**right, so I guess this is part two of part four of the prank wars...I'm
finally finishing this thing so I can move on and get other stuff done...I
need some ideas soon from people or this shindig will quickly come to a
close...maybe some interesting stuff while happen this summer that I can
write about. I just finished the new harry potter book and seriously cried
when I read who died. Don't examine that last sentence I wrote if you
haven't read the book yet, cos it'll ruin it for you.
Anyway, here we go..
Peregrin Took had a dangerous look in his eye. Meriadoc knew it well, all too well. It was a look not of evil, but of mischief. "Ready Merry?" asked Peregrin. "Of course," replied Meriadoc.
The two hobbits, or rather elves, made their way down the corridor and down the stairs. Merry threw out his arm to stop his friend when he heard a soft pouting coming from the pub. The two elves met eyes, smiled, and listened eagerly.
"How can you do it? I must hand it to hobbits, they put up with a lot...I think I owe you all and apology..."
Like music, Legolas's voice drifted up the stairs into Merry and Pippin's ears. They smiled all the broader, and leaned all the more to listen better in between the pause that Legolas took to blow his nose.
"I mean, are you hobbits always this emotional?" Legolas asked, a string of snot hanging out of his nose.
"Well...er...sometimes, if we get REALLY upset..." started Sam. Frodo was giggling uncontrollably. "Do you have something to say Frodo?" he asked the giggling hobbit, crossing his arms as if talking to a disobedient child.
"Yes," said Frodo before he was again overcome by giggles.
"Well go on and say it then!"
"Sam cried when Bill the pony ate his cabbages!" Frodo burst, curling on the floor in fits of laughter.
"I did not! He...er...stepped on my toe while I was...er... trying to get him away from the garden!" said Sam, with the obviousness of making the story up as he went along. "Honest!" he concluded as Legolas, Gandalf, and Aragorn, who scared everyone in the room with his barking laugh because everyone had forgotten he was there. Legolas wiped away his tears, only to find that fresh ones were falling from laughing so hard.
Merry and Pippin were holding on to each other for dear life so that they didn't fall down the steps from shaking so much in silent laughter.
"Sam! Tell them about the time you couldn't find your favorite hoe and broke down for days!" Frodo roared. Sam was forced to bite his lip from lashing out at Frodo, for the way that his friend had said the word 'hoe' was taken the wrong way by everyone in the tavern in that it meant a prostitute. Immediately, Sam was shaking hands with Aragorn.
"I never knew you had it in ya Sam! Was this before or after you wed Rosie?" the Ranger asked.
"Strider! I've never had a whore in my life! Ever! Yes, I did cry when I lost my hoe..."
The room burst into laughter again.
"AS I WAS SAYING! A hoe, you know, a hoe that you plow with?" Sam tried to explain, throwing his arms up in the air.
"You plowed through your whore? Sam! I'm so proud!" said Legolas, clearly forgetting his saddened stated of being a hobbit. Sam quickly put him in his place.
"I TOLD YOU I DON'T HAVE A WHORE, HALFLING!" he roared, putting certain emphasis on the last word. Legolas shrank into his chair.
"Now, a hoe," Sam began, and the giggles came again, though more suppressed now, "you rake with..."
"You rack with? She had a nice rack?" Frodo burst, and the giggles broke their dams and laughter surged forth.
"You're 'opeless..." said Sam as he quickly chugged the last of his whiskey.
Merry and Pippin's faces were now a dark shade of maroon.
"But Sam! Did you ever find you're 'hoe'?" said Aragorn.
Sam muttered under his breath.
"What's that you say?" asked Legolas.
"He said he found her in the bed with Rosie!" Frodo yelled. Merry and Pippin were tilting...
The tavern was filled with such laughter that the windows shook as a great wave of sounds of disgust preceded it.
"I said that I found it in a bed of roses! Now lay off!" said Sam, clearly on the verge of tears. Aragorn was on the verge of mock-consoling the hobbit before he was interrupted.
BA-BOOM
BA-BOOM
BA-BOOM BOOM
Merry and Pippin's last amount of elfish strength had given way and they had tumbled down the last three stairs, doubled over on the floor in tears. Met with this sight of two fully grown elves, all of the tavern (with the exception of Legolas, who went back to pouting) was silent, not out of shock, but for the fact that they were laughing so hard that they could not breathe.
