A/N: Thanks to my beta darlawinifred. Keep reviewing, I love reviews.

Disclaimer, all characters other than baby Anthony belong to Joss Whedon and ME. The song "Sounds Like a Personal Problem" belongs to Ghost of the Robot

Chapter 7: Living Life

It was Saturday again. The past week passed uneventfully for Buffy.
She stayed in the house most the time so still hadn't met anyone
other than Giles, Spike and their immediate neighbours. Buffy filled
her days with looking after Anthony, relishing in being able to do so
without having to worry about what people, namely her parents, would think. It still hurt not to be able to say he was her son, but she
said it as often as possible when she was in the nursery with him.

Over the past few days, that night with Spike had played repeatedly
in her head. She was awed at his reaction to Anthony; she had been
even more surprised since then as he always tried to help her out
with the baby as best he could. She found it unbelievably sweet that
he was making such an effort, but she had no idea why he was. Of
course, he hadn't been around much during the day because he had
school and he had some sort of practice for some thing he had coming
up later in the week, but he always helped her in the evening when he
was home. They had also spent a lot of time talking after Anthony was
put down for the night and Buffy had found her prediction to be
correct. She was quickly falling for the young man but was determined never to act on the feelings. She felt it would be unfair to him, so she worked hard at being his friend. She had come to realize that most people had no idea who he really was. He put on an act of being the tough guy. But it wasn't true, he was a teenager who had been through a lot and put up a front so that he wouldn't be hurt. And
Buffy was in awe that for some reason he seemed to be allowing her to see who he really was. Later that day Buffy was in the nursery with Anthony. She was sitting on the rocking chair in the corner with him in her arms singing softly to him, when she heard a soft knock on the door. She looked up to see Spike standing in the doorway.

"Hi." she greeted him softly.

"Hey, how's the bit today?" he asked as he entered the room.

"He's good. He's just had his bottle, I was just trying to get him
back to sleep," she told him quietly.

"Can I try?" he asked with an unusual shyness and uncertainty that

Buffy wasn't used to by now.

"Of course" she put Anthony in his arms and stood to the side to let
him sit. She watched as he rocked Anthony back and forth in the chair
whispering to him sweetly.

"Hey there bit, you look kind of tired to me. Time to sleep, be good
for uncle Spike."

Buffy's breath hitched in her throat when she heard that. It wasn't
that she didn't like it she just wasn't expecting it. But she

realized that it had nothing to do with her, after all, he didn't
know that Anthony was hers. So, she let a smile cross her face as she
turned and headed out of the room. She returned a few minutes later
with a Polaroid camera, and snapped a picture before Spike realized
what she was doing. He looked up when he saw the flash, and grinned
at her. He looked down at the baby in his arms, and found him fast
asleep so he stood up and placed him in his crib and walked over to
Buffy.

"You know pet, that wasn't very nice."

"I'm sorry," she said, not sounding the least bit apologetic "but I
couldn't help myself. It was just too sweet looking."

"Ok," he smiled "Can I see it."

She picked the picture up from the changing table and handed it to
Spike, watching as a soft smile passed his handsome features. He
looked embarrassed as he spoke.

"Um, Buffy, do you think... would it be ok if I kept this?"

Spike found it hard to believe how attached he had become to the baby in just a week. It had started that first night when he saw the look
on Buffy's face as she held him, he had realised there was something
more to her story, but more importantly he could see how much she
cared about this child. So, he made an effort so that he could stay
close to her. However, he had found that he actually enjoyed spending
time helping take care of him, and had quickly started to develop a
bond with the little boy. Buffy noticed the uncertainty in his
features, she squeezed his arm, gave him a small smile and answered
him.

"Of course, you can keep it. It's all yours."

"Thank you." he replied genuinely.

They walked into the hall before Spike stopped and turned to her.

"Buffy." he started.

She looked at him waiting for him to go on

"I was wondering, I know you don't want to get involved and I won't
force the issue. But you still don't know anyone here, I was
wondering if you wanted to go to the Bronze with me tonight. As
friends obviously. I'll introduce you to some people, you can unwind
a bit.

