**a/n- on a personal note that last chapter SUCKED but I am going thru with
the plans to bring my 4 (count 'em 4!) fans [and holding] the much
anticipated 'tig episode'..please excuse me if I get carried away and go on
about this for weeks with mindless tig after tag for 2 or 3
chapters..anyway, this is what happens between the time that Pip lands on
Sam and the time they enter a fools paradice
A bad case of the runs
Frodo Baggins had been looking forward to visiting Merry and Pippin's tavern for some time. It was an excellent excuse for getting away from the tourists that stalked him day in and day out. There were even a few girls who now called themselves 'fan girls'. He hadn't asked Sam to come along, but when the Gamgee saw his friend leaving Bag End with a backpack and a walking stick, he pulled his speech about Gandalf telling him to never leave him.
They had left Bag End earlier than expected, about an hour before second breakfast. They hadn't sent word to their friends that they were coming early, but they were sure the two marauders wouldn't mind.
They set off towards the East Farthing, going south of the East Road to avoid tourists. Once they reached the border of Buckland, the two settled down for a rather late luncheon that boiled over into a short afternoon tea.
Frodo began to feel sick and tried to releave himself only to find that he was constipated. Sam pulled out a pouch that contained a laxative that Gandalf had given him during their quest. He gave the pouch to Frodo and told him to put only two pinches of the powder in his tea. Then they packed up and set off for the tavern.
Their path turned north when they came to River Brandywine, which they followed until they came to Bucklebury Ferry, which they passed by in silence. The thought of the Black Riders came back into mind. They moved on.
"What's that Mr. Frodo?" Sam said. Frodo lifted his eyes from his feet and looked up to see the most beautiful sight in all the Shire. They had wandered onto a path that further ahead was shaded by trees so magnificent that even elves would stare in awe. (*must I explain what the trees look like again? It will save you time and eyesight if I don't*)
As they entered the grove-lined path, they looked up in amazement, paying no attention to a hobbit playing with an acorn until too late Sam saw him fall from his branch.
"EIIIIIIIIIIIIAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
Sam managed to pull Frodo to the ground before the screaming hobbit hit him with full force. He was dazed and confused for a minute as the figure who fell on him stood up on his back and greeted them.
"Frodo! You're early! Where's good ol' Sam?"
It was Pippin. Not only was his strong Took accent a dead giveaway, but no one else was stupid enough to land on someone, stand on their back, and ask where they are.
"Here," Sam grunted with what little breath he had. Pippin jumped a little in surprise and hopped off him, and helped him get back to his feet.
"Sorry about that Sam! But thanks for being there for me!" Pippin said with a wink.
"Trust a Took!" Sam said, dusting himself of dirt and grass and picking up his backpack. "Where are Merry and Legolas?"
"Oh inside! Come on! Follow me!"
"Like we have a choice..." Sam said under his breath. It was then that Sam realized that Frodo hadn't said a word since before Pippin fell from the tree. He turned around to see a wide eyed Mr. Frodo, gasping for breath.
"Mr. Frodo? Frodo! What's wrong?!" Sam yelled, shaking Frodo. Pippin turned and ran over to see what was wrong.
"Frodo? Did you eat some bad mushrooms or something?" Pippin said. Frodo just gasped again, and his eyes were beginning to tear up.
"Oh wait a minute. Mr. Frodo, how many pinches of Gandalf's laxative did you put in your tea this afternoon?" Sam asked.
Frodo swayed over to a tree and held up a hand, indicating five fingers.
"FIVE? Crickey Mr. Frodo, don't you know that that will give you the runs for days?"
Frodo's eye widened even more as he grabbed his rear end and ran around the tree.
"So how many days to you think he'll have the shits?" Pippin asked.
"Well that's a little insensitive. But who cares. I'd say three or four," Sam said.
"Three or four?! The taverns going to have to be closed due to a bad case of the runs? No way, Frodo's sleeping OUTSIDE!" Pippin said, crossing his arms as if it was final.
The sound of Frodo 'relieving' himself was audible, and the smell was smellable. Sam and Pippin held their noses and walked away a few steps. They were far enough away that Frodo's groans were just out of earshot.
"So anyway, how's Bag End?" Pippin asked Sam.
