Disclaimer: Harry Potter and its characters are copyrighted to J. K. Rowling. I do not own the characters in this story.
CHAPTER FIVE
"Is this it?" Draco scowled unhappily as he looked around the small apartment that had just become his home.
"What's wrong with it?" Potter asked in an offended tone.
Trust a Gryffindor not to know anything about luxury and easy living.
"Where's my room?" Draco asked. "I'm sick of carrying this stuff." He and his new host had stopped by the bed-and-breakfast to pick up his small wardrobe and personal effects.
Draco's new bedroom was a cozy guest bedroom with welcoming green walls and a large bed covered in comfy pillows.
"Oh gag," Draco commented.
"What?"
"This room is entirely too pleasant," he wrinkled his nose at the distasteful word. "How can anyone put this much cheer and comfort in one room? How the hell am I supposed to sleep in here?"
"The welcoming homeliness is just too overwhelming?" Potter kidded.
"Exactly," Draco sneered, and he wasn't joking.
His host shrugged. "Tough. I'm sure you'll learn to live with it."
"Nope," Draco said smugly.
"Nope? You mean you're leaving?" Draco resented the hopefulness in Potter's tone.
"As much as I'd love to leave you to your dreary little life, that's not what I meant. My first paycheck is going toward some serious remodeling."
Draco enjoyed the look of alarm rising in the Gryffindor's eyes. "I'm not gonna let you remodel any part of my house! Live with the room the way it is!"
"I'll live with it after it's had a paintjob and a new bedcover. Some new curtains as well," he mused. "And maybe a few new paintings to replace that hideous scenic print hanging on the wall."
"No way."
"It's my room. What will people think if I have an ivy pattern on my comforter?"
With displeasure Draco noted a certain gleam of mischievous insight in the eyes of his host.
"No one will know about the ivy on your comforter," Potter said slowly, as thought carefully weighing the wisdom of his words. "Because this isn't your room."
"Going to make me sleep on the couch are you, Potter? I would have thought you Gryffindors had more consideration for their guests than that."
"No, Malfoy, you can sleep in here. But you're supposed to be my boyfriend, remember? So everyone will have to think you're sleeping in my bedroom. And it wouldn't make sense for you to change the guest room if you're not living in it, so I guess it'll have to stay the way it is." Potter's smug look infuriated Draco.
"Eww, Potter! You want me to pretend I'm sleeping with you? How perverted." Draco's disgust was almost enough to make him sick.
"Your idea," Potter said simply. "What did you suppose people would think when you said you were my boyfriend living with me? Obviously we have to pretend we sleep together."
Crap. Draco hadn't considered this particular repercussion of his actions. He'd have to let people think he was getting nasty with the goody-goody Gryffindor.
"Fine. Go away and let me unpack," he snapped, and his victorious host quietly left the room.
The next morning Harry woke with a frown as he remembered his uninvited guest. Scowling grumpily, he stumbled into the kitchen where he was greeted by the infuriatingly cheerful face of Draco Malfoy.
"Morning, Sweetie," Malfoy drawled cheerfully.
"Don't call me that," Harry snapped.
"You're right. It's too overused. A Malfoy would really be more original than that. So I was actually thinking – Cuddle Butt. A refreshingly unusual pet name."
"Not on your life," Harry ordered swiftly as he saw a malicious leer cover his guest's face.
"But, Cuddle Butt, I just want everyone to know that you're my cuddly wuddly."
"Malfoy, I am not in the mood for this. Now I don't want to hear any of that leave your mouth ever again."
"Alright," Malfoy said much too agreeably.
"Alright?" Harry knew something suspicious was happening.
"Yeah, alright. I have a few other options I've been thinking of," Malfoy said lazily as he refilled his cup with fresh brewed tea.
Harry silently predicted that he wouldn't be liking any of Malfoy's other options better.
"Nuzzly Bear?"
"No."
"Rosy Cheeks?"
"What? No."
"Nutty Butty?"
"Malfoy!"
"Is that a yes?"
"Go to hell."
Malfoy contemplatively returned to his tea and toast. Harry filled with relief when he saw Malfoy was not offering any more pet names.
"Ronny will be by in about ten minutes," Harry commented as he smeared cream cheese over a bagel.
