Silver Blood
Chapter 5: Darkness Falls
The whole room was spinning with memories long forgotten. Horrible feelings burst inside of him as he sat against the wall trying to ignore his surroundings. Flashes of angry and disappointed looks from Dumbledore appeared in his mind, as if taunting him. Harry had his eyes closed, still sitting on the floor. He couldn't open his eyes for fear that Dumbledore might actually see the real him in that room, watching an old memory that he had wanted to forget.
No…
Harry's mind hissed at him and he slowly opened his eyes to look back up at the scene. He couldn't let his emotions take over, not when Voldemort was involved. Even if Dumbledore had been disappointed in him and had betrayed him, at least as a friend, by sending the Ministry to get Harry, he couldn't let feelings of hatred be the result. Dumbledore had still taught him many things and had been his mentor throughout all his years of Hogwarts.
Dumbledore had given Harry a lot more than he had taken away, so the bad memories shouldn't have even mattered. Harry knew it was because of the amount of trust and respect he had for Dumbledore that drove him to become sensitive to these memories where he had disappointed his mentor, but even so, everyone had fights or disagreements now and then. Even Sirius had some with him.
Harry watched as the scene began to dissolve again. The figures all blurred together until they were unrecognizable; until Harry was sitting on the floor of the Minister's office. Voldemort was sneering down at him, watching as Harry caved into his emotions. Voldemort's eyes danced with amusement as he saw Harry glaring up at him.
"So you've had enough then?"
"Yes, I've had enough," Harry spat. "I know that sometimes Dumbledore and I weren't always as close as we seemed, but that's not going to stop me from trusting him and distrusting you."
Harry was shocked when Voldemort's amusement only grew. He smiled at Harry menacingly. "That was only the beginning, Harry. Being of such a young and ignorant age you didn't realize the truth that was all around you. I know that Dumbledore taught you many things," he sneered, "I can see that you learned a lot from him, but you also didn't see how it could've hurt you to know the truth. I can sense your trust in Dumbledore, along with your Godfather and friends…but tell me, Harry, what if everything they said to you wasn't true?"
"Enough!" Harry shouted, while standing up and backing away. "I'm sick of your lies! You only want me to believe what you're saying, but it's not true! I don't know what kind of enjoyment you're getting out of this, but I won't believe any of it!"
Without hesitation, Harry headed toward the door. Voldemort stayed where he was, not moving or letting any emotion slip onto his pale and inhuman features. His lips only curled into another sinister grin, "Pity…you don't want to hear what was really going on?"
Harry had reached the door again, for what felt like the millionth time he had tried to leave. Again, Voldemort's words stung him. It was like the imperius curse all over again, except that Harry couldn't help but turn and stare at him, even in disgust.
"What about it? What more do you have to say?" he snapped bitterly. Voldemort was clearly wasting his time, trying to get in enough pleasure to satisfy him over his defeat. It had to be it…but then there was this small part of Harry's mind that wondered if what he was saying was really true.
"Think about it, Harry. Dumbledore's had you wrapped around his finger for six years. Anything he says you'll do. Anything that he believes, you'll believe. Even your friends believe every word he says," Voldemort said. If there were bitterness in his words Harry couldn't tell. His face, along with his voice was neutral. "Of course, you all had nothing else to believe, and being under his care, there was no reason to doubt him. But he has been fake to you all these years. While you sit there sticking up for him with everything you have, he's off taking his time somewhere in the Middle East, not caring about you."
"He does care about me!" Harry shouted. "Why would he protect me all these years if he didn't?"
Voldemort only folded his hands in front of him, never taking his eyes off Harry or even blinking once. "Does he? As a teacher, Harry, he is obligated to watch over his students. The reason he watched over you extra carefully was because you tended to get in the most trouble. Not only that but you had the fate of the world riding in your hands. If you were in Dumbledore's position, wouldn't you watch yourself carefully as well?"
