A/N: We finally finished it! We finally finished it!!!
Kathrine: I really like this chapter.
JC: Yeah, 'cause you wrote A LOT of it.
Kathrine: I know.
JC: Well, we know yall are ready ta kill us because this probably wasn't the update yall wanted.
Kathrine: But this one has been coming for a LONG while.
JC: Well we hope that we made it clear on which 'plane' was which 'cause they do some jumpin'.
Kathrine: Yeah, now we hope yall enjoy. Sorry, it took so long to get out.
Disclaimer: Been there. Said that.
Warnings: Dark themes, Seiji-torture, Anubis-angst, lotsa drama.
/ BOLD/ = Anubis' Mind
/ITALICIZED/ = Spiritual Plane
Conflictions for the Heart
By Kathrine and JC
Chapter 6
He stared out at the plain he stood on, the trees and grass beautiful and luscious flower aromas floating about him. He knew they were coming, that they would need his services once more. He had almost left, never needing or desiring to return to that place. But he knew something was going to go wrong, a warning appearing as a dead doe before his departure. So he had waited for when they would call upon him, waited until the disaster he could not prevent struck.
He felt the air shift, the wind bringing his guests to that plane. How deep did the troubles go before they decided to come to me for help? He wondered.
That was when the two forms manifested before him, one his former lover and the other his mentor. " Why have you returned?" he asked them. " Has all truly go so wrong that you would need me?"
" I see you knew we would come Shuten," Rajura stared at him.
" Yes I knew, but I do not know what has happened to make you so desperate," the red-haired spirit finally took a chance to gaze upon his former lover. He could see nothing of the Anubis he knew in the other form's eyes. They were black, empty, and yet full of so much unspoken pain.
" What has happened to him?" Shuten questioned.
" A spell he attempted to find his lover went awry and he has been trapped in his mind," Rajura explained.
" Korin is missing?" Shuten's eyes widened slightly. He hadn't realized something such as this would happen. His link to the physical plane had weakened since his talk with the blonde that long month ago. He wasn't able to see it coming.
" You knew?" Rajura raised a brow.
" It was I who brought them together," Shuten stated matter-of-factly. " Now what has happened to Korin?"
" From what I know, he came missing last evening and we have been unable to find him," Rajura explained. " Anubis was able to feel his pain, knew that something terrible was happening to him, but when he tried to link their yoroi to find him…"
" The bond was never completed," Shuten finished for him.
" He's trapped somewhere in his mind, I had to force his spirit to this plane," Rajura sighed. " You have been the only one to reach him when he is in such a state and we need him to find Korin."
" I do not know if I can reach him now," the red-haired man sighed. " Our bond is not as strong as back then, I do not carry an armor and he has found another. But I shall try." He moved from his place to stand in front of Anubis. He reached up a hand to caress an unusually pale cheek.
" Let me in Anubis, allow me to see the part of you that is lost," Shuten requested. He closed his eyes and used what power he still had to touch his former lover's thoughts, to connect with him.
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He found himself in the dark, in a world with no light. / The Light is gone, there is no Light. /
Shuten turned around but saw no one. But who spoke? Anubis?
/ The Light is gone, there is no Light. No meaning left to live./
" Anubis?" he called out. " Where are you?"
/ Searching, must find the Light, need Light./
" But he's not here," Shuten reasoned. " He's somewhere else."
Before he could anticipate it, a hand was grasping his throat tight. He watched as the darkness parted slightly to reveal a man who no longer seemed like one. His midnight/blue hair was long and shaggy, his eyes black and feral, his fangs were bared as if ready to attack.
" You know where Light is?" the person growled. " You took Light, give Light back."
" Anubis, it's me," he reached up a hand to touch the other's face.
" Where is Light?!" the other repeated in an angry manner. He refused Shuten's touch.
" He's in the other world Anubis, remember? He's in the Nigenkai," Shuten explained as one would to a small child.
" No, not here, can't feel, gone," his eyes seemed to look far away and his grip loosened. Shuten took that moment to back out of his former lover's grip and to watch him.
" You have to find him," Shuten told him. " But to do so, you have to go back."