Legolas, on the other hand, was fuming.
"Meriadoc! Peregrin! You are ELVES for Elrond's sake! Why don't you grow up-" A short bark of laughter came from Aragorn, "and start acting like elves!"
"Because being an elf but acting like a hobbit is so much fun!" said Merry.
"Yes, think of what we can do to you and what you can't do to stop us!" said Pippin, the dangerous look back in his eye as he and Merry got to their feet. "Say, Gandalf, how long does this stuff last?" he asked the wizard as he tore his eyes away from the frozen-in-terror blonde hobbit who was whispering "you wouldn't!"
There was no reply from Gandalf, who was sitting with his back to everyone in the tavern, smoke billowing out from in front of him.
"Gandalf?" Pippin repeated. Aragorn tapped him on the shoulder, but the wizard didn't move. The Ranger tapped him again, but he still didn't move. Finally, Aragorn swung Gandalf around in his chair, and the room gasped.
Gandalf was...well, in no other words to suit it, extremely high. He was squinting, smiling, and giggling with no idea what was going on in the room.
"Great, just when I need to ask you something, you go and get high!" yelled Pippin.
"Well short stuff," said Merry, looking Legolas in the eye, "Seeing as Gandalf can't do a thing to change us back for a while, Pippin and I will give you and Sam, no Frodo because he's drunk, a thirty-second head start."
"Head start on what?" asked Legolas, stomach rumbling.
"To run. Run your ass off, because it's payback time."
Legolas's eyes grew wide, and he looked to Sam for confirmation that this was actually happening. Sam nodded. The two hobbits looked at the two elves, then back to each other, and ran full out to the door.
Pippin put his hands on his hips jovially. "Hahahahahahaha! We've been waiting for this a long time ya kn--"
BOOM
Gandalf had passed out and hit the floor. Aragorn sighed, muttering things under his breath as he heaved the wizard onto a couch by the fire. As he did so, Frodo spotted a note on the counter where Gandalf had been sitting. He picked it up and read it, doubling back over it to make sure he was reading it right after rubbing his eyes vigorously.
Merry and Pippin spotted the Ringbearer's dilemma. "What's up Frodo?" asked Merry.
"Er...nothing," said Frodo as he pocketed the note. Aragorn returned from tending to Gandalf and snatched the note from the hobbit's pocket. Frodo made an attempted to regain it, but Aragorn held him at bay with his palm on the hobbit's head. The color in the Ranger's face faded as he read further down the note.
"Do you think he's serious?" asked Aragorn to Frodo.
"I think so...Gandalf wouldn't joke about something like this..."
"Something like what?" asked Pippin, trying to peer over Aragorn's shoulder.
"Nothing! I mean, nothing Pippin, don't you have some hobbits to torture?" said Aragorn, hastily stashing the note.
"Right!" said Pippin.
"Now where do you think they went?" pondered Merry.
"Hmmmmm..." said Pippin, scratching his chin. As if to answer Merry's question, the two elves heard raised voices coming from the back yard. The elves smiled and exited. Pippin couldn't help but notice that Aragorn and Frodo were pouring over the note again as they left. He shrugged and went on with his hobbit-hunt.
"Now Pippin, where could they be?" said Merry sarcastically.
"Gee, I don't know Merry, maybe in THAT TREE?" said Pippin in the same tone, pointing to the very tree that Sam and Legolas were hiding in. The two elves heard a very faint "Shit" come from the branches.
"Get a ladder," said Merry.
"Who needs a ladder? We're two feet taller Merry! We'll climb!" said Pippin, jumping up and grabbing hold of some of the lower branches. Merry smiled and followed suit.
Meanwhile in the branches, Sam and Legolas were panicking.
"Whaddawedo?" said Legolas breathlessly.
"Well seeing as Merry and Pippin are the ones who always have to do this, I would suggest asking them, but that's obviously not an option," replied Sam. Legolas frowned and looked down at the advancing elves. For the first time in his life, he was actually scared. This was revenge for Merry and Pippin. He was over come by tears again.
"Why...sniff...are you...sniff...h-h-hobbits...so e-e-e-emotional?" Legolas asked Sam, sniffing and crying.
"Because we don't live forever, that's why!" said Sam. "When you're immortal, you get hard and forget what it's like to feel pain. But now really isn't the time to talk about this!"
