**wow...so how long has it been since I last posted? Sorry I didn't get
back to this sooner, I was having a 'writers block' so you may call it...I
have some fresh new ideas as well. I haven't read of anything like what
I'm about to do, so I hope it's original. What I'm gonna do is maybe throw
in a few movies here and there...and I've taken a particular liking in the
word 'savvy'. So, you might see some Captain Jack Sparrow quotes in there
somewhere. Also, it is regrettable to announce that one of the characters
will be leaving for a period of time. He will either leave in this chapter
or next, depending on how long thing on is. I will take a little break
from comedy and it will get a little dramatic.... Anyway, I don't want to
be causing no tears, so here we go**
*******************************************************************
Meriadoc Brandybuck awoke out of his drunken stupor to the smell of roasting steaks that was seeping through the cracks of the doors and windows. He also awoke to a sick feeling in his gut...not the kind that made him sick, but the kind that made him know that something was amid, that something was wrong. He knew that today, something was going to happen.
His head was still swirling from all the liquor he had consumed. As he sat up, he got a head rush from all the blood going to his head. He quickly fell back to the floor, only making it worse. When the pain subsided, he sat up again, slowly this time.
Pippin was nowhere near to coming around, as he was curled up in a ball on the floor with a mug in one hand, and sucking on his thumb with the other. For a split second, the elf-soon-to-be-hobbit forgot all his worries. Seeing Pippin so peaceful had made him forget for a moment, but when he saw his friend's short straight hair, flawless ears, and hairless feet, they came back to him like a boomerang.
He sighed and looked around the tavern. Frodo was asleep in Sam's lap, and Sam was leaning against a column Legolas was still tied up to his column, but he was starting to come around. Elrond was nowhere to be seen. When Merry's gaze fell to the couch where Gandalf was asleep, the wizard's feet no longer hanging off the end.
Merry stood up and walked to the couch, halfway expecting the wizard to magically appear, but he didn't. Suddenly, the birds outside stopped chirping. The sound of sizzling meat stopped.
"It's quiet..." said Merry to himself. He turned around to see what was going on and he ran into an enormous nose.
BONK
"AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
"AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" yelled Merry and Gandalf in surprise. Merry in that he had just run into a giant nose, and Gandalf in that he had run into a giant hobbit.
"Meriadoc! How you've grown!" said Gandalf.
"Grown?" said Merry in mock shock. "Grown? You dumb ass Gandalf, you're the one who did this to us!"
"Did I now?" said Gandalf, stroking his beard thoughtfully.
"Yes!"
"I don't believe I did."
"Yes you did! Legolas and Pippin and I were arguing about how it's harder to be a hobbit than an elf!"
"Aw Meriadoc, you were always the kidder. Unless I was drunk or high, there is no way that I would do something like that!"
"You were high!"
"No, I don't believe I was. I got high after I gave you the powders."
"Y---what?" said Merry as he was pointing a finger at Gandalf, but then dropped it and slumped his shoulders in confusion.
"My point exactly. Now, I see that Aragorn is cooking some fine looking steaks. I'll go check up on him, you wake the others," said Gandalf as he walked out the door, leaving Merry dumbfounded.
Merry shrugged and began to shake the others that were also on hangovers. Frodo and Sam had a tough time getting up, but surprisingly Pippin was up and about rather quickly. Legolas was already awake by the time Merry got to him. He was scowling, so Merry decided to carefully back away from the crazed hobbit. Slowly, for Legolas was foaming at the mouth.
"Well I'm starving and it's high time for something to eat. How long until those steaks will be done Merry?" said Pippin as he was rubbing his eyes.
"I'm guessing any time now. Bet I can eat more steaks than you," said Merry.
"Cannot!"
"Can!"
"Can'!"
"Can!"
"Can't!"
"Can! And that's that!"
"Whatever."
