Chapter 29

Rain fell, large drops that plopped to the ground, sending up spray, turning the earth around them to mud. The Golden City, its walls and turrets collapsed and wrapped in thick vines, stood above them like an unforgiving sentinel. They couldn't bring themselves to look it at. If they did that, they'd have to acknowledge its presence, have to come to terms with the reality that faced them.

Harlequin and Malon slept, turning fitfully this way and that, makeshift sheets twisted around their torsos. Lightning snatched away the darkness for a precious few heartbeats, then the angry groan of thunder followed. The wind ran through their little clearing, making their supplies ring and tremble, and pulling at their fire, the flames dancing and billowing.

Sitting on the trunk of a fallen tree, moss and lichen a blanket over dead wood, Link watched, his heart bubbling. He couldn't think. He couldn't focus. So much preyed on his mind that he thought that even sleep would provide no release, that the thorns of his musings would pierce even his dreams. His squadron were gone, each member bar himself a cold corpse. It was almost unthinkable. Two of them had died at his hands, and the last, only a day or so ago, the memory fresh in his mind, had been slaughtered by Servion.

Commander Kisho's sacrifice had surprised him. Link hadn't detected one hint of the light that would crack through the darkness at the very end of the Commander's life. People, he mused, could still catch him off-guard, no matter how confident he was in his new-found abilities.

Link wondered why so many people, himself included at one point, gave themselves up to the urge for vengeance. Perhaps it was because the ego, unable to see beyond its own self, set itself up as a 'god'; that is, it thought of itself as the center of the universe and so, whenever it was slighted or didn't get what it wanted, it found the situation unbearable, and hence, in order to restore what it thought was 'balance,' it struck back at those that had dared to confront it. It just couldn't accept that it only made up a tiny part of the world, and its concerns and individual needs were somewhat petty in the wider scheme of things. Perhaps.

How had he come to this? It had only been a few short months ago when he was secure in his world. Mystral, taking the Test - everything had been so neat and organised. And now, here he was, having seen and experienced things that were beyond his wildest imaginations. Glancing up at the City, he knew, too, that his eyes had rested upon more than his fair share of the world outside.

Ahead of him Zelda worked, her eyes cast down as she tried to tie down their belongings. He'd offered to help more than once, but she'd warned him off with sharp words. He watched her, though he knew it was improper behaviour, and something warm tingled deep within his chest. Her movements were smooth and lithe, her every motion imbued with sophisticated grace. She was definitely royalty. Her hair fluttered as the rain came down, her face now covered with a smooth sheen that gave her an innocent look. And yet she seemed so very tired. Link's heart tightened.

"Stop looking at me."

A smile came to his lips, though she hadn't yet turned to face him, still busying herself with her task. Idly, Link noted that she'd tied the same rope four times over now. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sure." This time there was a smile in her voice, if not on her face.

He tried to reach out with his heart, to push and find a shared connection, though, curiously, he found the way blocked. Link had expected her soul to be a crystalline mirror in its purity, reflecting only goodness. He was somewhat disturbed to find the shadows lurking there, dormant beneath the surface of her soul.

The rain continued to fall, tapping against the trees and the ground with a steady rhythm. Link wrapped his cloak around his shoulders, then realised that Zelda herself was unprotected. "Are you cold?"

"No," she replied. This time she faced him, a fleeting glance, before turning away.

He began to stand. "Are you sure? You can take my -"

"Sit down, Link." Her voice was strong and steady. "I'm not cold." Again, another glance. "Thank you."

He gestured at the two bandits. "They're asleep."

"I know." There was no mockery in her tone. "Poor Malon. She's been dragged into something she doesn't even understand."

Peering through the rain, Link looked at the banditwoman with a detached sense of curiosity. "Didn't she kidnap you?"

"Yes." Zelda was grinning now, and this, in turn, made Link smile.

"And...didn't she want to sell you to slavers?"

A giggle escaped Zelda's lips. It made Link's heart leap. "That's true, too." Rolling up her sleeve, Link saw, with dismay, the tattoo of a bondswoman burnt into her skin. "She almost succeeded."

Icy self control extinguished the fire of anger that had just then threatened to engulf him. "So, why do you feel sorry for her and why are you her friend?" He didn't really care about the answer. To him, all it told him was that Zelda was far purer than he could ever imagine. There was no vengeance in her, no taint of evil.