Merry and Pippin were now twenty feet below them, climbing fast and jeering.
"Awwwww, ickle Legolas go cryie boo boo?" yelled Pippin.
"Gaaaaaaaa! Gaaaaaaaa! Goo goo ga ga! Do you understand that Legolas?" called Merry.
The elves were now inches away from them.
Overcome by fear, Legolas lashed out, striking the closer elf, which was Merry, in the face with his foot. Startled, Merry let go of the branches he was holding onto, but not before he grabbed hold of Legolas.
"AHHHHH!!" screamed Legolas as he fell.
THUD
Merry had taken the full blow of the fall, whereas Legolas had landed softly on top of him. Merry let out a gasp of air before fainting.
"Mmmmmeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyy!" cried Pippin as he grabbed Sam's ankle and jumped from the tree. He landed softly and ran over to his fallen friend, hobbit still in hand.
"Merry, wake up, wake up!" said Pippin, slapping Merry's bloody face. Legolas stood in shock.
"Is he...is he dead?" asked Legolas. Pippin had his ear to his friend's heart. "He's alive..." said Pippin. Legolas breathed a sigh of relief that was cut short by Pippin's tackle. Poor Sam, he was dragged along in the rumble.
"But you won't be for long!" snarled Pippin. Legolas and Sam wimpered. Pippin beat the two hobbits over the head, much like the good fairy did to little bunny Foo Foo. The two were knocked senseless. They had no recollection of what Pippin did to them next.
First, he found a length of rope. Then, he bound the two hobbits by their hands and knees. He threw the two over his shoulders and proceeded to a mud ditch behind the tavern.
PLOP
Pippin threw the two hobbits into the very center of the ditch, which was easily fifty feet in diameter. After he wiped his hands on his pants, the sun came out from behind the murky clouds in dazzling array. The mud that the unconscious Legolas and Sam were lying in began to dry rapidly. Seeing that his work was done, he quickly ran over to the limp elf Merry.
"Merry!" he whispered. Merry didn't move. "Merry please, wake up! Please..." Pippin said, pounding a fist lightly on his friend's chest, fighting tears. Merry was having a tough time keeping a straight face. He couldn't hold it any longer.
"BAAAAA!" he shouted.
"EEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Pippin shrieked as he leaped back in shock.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Merry curled into a ball on the ground.
"You..were FAKING? You bastard! I'll kill ya!" shouted Pippin as he put his friend in a half nelson.
"Okay! Okay! I'm sorry, but it was great! You should have seen the look on your face!" Merry said. Pippin let go of his friend, and laughed in spite of himself.
"Yeah, that was a pretty good one, Mer. You got me good," admitted Pippin.
"I know," smiled Merry. "So what are you planning to do with those two?" Merry jerked a thumb over his shoulder, pointing to the two hobbits that were now trapped in the hard mud.
"Leave 'em," said Pippin.
"And then what?" asked Merry.
"Haven't gotten that far yet," said Pippin.
"Sounds good, let's get an ale," said Merry.
"I'll drink to that!"
The two made their way inside, to find that Aragorn and Frodo were still discussing the note that Frodo had found in the counter.
"Alright, enough with this damn letter, let me see it!" said Merry, grabbing for the paper in Aragorn's hands.
"No!" yelled Aragorn.
"Yes!" shouted the two elves, who were more than a match for Aragorn, who was putting up a good fight.
"NO!" he yelled again.
"YES!"
"NO---AHAHAHHAHAHAHA!" Pippin had come from behind Aragorn and tickled him under his arms, unwillingly letting go of the note. As he read it, Merry's face grew pale.
"Oh, what is that bloody letter about?" asked Pippin, snatching the letter out of his friend's stone hands. His eyes widened.
It read:
Sorry to leave you on your own like this, but for some reason I really felt like getting high today. I am afraid that I don't have any of the reversing powder to reverse the changes that were put on Merry, Pippin, and Legolas. Either they choose to remain the way they are until the next full moon, which would cause them to change back naturally, but painfully in the fact that knowing that keeping the powder in them for so long would make them unable to eat for the rest of their natural lives, or they have the option to seek Elrond's help. I know that he has a nice stash of anti- hobbit and elf powders on hand, so it will be no trouble at all to go to him. Knowing that the hobbits, which are now elves, would much rather seek Elrond's help than never eat again, I suggest that they leave tonight to get there within ten days on foot. As another option, you could find a trusty eagle to relay the message to Elrond. That way would be much quicker, but I leave it to you! The full moon is in two weeks, so hurry along!