"The sooner Elrond changes us back the better," came a low, gruff voice from behind them. Merry and Pippin were positively shocked at the lowness of the hobbit/elf's voice. Legolas had somehow gotten loose of his bonds. "See what being a hobbit it doing to me? It's taking my lovely voice away from me! Look at my toes! My pedicure! It's ruined! And my---"
BANG
Sam was holding a shaking frying pan in his hands as Legolas fell to the floor.
"Thank you!" said Merry, Pippin, and Frodo in unison.
"Merry, I think we need some more drinks," said Frodo.
"Indeed we do. Seems like we are going to need some more kegs before the month is up after all we drank...was it last night? Or a few hours ago? Anyway, I can't remember. Pip, be sure not to change the road signs until we get more kegs or we'll be run outta here!"
"Of course," said Pippin, smiling. He had changed the road signs of the Shire and Stock back to their proper positions since Frodo and Sam were visiting Fool's Paradise. All other times the signs were switched, unless the local Shirriffs were walking by and switched them back. This way Frodo and Sam got some peace and quiet from tourists, and Merry and Pippin got more business.
"Speaking of being run out, why haven't there been any visitors here?" asked Sam.
"For one, the signs for Shire and Stock are at their proper place, I made sure of that before you came," said Pippin.
"For another, we posted at the Prancing Pony that we were closed this weekend for renovations. Most of our customers stop there before coming here, so that's why no one has come," said Merry. "I'm going to bring up one of the good kegs. Even better! I'll get some of the rum! Be right back."
Merry made his way to the cellar, only to find that the door leading downstairs was closed.
"Pip, isn't this normally open?"
"Sure is. Why's it closed?
"Dunno. Frodo?"
"Not me! Sam?"
"Nope."
"Hmm..." pondered Merry as he reached for the handle.
BANG!
"RUM FOR EVERYONE!" shouted Elrond as he burst open the cellar door, pinning Merry against the wall. A very faint "not again" could be heard behind it.
"HEY!" Pippin, Frodo, and Sam shouted in agreement. Elrond took out three bottles from within his robes and handed them to the hobbits and the elf. The four were drinking merrily until Merry ran out of merriness.
SLAM
The cellar door slammed shut, revealing a very disgruntled elf. The tavern was silent. Steaks were sizzling outside. Suddenly a cracked smile appeared on Merry's face.
"Lars, lars, pants on fars..." he said as he fell to the ground, still smiling. The two elves and the two drinking hobbits shrugged and went back to their rum.
"Hey! Hey! I have an idea!" said Pippin.
"And what would that be?" said Frodo.
"Let's get Legolas drunk...while he's asleep!"
"Pippin?" said Sam.
"Yep?" said Pippin.
"Are you drunk?"
"Yes."
"Not nearly drunk enough...more rum!"
"HERE HERE!" said Pippin as he swigged the last of his rum. "Elrond! More rum! Elrond?"
Elrond was passed with his head on the pub counter.
"Poor bastard," said Pippin as he relived the elf of all his remaining rum.
"Yeah. He can't control himself when it comes to rum can he?" said Sam.
"Stupid Sam. I was referring to Legolas," said Pippin as he walked over to Legolas, propped his mouth open and began to pour the rum in his mouth.
The hobbit gagged, coughed, and sputtered as the rum ran down his throat. Pippin forced more down before Legolas could begin to resist.
"Just give in mate. There ya go. Pretty good shit eh?"
"*HIC* CHEEREYEREYS! *HIC*" said Legolas.
"Cheers!" Pippin said.
"Pippin!" said Frodo, suddenly alarmed.
"What?"
"What is THAT?" said Frodo, pointing to the window. "He's wearing...brown!"
"What's wrong with that?" said Pippin as he gave Legolas another bottle of rum and not paying any attention to the window.
"He's wearing short shorts!" said Sam.
"THE HORROR! THE HORROR!" said Pippin. Merry suddenly woke up. He saw the brown short-shorts wearing man in the window and passed out again.