"Too many damn tourists. Never get a moments sleep! Rosie and I have it hard enough with little hobbits running around! I wish she could come too and bring the little ones, but she has to tend to the Green Dragon," Sam said.
"Sorry to hear it," Pippin said, a little envious that more people went to the Green Dragon than Fool's Paradise, but it was for the better. They didn't want to be famous. Pippin lowered his voice and asked Sam, "You haven't told him about tig yet have you?"
"Not at all. Have you?"
"Nope. Neither have Merry or Legolas to my knowledge."
"Legolas knows?! How could you!" Sam almost yelled, quieting himself to a whisper.
"We had to! Legolas was going crazy and pouring out perfectly good ale and using us for target practice until we told him!" Pippin said, waving his arms about in exasperation.
"Well fine...but no more!" Sam said, shaking a finger at Pip.
"Of course. Cross m'heart." Pippin said laying a hand on his chest.
Frodo was finished for now, and was prepared to walk with Sam and Pippin up the path to the tavern.
"Ready Mr. Frodo?" Sam asked.
"I think so Sam. So long as I don't get the shits again before we get there," Frodo said with smile.
"Great. Let's go," Pippin said. They continued up the path until they came to a bend. There Pippin stopped them and posed dramatically.
"Now, what you are about to witness is a thing to great and beautiful to describe! Its stones come from Moria!" Pippin said, pointing to the west. "Its trees come from Mirkwood and Lothlorien!" Pippin pointed his other arm over toward the East, even though Mirkwood and Lorhlorien too were to the west. "And the cellar is the largest in the Shire!" Pippin made a sort of rainbow with his arms. Sam and Frodo were not amused.
"Shut up Pippin," they said simultainiously.
Pippin looked dejected and with a droning voice said, "Welcome to Fool's Paradise."
Frodo and Sam rounded the bend and laid their eyes on the tavern. Pippin had reason to gloat. Its masonry was like that in Moria to a much smaller scale, and yet as they walked up the path toward the entrance, they could see through the windows the wooden Elvin craftsmanship blended with that of a regular tavern on the inside.
Pippin opened the door for his friends, and they entered to find Legolas and Merry greeting them in a Fool's Paradise.
**hope you like this better than the last one! Tig is coming up next chapter PROMISE!!!**
love and peace
Court
A bad case of the runs
Frodo Baggins had been looking forward to visiting Merry and Pippin's tavern for some time. It was an excellent excuse for getting away from the tourists that stalked him day in and day out. There were even a few girls who now called themselves 'fan girls'. He hadn't asked Sam to come along, but when the Gamgee saw his friend leaving Bag End with a backpack and a walking stick, he pulled his speech about Gandalf telling him to never leave him.
They had left Bag End earlier than expected, about an hour before second breakfast. They hadn't sent word to their friends that they were coming early, but they were sure the two marauders wouldn't mind.
They set off towards the East Farthing, going south of the East Road to avoid tourists. Once they reached the border of Buckland, the two settled down for a rather late luncheon that boiled over into a short afternoon tea.
Frodo began to feel sick and tried to releave himself only to find that he was constipated. Sam pulled out a pouch that contained a laxative that Gandalf had given him during their quest. He gave the pouch to Frodo and told him to put only two pinches of the powder in his tea. Then they packed up and set off for the tavern.
Their path turned north when they came to River Brandywine, which they followed until they came to Bucklebury Ferry, which they passed by in silence. The thought of the Black Riders came back into mind. They moved on.
"What's that Mr. Frodo?" Sam said. Frodo lifted his eyes from his feet and looked up to see the most beautiful sight in all the Shire. They had wandered onto a path that further ahead was shaded by trees so magnificent that even elves would stare in awe. (*must I explain what the trees look like again? It will save you time and eyesight if I don't*)
As they entered the grove-lined path, they looked up in amazement, paying no attention to a hobbit playing with an acorn until too late Sam saw him fall from his branch.
"EIIIIIIIIIIIIAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
Sam managed to pull Frodo to the ground before the screaming hobbit hit him with full force. He was dazed and confused for a minute as the figure who fell on him stood up on his back and greeted them.
"Frodo! You're early! Where's good ol' Sam?"