Pippin dropped the letter. His eyes met Merry's.
"No food?"
"No ale?"
"AHHHHHH!" the two yelled in unison.
"We have to get Elrond here quick!" said Frodo. Aragorn was already scribbling a letter, knowing the seriousness of the matter.
"But where are we going to get an eagle?" said Merry. "Pip, do you have any ideas? Pip? Pip!"
Pippin was rocking silently, muttering to himself, "Not Elrond, not Elrond, not Elrond..." Merry ignored him.
"May I be of some service?" came a noble voice from an open window. Everyone in the tavern turned to look in shock at the eagle that was perched there.
"How..." started Aragorn.
"Do not ask questions. This is a story. Everything always goes the right way, there is always a happy ending, and people, or rather beasts, like me always turn up at the right time to save the day. A typical story," said the eagle tonelessly. The tavern stared. "Well are you going to give me the letter or not?"
Aragorn jumped and got out of his seat as the eagle snapped at him. He tied the letter around his leg and stepped away.
"Elrond will be here in about twenty minutes, so keep your pants on until then..." said the eagle as he soared away from the window towards Rivendell. Pippin resumed his rocking, but Merry slapped him on the back of the head.
"Why are you so afraid of him?" said Merry.
"His eyes...his eyes!" said Pippin.
"What's so bad about his eyes?"
"He looks at me evil!"
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"He's in Zion!"
"What?!"
"Tell Neo! He's in Zion!"
"Are you mad?!"
"Neo! NEO!"
"Shut up!" the tavern yelled.
"But he's in Zion!" Pippin whimpered.
"Actually, he's right here Master Pippin."
The tavern turned, and surely enough, Elrond was standing in the door.
**************************************************************************
Kind of a corny ending yeah, but I can't go starting about what happens next on this chapter because 1) it will take me longer and 2) it will be ridiculously long, like 20 odd pages. So anyway, I'm back from camp, it was great and I had an awesome time. In celebration of the new HP book we did a Harry Potter them for Final Night in the dining hall...it turned out fantastic. Anyway, I'll try to get to work on the next chapter ASAP...like the eagle said, keep your pants on until then.
Love and peace
Court
Anyway, here we go..
Peregrin Took had a dangerous look in his eye. Meriadoc knew it well, all too well. It was a look not of evil, but of mischief. "Ready Merry?" asked Peregrin. "Of course," replied Meriadoc.
The two hobbits, or rather elves, made their way down the corridor and down the stairs. Merry threw out his arm to stop his friend when he heard a soft pouting coming from the pub. The two elves met eyes, smiled, and listened eagerly.
"How can you do it? I must hand it to hobbits, they put up with a lot...I think I owe you all and apology..."
Like music, Legolas's voice drifted up the stairs into Merry and Pippin's ears. They smiled all the broader, and leaned all the more to listen better in between the pause that Legolas took to blow his nose.
"I mean, are you hobbits always this emotional?" Legolas asked, a string of snot hanging out of his nose.
"Well...er...sometimes, if we get REALLY upset..." started Sam. Frodo was giggling uncontrollably. "Do you have something to say Frodo?" he asked the giggling hobbit, crossing his arms as if talking to a disobedient child.
"Yes," said Frodo before he was again overcome by giggles.
"Well go on and say it then!"
"Sam cried when Bill the pony ate his cabbages!" Frodo burst, curling on the floor in fits of laughter.
"I did not! He...er...stepped on my toe while I was...er... trying to get him away from the garden!" said Sam, with the obviousness of making the story up as he went along. "Honest!" he concluded as Legolas, Gandalf, and Aragorn, who scared everyone in the room with his barking laugh because everyone had forgotten he was there. Legolas wiped away his tears, only to find that fresh ones were falling from laughing so hard.
Merry and Pippin were holding on to each other for dear life so that they didn't fall down the steps from shaking so much in silent laughter.
"Sam! Tell them about the time you couldn't find your favorite hoe and broke down for days!" Frodo roared. Sam was forced to bite his lip from lashing out at Frodo, for the way that his friend had said the word 'hoe' was taken the wrong way by everyone in the tavern in that it meant a prostitute. Immediately, Sam was shaking hands with Aragorn.