Harry could feel his body quivering as the same familiar feeling came over him. He felt as if somebody had suddenly hit him over the head. He couldn't tell if things were more clear, or more fuzzy. If Voldemort was telling the truth, that meant that Dumbledore only seemed to look out for Harry because of how important he was to the rest of the world. Harry had always felt that Dumbledore treated him differently than everyone else, along with Sirius, Remus, Ron and Herminoe. They didn't treat him like he was a famous boy looking for attention, or someone who needed protection every minute from the Dark Lord, as if he'd die at any minute and the world would end. No, they had treated him like any normal person, except that Dumbledore had given Harry extra training and had always seemed to be there for him.
He couldn't answer Voldemort. He couldn't look at him. Something was happening to him, but he couldn't figure out what it was. Was he finally realizing the truth? Was he being tricked? What was this strange feeling? If Dumbledore had only watched out for his well-being because he held the possibility of world destruction, or world savior then that meant everything else was a lie.
No…I won't believe it…it can't be true! No, I just want to get out of here!
Harry couldn't feel his legs as his mind was screaming to him to run out. He couldn't find the strength to turn around and run through the door. He couldn't help but question everything that he had once known to be true; everyone he believed and confided in.
Before Harry could completely get lost in a debate with his mind, whether he should even consider it or not, Voldemort continued. "Why do you think certain things happened?"
Harry snapped out of his morbid thoughts as Voldemort's words processed in his mind.
"What do you mean?" he asked almost mechanically, as if his mind had wanted to know, but not him.
"What about being Seeker," Voldemort said quietly.
Whether or not Voldemort was expecting him to react, Harry looked at him with a horrified expression.
"Why do you think you were chosen?"
Harry shook his head quickly from side to side, his mouth partly hanging open. If that was true then the way Professor McGonagall had treated him was all an act. The reason why she picked him for Seeker. It would mean she did it to boost his ego; to make him feel like he earned it so he believed more in himself…but it wasn't for his benefit, only the fact that Harry was meant to save the world. And that reason only was what determined how people treated him.
Harry's eyes glazed over as faces of his old teachers flashed before him, like mirages coming to life. They glared down at him with disappointment and disgust, contrary to how they had treated him before. Snape's usual sneer was no different, only worse. Professor McGonagall's glare was as harsh as when she had gotten angry at Malfoy for trying to curse a muggle-born. Filch's dark gaze pierced through him, followed by Professor Sprout, Bins and even Professor Trelawney. They all glared down at him as if he had betrayed them somehow.
The images were spinning through his head so fast that he didn't feel his knees hit the floor, nor did he realize he couldn't see the room anymore…only darkness, the darkness that was dwelling in his inner mind. The secrets that he had been so afraid to share even with his own best friends. He couldn't feel anything anymore, it was as if he were numb now. No emotion was rushing through his body, no hatred, no fear, just...emptiness; emptiness as if his heart was beginning to crumble.
XXXXX
Another piece of parchment landed on the all ready large pile that was building up on the desk. It felt like hours had gone by since he had last set foot outside the classroom, or even gazed out the window. The assignments and letters were all too much; all a result of everything that had happened over the past two years, including the end of the Death Eater revolts. Even previous letters from Fudge had somehow been stuck in the pile, long forgotten. They were pleas that Dumbledore be removed from his Headmaster position because of his "irresponsibility of informing the public of false lies." In a way, it was good what happened to Fudge. How he was now caged in the Ministry building probably being fed as lowly as the Death Eaters, wallowing in his guilt and insanity.
And Harry has to be the one to deal with him.
Remus shook his head and started on the smaller pile of papers, his last batch, sitting off to his right. The first and most important piece was on the top. It was an overview of next years term, which would be Harry, Ron and Hermione's last year at Hogwarts. It was something to look forward to all right. Not only would it be their most difficult year with classes and homework, testing their skills, but it would also be a surprise to see if it went normally. If so, it'd be the first year without any unnecessary interruptions.