"Um, excuse me?" said the man, knocking on the window. "This is the UPS man. I have an order for Mr. Smith?"
"Mr. Smith? There's no Mr. Sm---"
"ME! THAT'S ME!" yelled Elrond as he ran to the door.
"Mr. Smith?" said Frodo as he scratched his head.
"I think that's his alter ego from some other world," said Sam.
"Half-way there. He's an agent from the Matrix," said Pippin. His knees buckled. His old fears were coming back to him. A hand rested on his shoulder. Merry was there.
"But he lives in a world based on rules. He will never be as fast as you can be. Don't fear a machine."
"Right." Pippin's strength came back to him. He looked back over at Elrond, who was signing some papers.
"Ok, sign here...and here...and here...there you go. A seventy-two inch wide screen television, two DVD's of choice, twenty magazines of choice, one Dell Inspiron 8100, wireless internet connection, and...three dresses?"
"ROBES, THEY'RE ROBES! NOW GET OUT!"
"But, but, but, but..."
"No 'but's!"
"But...I need...money..." said the UPS man as he backed away from the door.
"GOODBYE!" yelled Elrond.
Two elves and two hobbits were cackling over bottles of rum.
"Do you want do have some sort of entertainment while you are starving for twenty-four hours or not?" said Elrond, staring each of them in the eye.
"Yes..." said Merry and Pippin.
"Good. Now, one more half-assed cracks about my robes. GOT IT?"
"Yes!" said Merry and Pippin, sitting with their legs crossed like kindergarteners.
"Now. I want you to set up all of this equipment. Just...read the manual and do what it says. I'll be outside...those steaks smell done."
Merry, Pippin, Frodo, and Sam looked over at the door. Several brown boxes were stacked one on top of the other.
"Um...Merry?" said Pippin.
"Yeah Pip?"
"I have a confession."
"What?"
"I haven't learned all my letters yet."
"Me neither"
"You lied"
"Yep"
"How could you?"
"You did too"
"Oh yeah"
"Looks like it's me and Frodo doing the reading here," said Sam. "You two just do everything we say."
"Ok...now it says here plug the USB..."
Meanwhile, outside...
"Elrond! Glad you could join us!" said Aragorn as the Elvin lord came outside.
"Yes, we were just discussing how well you are punking Merry, Pippin, and Legolas," said Gandalf.
"So you figured it oh, eh?" said Elrond, thoroughly impressed.
"Yep," said Aragorn and Gandalf. Aragorn took the steaks, now finished, off the fire.
"Yes, the only thing that I will be giving to those three is some sugar water...the maroons, I can't believe that haven't figured out themselves that they are changing back as we speak. Legolas's hair is starting to straighten out and Merry and Pippin's are curling up again. But the height will be the last thing to go."
"Good," said Aragorn. "Now for these steaks..."
"Tell me Elrond: how do you plan on keeping those three busy for twenty- four hours?" asked Gandalf, lighting his pipe.
"Ebay"
"Nice"
Back inside...
"NO PIPPIN! I SAID PUT THE RED WIRE IN THE USB, NOT PUT IT IN THE FIRE AND TAKE A PEE!" yelled Sam. Pippin had his back turned to Sam so that it certainly looked like he had thrown the red wires in the fire and was peeing on them. He chuckled, picked up the wire that was just in front of the fire, and picked up his pants and fastened them.
"Aw Sam, it was just for a laugh!" said Pippin as he expertly plugged the red wire into the proper places.
"Why couldn't Elrond order a camera? Priceless. Sam's face, oh man that was great!" said Merry as he effortlessly put the DVD player on top of the television.
"Why am I on the cover of this?" said Frodo. Sam, Pippin, and Merry stared at Frodo.
"What?" they said, unable to say anything else as they gazed upon the DVD case.
"I'm on the cover!" said Frodo, beginning to pout. "I have a stalker!" Tears leaked out of his eyes.
"It's okay Frodo, I'm sure it's not what you think it is," said Sam as he tried to console his friend.