"I never knew you had it in ya Sam! Was this before or after you wed Rosie?" the Ranger asked.
"Strider! I've never had a whore in my life! Ever! Yes, I did cry when I lost my hoe..."
The room burst into laughter again.
"AS I WAS SAYING! A hoe, you know, a hoe that you plow with?" Sam tried to explain, throwing his arms up in the air.
"You plowed through your whore? Sam! I'm so proud!" said Legolas, clearly forgetting his saddened stated of being a hobbit. Sam quickly put him in his place.
"I TOLD YOU I DON'T HAVE A WHORE, HALFLING!" he roared, putting certain emphasis on the last word. Legolas shrank into his chair.
"Now, a hoe," Sam began, and the giggles came again, though more suppressed now, "you rake with..."
"You rack with? She had a nice rack?" Frodo burst, and the giggles broke their dams and laughter surged forth.
"You're 'opeless..." said Sam as he quickly chugged the last of his whiskey.
Merry and Pippin's faces were now a dark shade of maroon.
"But Sam! Did you ever find you're 'hoe'?" said Aragorn.
Sam muttered under his breath.
"What's that you say?" asked Legolas.
"He said he found her in the bed with Rosie!" Frodo yelled. Merry and Pippin were tilting...
The tavern was filled with such laughter that the windows shook as a great wave of sounds of disgust preceded it.
"I said that I found it in a bed of roses! Now lay off!" said Sam, clearly on the verge of tears. Aragorn was on the verge of mock-consoling the hobbit before he was interrupted.
BA-BOOM
BA-BOOM
BA-BOOM BOOM
Merry and Pippin's last amount of elfish strength had given way and they had tumbled down the last three stairs, doubled over on the floor in tears. Met with this sight of two fully grown elves, all of the tavern (with the exception of Legolas, who went back to pouting) was silent, not out of shock, but for the fact that they were laughing so hard that they could not breathe.
Legolas, on the other hand, was fuming.
"Meriadoc! Peregrin! You are ELVES for Elrond's sake! Why don't you grow up-" A short bark of laughter came from Aragorn, "and start acting like elves!"
"Because being an elf but acting like a hobbit is so much fun!" said Merry.
"Yes, think of what we can do to you and what you can't do to stop us!" said Pippin, the dangerous look back in his eye as he and Merry got to their feet. "Say, Gandalf, how long does this stuff last?" he asked the wizard as he tore his eyes away from the frozen-in-terror blonde hobbit who was whispering "you wouldn't!"
There was no reply from Gandalf, who was sitting with his back to everyone in the tavern, smoke billowing out from in front of him.
"Gandalf?" Pippin repeated. Aragorn tapped him on the shoulder, but the wizard didn't move. The Ranger tapped him again, but he still didn't move. Finally, Aragorn swung Gandalf around in his chair, and the room gasped.
Gandalf was...well, in no other words to suit it, extremely high. He was squinting, smiling, and giggling with no idea what was going on in the room.
"Great, just when I need to ask you something, you go and get high!" yelled Pippin.
"Well short stuff," said Merry, looking Legolas in the eye, "Seeing as Gandalf can't do a thing to change us back for a while, Pippin and I will give you and Sam, no Frodo because he's drunk, a thirty-second head start."
"Head start on what?" asked Legolas, stomach rumbling.
"To run. Run your ass off, because it's payback time."
Legolas's eyes grew wide, and he looked to Sam for confirmation that this was actually happening. Sam nodded. The two hobbits looked at the two elves, then back to each other, and ran full out to the door.
Pippin put his hands on his hips jovially. "Hahahahahahaha! We've been waiting for this a long time ya kn--"
BOOM
Gandalf had passed out and hit the floor. Aragorn sighed, muttering things under his breath as he heaved the wizard onto a couch by the fire. As he did so, Frodo spotted a note on the counter where Gandalf had been sitting. He picked it up and read it, doubling back over it to make sure he was reading it right after rubbing his eyes vigorously.
Merry and Pippin spotted the Ringbearer's dilemma. "What's up Frodo?" asked Merry.
"Er...nothing," said Frodo as he pocketed the note. Aragorn returned from tending to Gandalf and snatched the note from the hobbit's pocket. Frodo made an attempted to regain it, but Aragorn held him at bay with his palm on the hobbit's head. The color in the Ranger's face faded as he read further down the note.