Written at the very top of the page was the list of teachers they'd have for each class. Remus again found his name under the Dark Arts instructor. A small smile came over his face as he remembered his first year teaching there, when he first met Harry and his friends. It had been quite an adventure just watching them getting through their lives from day to day. It was true what they said for defense: trouble usually didfind them not the other way around.
He sighed and put the paper aside, going for the next one. He paused as he realized the next paper was an article from the Daily Prophet.
I wonder how this got in here. It must've gotten caught when Professor Mcgonagall was giving me these papers.
Remus was about to put it aside when he glanced up at the date. It was yesterdays paper, very recent. He hadn't seen the Daily Prophet for at least a month. Sirius had convinced him that Rita Skeeter had given up being the nosey woman she was. He had muttered something about a jar and Hermione, but that was all he got. Not that he wanted to know. Sirius usually had unnerving tricks up his sleeve, especially when it involved Harry or his friends.
Curiously, he picked it up and opened it to the font page. In bold letters read: Minister Gone Bad— Danger to Society
Oh no...it can't be! How did she find out?!
Remus swallowed the lump forming in his throat and read the whole article:
Just a few days ago, this reporter found out startling news. This is the first in a long time. It appears that ever since Harry Potter defeated you-know-who for the last time things have been quiet and Death Eaters have properly been sent to Azkaban to make sure they don't cause anymore trouble. But we all knew that total peace would be an impossible dream. Already, just a couple months after you-know-who's defeat our very own Minister, Cornelius Fudge, turned on us!
Yes, it's true. This reporter has seen and heard for herself just what has been going on under our noses. Former Minister Fudge was found in the room with the frozen Dark Lord clawing away at the binding spell our young Hero so bravely fought to secure him with. Whether or not Fudge was doing it because he worshiped the Dark Lord or wanted to see if he was real, is beside the point. Ministry members found him in the room surrounded by shattered ice...the Dark Lord was no where to be found, only his cloak remained. Has our former Minister released our destroyer once again, or is he gone for good? His wand is still secured in the Ministry as I speak, but does that secure our safety? Don't we all have a right to know when our lives are in danger?
Remus stopped reading, too sick to continue on. Rita Skeeter sure had a way of finding out confidential information. She also had a knack for scaring the world half to death. Hopefully no one would believe her, since most thought she was an over-exaggerative reporter, but he had no way of knowing for sure just how the public had reacted.
At least she didn't tell any fibs about Harry, that would only bring him more problems, which he doesn't need.
Remus sat there in thought staring at the paper. Something was nagging at him from the back of his mind, as if it was important somehow. The question that did burn darkly in his mind was: Was Voldemort really alive? And if he was, how long would it take before he was able to gain enough strength to take back his wand and try to get revenge on Harry? If it was years from now, Sirius and Remus might not even be around for Harry when he has his own family. They wouldn't be able to protect him...well, Remus did have some immortality and a longer lifespan since he was a werewolf, and Sirius was too stubborn to die at an average age. Still, it gave him a bad feeling, like it wasn't over yet. But it was, wasn't it? Voldemort was dead, or at least in hiding for now and Harry had a normal life, not counting the fact that he had to look after Fudge at the moment.
Remus didn't know what to think at the moment. All the paperwork sitting in front of him was getting in the way of his concentration. He'd have to talk with Sirius the moment he was done, which should be about when Sirius got back from meeting with Dumbledore up at another secret location the Ministry had. At the moment, most of the Ministry members were out taking care of the dark-dwelling creature problems, while at the same time searching for a very isolated place for the former Minister to stay where he would be sent food, somehow, where he also didn't need to be watched every minute. Last time he talked with Sirius the Ministry had been deciding on asking the giants to look after Fudge. Dumbledore and Sirius were with a few head Ministry members, not including Arthur Weasley who was due back from his vacation pretty soon, up at the other secret location outside of the country.
