A/N: thanx to everyone who has reviewed this story so far. Please keep reviewing, cos i love reviews.
Anon: Thanx so much for the compliment. I hope you enjoy the chapter.
Chapter 8: Birthady Kisses
Two months had passed since Buffy and Anthony had come to Sunnydale. In those two months, she had come to look on the people she met as her family. And a better family than her real one. She was incredibly close to Willow; they spoke on the phone every night and went out for the day at least once a fortnight. She had come to look on Xander as the brother she never had. Giles she had come to look at as the father she always wished she had, one who actually cared about her. And then there was Spike, she could try to pretend that she only felt friendship for him, but she knew that was not how she really felt. In the time she had known him, she had fallen head over heels. She could talk to him about anything, she felt increasingly guilty that he
still didn't know about Anthony and she wanted to tell him the truth
more with each passing day. They spent most of their spare time
together, staying up to the small hours talking. Spike was also
becoming closer to Anthony taking him walks and helping her out as
much as possible. She couldn't count the number of times she had
wished he was his father. She was surprised one night to find that
Spike had actually framed the picture she had taken of him with
Anthony that first week. He really did seem to care about the little
boy. And now, it was the day before her seventeenth birthday. She
wouldn't see Spike or Giles today because they both had things to do,
but what it was she had no idea. So, Willow was coming by to make
plans for her birthday. She was busy cleaning her room when the
doorbell rang. She ran downstairs and opened the door.
"Hey Will" she greeted cheerfully.
"Hey Buff" came the chirpy reply.
"Come on in Will, just go up to my room, I'm going to check on
Anthony," she told her as she headed back up the stairs.
Willow followed her and went into Buffy's room while Buffy headed for the nursery. After seeing that Anthony was still sleeping soundly she headed back to her room. She went in and saw Willow sitting on her bed waiting for her.
"Hey Will, what's up?" she asked her friend.
"Nothing much, is Anthony asleep?" Willow asked.
"Yeah, he's out like a light. So what's the plan for tomorrow?" Buffy
asked.
"Well it's a Buffy birthday, so I think I should ask you that."
"I don't know what I want to do this year, I mean I won't see my
parents but that's ok. Just not going to be the kind of birthday I'm
used to," she said.
Willow looked sympathetic and said.
"Oh, Buff, don't be sad we'll try and make it a good birthday for you"
"I'm not sad. This is probably going to be the best birthday I've had
in a while. I may not be with my parents, but I will be with my
family." she said smiling at her friend.
Willow looked at her friend, tears glistening in her eyes.
"Buffy that's so sweet. You know we all love you right?"
"I know," she said, "I love you guys too."
The two girls just sat for a moment before Willow asked what she had
wanted to ask since that first night at the Bronze.
"Buffy, how do you feel about Spike?"
Buffy was surprised at how sudden the enquiry was and looked away
nervously as she answered.
"He's one of my best friends, of course I like him."
"Buffy, that's not what I meant and you know it. Tell me, and don't
lie. Do you see this face, it's my resolve face and I want the truth."
Buffy sighed and answered the question as honestly as she could
without having to admit that she loved him.
"Will, I like Spike, I really do. But there are a lot of reasons why
I can't do anything about it."
"Buffy Summers" Willow scolded "you should know by now that Spike is a good guy. He really likes you; it's obvious to everyone. He won't hurt you if that's what you're afraid of."
"It's not." she replied, "It's just a really complicated situation, a
lot of stuff that I can't go into, but I can't be with Spike. I'm
more worried about hurting him."
"Ok" Willow said "but he really does care for you. He wants you to
have a special birthday you know. Wanted to know what you wanted to do so that he could arrange it."
Buffy was gob smacked at the revelation. She had no idea that Spike
would do that for her.
"Well, I really just want something simple, you know all my friends
around me. Just being together and having fun. I've never had that
before. In LA, everything had to be extravagant. I don't want that
anymore," she told her friend.
"Ok, one nice quiet birthday, check" the redhead giggled.
"So how's things with you and Oz?" Buffy asked her friend.
"Oh, really good" she replied excitedly, "he's just so sweet and
nice. And sweet."
Buffy couldn't help laughing at how worked up her friend got when she talked about her boyfriend. They had been together for months before Buffy even got there but Willow still acted as if it was the
honeymoon period. However, Buffy found it endearing, The girls spent the rest of the afternoon gossiping until they heard Anthony's crying over the monitor.
