suddenly realized he was kissing her! She stopped fighting him. Severus knew the very second that she started to kiss back, he had lost not only the battle, but the war as well. All the months of struggling to fight his emotions were in vain. The covering of ice that had surrounded his heart for so long began to melt. From that moment on, he knew he was madly, passionately, hopelessly in love with Jolicia.

At first, their kisses were chaste, almost hesitant. She felt his tongue graze her gently, asking for permission to enter. She opened her mouth to his and their tongues intertwined. He pulled away slightly and stopped to suck on her bottom lip. Merlin, his breath was so hot! He plunged back in and finally let go of her hands. She brought them up from underneath to his shoulders and then ran them slowly down his back until they clutched his ass. She heard him gasp. He reached around and took hold of her hands once again.

"Don't touch me. I'll not last if you do," he whispered. "I don't want it to be like that. Let this first time be for you. Don't speak; keep you hands against the door. Let me do all the work." She nodded her consent.

He kissed her deeply once again, taking her face in his hands. When he withdrew, she followed him upwards, as if begging for more. He rained tiny kisses down her neck and cleavage and then traced his way back up again with his tongue. He placed the palms of his hands against her breasts, teasing her nipples until they were oh, so hard. Severus turned her around so that she faced the door and pressed himself up against her, letting her feel his excitement. Nuzzling the nape of her neck, he reached around and cupped her breasts, pinching the now erect nipples until she groaned. His hands dropped down to lift the hem of her gown, until it exposed her ass. He moaned in appreciation.

"You are so beautiful," he said as he turned her back around to face him. He captured her lips once again and began to undo her buttons. The gown slipped from her shoulders and she stood naked to his gaze. His hands pushed her breasts together and he sucked at her nipples, going from one to the other, gently at first but steadily growing more impatient. He raked his nails gently down her sides and then began to caress her stomach. Slowly, slowly he inched his fingers downward until he found her nub. Jo's breath hitched, and she let out a moan.  He teased her mercilessly. The sensations were exquisite.

"Oh," she cried as he inserted two long fingers inside her. She was so wet, so hot. His thumb and fingers drove her mad. She edged closer and closer, her gasps becoming louder.

His voice was deep and throaty as he commanded her, "Open your eyes, Jo. Look at me. Look at what I am doing to you. Look at me while you come."

She longed to grab him, hold him close to her, to call his name, but she did not dare. She had agreed to remain silent and to keep her hands away. It was torture, delicious torture.

He caressed her faster and faster and watched her face as she was overcome by pleasure. It contorted and she cried out, unable to hold it in any longer.

"Yes, come for me, Jo. Yes, that's it. Yesss!" He held his breath with her as she climaxed. He felt it on his fingers.

She rode the wave, all the while staring into those eyes. Those eyes that had been so cold were now aflame, burning into her soul. She lost herself.

He stared back at her, the slightest smile crossing his lips. He heard her gasp as he withdrew his fingers. She gasped even louder and moaned when he put them in his mouth and sucked them clean, pulling them out very slowly afterwards.

"Nectar," he whispered. 

Oh, Merlin, she had never seen anything so hot and sensual! She could no longer restrain herself. Jo threw herself around him, plunging her tongue deep in his mouth. Summoning all the force she could muster, she flipped him around so his back was against the door.

"I believe it would be your turn now, Professor Snape. Same rules apply to you as they did to me – no touching and no talking." Severus smirked his agreement.

"I do think you have far too many clothes on, sir. Let me give you a hand."

Jolicia ran her hands up his arms and let them rest on his shoulders. Kissing him, she began to undo the buttons of his frock coat and shirt underneath.  She suddenly stopped when she was just above his waist. Severus looked at her, wondering what was wrong. Jo dropped down to the floor and removed his shoes and socks. She sat back on her knees, and stared up at him, starting to run her fingers up his legs. Her trek stopped at the tops of his thighs. She then began to undo his coat, this time from the bottom up. As she passed by his groin, she 'accidentally' let her fingers brush up against his cock. Severus moaned loudly.

"Merlin, she is a tease," he thought.

When she finally removed his coat and shirt, she stood back to appreciate his body. His skin was like the finest alabaster. There was a light thatch of black hair, not on his chest, but on his belly, that pointed its way downward. To Jolicia's delight, he was surprisingly well muscled. She reached forward and caressed his arms, feeling their strength.

"Your body is amazing, Severus. I can't wait to taste every inch of it," she said, biting at his nipples until she heard a moan escape his lips. She worked her way downward, stopped to tickle his navel. She stood up, looked him in the eye and began to unbutton his fly. She accomplished her task barely touching him, much to his disappointment. His balls were beginning to ache. He needed her to touch him.