"No it's not okay! Those damn tourists can't get enough can they?!" Frodo choked.
"Well at least it's a good picture. At least it wasn't Sam on the cover; otherwise nobody would buy it," said Merry. Sam threw Merry a warning glance, which he certainly didn't catch.
"You know, I think they should have put us on the cover! Look at us! Aren't we handsome?!" said Pippin, hugging Merry's shoulder and point at the two of them.
"Erm..." said Frodo and Sam.
"I can tell you're not impressed. Let me see that," said Merry as he took the DVD out of Frodo's hands.
"Looks like some sort of box..." said Pippin, inspecting it.
"AH!!!" yelled Frodo falling to the floor.
BOOM
"WHAT?" yelled Sam, Merry, and Pippin.
"There.....there...there's another one!" Frodo said as he slowly picked up another DVD out of a box.
"Let me see that!" said Merry, snatching the DVD out of Frodo's trembling hands. He studied the two cases closely. "Didn't we set up something called a 'DVD player'?"
"Come to think of it I reckon we did. It's on top of the telefishin," said Pippin.
"Television!" said Merry. "This is a DVD! We put it in the DVD player!"
"And that means?" said Pippin, crossing his arms.
"I have no idea. But let's see what it does."
BA-BANG
Frodo had passed out and in spite of Sam's efforts fell to the floor, dragging Sam to the floor, knocking both of them out cold.
"Saves us some time...the DVD Merry!" said Pippin.
"Oh right! Ok...the manual says press the 'power' button on the remote..." Merry pressed the power button. Nothing happened.
"Nothing's happening," said Pippin, as if to state the obvious. "Wait a minute...where's Legolas?" Merry and Pippin looked around the tavern and saw no sign of them.
"Looking for these?" came a voice from their knees.
"EEIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Merry and Pippin screamed in spite of themselves. Legolas was at their feet, shorter than ever. His hair was not so curly anymore. He was dangling a pair of batteries between his fingers.
"GIVE ME THOSE!" yelled Merry as he dove for the batteries. Legolas stepped nimbly...his elfish grace seemed to be returning, but the two elves- changing-into-hobbits didn't notice. Merry and Pippin bashed heads as they collided into each other.
"Catch me if you---" Legolas didn't get a change to finish his sentence, for Merry and Pippin also were beginning to regain their hobbit reflexes, but they didn't notice. Within seconds Legolas was tied to the column again, gagged, leaving Merry and Pippin wondering what the batteries were for.
"Why did you want them if you don't know what they are?" asked Pippin.
"Well obviously they're important if Legos wanted to keep them away from us!" said Merry. He tore open the package of batteries and took the pair out and examined them. Pippin examined the DVD player.
"Um...Merry?" said Pippin.
"Shut up! I'm thinking!" snapped Merry.
"But..."
"I said shut up!"
"B-b-b-but---"
"WHAT IS IT!" snapped Merry.
PING
Pippin pressed a button on the DVD player, which came to life. "And then there's this one..." said Pippin as he pressed the power button to the TV.
FLICK SIZZLE
Merry and Pippin jumped away as the black screen illuminated with brilliant colors. The letters 'D-V-D' shown on the screen.
"Wait...how did you know that you needed to press the power button to turn it on?" asked Pippin.
"I can read."
"No you can't!"
"Yes I can."
"You said you couldn't!"
"I lied."
"LIAR!"
"You lied too...you found the power button on the DVD player."
"True. This button says 'open'...maybe that's where the DVD goes?" suggested Pippin.
"Yes, I think so. This one here says "The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Special Extended Edition (**A/N: I'm too lazy to go downstairs and find the case that says what it actually says...but it's the extended version they will watch**)"...do you think this is about us?" said Merry.
"Only one way to find out!" Pippin took the DVD case out of his hands, opened it, and put the disc in the DVD player...and a world that was so familiar to them was opened up to them before their very eyes.