"I'd love to." She said with a huge smile.

"Great." He said obviously pleased.

"But I feel guilty asking your dad to watch Anthony again it's my job
to look after him."

"Buffy you're his nanny but you're allowed a night off. Hell even
parents get that."

"Ok, I'll asked him." Spike's smile widened at her answer.

"Great well we leave at seven. See you later."

Giles had been more than happy to agree to look after Anthony for the
night so Buffy was now in her room getting dressed. Since they were
going as friends, she didn't want to be too dressed up, so she had
picked out one of her favourite outfits that she wore going out with
friends. She wore a pair of low-slung leather trousers; she teamed
them with another of her wide selection of halter-tops, her favourite
item of clothing when she was going out. This one was deep red and
sparkly. Her hair was slightly curled and left down, pooling around
her shoulders. She kept her make-up light and natural, finishing off
with a small amount of red lip-gloss. She gave herself a final look
in the mirror and after deciding that she looked ok, she headed
downstairs.

Spike was at the bottom of the of the stairs when she started down
them, and his eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw her. She
looked beautiful and he really wished that they were going as more
than friends. He smiled at her as he reached the bottom of the stairs.

"You look great, Luv."

She blushed and mumbled a quick, "Thank you."

She went to the living room to speak to Giles.

"Giles that's us leaving."

"Oh, yes, of course. You look lovely Buffy."

"Thank you," she smiled "I'll try not to be too late." She said
turning to Giles.

"Please don't worry about it. Just have fun."

"I'll try." she smiled and walked over. She took Anthony from him and gave him a quick kiss on the head before handing him back to Giles.

"Giles, call my cell if you need me for anything."

"I won't need anything. Now go, have fun."

"Ok, ok, we're going. Bye Giles."

"Goodnight Buffy."

"Night dad." Spike chimed in.

They turned and walked out the door heading for the club.

The Bronze

They two teens walked into the busy club together. She noticed a lot
of people their age around, sitting at tables talking and laughing.
There was a dance floor where some kids were dancing to music that
was coming from a DJ or the stereo system. They all seemed to be
having fun. Spike led her to a booth in the corner of the club where
she saw a group of people sitting.

"Hey guys." Spike said as they approached.

The people at the table turned to them and smiled. A boy with brown
hair and eyes and a friendly smile spoke up first

"Hey, Spike how's it going'?"

"Alright, whelp." He smirked. They boy just grinned and Spike started
the introductions.

"Ok, Buffy these are my friends. That one there," he told her
pointing at the boy who had spoke when they first came in "is Xander.
He's a bit of a goof but he's alright."

"Hey." he said to her.

"Hi." she said with a small wave.

Spike continued, he pointed to a shy looking red head and a boy with
dark blue hair

"This is Willow and her boyfriend Oz. Willow is a genius, and really
shy but she's a gem. And Oz. Well he's Oz he doesn't talk much."

Willow giggled nervously.

"H- Hi, it's um, n-nice to meet you." She held out her hand and Buffy
shook it. Oz nodded at her as greeting.

"Guys," Spike went on "this is Buffy."

"Well Buffy," Xander spoke up "Spike's told us all about you. You've made quite an Impression our boy here."

"Can it whelp." Spike gritted out.

"Ignore him Buffy," Willow laughed "he just likes to embarrass Spike."

Buffy smiled gratefully at the red head that had managed to make her
feel more at ease. She was surprised by the yelp she heard.

"Oh gosh, I'm so sorry Buffy, I'm being so rude. Sit down please. Oh
I'm so sorry" Willow babbled.

"Don't worry about it." Buffy reassured her with a warm smile.

Spike was still standing and Buffy was about to say something when he spoke first

"Hey Oz, we need to go. We have that thing to do."

Oz only nodded and stood up giving Willow a peck on the cheek

"Where are you going?" Buffy asked .

"That's a surprise Luv. You'll find out soon enough." He answered,
shooting a look at the other two occupants at the table before
walking away. Buffy turned back to his friends.