"And who is Ronny?"
"One of the boys from the store. He lives in this building, and we carpool together."
"Shutgun," Malfoy said quickly, and Harry was surprised the wizard knew the muggle term for being the front seat passenger.
"Fine," he muttered grumpily. "Just don't distract me while I'm driving."
"Sugar Buns! I would never do something so dangerous," Malfoy claimed with mock horror.
Harry rejected the unpleasant moniker with a firm shake of the head.
"Rooster Roo?"
"Now that's just stupid."
"Muffin Top? Skunky Pooh? Sugar Drop? Kissy Priss? Tiger Tike?"
"Enough with the pet names!"
Malfoy shrugged, and further discussion was interruption by a knock on the door.
"Come on," Harry snapped, not waiting to see if Malfoy was trailing behind him as he went to open the door.
"Ready to go?" a sandy haired boy inquired, pushing his straight floppy locks off his tiny forehead.
"Munchy Bunchy! Wait for me!" a voice called as Malfoy appeared behind Harry.
Ronny smirked in an maddeningly Malfoy-like manner. Well two could play at this game.
"Nuzzly Bear!" Harry exclaimed, borrowing a nickname Malfoy had suggested earlier. "Of course I wouldn't forget you, my little Schnookie Cookie."
Malfoy pulled a face at Harry's creation of Schnookie Cookie.
"Like the names you made up were any better," Harry muttered to him as they slipped out the door.
"You guys are a really cute couple," Ronny commented cheerfully, falling back to walk with them. "I don't know why Harry ever wanted to deny he was dating such an attractive man."
Harry watched the Slytherin beam delightedly as he grandly offered Ronny a gracious "Why thank you."
"I mean it, Drake. Harry's lucky to have you. He needs someone to put the fun back in his life.
"Oh I fully intend to infuse his life with all the fun he can handle."
Harry didn't quite understand the implications behind that comment, but Malfoy and Ronny grinned as though sharing a private joke.
Great. My friends love Malfoy. I'm trapped in hell.
Malfoy leaned over and whispered conspiratorially into Ronny's ear. The two of them burst into delighted peals of laughter.
It took all of Harry's inner strength not to simply kill them both.
CHAPTER FIVE
"Is this it?" Draco scowled unhappily as he looked around the small apartment that had just become his home.
"What's wrong with it?" Potter asked in an offended tone.
Trust a Gryffindor not to know anything about luxury and easy living.
"Where's my room?" Draco asked. "I'm sick of carrying this stuff." He and his new host had stopped by the bed-and-breakfast to pick up his small wardrobe and personal effects.
Draco's new bedroom was a cozy guest bedroom with welcoming green walls and a large bed covered in comfy pillows.
"Oh gag," Draco commented.
"What?"
"This room is entirely too pleasant," he wrinkled his nose at the distasteful word. "How can anyone put this much cheer and comfort in one room? How the hell am I supposed to sleep in here?"
"The welcoming homeliness is just too overwhelming?" Potter kidded.
"Exactly," Draco sneered, and he wasn't joking.
His host shrugged. "Tough. I'm sure you'll learn to live with it."
"Nope," Draco said smugly.
"Nope? You mean you're leaving?" Draco resented the hopefulness in Potter's tone.
"As much as I'd love to leave you to your dreary little life, that's not what I meant. My first paycheck is going toward some serious remodeling."
Draco enjoyed the look of alarm rising in the Gryffindor's eyes. "I'm not gonna let you remodel any part of my house! Live with the room the way it is!"
"I'll live with it after it's had a paintjob and a new bedcover. Some new curtains as well," he mused. "And maybe a few new paintings to replace that hideous scenic print hanging on the wall."
"No way."
"It's my room. What will people think if I have an ivy pattern on my comforter?"
With displeasure Draco noted a certain gleam of mischievous insight in the eyes of his host.
"No one will know about the ivy on your comforter," Potter said slowly, as thought carefully weighing the wisdom of his words. "Because this isn't your room."
"Going to make me sleep on the couch are you, Potter? I would have thought you Gryffindors had more consideration for their guests than that."