It was Pippin. Not only was his strong Took accent a dead giveaway, but no one else was stupid enough to land on someone, stand on their back, and ask where they are.
"Here," Sam grunted with what little breath he had. Pippin jumped a little in surprise and hopped off him, and helped him get back to his feet.
"Sorry about that Sam! But thanks for being there for me!" Pippin said with a wink.
"Trust a Took!" Sam said, dusting himself of dirt and grass and picking up his backpack. "Where are Merry and Legolas?"
"Oh inside! Come on! Follow me!"
"Like we have a choice..." Sam said under his breath. It was then that Sam realized that Frodo hadn't said a word since before Pippin fell from the tree. He turned around to see a wide eyed Mr. Frodo, gasping for breath.
"Mr. Frodo? Frodo! What's wrong?!" Sam yelled, shaking Frodo. Pippin turned and ran over to see what was wrong.
"Frodo? Did you eat some bad mushrooms or something?" Pippin said. Frodo just gasped again, and his eyes were beginning to tear up.
"Oh wait a minute. Mr. Frodo, how many pinches of Gandalf's laxative did you put in your tea this afternoon?" Sam asked.
Frodo swayed over to a tree and held up a hand, indicating five fingers.
"FIVE? Crickey Mr. Frodo, don't you know that that will give you the runs for days?"
Frodo's eye widened even more as he grabbed his rear end and ran around the tree.
"So how many days to you think he'll have the shits?" Pippin asked.
"Well that's a little insensitive. But who cares. I'd say three or four," Sam said.
"Three or four?! The taverns going to have to be closed due to a bad case of the runs? No way, Frodo's sleeping OUTSIDE!" Pippin said, crossing his arms as if it was final.
The sound of Frodo 'relieving' himself was audible, and the smell was smellable. Sam and Pippin held their noses and walked away a few steps. They were far enough away that Frodo's groans were just out of earshot.
"So anyway, how's Bag End?" Pippin asked Sam.
"Too many damn tourists. Never get a moments sleep! Rosie and I have it hard enough with little hobbits running around! I wish she could come too and bring the little ones, but she has to tend to the Green Dragon," Sam said.
"Sorry to hear it," Pippin said, a little envious that more people went to the Green Dragon than Fool's Paradise, but it was for the better. They didn't want to be famous. Pippin lowered his voice and asked Sam, "You haven't told him about tig yet have you?"
"Not at all. Have you?"
"Nope. Neither have Merry or Legolas to my knowledge."
"Legolas knows?! How could you!" Sam almost yelled, quieting himself to a whisper.
"We had to! Legolas was going crazy and pouring out perfectly good ale and using us for target practice until we told him!" Pippin said, waving his arms about in exasperation.
"Well fine...but no more!" Sam said, shaking a finger at Pip.
"Of course. Cross m'heart." Pippin said laying a hand on his chest.
Frodo was finished for now, and was prepared to walk with Sam and Pippin up the path to the tavern.
"Ready Mr. Frodo?" Sam asked.
"I think so Sam. So long as I don't get the shits again before we get there," Frodo said with smile.
"Great. Let's go," Pippin said. They continued up the path until they came to a bend. There Pippin stopped them and posed dramatically.
"Now, what you are about to witness is a thing to great and beautiful to describe! Its stones come from Moria!" Pippin said, pointing to the west. "Its trees come from Mirkwood and Lothlorien!" Pippin pointed his other arm over toward the East, even though Mirkwood and Lorhlorien too were to the west. "And the cellar is the largest in the Shire!" Pippin made a sort of rainbow with his arms. Sam and Frodo were not amused.
"Shut up Pippin," they said simultainiously.
Pippin looked dejected and with a droning voice said, "Welcome to Fool's Paradise."
Frodo and Sam rounded the bend and laid their eyes on the tavern. Pippin had reason to gloat. Its masonry was like that in Moria to a much smaller scale, and yet as they walked up the path toward the entrance, they could see through the windows the wooden Elvin craftsmanship blended with that of a regular tavern on the inside.
Pippin opened the door for his friends, and they entered to find Legolas and Merry greeting them in a Fool's Paradise.
**hope you like this better than the last one! Tig is coming up next chapter PROMISE!!!**
love and peace
Court