Sighing and pushing all his unsolved thoughts in the back of his mind, Remus made a note to get in touch with Sirius as soon as possible. Suddenly, he was feeling very uneasy with the whole situation. He then continued with his work, making sure he got it all done fast so he could ease his mind from his worries.
XXXXX
The darkness that was surrounding him was like an endless tunnel. The whole room was black with no light. He was sitting down looking from side to side, but each direction looked the same. Was he lost? Where was he? Maybe it was all just a dream...Maybe everything had been a dream. Getting a visit from the Ministry, saying goodbye to Sirius...seeing Fudge sitting there rotting away like a dead corpse while red eyes glowed at him from the shadows. Maybe it was all just a nightmare and he would wake up safe and sound in his large, cozy bed with Hedwig perched floating above his nightstand.
"Where am I?" his voice echoed throughout the darkness. No answer came. He was alone; alone and confused. He didn't understand what was happening to him. Suddenly, he could feel another presence. Harry tried to stand up but it felt like his legs were immobilized, preventing him from going anywhere. He heard echoing footsteps as a shadow emerged from the darkness. A long robe, dark piercing eyes and rough hair tied into a tight bun. The familiar stare gave Harry a sense of dé jà vu.
"I'm very disappointed in you, Mr. Potter!"
Her voice was cold and echoed against the darkness, but Harry didn't even notice. He stared up at her, his mouth slightly open as if he wanted to argue.
"Professor McGonagall?"
"Do you have any idea how much we've all been worried about you? We send you on an assignment and this is how you go about completing it? I gave you extra freedom with the sense that you would be more responsible," she glared down at him. "Perhaps I should take Mr. Malfoy up on his offer and not allow you so much freedom."
Harry shook his head, forgetting about his confusion and immobilized state.
"No, please! Give me another chance, I...I promise, I'll do better..."
"I believe I have given you plenty of chances! I have been more lenient with you than anyone else! We'll have to take this up with Dumbledore."
"No, wait! Professor!"
The shadows surrounded her as she began fading out, but before Harry could completely comprehend just what happened another figure appeared. This time it was Professor Snape, who sneered down at him.
"So, there you are Potter. Getting into trouble again I see. Just like your father. I knew that Dumbledore shouldn't have given you so much freedom, you tend to make matters worse."
"That's not true!" Harry shouted at him, clenching his fists. "I do not mess everything up!"
"You should be ashamed of yourself," Snape's image continued to taunt, as if he had never heard Harry's cry. "Everyone may think you're a famous hero, Harry, especially your benevolent Godfather, but I know the truth about you. You won't be able to hide under your mask forever."
The figure began withering away, but Harry forced himself to stand and ran at it, falling straight through it and landing on the cold floor with a thud.
"No, stop! You're lying!" he screamed, unable to control his emotions. It was suddenly as if his emotions were on overdrive, that all these figures were caused from his deepest and darkest fears and were driving his feelings to the surface. He couldn't control it.
Just as quickly as Snape appeared, three figures emerged about five feet away from him. The three familiar faces jeered down at him in a mocking manner.
"Well Potter what a fine mess you've gotten yourself into again," Malfoy's cold voice drawled, with Crabbe and Goyle nodding at his every word. "The famous Harry Potter really is just a small weak little boy. You shouldn't have even been given that title, you should've just died proudly with your family!" he laughed coldly. "If this world needs any saving, it won't be from you. Everyone you know you seem to curse with your bad luck and overly egotistical pride, that's why so many people were almost killed...because of you, Potter!"
"STOP!" Harry screamed, covering his ears, falling to his knees. He bit his lip and shut his eyes. He wasn't going to let Malfoy get to him, he was always over exaggerating situations. Harry tried to keep people out of his problems, he didn't want anyone to get hurt because of him. "I tried! I did everything I could!"
Harry opened his eyes, which were filled with sadness and regret, only to find the three figures replaced by the image of Cedric. Harry's eyes widened with horror and he backed away in the darkness, trying to get as far away from the image as possible. Cedric only looked at him with cold, repentant eyes. They seemed to have a very far-away look to them, but still he stared intently at Harry.