************************************************************************
Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry! It's been weeks, months since I last posted and I'm SOOOO sorry! I've been busy...anyway, it might take a little longer for that certain character to leave than I thought. It also might be longer between postings b/c of school...stupid school ( no offence to teachers ). Anyway, hope all the rest of you are having as much fun as I am in school...later.
Love and peace,
Court
*******************************************************************
Meriadoc Brandybuck awoke out of his drunken stupor to the smell of roasting steaks that was seeping through the cracks of the doors and windows. He also awoke to a sick feeling in his gut...not the kind that made him sick, but the kind that made him know that something was amid, that something was wrong. He knew that today, something was going to happen.
His head was still swirling from all the liquor he had consumed. As he sat up, he got a head rush from all the blood going to his head. He quickly fell back to the floor, only making it worse. When the pain subsided, he sat up again, slowly this time.
Pippin was nowhere near to coming around, as he was curled up in a ball on the floor with a mug in one hand, and sucking on his thumb with the other. For a split second, the elf-soon-to-be-hobbit forgot all his worries. Seeing Pippin so peaceful had made him forget for a moment, but when he saw his friend's short straight hair, flawless ears, and hairless feet, they came back to him like a boomerang.
He sighed and looked around the tavern. Frodo was asleep in Sam's lap, and Sam was leaning against a column Legolas was still tied up to his column, but he was starting to come around. Elrond was nowhere to be seen. When Merry's gaze fell to the couch where Gandalf was asleep, the wizard's feet no longer hanging off the end.
Merry stood up and walked to the couch, halfway expecting the wizard to magically appear, but he didn't. Suddenly, the birds outside stopped chirping. The sound of sizzling meat stopped.
"It's quiet..." said Merry to himself. He turned around to see what was going on and he ran into an enormous nose.
BONK
"AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
"AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" yelled Merry and Gandalf in surprise. Merry in that he had just run into a giant nose, and Gandalf in that he had run into a giant hobbit.
"Meriadoc! How you've grown!" said Gandalf.
"Grown?" said Merry in mock shock. "Grown? You dumb ass Gandalf, you're the one who did this to us!"
"Did I now?" said Gandalf, stroking his beard thoughtfully.
"Yes!"
"I don't believe I did."
"Yes you did! Legolas and Pippin and I were arguing about how it's harder to be a hobbit than an elf!"
"Aw Meriadoc, you were always the kidder. Unless I was drunk or high, there is no way that I would do something like that!"
"You were high!"
"No, I don't believe I was. I got high after I gave you the powders."
"Y---what?" said Merry as he was pointing a finger at Gandalf, but then dropped it and slumped his shoulders in confusion.
"My point exactly. Now, I see that Aragorn is cooking some fine looking steaks. I'll go check up on him, you wake the others," said Gandalf as he walked out the door, leaving Merry dumbfounded.
Merry shrugged and began to shake the others that were also on hangovers. Frodo and Sam had a tough time getting up, but surprisingly Pippin was up and about rather quickly. Legolas was already awake by the time Merry got to him. He was scowling, so Merry decided to carefully back away from the crazed hobbit. Slowly, for Legolas was foaming at the mouth.
"Well I'm starving and it's high time for something to eat. How long until those steaks will be done Merry?" said Pippin as he was rubbing his eyes.
"I'm guessing any time now. Bet I can eat more steaks than you," said Merry.
"Cannot!"
"Can!"
"Can'!"
"Can!"
"Can't!"
"Can! And that's that!"
"Whatever."
"The sooner Elrond changes us back the better," came a low, gruff voice from behind them. Merry and Pippin were positively shocked at the lowness of the hobbit/elf's voice. Legolas had somehow gotten loose of his bonds. "See what being a hobbit it doing to me? It's taking my lovely voice away from me! Look at my toes! My pedicure! It's ruined! And my---"
BANG
Sam was holding a shaking frying pan in his hands as Legolas fell to the floor.