"I don't know, really," she replied. "We'd just been through a lot together." She gazed at the banditwoman for a moment longer. "And your friend? Harlequin Lack?"

"Jack."

"Jack," she repeated slowly, as though testing out the new name. "Who is he?"

"I picked him up at the Bandit Camp, too," he replied. "He's a good friend."

"Unlike me," Zelda teased.

Link's tone took an extra edge of seriousness. "You are a good friend." He paused, considering. "Actually, you're probably my best friend."

"Oh, stop," she replied with a snort. "I've never done anything for you."

"You don't know," he said quickly. "You don't know how much you did."

Zelda shook her head. "You only met me a few months ago, and now I'm your best friend." Looking a little uncomfortable, she found her attention drawn back to her tasks once more. A barrier of silence rose between them.

Link opened his mouth to speak, thought better of it, then again changed his mind. "I wanted us to talk."

"What about?" She had her back to him now, her head low as though she were scanning the ground.

"Just."

A sigh escaped her lips. Confusion whirled slowly around Link's mind. When had this wall been erected between them? He decided he'd better go straight to the point. "You were right." A pause. "You were right about everything."

Zelda turned to him, a pained expression on her face. Her eyes were large, and within them swam sadness. "I don't understand."

Taking in a deep breath, Link steadied himself. "Right about everything." Seeing the puzzled expression on her face, he quoted her words back at her, the words that she'd spoken to him on the rooftops of Hyrule Town. "'Why would you want to kill anything for?" Her forehead creased with more confusion. "I meant...that's what you..." He coughed, clearing his throat. He wasn't making much sense. "You were right. You were right telling me that killing is wrong. You were right telling me that my afflictions were not the worst in the world, that others suffered, too, that I shouldn't be just obsessed with my own worries and problems." He paused to catch his breath. "You said we had to purify our hearts. Your heart is already pure." He smiled, trying to soften his own embarrassment. "It took a while for me to do the same to mine."

He was caught off-guard by her reaction. Pain and guilt washed over Zelda's face, fear igniting in her eyes. Her voice was soft as she spoke. "You believe that now?"

"Thanks to you, yes."

She held his gaze, the rain blurring his vision. "Maybe I was wrong."

"No," Link replied. He wanted to say more, but could think of nothing except a simple: "You weren't."

"You don't know me, Link."

Again, the same old excuse. He wasn't going to accept it this time. "But I want to know you. I want to know everything about you. What makes you happy and what makes you sad, what makes you smile and what makes you laugh. For the first time ever, I truly realise what it means to be alive, and I don't want to let go of that."

He leapt to his feet, startling Zelda in the process. "Listen...just listen." She seemed willing to, though Link noticed that she'd taken a few wary steps back. "I've seen people who would trample over children just to satisfy their sick lusts. By the Pit, I've seen people who use children to satisfy their lusts. I've seen the worst that this world has brought forth...people who worship themselves so much that they don't see anyone else as anything more than pawns to be used. I've seen people who preach righteousness, but practice the worst of deeds." He was almost in front of her now, gazing down at her face. Lightning stained the sky, reflecting in her eyes. "But you..." His voice softened as he gained control of himself. "You believed. You believed in the goodness of everyone. That's all I'd ever wanted to see from anyone." He swallowed, his throat now aching. "Genuine honesty. Genuine goodness. And you, Zelda...you're all that....and brave...and resourceful....and...." He stumbled, grasping to put into words the churning he felt inside. "You shame me so much that I wish I were you." He could feel himself trembling. "And if I couldn't be you, then...then I'd want you in my life till the end...just so...so..." He trailed off, lost.

His throat was raw from his anguished words, his breathing heavy. It was, he knew, the most ridiculous speech he'd made in his life and yet, though he'd probably never repeat the words ever again, even to Zelda, at that moment in time, it felt like the right thing to say. He could even feel a slight heat in his cheeks. Here was Link, trained killer and Boneyard Warrior, and he was blushing!

Zelda , it seemed, saw it, too. "If anyone else had said all that," she said, "I'd have laughed at him. But you..." Her mouth tugged downwards in a sad smile, her eyes filling with tears. And then it all vanished, replaced by something else. Something harder. "Why didn't you tell me you were a Royal Assassin?"