"Well." willow said standing up "I should probably get going, looks
like you have work to do."
"Yeah, said Buffy as she went to collect Anthony from the
nursery "he's due a bottle. And I know he's two months old but he
still sleeps most of the day and nights as well now"
Willow just looked at her funny when she said this
"I wasn't complaining" she defended.
She walked downstairs carrying Anthony so she could say goodbye to
Willow.
"Buffy" willow said suddenly "I know why you say you keep working as Anthony's nanny and I'll accept that. However, I do think there's
something else going on. I just want you know you can tell me
anything."
"I know" she replied honestly.
"Well, see you tomorrow Buff" Willow said as she walked out the door
"See you later, Will" Buffy called as she closed the door and headed
back upstairs.
For the rest of the day Buffy busied herself taking care of her son.
She gave him his bottle after Willow left and now it was time to give
him his bath. She lay him in his crib and went to the bathroom to
fill the baby bath. She filled the bath with water and took it back
to the nursery. After she had done that she sat on the rocker bouncing him on her knee talking to him.
"You know little man; you are starting to get a little heavy. But you
are also getting more and more handsome every day. Count yourself
lucky you don't look like your dad. You know I love you don't you
sweetie. One day we'll tell everyone the truth."
She looked at him and saw a slight smile on his face.
"Oh look at that smile" she said excitedly "you are a gorgeous
little thing. My beautiful little boy."
"You know, that's not too hard to believe." a voice interrupted.
She looked around to see Spike standing by the door grinning at her.
"You love to do that, don't you?" she scolded playfully.
"Well you know me Luv" he replied, "I'm the big bad, it's my job to
scare people."
"Yeah, yeah" she laughed, "so what wouldn't be so hard to believe?"
"That he was your little boy," he told her seriously.
The smile left her face at that moment as she let Spike's words sink
in. She wondered if he knew, if maybe he had heard her talking to
Giles, but she knew that wasn't possible. She was always careful
about talking about it. She just looked at him and answered.
"Don't be silly Spike, he has a mother and he's going to know all
about her."
"I know, I was just saying that you are the one who does everything
for him, it wouldn't be hard to believe" he said
"Well, he's not mine, but I love him like he was so I'll keep taking
care of him as long as Giles wants." denying her son broke her heart
but she knew that she didn't have any other choice. For now.
By the time they had finished, she found that Anthony had fallen asleep again and so she put him back in his crib and turned to leave the room.
"He is a beautiful child."
Buffy was shocked at the sound of Spike's voice.
"Yeah," she agreed "he really is."
They left the room together said their goodnights and left to go to
their rooms. Buffy lay awake for long time thinking about Spike's
words and the things Willow had told her earlier and wondered what
would happen when they all finally knew, she couldn't wait for her
next birthday, when the truth could finally be revealed.
The next night Buffy was sitting in the living room with Giles
waiting for her friends to arrive, once they did Giles was taking
Anthony out for the night to a friend's house so that Buffy could
have the night aloe with her friends. She had spent her time during
the day with Anthony, she took him out in his pram, and walked around the park. Revelling in the time alone. Now she was waiting for
everyone to arrive. Spike had to pop out but promised to be back
soon. She came back to reality when her friends came through the door.
Spike was wandering about the streets of Sunnydale. He had to get out for a while. He was more nervous than he had expected about giving Buffy her birthday gifts. He had gotten her a few things, one that he could give at her party and a few other special gifts that he would give her later. But, he had to go back now, everyone would be there.
Buffy looked up when she heard the door open ten minutes after
everyone else had arrived and smiled when she saw Spike come in.
"Hey pet, sorry I'm late."
"That's ok." she chirped.
He leaned down to give her a kiss on the cheek.
"Happy Birthday, pet."
"Thank you" she beamed at him.
"Well." said Xander "Let's get this party started."
They spent the next few hours playing the usual party games since it
wasn't anything Buffy had ever really done before. And Spike wanted
her to experience it. She was having a whale of a time and now they
were playing truth or dare.
"Ok, it's my turn." Xander said "Spike, truth or dare."
"Bloody hell, truth." he grumbled.
"Ok," said Xander happily "how many times did you sleep with Dru last year?"
Buffy looked away from the others not sure if she wanted to hear this
and Spike looked at Xander furiously.