"Thank you!" said Merry, Pippin, and Frodo in unison.
"Merry, I think we need some more drinks," said Frodo.
"Indeed we do. Seems like we are going to need some more kegs before the month is up after all we drank...was it last night? Or a few hours ago? Anyway, I can't remember. Pip, be sure not to change the road signs until we get more kegs or we'll be run outta here!"
"Of course," said Pippin, smiling. He had changed the road signs of the Shire and Stock back to their proper positions since Frodo and Sam were visiting Fool's Paradise. All other times the signs were switched, unless the local Shirriffs were walking by and switched them back. This way Frodo and Sam got some peace and quiet from tourists, and Merry and Pippin got more business.
"Speaking of being run out, why haven't there been any visitors here?" asked Sam.
"For one, the signs for Shire and Stock are at their proper place, I made sure of that before you came," said Pippin.
"For another, we posted at the Prancing Pony that we were closed this weekend for renovations. Most of our customers stop there before coming here, so that's why no one has come," said Merry. "I'm going to bring up one of the good kegs. Even better! I'll get some of the rum! Be right back."
Merry made his way to the cellar, only to find that the door leading downstairs was closed.
"Pip, isn't this normally open?"
"Sure is. Why's it closed?
"Dunno. Frodo?"
"Not me! Sam?"
"Nope."
"Hmm..." pondered Merry as he reached for the handle.
BANG!
"RUM FOR EVERYONE!" shouted Elrond as he burst open the cellar door, pinning Merry against the wall. A very faint "not again" could be heard behind it.
"HEY!" Pippin, Frodo, and Sam shouted in agreement. Elrond took out three bottles from within his robes and handed them to the hobbits and the elf. The four were drinking merrily until Merry ran out of merriness.
SLAM
The cellar door slammed shut, revealing a very disgruntled elf. The tavern was silent. Steaks were sizzling outside. Suddenly a cracked smile appeared on Merry's face.
"Lars, lars, pants on fars..." he said as he fell to the ground, still smiling. The two elves and the two drinking hobbits shrugged and went back to their rum.
"Hey! Hey! I have an idea!" said Pippin.
"And what would that be?" said Frodo.
"Let's get Legolas drunk...while he's asleep!"
"Pippin?" said Sam.
"Yep?" said Pippin.
"Are you drunk?"
"Yes."
"Not nearly drunk enough...more rum!"
"HERE HERE!" said Pippin as he swigged the last of his rum. "Elrond! More rum! Elrond?"
Elrond was passed with his head on the pub counter.
"Poor bastard," said Pippin as he relived the elf of all his remaining rum.
"Yeah. He can't control himself when it comes to rum can he?" said Sam.
"Stupid Sam. I was referring to Legolas," said Pippin as he walked over to Legolas, propped his mouth open and began to pour the rum in his mouth.
The hobbit gagged, coughed, and sputtered as the rum ran down his throat. Pippin forced more down before Legolas could begin to resist.
"Just give in mate. There ya go. Pretty good shit eh?"
"*HIC* CHEEREYEREYS! *HIC*" said Legolas.
"Cheers!" Pippin said.
"Pippin!" said Frodo, suddenly alarmed.
"What?"
"What is THAT?" said Frodo, pointing to the window. "He's wearing...brown!"
"What's wrong with that?" said Pippin as he gave Legolas another bottle of rum and not paying any attention to the window.
"He's wearing short shorts!" said Sam.
"THE HORROR! THE HORROR!" said Pippin. Merry suddenly woke up. He saw the brown short-shorts wearing man in the window and passed out again.
"Um, excuse me?" said the man, knocking on the window. "This is the UPS man. I have an order for Mr. Smith?"
"Mr. Smith? There's no Mr. Sm---"
"ME! THAT'S ME!" yelled Elrond as he ran to the door.
"Mr. Smith?" said Frodo as he scratched his head.
"I think that's his alter ego from some other world," said Sam.