Link almost flinched. Her voice was empty, hollow, but it cut into his heart. His mind tried to form an answer, but everything that came to him sounded trite. He went with the truth instead. "Because you'd hate me."

Anger twisted her features. "So?"

"I didn't want you to hate me." Now his voice was stretched, the emotion thick, but not easy to identify. "Not you." He took another deep breath. "I'd lost my sister. I'd lost my friends. You were the only thing real to me...you made me see my life for what it was, and made me want to be a better person. If not for you, I wouldn't be a Boneyard Warrior now."

The expression on Zelda's face twirled like the spinning of a coin between two fingers. Hate melted into pain, which collapsed into sadness, then sprung into shock. "You're a....?" She shook her head, the anger reasserting itself. "Did you kill any of them?"

"Any of who?"

"Did you kill any of them?"

Finally Link understood. "I didn't kill anyone from your family, Zelda."

"Liar!"

The accusation, jolting him like the sudden crack of a crossbow, pierced his heart. Link thought he would drown from the sadness that now engulfed him. "No." His voice was little higher than a whisper. "I wouldn't lie to you."

Zelda was shaking now, and he longed to reach out for her, but didn't dare to. He could see the conflict playing out on her face, could sense her heart tearing in many different directions. She fixed him with a determined stare. "I want to believe you," she said, her voice pleading.

"Then do so," he replied. "I never chose to be an assassin."

She shook her head in response. "How could you not choose...? You just had to refuse!"

"It's not as simple as that," he said, Mystral's face ghosting into his mind.

"How many people did you kill?"

Again, Link felt his soul crack. She would loathe him forever now. Maybe it was for the best. Maybe it would make what was to come easier. "A few."

He wasn't expecting her next words. "I killed someone, too," she said. "I threw a knife into his heart. His blood..." Her head shook slowly from side to side as though not believing her own words. "His blood...poured out."

The rain intensified as the silence held between them. Now Link knew what the darkness was that he'd sensed. "I'm sure it wasn't your fault," he said softly. "I'm sure you were acting-"

Zelda cut him off with an tortured moan. "No, Link. I could have wounded him. I killed him. I wanted to. I enjoyed it. I remembered who and what you were." Defiance rose in her voice. "I thought you'd approve."

Closing his eyes, Link let the words sink in. Another crime to add to his list.

A trio of heartbeats passed, the drumming of the water the only sound.

"I'm sorry," Zelda said at last. "That wasn't fair."

Link ignored her, choosing instead to prod at his own pain. This had been a disastrous night. Nothing had gone right at all. He pushed with his heart, connecting to hers, searching, searching. He knew he shouldn't, that drilling so deep into her soul was a violation, but he couldn't help it. He had to know. His eyes opened. "You didn't enjoy it," he said finally. Something lifted from his soul. He hadn't realised until then just how much he had been dreading what he'd find in Zelda's heart. "You hated yourself for it."

"You don't know that," she replied. She chewed on the inside of her cheek, her face lost in thought. "I deserve to die, don't I? It's because I'm evil; that's why the One, Unseen has chosen to punish me like this."

"Haven't you been listening to anything I've said?" he replied. "You're not evil."

Zelda threw up her hands in exasperation. "But everybody else is." She shook her head. "No...it's you that were right. You said it yourself - you've seen the horrid things people do. Why should they live when they waste themselves so easily?"

"Because." Link cleared his throat as he tried to arrange his thoughts. "Because everyone has the potential to better themselves, to rise above their own selves. They should be allowed the chance to realise that."

"Even when most don't? Even when they cause so much pain when they fail?"

"Even then." He tried to recall the Teacher's words. "We...you have to be an example. Others will see you as a beacon, and will be drawn to you. All we know is that we're here, all of us, now at this moment. It would be foolish to wipe everyone out because they failed. We have to make do with the world as we find it, and make sure that our own selves are in order."

"You've changed." Grief coated her words. "I wish I'd been there to see it. I think I would have felt so proud."

Unbidden, a smile touched his face, her words bringing warmth to his soul, briefly melting away his distress.

She continued. "You make me want to believe again."