" No go back," Anubis shook his head. " Light not there, gone, empty."
" But he is there, they need you to find him," Shuten persisted. He remembered this game very well. It was when he had first entered the Youjakai to meet his other warriors. He knew Naaza and Rajura, but he hadn't met Anubis for weeks. He stayed locked away in his chambers, Arago believing him too dangerous to let run free.
But he remembered the day his curiosity got the better of him and he snuck into Anubis' room to meet the man wolf that Naaza had warned him of. He'd almost died that day, but Anubis had let him live, he had spoke of searching for something that he couldn't find. He never understood until days later when he had connected with Anubis' mind.
Days before becoming lost in the mountain wilderness, Anubis had returned home from the war. He found his village burned and family slaughtered. He had mourned and buried every family member but one, his younger brother. He had been but a few years younger than Anubis and the blue-haired boy had never found his body. He left in search of those who destroyed his village and taken his brother, but became trapped in the storms of the mountain winter instead. He'd only been able to survive because a pack of mountain wolves had saved him after being injured during a blizzard.
It had been forcing him to face the truth that Shuten had pulled him from his feral state. He knew now that it would not work as it had done the time before for it was the reality of Korin's absence that was the problem. Shuten knew he would have to convince Anubis that Seiji wasn't as gone as he believed he was.
" What has happened to Seiji, Anubis?" Shuten asked him in a very calm voice.
" Pain, hurt, shame, hatred, gone, he's gone," tears seemed to fall from empty eyes. Shuten could tell that his former lover could still feel emotions, but the sanity and ability to understand was gone. How was he going to be able to communicate with what was left of his sanity when he didn't know how?
" Gone," Anubis whispered once more. " Just…like…you."
" Nani?" the redhead stared at him with widened eyes. " Just like me? Do you know who I am Anubis, do you remember me?"
" Sh-Shuten," the eyes seem to gain back a flicker of understanding before the empty yet pain-filled stare return. " Gone, dead, died, gone. Light gone too. Gone like Shuten. Gone like brother."
The former Oni Masho could finally see something about the blue-haired man's state. He was afraid in a way. Anubis' younger brother had meant so much to him and he had been taken away and never found again. Shuten had left him as well, dying for the greater cause without even thinking of what the grief might do to his lover. And now, Seiji had been taken away from his as well and was enduring who knew what at the hands of his abductor.
Anubis had reverted back because in his feral state he would be able to better handle the reality if he could not find Seiji. If he had truly lost his last hope at true love and happiness he might as well have been the wolf whom never chose another mate after its true mate died, living out the rest of its life alone. The energy drain and severing of his link with Korin had only pushed it to a level where he could do nothing but think of Seiji and finding him. It seemed that by reverting back he only made it worse on himself.
" Anubis, you must listen to me," he reached out again to touch the other's face. The other allowed him to and he traced the centuries-old scar affectionately. " I died for you, please do not feel any pain because of it."
" My fault, all gone, my fault," Anubis repeated as he shook of the hand once again.
" No, not your fault," Shuten insisted. " I chose my own path that day as you chose yours in the end as well. You couldn't stop them from taking your brother, you weren't even there. Korin's disappearance isn't your fault either. You didn't know this would happen and he wouldn't want you to feel guilty over it. Believe me Anubis, none of this is your fault."
" MY FAULT, MY FAULT!!" Anubis didn't seem to understand how it could be otherwise. He was certain he was to blame. Shuten wanted to hit his former lover, but he knew that the best way to win was to fight fire with fire.
" You're right, it is your fault!" he shouted back to him. " You handed your brother over to your enemy's army, you forced me to give up my life, and you handed Korin over to the hands of his kidnapper! It's all your fault!" From the look on Anubis' face, he believed the redhead's false words. Shuten was frustrated and did the only thing he could think of even though before he had chosen against it. He reeled his fist back and punched Anubis so hard that he was stumbling to keep balance.