Jo pulled down his trousers, but left his boxers in place. She was anxious to see what was under the green silk tent in his lap, but wanted to make him wait, just a little longer. She turned him around, as he had done to her. His shoulders were broad and his waist narrow. She caressed him and pulled down the back of his boxers, exposing his flesh.

She slapped him and said, "Nice ass. Merlin, you are delicious, Severus. Turn around." She removed his last piece of clothing.

"You are even more delicious that I thought. My gods, you are beautiful," she gasped when she saw his impressive erection.

She ran her fingers over his body, everywhere except his cock. He couldn't stand it much longer.

"Please," he croaked.

Jo abruptly stood up, clapped her hand over his mouth and pushed him roughly against the door.

"You are breaking our agreement. If you say one more word, I'll stick you to the wall and leave you there for hours, teasing you, never letting you come. Is that what you want, Severus?"

He shook his head, 'no', a look of panic in his eyes.

"I didn't think so. Since you were so kind to see to my needs first and since you asked so nicely, I'll do what you want." Jo kissed him and dropped to her knees. She picked up her wand and said "Accio cushions" and made herself comfortable.

He groaned loudly as she ran her tongue over the tip of his cock. She swirled it around briefly and then took his whole length in her mouth. He groaned again. She began to move up and down, squeezing him with her hand as she did. She knew he wouldn't last too long. Severus was moaning loudly. He almost grabbed her head but caught himself at the last second. She surely would have stopped her ministration if he had. He did not want that to happen!

The sensation was so good he did not want it to stop, even though he needed release so badly. He wanted to tell her how good she was, to tell her how much pleasure she was giving him, but once again he did not dare. She looked up at him, eyes filled with love and passion. He exploded, filling her mouth with his seed. Severus felt like his orgasm would never end. Never before had he experienced such feelings. He collapsed to the floor, panting. He leaned back on the door, his elbows on his knees and his hands over his eyes. Jo was between his legs.

"Are you okay, Severus?" He just nodded, unable to find the strength to speak.

"I don't know why, but I never figured you were into the kinky stuff."

He peered at her from behind his hands and said, "Whatever do you mean by kinky, Jolicia?"

"You know domination, bondage and the like. Kinda like what we just did, in a way."

He laughed and said, "I'm not into that sort of thing. I didn't want you to touch me because I was going to come right then and there. We would have been over before we began."

Jo chuckled and said, "Oh, well then." She added somewhat shyly, "It was good though, wasn't it?"

Severus pulled her into his arms and kissed her tenderly. "It was more than good, it was amazing."

They lay together for awhile, basking in the afterglow.

"I'm cold. Come to bed, Severus," said Jo standing up.

"I don't have the strength, my dear. You drained me."

"Shall I get my wand out? A little 'Mobilcorpus' and I could float you in."

"No, I think I can manage after all." He arose and gathered Jo into an embrace.

"Lead the way to your chamber, milady."

They climbed into Jolicia's bed and snuggled together under the warm down comforter. She had her head against his chest and their legs were intertwined. Neither spoke for quite sometime, enjoying their new found closeness.

Finally, Jo broke the silence and asked, "What was it you were going to tell me, Severus? You never got the chance."

She felt him tense at her question. A wave of panic shot through his mind – should he tell her the whole truth?

Severus sighed and said, "I came here tonight to tell you that I couldn't love you, to tell you you'd be better off without me."

Jo sat up, wrapped the sheet around herself and turned to face him.

"I don't understand. How can you say those things after what just happened?"

"I never intended to kiss you, let alone make love." He saw the hurt look that crossed her face and added, "I wanted to, I have done for a very long time, Jolicia, even if I wouldn't admit it to myself. You have tested my will over and over. You have been most difficult to resist. Tonight, you finally won."

"What do you mean by 'you couldn't love me'?"

"There are…things about me that you don't know. Things I am not proud of. If I could go back and start over again I would, but none of us can do that, Jolicia. I have to live with my past. I don't want you to have to live with it as well. I am going to tell you everything and then you will understand. You'll not see me the same light. You'll no longer love me, Jolicia, of that I am sure."

He unfolded his life story before her, sparing no detail. She listened to every word he had to say without comment. His tale was shocking; his exploits on behalf of Voldemort beyond belief. As he spoke, he waited to see a look of revulsion cross her face, but none came.

Thrusting his left arm forward, he said, "Look, Jolicia. Look at my arm. This is the Dark Mark; the brand of Voldemort. I am tainted, can you not see that? This is why I can't love you. You must not love me either. I am not worthy of your love."

He grew angry, "I should never have come here tonight for I have made our situation worse. I have tasted you and you me. I want it; I want it even more now that I know what I'll be missing." He moved to leave the bed, but Jo held him back.