Link sighed. "You do believe. You've just lost faith in..."

"The world?"

"I don't know. You're doubting yourself when you shouldn't."

"I don't want to die, Link." The words came out calmly, no desperation clinging to them, just stated as fact. It was the first time, he knew, that she'd shown any hint of weakness. And yet...there she was, her voice still steady, her back straight.

Hearing no response, she went on. "I'm not a hero. I'm not strong."

Link almost gaped. Why couldn't she see how unlike she was to anyone else he'd ever met? A normal person would have wilted, broken by the burden on their back.

Her eyes wouldn't meet his as she said, "I don't want the world to suffer either...but I don't want to die."

Yet again that night, Link felt his heart cleave in two. He wanted to tell her that she shouldn't give in to the impulses of her ego, that saving other lives was more important than her own, but somehow he couldn't bring himself to do so, the words dying on his lips. It all sounded so hollow now. What if the Teacher had been wrong? What if he himself was wrong? And what did it matter, anyway? He was going to save her, after all.

"Look at me," Zelda continued, as though reading his thoughts. Now, at long last, there was a quiver to her voice. Link didn't want to see it. He didn't want to see her unravel in front of his eyes. "I'm selfish. I'm selfish. I don't want to die so that the world can live. I want to hide away and be me." Tears rolled down her face, her cheeks pinched, her eyes taking on a haunted glaze.

Link found himself clenching and unclenching his fists. "You're not going to die," he whispered.

Zelda laughed, half-maniacal, half-in disdain. "And who's going to stop it from happening?" she spat. "You?"

Deadly certainty entered his voice. "Yes."

They stared at each other, blinking as rain poured down their faces. Lightning and thunder whirled around them.

"You're not going to die," he repeated. "At least not by my hands."

Zelda's mouth twitched, a small smile trying to form on her lips. "Confident."

"It's true."

She speared him with a glare, the intensity of which was almost like a physical blow, her mirth suddenly evaporating as a wild look ignited in her eyes. "Promise me."

His hand fell to the Oath Blade. He took it seriously, especially now that he'd dedicated himself to the One. A broken oath could only lead to the direst of consequences. "I already did."

Her eyes glanced from the blade to his face. "Promise me...please."

Link thought his very being would crumble. He gazed back at her, saw the tightness in her face. It was too much. He didn't want her to suffer, let alone die. "I promise you."

Visibly relaxing, Zelda began to shake. Alarmed, Link ran towards her, but she spun away, shrugging him off. "I don't want to die," she repeated, as though it were a mantra. Their eyes met, and Zelda's voice trailed off into a whisper. "I don't want to die. Is that wrong?"

"No, it's not wrong." He stepped towards her once again, his gaze still fixed on her, noticing how her hair stuck to her face from the rain. The water fell in torrents, soaking them to the skin. Incandescent blue flashes danced in their eyes. Thunder punctured the silence."Smile for me, Zelda."

At first she just stared, and then her eyes dropped to the ground, as though she felt a little bashful but, to Link's delight, a smile did spread across her face. "Who are you..?" she asked.

Link held out his hands in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Who are you that you have such an effect on me?"

For a reason he couldn't quite understand, Link found his soul soaring at those words. "I have an effect on you?"

Still grinning, Zelda nodded. "I'm smiling, aren't I?"

Heartened by the exchange, Link's hands curled into fists, determination stiffening his soul. "When this is all over, you'll still be smiling."

A slight frown flickered over Zelda's features, then vanished, though her eyes seemed to turn inward for a moment. "I hope so, Link," she said softly. "I hope so." She looked up again. "So who are you, Link...you with no family name...assassin...Boneyard Warrior...who are you?"

He smiled back. "Your friend. Your protector." He saw her open her mouth to speak, no doubt wanting to protest, but she stopped, a sad expression ghosting across her face. "Maybe even one day...your best friend."

She turned towards the City of Gold, silent, though Link could see her swallowing; she was clearly fighting back some sort of emotion. "Maybe."

Link walked up beside her, also turning to face the City. They stood there together, the storm swirling around them, lost in their own thoughts. Glancing at each other once more, another smile lining their faces, their eyes locked, each seeing the understanding and trust in the other. Link looked back at the City. "This is the end."