"Do you think he's serious?" asked Aragorn to Frodo.
"I think so...Gandalf wouldn't joke about something like this..."
"Something like what?" asked Pippin, trying to peer over Aragorn's shoulder.
"Nothing! I mean, nothing Pippin, don't you have some hobbits to torture?" said Aragorn, hastily stashing the note.
"Right!" said Pippin.
"Now where do you think they went?" pondered Merry.
"Hmmmmm..." said Pippin, scratching his chin. As if to answer Merry's question, the two elves heard raised voices coming from the back yard. The elves smiled and exited. Pippin couldn't help but notice that Aragorn and Frodo were pouring over the note again as they left. He shrugged and went on with his hobbit-hunt.
"Now Pippin, where could they be?" said Merry sarcastically.
"Gee, I don't know Merry, maybe in THAT TREE?" said Pippin in the same tone, pointing to the very tree that Sam and Legolas were hiding in. The two elves heard a very faint "Shit" come from the branches.
"Get a ladder," said Merry.
"Who needs a ladder? We're two feet taller Merry! We'll climb!" said Pippin, jumping up and grabbing hold of some of the lower branches. Merry smiled and followed suit.
Meanwhile in the branches, Sam and Legolas were panicking.
"Whaddawedo?" said Legolas breathlessly.
"Well seeing as Merry and Pippin are the ones who always have to do this, I would suggest asking them, but that's obviously not an option," replied Sam. Legolas frowned and looked down at the advancing elves. For the first time in his life, he was actually scared. This was revenge for Merry and Pippin. He was over come by tears again.
"Why...sniff...are you...sniff...h-h-hobbits...so e-e-e-emotional?" Legolas asked Sam, sniffing and crying.
"Because we don't live forever, that's why!" said Sam. "When you're immortal, you get hard and forget what it's like to feel pain. But now really isn't the time to talk about this!"
Merry and Pippin were now twenty feet below them, climbing fast and jeering.
"Awwwww, ickle Legolas go cryie boo boo?" yelled Pippin.
"Gaaaaaaaa! Gaaaaaaaa! Goo goo ga ga! Do you understand that Legolas?" called Merry.
The elves were now inches away from them.
Overcome by fear, Legolas lashed out, striking the closer elf, which was Merry, in the face with his foot. Startled, Merry let go of the branches he was holding onto, but not before he grabbed hold of Legolas.
"AHHHHH!!" screamed Legolas as he fell.
THUD
Merry had taken the full blow of the fall, whereas Legolas had landed softly on top of him. Merry let out a gasp of air before fainting.
"Mmmmmeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyy!" cried Pippin as he grabbed Sam's ankle and jumped from the tree. He landed softly and ran over to his fallen friend, hobbit still in hand.
"Merry, wake up, wake up!" said Pippin, slapping Merry's bloody face. Legolas stood in shock.
"Is he...is he dead?" asked Legolas. Pippin had his ear to his friend's heart. "He's alive..." said Pippin. Legolas breathed a sigh of relief that was cut short by Pippin's tackle. Poor Sam, he was dragged along in the rumble.
"But you won't be for long!" snarled Pippin. Legolas and Sam wimpered. Pippin beat the two hobbits over the head, much like the good fairy did to little bunny Foo Foo. The two were knocked senseless. They had no recollection of what Pippin did to them next.
First, he found a length of rope. Then, he bound the two hobbits by their hands and knees. He threw the two over his shoulders and proceeded to a mud ditch behind the tavern.
PLOP
Pippin threw the two hobbits into the very center of the ditch, which was easily fifty feet in diameter. After he wiped his hands on his pants, the sun came out from behind the murky clouds in dazzling array. The mud that the unconscious Legolas and Sam were lying in began to dry rapidly. Seeing that his work was done, he quickly ran over to the limp elf Merry.
"Merry!" he whispered. Merry didn't move. "Merry please, wake up! Please..." Pippin said, pounding a fist lightly on his friend's chest, fighting tears. Merry was having a tough time keeping a straight face. He couldn't hold it any longer.
"BAAAAA!" he shouted.
"EEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Pippin shrieked as he leaped back in shock.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Merry curled into a ball on the ground.