"So, um, are you guys at school with Spike?"

"Yeah." Willow replied "We have a class or two together but that's
because I have a few senior classes. But we're juniors. I just do

well in... school." she blushed.

"So, Buff." Xander cut in "Are you going to be starting school with
us soon?"

"Um, no actually. I'm working as a nanny for Spike's dad." she
answered, her nervousness evident in her voice.

"But you're only sixteen. Right?" Willow asked.

"Yeah."

"So you should be at school."

"I really don't mind." Buffy insisted "My friend wanted me to look
after her son, I wasn't doing great in school so I thought, what the
hell."

The two teens could tell she felt uncomfortable in the conversation,
so Xander changed the subject.

"So what was it like living in LA?"

"It was ok. The shopping was fantastic, but the people were so
superficial, it was hard to know who was a fake and who was genuine." she told them her thoughts drifting to Angel.

"What," Xander exclaimed "you mean some people in LA have real
noses?" he joked.

This broke the ice and Buffy immediately felt at ease. This started a
round of conversation, and joking, and Buffy had decided that she
liked the two. She already felt like she had another two friends. The
banter continued until they heard a voice over the microphone. Buffy
turned around and was surprised to see Spike on the stage holding a
guitar, Oz was there also, in his hand was a bass guitar ' so that's
what he was practicing' she thought. She had to admit she was
pleasantly surprised. She sat back in her seat waiting for Spike to
speak.

"Hey everybody." he called out over the microphone "the first song
we're gonna sing tonight is one I just wrote a few days ago. I think
it's something most of us are gonna feel at some point. I want to
dedicate it to my new friend."

Buffy smiled inwardly knowing he meant her, while Willow and Xander looked at each other knowingly. Surprised as she had been when she had seen him on the stage, it didn't compare to her surprise when she heard him start to sing.

What is this crap, I'm going through,

where am I at, and who are you,

to make me feel, like I'm so scared,

caught me off-guard, was not prepared,

for you,

so smart, so cool,

to me,

life seems, it shouldn't be this way.

His voice was deep and seductive. He used every part of the stage,
looking directly at the stage as he sang. The only word Buffy could
think of to describe it was hypnotic. She felt herself being pulled
in. Paying perfect attention to the words.

Spike thought of her as he sung the words. He wrote it to get out how
he felt about her, as an explanation. Also, because he wanted to
show her he wanted to know what she was hiding. He looked at her from the corner of his eye for the entire song.

So here I am, and there you are,

sitting so close, feeling so far,

from me and I, can't figure out,

what I should say, what's this about,

to you,

to smart, to cool,

for me,

life seems, it shouldn't be this way...

When the song finished, Buffy clapped with the rest of the crowd. She
couldn't believe how talented he was. She stood up to greet him as
he came back to the table

"You were great." she said enthusiastically.

"Thanks, Luv." she thought she saw a slight blush was he said this.

"I had no idea you could sing like that."

"Well now you do." He said with a beautiful smile showing.

He sat down beside her and they talked for another two hours. It was
two hours of fun and Buffy finally felt like she could fit in
somewhere. But she did miss her son, and more than ever she wanted to be able to tell them the truth. After two hours, Spike turned to her,

"Think we should be going pet."

"Yeah you're right. "

She turned her new friends and thanked them for being so welcoming.

"Oh Buffy, here's my phone number. Give me a call and we'll go
shopping or something." Willow said excitedly "It's gonna be great
having another girl around."

Buffy smiled at her. "I will. Goodbye guys."

Everyone said goodbye to each other and Buffy and Spike headed out of the club. Once they were outside Spike started talking.

"So what'd you think?"

"It was great" she replied honestly "you're friends are really nice.
Willow is the best. And you were fantastic."

"Thanks pet, well let's get you home."

As they started towards home Buffy spoke softly.

"Do you know what tonight made me realize?" she asked him

"What?"

"It's time to stop wondering about what could have been. I can't keep
wallowing like I have been. It's time to start living life"

"I think you're right, Luv." he said, "I think you're right."

They walked the rest of the way in comfortable silence.