"I can't believe I actually told you to grab the Cup. You knew that was going to happen didn't you, Harry? You knew that it was a portkey!"
Harry shook his head, "No! Cedric, please...," Harry begged, feeling the pain and remorse building up inside of him. It was too much, all the memories, all the pain...Harry couldn't take it anymore. "I tried! I never wanted you to die!"
"You didn't try hard enough!" he snapped. "You left me there to die! Just to save your own miserable life!"
"...Please," Harry whispered as he felt tears well up in his eyes. All the emotions, all the trauma he had kept deep inside of him, always hiding his true emotions. He had never truly cried before. It was a new feeling for him. He had only let a few tears drop when Remus and him were talking about his family, but that was it. He never cried when Cedric died, he never cried when Sirius was supposedly doomed for a Dementor kiss. He never even cried when he thought his life might end whenever he landed in Voldemort's arms...never once had he let any of his emotions out. But it hurt...it hurt so much, but why couldn't he suppress it this time? Something was bringing everything out.
"You're nothing but a lie!" Cedric screamed. "You're not famous! You couldn't even save me! How do you expect to protect the world when you can't even protect your own friends?!"
Harry clenched his fists harder, his body shaking slightly. He refused to look up into Cedric's hurtful and devastating face. He wouldn't cry. He couldn't cry, he was trained to be strong, to fight anything and that included his own emotions. It wasn't true...he wasn't a killer. He wasn't like Voldemort.
"You think you're any better than him?" Cedric asked coldly, as if reading his mind. "You're just as bad as him, Harry. You share a bond with him, a bond that no one else, not even his Death Eaters, share with him. You and him are alike..."
"NO!" Harry screamed with frustration. "I'm not a killer! I'm not like him!"
He covered his ears and attempted to ignore everything, to just think about the good times. Being with Sirius, being with his friends, being at Hogwarts...But no good memories came. Nothing came to block out what he had been desperately trying to keep buried inside of him. He was vulnerable and clear for attack.
Cedric didn't reply, instead he just continued to stare coldly at him. When Harry finally looked up at him, hoping he would somehow forgive him for not being able to save him, Cho appeared at his side. Tears were streaming down her face as she stared at Harry, not coldly, but depressingly, which hurt him just as much.
"How could you? You're the famous Harry Potter!" she sobbed. "You are suppose to have great power! Why didn't you save him? Why?"
She burst into tears and Harry sat there shocked, wanting it to all desperately go away. He remembered her sadness in the Great Hall when they were honoring Cedric's death. No one had known anything about what happened, no one but Harry. He had to live through and live with the memories deep in the back of his mind. It would forever haunt him at night, even afterward when he was comfortably with Sirius. Cho's happy smile shattering into pieces as she crumbled in front of him, crying hysterically.
"Cho, please forgive me," he choked out. "I wanted to help him...but I couldn't. Please, please forgive me..."
"I'll never forgive you for this!" she shouted, sobbing harder. "Never!"
Harry's eyes widened as more pain engulfed him, as if he had suddenly been slapped. He reached out for her, to take her hand but she drifted away from him, getting farther and farther away until he could only watch from a distance as she collapsed to the floor crying her heart out. His hand was still in front of him, trying to reach out as he stared at her, frozen with the mixture of pain and guilt. He couldn't move or tear his eyes away from her for fear that she'd suddenly break into pieces.
He could feel an aching inside of him like he'd never felt before. It was building up as each image pushed his emotions farther and farther to the peak. He didn't feel so strong and brave anymore, but vulnerable and weak. As if his pain couldn't get any worse two very familiar figures appeared near him. He looked up at them, feeling as if his heart was suddenly turning to ice. He looked up, fear, pain and shock written on his features as the two pairs of eyes stared down at him, ready to attack...
TO BE CONTINUED...