"Bloody hell you wanker, I'm not answering that." he yelled.
"You have to, you chose truth, it's the rules." laughed Xander.
"Bugger, ok, loads, we were at it like rabbits. Happy now?"
Buffy felt tears stinging at her eyes when she heard Xander continue.
"Come on man, give us a straight answer." he complained
"Yeah." chimed in Willow "You have to tell us."Spike looked over at
Buffy and saw the hurt look on her face. He had been lying through
his teeth and seeing the look on her face, he knew he had to admit
it. He blushed furiously as he turned back to answer the question
"Never." he told them
When he answered, he saw a group of gaping faces.
"What, how is that possible? You were together for the best part of a
year" exclaimed Xander.
"I know that," he said exasperated "that's why she cheated on me. But
we never slept together."
"But then that means..." Xander left the rest of the sentence hanging
in the air. His shock evident
"No it doesn't." admitted Spike.
This got a response from Willow.
"But if you didn't sleep with Drusilla, then when and who? Spike
we've never seen you with anyone else."
"I know." he said quietly "it was before I came here. I was fifteen,
there was a lot of heartache following it.. That's one of the main
reasons I didn't sleep with Drusilla. I didn't want that hurt again."
he finished sadly.
Everyone sat quietly before the silence was broken.
"So who's for presents?" asked Xander.
Buffy looked around at her gifts, it wasn't much but it meant more to
her than any gifts had before. From Xander there was a stuffed animal
because he knew she collected them but hadn't been able to bring many from LA, he had also given her a couple of CD's. Willow and Oz had gotten her a sweater she had seen at the mall that she had really like and a few DVD's. Now it was time for Spike's gift. He hadn't wanted to give her anything to showy in front of the others, so he handed her what he had picked out to give her at that point. She
looked at the wrapping, and started to open the gift. It was a
collection of books on interior design and photography. She loved
them.
"I just remember you said they interested you." Spike said shyly.
"I love them, Spike. Thank you." she went over to him and leaned down to give his cheek a kiss.
"Thank you all guys. This has been the best birthday I've had in a
long time" she said truthfully.
Half an hour later, everyone was gone and only she and Spike were left. The phone rang and she went to answer it. She came back in to the living room looking bemused.
"Who was that pet?" Spike asked as she re-entered the room.
"Giles, he said that he was going to stay over at his friends house
and not to worry about Anthony he has enough stuff with him. Did he
plan this?" she accused.
Spike looked at her sheepishly before answering.
"He just wanted you to have a quiet night, be able to relax. Have a
night off from being the nanny. And we know you like it, but you
deserve a break." he told her.
"Ok, I'll let it go." she grinned.
"So Luv, want to get something to drink and then we head upstairs to
talk?" he asked
"Sure." she answered.
They prepared their drinks and went upstairs and Spike went to his
room to get her gifts. When he went back to her room she was changed in to her, pyjama's and sitting cross-legged on the bed. He sat down beside her ands she eyed the presents curiously.
"Yes pet, they're yours but you have to wait a bit before you get to
open them" he scolded
"Spoil sport." she grumbled.
"Ok let's talk." he said "Did you enjoy your birthday?"
It was great." she said genuinely "can I have my gifts now?"
He smiled at her.
"Ok I suppose you can have one." he said as he picked up a small box
and handed it to her. She didn't wait long before ripping in to the
paper. She opened the box and inside lay a beautiful Celtic cross
necklace with an amethyst stone in the middle.
"Oh my god, Spike it's beautiful." she exclaimed.
"A beautiful necklace for a beautiful girl." he told her with a smile
playing on his lips.
"Now." he continued "I didn't want to give these gifts to you when
the others were here. These ones are to show you how special you are
to me." He said shyly.
She looked at him and said.
"You're special to me too Spike."
He gave her a look that said those were the greatest words he had
ever heard before she continued
"Spike can I ask you something?"
"Fire away pet."
"Well, what did you mean when you said there was a lot of heartache
after your first time?" she asked.
"I don't think you want to know the answer to that pet. Here open
your other present"
She opened the wrapping and gasped at what lay inside, there lay a
photograph that had been taken only earlier that week of Buffy, Spike
and Anthony at the park. They, along with Giles had taken Anthony a
walk to the park and had stopped to sit on the grass and enjoy the
sun. She had taken Anthony out of his pram and she and Spike were
playing on the grass with him when he started to get restless. Buffy
had held him while Spike sang and the picture had been taken by Giles
after he had fallen asleep, Buffy still held Anthony while Spike sat
beside her looking at him, both with content smiles on their faces.
