Why Knives Went Nuts
Chapter 1: The Book
Knives was quietly sitting in the recreation room, alone. He thought quietly to himself, "Ah, so calm, so peaceful… watch, Vash will come in and spoil this brief respite."
Sure enough, Vash showed up, swinging down from a tree branch above Knives, "Hey-o bro!"
"Stop doing that Vash! It really gets on my nerves!" Knives yelled.
"Hey-o bro! Hey-o bro! Hey-o bro!" Vash laughed.
"Shut up already Vash! It really is annoying!" Knives made another attempt at silencing his twin.
"Hey, Knives, can you read this to me?" Vash asked, shoving a book in Knives' face.
"What is it?" he demanded with great difficultly seeing as the book was mashing in his cheek.
"It's a book called Madeline. Rem gave it to me. She said she read these books when she was a little girl," Vash replied.
"Well you're not a little girl and neither am I so take that book out of my face and give it back to Rem!" Knives snapped.
"But Knives…" Vash pouted.
"If you want to read it, read it yourself!" Knives ordered.
"But Knives! You know I can't read!" Vash protested. "Please?" he pouted and gave the most pathetic puppy-dog eyes ever.
"Fine!" Knives snatched the book from his sibling. He opened up to the first page and his view was instantly blocked when Vash went under his arm and then up in the center to look at the pretty picture. "I can't read with your head in the way!"
"Sorry!" Vash ducked out and decided to look over Knives' shoulder at the pretty pictures.
"In a little house in Paris all covered in vines," Knives began, "lived twelve little girls in two straight lines." Knives paused and read a few more lines silently. What he read scared him. Did Rem actually expect an intelligent boy like him to read this crap? "Forget it! I'm not reading any more!"
"Knives!"
"You can't make me! This book is poorly written, girly, and fruity! I refuse to read it!"
Vash blinked and then took the book from Knives. He stared at it, and he stared at it, and he stared at it. Then, he licked it. "It's not fruity Knives. It tastes just like any other book!"
"How do you know what books taste like!?" Knives asked, wide-eyed.
"Remember that novel you lost… the one called 'War and Peace'?"
"Yeah. I never found that book…."
"That's because I got hungry and there was nothing to eat and so…" Vash trailed off.
"You ate it!? Not only is that definitely unhealthy but why did you have to eat it when I only had two pages left!?" Knives growled in frustration. "If you had told me you were hungry I could have given you some actual food to eat!"
"I'm hungry," Vash said, oblivious to everything his brother had just said. "Want a donut?" Vash produced a box of donuts.
"No!" Knives yelled. "Do you know how many calories are in those things!?"
"Wut ar' calorief?" (What are calories?) Vash asked, mouth full of donuts.
"Never mind…" Knives sighed.
"Will you please, please, please read me the book!?" Vash began begging his brother again. "Please Knives! PLEASE!"
"GOD! CAN'T YOU TAKE 'NO' FOR AN ANSWER!?" Knives yelled.
"Please please please please please please please please please please please pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssssssssseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
"No no no no no no no no no no no nooooooooooooooooooooooo!"
"Yes!"
"No!"
"YES!"
"NO!"
"YES!"
"NO, DAMMIT!" Knives yelled at the top of his lungs.
"Ooh… Knives… you said one of da no-no words…" Vash said. "I'm telling Rem!"
"No Vash! Please don't!" Knives begged. "I-I-I'll…"
"You'll…?"
"I'll readyouthestupidfruitybookifyoudon'ttell," Knives muttered.
"What did you say Knives?" Vash asked.
"I said I'll read you the book if you don't say a word to Rem or anyone!"
"Not a word," Vash agreed.
"Good now give me the stupid book," Knives snatched the book again. He opened it up, and, crying, began reading, "In a little house in Paris, all covered in vines, lived twelve little girls in two straight lines…"
"God! Why the hell am I reading this stupid book!?" Knives thought.
This was the beginning of the end for Knives' sanity….