"Half-way there. He's an agent from the Matrix," said Pippin. His knees buckled. His old fears were coming back to him. A hand rested on his shoulder. Merry was there.
"But he lives in a world based on rules. He will never be as fast as you can be. Don't fear a machine."
"Right." Pippin's strength came back to him. He looked back over at Elrond, who was signing some papers.
"Ok, sign here...and here...and here...there you go. A seventy-two inch wide screen television, two DVD's of choice, twenty magazines of choice, one Dell Inspiron 8100, wireless internet connection, and...three dresses?"
"ROBES, THEY'RE ROBES! NOW GET OUT!"
"But, but, but, but..."
"No 'but's!"
"But...I need...money..." said the UPS man as he backed away from the door.
"GOODBYE!" yelled Elrond.
Two elves and two hobbits were cackling over bottles of rum.
"Do you want do have some sort of entertainment while you are starving for twenty-four hours or not?" said Elrond, staring each of them in the eye.
"Yes..." said Merry and Pippin.
"Good. Now, one more half-assed cracks about my robes. GOT IT?"
"Yes!" said Merry and Pippin, sitting with their legs crossed like kindergarteners.
"Now. I want you to set up all of this equipment. Just...read the manual and do what it says. I'll be outside...those steaks smell done."
Merry, Pippin, Frodo, and Sam looked over at the door. Several brown boxes were stacked one on top of the other.
"Um...Merry?" said Pippin.
"Yeah Pip?"
"I have a confession."
"What?"
"I haven't learned all my letters yet."
"Me neither"
"You lied"
"Yep"
"How could you?"
"You did too"
"Oh yeah"
"Looks like it's me and Frodo doing the reading here," said Sam. "You two just do everything we say."
"Ok...now it says here plug the USB..."
Meanwhile, outside...
"Elrond! Glad you could join us!" said Aragorn as the Elvin lord came outside.
"Yes, we were just discussing how well you are punking Merry, Pippin, and Legolas," said Gandalf.
"So you figured it oh, eh?" said Elrond, thoroughly impressed.
"Yep," said Aragorn and Gandalf. Aragorn took the steaks, now finished, off the fire.
"Yes, the only thing that I will be giving to those three is some sugar water...the maroons, I can't believe that haven't figured out themselves that they are changing back as we speak. Legolas's hair is starting to straighten out and Merry and Pippin's are curling up again. But the height will be the last thing to go."
"Good," said Aragorn. "Now for these steaks..."
"Tell me Elrond: how do you plan on keeping those three busy for twenty- four hours?" asked Gandalf, lighting his pipe.
"Ebay"
"Nice"
Back inside...
"NO PIPPIN! I SAID PUT THE RED WIRE IN THE USB, NOT PUT IT IN THE FIRE AND TAKE A PEE!" yelled Sam. Pippin had his back turned to Sam so that it certainly looked like he had thrown the red wires in the fire and was peeing on them. He chuckled, picked up the wire that was just in front of the fire, and picked up his pants and fastened them.
"Aw Sam, it was just for a laugh!" said Pippin as he expertly plugged the red wire into the proper places.
"Why couldn't Elrond order a camera? Priceless. Sam's face, oh man that was great!" said Merry as he effortlessly put the DVD player on top of the television.
"Why am I on the cover of this?" said Frodo. Sam, Pippin, and Merry stared at Frodo.
"What?" they said, unable to say anything else as they gazed upon the DVD case.
"I'm on the cover!" said Frodo, beginning to pout. "I have a stalker!" Tears leaked out of his eyes.
"It's okay Frodo, I'm sure it's not what you think it is," said Sam as he tried to console his friend.
"No it's not okay! Those damn tourists can't get enough can they?!" Frodo choked.
"Well at least it's a good picture. At least it wasn't Sam on the cover; otherwise nobody would buy it," said Merry. Sam threw Merry a warning glance, which he certainly didn't catch.