The picture sat in a simple silver frame. Tears sprang to her eyes
when she thought how much they looked like a family and couldn't help ut wish it were true.
"You don't need to keep that picture in it." he told her nervously "
I just thought.."
"Spike, this is the most beautiful gift anyone has ever given me. I
wouldn't change anything about it for the world. Thank You" she told
him as a lone tear slid down her face
"You're welcome." he replied.
"Buffy, do you still want answer to the question you asked earlier."
he asked softly
"If you want to give me one."
"Ok, but don't say anything until I've finished I've never told
anyone this"
"I won't." she promised.
"Ok then" he started "I was fifteen and we still lived in England. I
met a girl named Cecily and I fell for her. I fell hard. I was a bit
of a geek back then but I wasn't all that unpopular so she would
associate with me." He pause for a moment to think of the right words before continuing
ne night, we had a bit to drink but we weren't
drunk. I just felt a bit more at ease. So, we were talking and having
a good time and she asked me to go upstairs with her. I was crazy
about her and so I did. I knew she had a few boyfriends. She wasn't
virginal by any stretch of the imagination. I wasn't sure about it
but I really liked her so when she kissed me I kissed her back. As
they say one thing led to another and we slept together. She left
straight afterwards."
He stopped talking and she thought he was finished so she opened her
mouth to speak but he put a finger to her lips and started speaking
again.
"I didn't see much of her over the next few weeks, and then some
rumours stared going around. I knew they involved me so I went to
speak to her. When I got to her house, her brother attacked me. Then
her father came out grabbed me by the arm and pushed me inside. My
dad was already there. I sat down and the next thing her father was
screaming at me, calling me scum and saying I had ruined his
daughter's life. I had no idea what he was talking about.
He stopped to take a breath and reign in his emotions.
"Anyway, I had no idea what he was talking about. And then she came
in. She looked at me with a look of pure hatred telling me I had done
it to her, they still hadn't told me what exactly. They did then, she
was pregnant. I had no idea what to do or say. I told them I'd do
what I could to help her and the baby, she laughed in my face and
told me that as of the next day there wouldn't be a baby. My heart
broke into a million pieces when she said that. She stood by what she
said. She killed my baby."
He broke down in tears in speaking those last words and Buffy's tears
were not far behind. She did the only thing she could to comfort him,
she put her arms around him and held him close, crying with him. And
hating that girl for what she did to this wonderful, caring man. She
knew then that she was in love with him. They sat like that for about
ten minutes before breaking apart.
"I'm sorry." he said. Embarrassed at having cried in front of her.
"No, don't dare apologize. You've been hurt in a way that no-one
should ever be hurt so cry and don't feel bad about it" she told him
gently.
"I guess." he said "that photo just makes me think about the family
I wish I could have had. I don't use Anthony as a replacement just so
you know. I honestly love that little boy. It's just."
"I know." she soothed.
"Buffy I have to tell you something. I know you don't want to hear it
but I have to say it. Buffy I love you. I'm in love with you. Have
been since the first day you got here. I won't force this it's just
important that you know." he told her.
Looking in his eyes, she could tell he spoke nothing but the truth.
"I know, but there are lot of things I need to sort out in my head,
but I do care for you please know that." she told him .
He looked at her, both of them were being guided by their emotions at
the moment and what happened next was inevitable. They looked at eachother, both knowing how much they loved the other and simultaneously eaned closer together. Their lips met in a soft kiss. After amoment, the kiss deepened and Spike swept his tongue across her lip
and she opened her mouth to let his tongue inside. They kissed until
they needed air. They looked at one another and leaned in, the second
kiss more urgent. Buffy stopped suddenly
"Spike, maybe we shouldn't do this." she said.
"Buffy please just give me tonight."
She looked up at him tentatively, he noticed her look and reassured
her
"We don't have to do that. I'll be happy just to hold you, but Buffy
I love you and I need to be with you tonight. Whatever way you'll let
me"
"Ok "she said with a smile.
They leaned in and kissed again, laying back on the bed. They wrapped
their arms around each other and shared one last kiss, the lay
wrapped in each other and thinking only of each other.