"No, Malfoy, you can sleep in here. But you're supposed to be my boyfriend, remember? So everyone will have to think you're sleeping in my bedroom. And it wouldn't make sense for you to change the guest room if you're not living in it, so I guess it'll have to stay the way it is." Potter's smug look infuriated Draco.
"Eww, Potter! You want me to pretend I'm sleeping with you? How perverted." Draco's disgust was almost enough to make him sick.
"Your idea," Potter said simply. "What did you suppose people would think when you said you were my boyfriend living with me? Obviously we have to pretend we sleep together."
Crap. Draco hadn't considered this particular repercussion of his actions. He'd have to let people think he was getting nasty with the goody-goody Gryffindor.
"Fine. Go away and let me unpack," he snapped, and his victorious host quietly left the room.
The next morning Harry woke with a frown as he remembered his uninvited guest. Scowling grumpily, he stumbled into the kitchen where he was greeted by the infuriatingly cheerful face of Draco Malfoy.
"Morning, Sweetie," Malfoy drawled cheerfully.
"Don't call me that," Harry snapped.
"You're right. It's too overused. A Malfoy would really be more original than that. So I was actually thinking – Cuddle Butt. A refreshingly unusual pet name."
"Not on your life," Harry ordered swiftly as he saw a malicious leer cover his guest's face.
"But, Cuddle Butt, I just want everyone to know that you're my cuddly wuddly."
"Malfoy, I am not in the mood for this. Now I don't want to hear any of that leave your mouth ever again."
"Alright," Malfoy said much too agreeably.
"Alright?" Harry knew something suspicious was happening.
"Yeah, alright. I have a few other options I've been thinking of," Malfoy said lazily as he refilled his cup with fresh brewed tea.
Harry silently predicted that he wouldn't be liking any of Malfoy's other options better.
"Nuzzly Bear?"
"No."
"Rosy Cheeks?"
"What? No."
"Nutty Butty?"
"Malfoy!"
"Is that a yes?"
"Go to hell."
Malfoy contemplatively returned to his tea and toast. Harry filled with relief when he saw Malfoy was not offering any more pet names.
"Ronny will be by in about ten minutes," Harry commented as he smeared cream cheese over a bagel.
"And who is Ronny?"
"One of the boys from the store. He lives in this building, and we carpool together."
"Shutgun," Malfoy said quickly, and Harry was surprised the wizard knew the muggle term for being the front seat passenger.
"Fine," he muttered grumpily. "Just don't distract me while I'm driving."
"Sugar Buns! I would never do something so dangerous," Malfoy claimed with mock horror.
Harry rejected the unpleasant moniker with a firm shake of the head.
"Rooster Roo?"
"Now that's just stupid."
"Muffin Top? Skunky Pooh? Sugar Drop? Kissy Priss? Tiger Tike?"
"Enough with the pet names!"
Malfoy shrugged, and further discussion was interruption by a knock on the door.
"Come on," Harry snapped, not waiting to see if Malfoy was trailing behind him as he went to open the door.
"Ready to go?" a sandy haired boy inquired, pushing his straight floppy locks off his tiny forehead.
"Munchy Bunchy! Wait for me!" a voice called as Malfoy appeared behind Harry.
Ronny smirked in an maddeningly Malfoy-like manner. Well two could play at this game.
"Nuzzly Bear!" Harry exclaimed, borrowing a nickname Malfoy had suggested earlier. "Of course I wouldn't forget you, my little Schnookie Cookie."
Malfoy pulled a face at Harry's creation of Schnookie Cookie.
"Like the names you made up were any better," Harry muttered to him as they slipped out the door.
"You guys are a really cute couple," Ronny commented cheerfully, falling back to walk with them. "I don't know why Harry ever wanted to deny he was dating such an attractive man."
Harry watched the Slytherin beam delightedly as he grandly offered Ronny a gracious "Why thank you."
"I mean it, Drake. Harry's lucky to have you. He needs someone to put the fun back in his life.
"Oh I fully intend to infuse his life with all the fun he can handle."
Harry didn't quite understand the implications behind that comment, but Malfoy and Ronny grinned as though sharing a private joke.
Great. My friends love Malfoy. I'm trapped in hell.
Malfoy leaned over and whispered conspiratorially into Ronny's ear. The two of them burst into delighted peals of laughter.
It took all of Harry's inner strength not to simply kill them both.