The look on the blue-haired man's face was one of pure shock and anger. But the anger seemed to dwindle as he saw the sad, loving expression in the other's eyes. He could sense the man was deeply upset with him, but not for the loss of his lover. He was upset because he blamed himself. Why would he care? The animal within him was slowly beginning to regress as his logical mind took over. He was starting to understand things again, like feelings, memories, and what the redhead was talking about.
Shuten? His mind registered the identity of the man before him. It was Shuten, his lover that had died only a few years before in order to save them from their once-master-and-emperor Arago. But how is he here with me? Am I not in my mind? What is going on? It confused him that his deceased lover would come within his mind when he was supposed to be in the realm of the dead. A blank spot in his memory was causing him worry.
Shuten watched as recognition finally set over Anubis' features. His mind is returning to him, he sighed inwardly. Strange how it always takes me hitting him to get things through his thick skull. " Anubis? Do you remember now?" he asked. " Do you know what has happened?"
" Hai…I believe," the swordsman nodded absently. " But why are you here? I know this is my mind, why have you come to reach me here?"
Just as before…the former Masho knew what had happened. The first time that he had brought Anubis from his feral state he had no memory of what he had done during that time. He hadn't even known he had the Yami no Yoroi because it had come to him when he was in said state. He doesn't need to know, he decided.
" It doesn't matter," he replied. " Just know that the Yoroi no Korin was too weak to complete the conversion needed to find Seiji and you were sent here to rest. Rajura called upon me to bring you back so that you could find your lover." He doesn't need to know that he became 'the wolf' again. He thought it was completely gone.
" Seiji, we can't find him!" Anubis was beginning to recall everything from before. " Can you help me, Shuten? Do you know how I can find him? I know something terrible has befallen him and I fear for his life as well as his soul."
" I am sorry my love," the other shook his head in dismay. " I hadn't even known that Korin was in danger, only sense something wrong in the Nigenkai. Rajura told me of his predicament."
The was a pained and disappointed look in Yami's eyes and Shuten wanted nothing more than to make all of his former lover's pain go away. No matter what paths Fate had chose for them, Shuten still loved the blue-haired man with all of his heart. He knew that the other still cared for him even though he had a new lover and had even given Korin his blessing during a dream that fateful night a month before. That's when he remembered something that could indeed help them.
" I know a way that I might reach your lover, but to do so we much leave this place," Shuten told Anubis. " We both must return to the other plane where Rajura is waiting for us."
" Are you sure?" a hopeful look was apparent.
" Even if I cannot find him, I may still be able to see if he is all right," the redhead replied and then extended his hand. " Come, we must go." Yami nodded to him, taking his hand just as they left the world within the swordsman's consciousness.
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Rajura could sense the two former Masho returning to the realm as Shuten's form reappeared before him and Anubis' eyes flashed open, a gasp escaping from his lips. " You did it!" he gave a relieved sigh. " Now we have to return to the realm of the tangible."
" Not yet," Shuten disagreed. " There is still something to be done here."
" Nani?" Rajura asked. " What could there be?"
" Once before I created a link with Korin when I brought him to this world in a dream," he explained. " I might be able to do the same again. If so, I can try to get him to tell us something that can help."
" True, but are you sure it will work?" Rajura questioned. " He closed himself to the other Troopers and even Anubis, how can you reach him?"
" If he is unconscious I can," Shuten told him. " For that is where our link is." He then closed his eyes once more. " Hopefully, he is not awake." Rajura and Anubis watched in silence as their departed comrade faded from the plane once more.
" Good luck," Anubis whispered, an unspoken prayer on his lips.
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" When will they get back here?!" Shu had lost all his patience over ten minutes before his most recent outburst. He couldn't stand not being able to do anything when one of his friends was in trouble. Even if Seiji and they had been distant for quite some time Kongo still considered him one of the best friends he'd ever had and wanted to do anything he could to save him.
" We have to wait," Naaza was getting frustrated with the younger boy. But he kept his harsh words to himself for he knew that he was only worried for his comrade. I know exactly how he feels, his eyes turned back to the ground where Rajura's form sat, hands on the temples of an incoherent Yami Masho. He didn't know if Shuten would be able to bring the blue-haired man back from the brink of insanity like before. Everything was so different now.