"You know, I think they should have put us on the cover! Look at us! Aren't we handsome?!" said Pippin, hugging Merry's shoulder and point at the two of them.
"Erm..." said Frodo and Sam.
"I can tell you're not impressed. Let me see that," said Merry as he took the DVD out of Frodo's hands.
"Looks like some sort of box..." said Pippin, inspecting it.
"AH!!!" yelled Frodo falling to the floor.
BOOM
"WHAT?" yelled Sam, Merry, and Pippin.
"There.....there...there's another one!" Frodo said as he slowly picked up another DVD out of a box.
"Let me see that!" said Merry, snatching the DVD out of Frodo's trembling hands. He studied the two cases closely. "Didn't we set up something called a 'DVD player'?"
"Come to think of it I reckon we did. It's on top of the telefishin," said Pippin.
"Television!" said Merry. "This is a DVD! We put it in the DVD player!"
"And that means?" said Pippin, crossing his arms.
"I have no idea. But let's see what it does."
BA-BANG
Frodo had passed out and in spite of Sam's efforts fell to the floor, dragging Sam to the floor, knocking both of them out cold.
"Saves us some time...the DVD Merry!" said Pippin.
"Oh right! Ok...the manual says press the 'power' button on the remote..." Merry pressed the power button. Nothing happened.
"Nothing's happening," said Pippin, as if to state the obvious. "Wait a minute...where's Legolas?" Merry and Pippin looked around the tavern and saw no sign of them.
"Looking for these?" came a voice from their knees.
"EEIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Merry and Pippin screamed in spite of themselves. Legolas was at their feet, shorter than ever. His hair was not so curly anymore. He was dangling a pair of batteries between his fingers.
"GIVE ME THOSE!" yelled Merry as he dove for the batteries. Legolas stepped nimbly...his elfish grace seemed to be returning, but the two elves- changing-into-hobbits didn't notice. Merry and Pippin bashed heads as they collided into each other.
"Catch me if you---" Legolas didn't get a change to finish his sentence, for Merry and Pippin also were beginning to regain their hobbit reflexes, but they didn't notice. Within seconds Legolas was tied to the column again, gagged, leaving Merry and Pippin wondering what the batteries were for.
"Why did you want them if you don't know what they are?" asked Pippin.
"Well obviously they're important if Legos wanted to keep them away from us!" said Merry. He tore open the package of batteries and took the pair out and examined them. Pippin examined the DVD player.
"Um...Merry?" said Pippin.
"Shut up! I'm thinking!" snapped Merry.
"But..."
"I said shut up!"
"B-b-b-but---"
"WHAT IS IT!" snapped Merry.
PING
Pippin pressed a button on the DVD player, which came to life. "And then there's this one..." said Pippin as he pressed the power button to the TV.
FLICK SIZZLE
Merry and Pippin jumped away as the black screen illuminated with brilliant colors. The letters 'D-V-D' shown on the screen.
"Wait...how did you know that you needed to press the power button to turn it on?" asked Pippin.
"I can read."
"No you can't!"
"Yes I can."
"You said you couldn't!"
"I lied."
"LIAR!"
"You lied too...you found the power button on the DVD player."
"True. This button says 'open'...maybe that's where the DVD goes?" suggested Pippin.
"Yes, I think so. This one here says "The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Special Extended Edition (**A/N: I'm too lazy to go downstairs and find the case that says what it actually says...but it's the extended version they will watch**)"...do you think this is about us?" said Merry.
"Only one way to find out!" Pippin took the DVD case out of his hands, opened it, and put the disc in the DVD player...and a world that was so familiar to them was opened up to them before their very eyes.
************************************************************************
Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry! It's been weeks, months since I last posted and I'm SOOOO sorry! I've been busy...anyway, it might take a little longer for that certain character to leave than I thought. It also might be longer between postings b/c of school...stupid school ( no offence to teachers ). Anyway, hope all the rest of you are having as much fun as I am in school...later.
Love and peace,
Court