"You..were FAKING? You bastard! I'll kill ya!" shouted Pippin as he put his friend in a half nelson.
"Okay! Okay! I'm sorry, but it was great! You should have seen the look on your face!" Merry said. Pippin let go of his friend, and laughed in spite of himself.
"Yeah, that was a pretty good one, Mer. You got me good," admitted Pippin.
"I know," smiled Merry. "So what are you planning to do with those two?" Merry jerked a thumb over his shoulder, pointing to the two hobbits that were now trapped in the hard mud.
"Leave 'em," said Pippin.
"And then what?" asked Merry.
"Haven't gotten that far yet," said Pippin.
"Sounds good, let's get an ale," said Merry.
"I'll drink to that!"
The two made their way inside, to find that Aragorn and Frodo were still discussing the note that Frodo had found in the counter.
"Alright, enough with this damn letter, let me see it!" said Merry, grabbing for the paper in Aragorn's hands.
"No!" yelled Aragorn.
"Yes!" shouted the two elves, who were more than a match for Aragorn, who was putting up a good fight.
"NO!" he yelled again.
"YES!"
"NO---AHAHAHHAHAHAHA!" Pippin had come from behind Aragorn and tickled him under his arms, unwillingly letting go of the note. As he read it, Merry's face grew pale.
"Oh, what is that bloody letter about?" asked Pippin, snatching the letter out of his friend's stone hands. His eyes widened.
It read:
Sorry to leave you on your own like this, but for some reason I really felt like getting high today. I am afraid that I don't have any of the reversing powder to reverse the changes that were put on Merry, Pippin, and Legolas. Either they choose to remain the way they are until the next full moon, which would cause them to change back naturally, but painfully in the fact that knowing that keeping the powder in them for so long would make them unable to eat for the rest of their natural lives, or they have the option to seek Elrond's help. I know that he has a nice stash of anti- hobbit and elf powders on hand, so it will be no trouble at all to go to him. Knowing that the hobbits, which are now elves, would much rather seek Elrond's help than never eat again, I suggest that they leave tonight to get there within ten days on foot. As another option, you could find a trusty eagle to relay the message to Elrond. That way would be much quicker, but I leave it to you! The full moon is in two weeks, so hurry along!
Pippin dropped the letter. His eyes met Merry's.
"No food?"
"No ale?"
"AHHHHHH!" the two yelled in unison.
"We have to get Elrond here quick!" said Frodo. Aragorn was already scribbling a letter, knowing the seriousness of the matter.
"But where are we going to get an eagle?" said Merry. "Pip, do you have any ideas? Pip? Pip!"
Pippin was rocking silently, muttering to himself, "Not Elrond, not Elrond, not Elrond..." Merry ignored him.
"May I be of some service?" came a noble voice from an open window. Everyone in the tavern turned to look in shock at the eagle that was perched there.
"How..." started Aragorn.
"Do not ask questions. This is a story. Everything always goes the right way, there is always a happy ending, and people, or rather beasts, like me always turn up at the right time to save the day. A typical story," said the eagle tonelessly. The tavern stared. "Well are you going to give me the letter or not?"
Aragorn jumped and got out of his seat as the eagle snapped at him. He tied the letter around his leg and stepped away.
"Elrond will be here in about twenty minutes, so keep your pants on until then..." said the eagle as he soared away from the window towards Rivendell. Pippin resumed his rocking, but Merry slapped him on the back of the head.
"Why are you so afraid of him?" said Merry.
"His eyes...his eyes!" said Pippin.
"What's so bad about his eyes?"
"He looks at me evil!"
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"He's in Zion!"
"What?!"
"Tell Neo! He's in Zion!"
"Are you mad?!"
"Neo! NEO!"
"Shut up!" the tavern yelled.
"But he's in Zion!" Pippin whimpered.
"Actually, he's right here Master Pippin."
The tavern turned, and surely enough, Elrond was standing in the door.
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Kind of a corny ending yeah, but I can't go starting about what happens next on this chapter because 1) it will take me longer and 2) it will be ridiculously long, like 20 odd pages. So anyway, I'm back from camp, it was great and I had an awesome time. In celebration of the new HP book we did a Harry Potter them for Final Night in the dining hall...it turned out fantastic. Anyway, I'll try to get to work on the next chapter ASAP...like the eagle said, keep your pants on until then.
Love and peace
Court