" But there has to be something we can do now," Nasuti stated. " We can't just stand here and wait when they might not even be able to contact Shuten. Seiji needs help now!"
Touma agreed with her completely. Seiji wouldn't be able to wait. The man, Caril, had already harmed him, that they knew, but what if he tried to do something worse? And that something could be far far worse. Gods, we have to find him. There was that feeling again, that sense of distress due to something he couldn't, or rather refused, to acknowledge. Seiji could be dead right now and I'm busy second-guessing myself. He felt his heart lurch at the thought. No, Seiji was NOT dead! But he would be if they didn't find him soon.
Ryo wasn't in a much better state than Shu. He was sitting on the ground beside Nasuti, worrying his lip constantly as a means to take his mind off the situation. His was the leader, the one that was supposed to stop these sort of things from happening in the first place. If I had stopped Seiji from pulling away from us, if I had done something, this probably wouldn't have happened. I'm supposed to protect them!
" Ryo," Nasuti touched his shoulder gently, noticing the familiar look of self-deprecation in his eyes. " None of this is your fault. None of you are at fault in this. You all didn't know what was going on inside Seiji's head and definitely didn't know this was going happen. Don't blame yourselves."
The raven-haired boy gave her a small smile, quite out of place considering the current situation. " Thanks Nasti," he gave her a grateful look. She's always there to make us feel better, even during times like this. He couldn't deny that he thought the older girl was beautiful, the way her hair danced in the gentle wind, the way her deep blue/green eyes showed concern though she still kept her cool, and especially the way that her sweet voice lifted his spirits when everything around them was in near turmoil. Yes to him she was one of the most beautiful things he'd ever seen, hidden within sheer modesty.
" Nasuti?" he called to her.
She turned to look at him, giving the younger boy her full attention. " Yes, what is it?"
He was about to speak, to finally tell her how he truly felt, but then he stopped. It was as if something was caught in his throat and wouldn't allow him. Not now, she probably doesn't even feel the same way about me. I can't push that on her now, especially when everyone is so worried about Seiji and Anubis. It would be selfish of me. He shook his head at her and turned away. " Never mind, it's nothing," he stated quickly.
" Oh, all right," he missed the slightly disappointed look in her eyes and she turned to stare at Rajura and Anubis' still forms once again. It's way too bad of timing to tell him how I feel, she thought, saddened. He probably thinks I'm too old for him anyway. Why would he want someone who spends all her trapped in her work and barely even has a real life? Her eyes settled on Anubis. He loves Seiji so much, I can tell. Is this what love brings? All this pain and sadness? What's the point to it if it hurts so much?
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He was blocked. Shuten didn't understand what had gone wrong. He followed the traces of the link he'd created with Korin no Seiji and they'd led him to a door. The door was made of steel, but he could see deep gashes in it, marring the cold perfection. It was as if something had come before him and had tried to get at whatever was behind the barrier, but it hadn't been able to break through.
" I see I'm not the only one here," a unfamiliar voice spoke from behind him. Even though he didn't know the voice, it seemed familiar to him all the same. He spun around and came face to face with something he believed to be human, although the distorted features appeared to be anything but. He couldn't even describe how hideous the face was and yet, couldn't stop staring into its irisless eyes. They were just pure black.
" Who are you?" the redhead demanded. " What are you doing within this boy's mind?"
" My name is of no importance," he replied flippantly. " And I am here because this is my last chance."
" Nani?" Green eyes didn't show the confusion Shuten felt. But he still couldn't help but feel like he had felt this demon, this presence before. It didn't seem as if it had been too long ago either. That's when it hit him.
" You the darkness I felt around Korin a month ago!" he accused
" Why you're the one that that ruined all my beautiful work?" the creature raised a brow that was hairless and disfigured. " But I you're more dead than I am."
" You," Shuten growled. " You were the dark energy that I sensed about Korin when he was on the verge of suicide. Who are you?!"
" I am Shikaisen," he finally answered. " And Korin is mine. I claimed him nearly a year ago and had almost succeeded in tapping into the entirety of his power, until the 'others' interfered. Along with my defeat came the chance that I've waited for. I was able to fuse the last bit of my energy with this boy. Because of this, he believes me as nothing more than his subconscious even though I am far much more."