"Don't go, Severus. Listen to me now. What you have told me is hard to digest, I admit. Although I was unaware of the details, I have known you were a Death Eater for quite sometime. Don't be angry with Albus. He was only trying to help. I also know that you are a spy against your former master."

"My reformation does not erase the evil I have done. It does not excuse me."

"No, it does not excuse you, my love. It does mean, however, that you are no longer the man you once were. The fact that you did reform means that you are not evil but in fact a good man. You are a good man who is trying to make up for his mistakes."

"How can you call me 'my love' after what I have just told you?"

"Simple – you are my love, Severus. Do you remember what I said to you a few hours ago? I told you that I love you with all my heart and soul. I knew then what you are and I said I loved you. I know who and what you are now, Severus Snape and I love you. It's that simple."

"How can you be willing to take this risk, Jolicia? I could be killed by Voldemort at any moment."

"If we can spend ten minutes together as lovers, as soul mates, then it will be worth it. If I can hear you say that you love me at least once, then it will be worth it. I'll risk everything for us, my love."

Severus stared at her, not knowing what to say. He felt as if his chest was not big enough to contain his heart. It was about to explode. He said the only thing he could say.

Pulling her to him and caressing her face, he whispered, "I'll risk it all too, my love. I do, you know. I have been waiting for so long to tell you, but fear held my tongue silent. I am no longer afraid. I love you, Jolicia."  The two lovers fell into a deep kiss.

When they parted, he asked, "You're really sure this is what you want?"

"Yes, yes a thousand times yes!"

He smiled and said, "In that case, I have one more confession to make."

"Go on," she said warily.

"You remember your first day here at Hogwarts? You had all that trouble getting here? Well, um, I don't know how to say this but it was me who sent you astray."

"WHAT?"

"I called in some favors that were owed me. I had the Portkey keepers bribed to send you anywhere but here."

"You bastard," she said with mock anger. "How could you do such a thing?"

"Very easily, as a matter of fact. How fortunate it is that I was unsuccessful."

"Severus, you really are a bastard. You have to make this up to me, you know. As punishment, you have to make love to me for the rest of the night."

"I repent at your feet, madam." With a deliciously wicked grin on his lips, he moved down to them and began to suck her big toe. Jo squirmed with delight. She never knew toes were an erogenous zone!

He worked his way up her legs, stopping to lick behind her knees.

"Stop, stop. It tickles," she screamed.  He would file that away for future use!

He continued upward until his face was between her legs. He heard her gasp in anticipation. She was not disappointed. His tongue darted out and parted her folds, searching for her sweet spot. He captured it between his lips and began to suck ever so gently. She was no longer bound by a vow of silence.

"Oh, Merlin, Severus…don't stop. Oh…yes."

Her release came quickly. Severus didn't miss a beat; he kept on what he was doing – teasing her towards another peak.

The sensations carried her away. She thrashed and moaned; she called his name and grabbed his hair, begged him not to stop. Once again she came with ferocity. Once again his tongue began its work.

"No more, Severus. Oh gods…Oh… I can't anymore…please, Merlin help me…potions are not the only…oh yes…only thing you master. Don't stop! SEVERUS!" Her climax lifted her off the bed.

She pulled him up and begged, "Please, I need you inside me. I need to feel you, Severus."

He entered her ever so slowly, watching her face as he did. Her eyes were heavy with desire. They both hissed 'yes' once he was fully sheathed inside her.

"Oh, Merlin. Jo, you are so hot, so wet…so good."

At first, he maintained the slow, sweet pace, savoring each thrust. As his desire grew, he built up speed until they fell into a rhythm. Jo hooked her legs around his waist. They panted and moaned and called one another's name. They begged Merlin for release. They couldn't get close enough to one another.

Finally, Jo cried, "Sev, I'm coming." The sound of her calling him 'Sev' pushed him over the edge as well. Never had he experienced anything like this! They collapsed in one another's arms, too exhausted to move.

They were on the verge of falling asleep when Jo asked, "Love, grab your wand would you? I need you to cast a contraceptive spell please."

"We better not forget that. Next time, we should do it before we start, that way there's no chance of a slip up. We don't want to have an 'accident' do we?"

"Good idea, Sev. That's the last thing we need."

He replaced his wand on the night table and slipped his arms around Jolicia.

"So I'm 'Sev' now, am I?"

Oh, sorry love. If you'd prefer, I'll stick to your full name."

"No, it's all right. It's just that it has been a long, long time since anyone called me that. I rather like it."

"In that case, let me just say, I love you, Sev."

"I love you, too, Jo."

After one last kiss, they fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.