" Why?" Shuten asked. " Why try to get him to kill himself? He is no good to you dead and that would merely be killing yourself again."
" Oh, I want him far more than dead," Shikaisen stated as if it was obvious. " I want him so far gone that his soul will be lost in the Abyss of the Forsaken."
Shuten's eyes widened at this. The Abyss was where all souls who were thrown away by the powers that be, and even the people themselves, so that they were condemned to be lost within their own personal hell for all eternity. And this demon being was attempting to do such a thing to Korin? Why? What had the blonde done to him that he would seek such a fatal revenge?
" I won't allow you to harm him," Shuten told him with a resolve in his tone that had been lost since he'd come to the world of spirits.
" I don't need to harm him," Shikaisen let out a distasteful cackle that made Shuten wanted to kill the creature again just to stop him from making the horrid sound. " Another has already taken that pleasure for himself. All I have to do is push him over the edge, which will be easy seeing as he is already on the precipice once again."
That's when the world around them shook with a ferocity that almost caused Shuten to actually lose his balance, which should have been impossible seeing as he needed no such thing and gravity did not exist. Then a heart-piercing cry echoed through walls and Shuten knew it had come from behind the steel door. He turned to stare at it with dismay, knowing that it meant Korin was in pain.
" A beautiful sound, isn't it?" Shikaisen asked. " I have always thought his screams sounded so musical. I could listen to them for all eternity."
" Sick bastard," Shuten spat at him. He'd had enough. He had to vanquish this demon before he had a chance to do anymore harm to Korin's mind than what was already being done. He knew that the blonde was in enough pain, he didn't need this monster torturing him from within his own psyche as well. He had to get rid of him and now.
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He let out another scream as the electricity was forced into his already abused body. His captor was enjoying his cries and yet he couldn't stop them from exiting his throat. He'd already lost his dignity to HIM and his pride was destroyed. He twisted in agony as the tazer was placed right against his chest where his heart was. He couldn't even scream then, it felt like he was about to die as his heart skipped at least three beats and his breath caught in his throat.
" So beautiful," he heard his tormentor praise in a husky voice. He couldn't believe watching him writhe in pain was actually turning the other on. But then again, the man was completely deranged and had practically admitted to having done this before so it shouldn't have been so surprising. How anyone could enjoy such things was sickening in and of itself.
" Guess what my pet?" he pulled the tazer away and ran a hand down the blonde's heaving, bloodied, and now scarred chest, tracing the brand he left there. " I called a 'friend' of mine while you were resting. He sounded very interested in you. He just might be joining us for playtime later on."
Oh God no… Seiji wanted to hide within himself but he couldn't. The voice was there, waiting for him to return so that it could eat at what was left of his sanity as it had done only a month before. He was trapped with no way to protect himself. If he gave into his desire for oblivion, the voice would be there to beat down his mind, and if he remained conscious, this man would spend his every waking moment ripping screams and cries from his dying body.
Gods, someone help me, he prayed once again, even though he didn't really believe anyone was listening to his pleas. I can't take anymore. I want to die. Please let me die…
A/N: Good enough for ya? We hope yall don't mind the slight twist. And we just HAD to have Shuten do some fighting.
JC: We're always givin' Seiji little voices in his head and I guess we thought it was time to add more to it.
Kathrine: So review and tell us whatcha think about it.
JC: The next chapter should be out in a month or so. (Grins sheepishly)
Kathrine: We are definitely updating OVoRWwaCT this week. We've already started the new chapter and know exactly how we want it to go.
JC: We're being blackmailed by Shadow of Arashi to work on some our other stories too, so keep the look out.
Kathrine: She knows how much we want the sequel to Love Game! She just HAD to use it against us!
JC: It is for the better good of our fans though. We might actually get around to updating 'Fates of the Clans' if things keep going like this. (Sighs at the probability of THAT happening)
Kathrine: Well, we better get going if yall actually WANT more updates. Ja!