Key: "normal speech"
[panda signs]
my thoughts at the moment
^^^lapse in time or scene change^^^
Disclaimer: (looks around) Nope . . . (still looking) Nahun . . . I still don't own anything of importance, and I am not making any money off of this fic. (does a Soun wail) I WANT MONEY! I WANT TO BE FAMOUS!
Louis Tanent: He's starting to rant again . . .
GSO-Techu6: you desire for me to restrain him?
Death: Nay, when before he descended into such a span of madness it required a week and a trio of trusted companions to revert him back to uniformity.
Me: (darkly) If I remember correctly, the reason I had gone mad then was because you guy had tried to forcefully breakout.
Everyone else: (sweatdrops) Ehhhh . . . (begin performing 'The Crouch of the Wild Tiger') We're Sorry! We're Sorry! We're Sorry! We're Sorry! We're Sorry! We're Sorry! We're Sorry!
Me: (back to normal) Anyway . . . can you believe it . . . Four chapters already . . . (back to delusional state) I may actually be (gasp) a writer!
Scarabmon: (appearing from behind Death's robe) so . . . Techu . . . you were saying something about using restraints...
Vanagar Intetor: (to the audience) while the others are fitting the author for a strait jacket, allow me to introduce part 4 of 'Will They Ever Learn?' . . .
CHAPTER 4:
SHOWDOWN AT FURINKAN HIGH
I was awakened by the sun glaring through the window. This, at first, seemed odd until I realized that Pop was in no condition to spar this morning after mom's little 'discussion' with him and Mr. Tendo last night.
*****flashback*****
Nodoka is sharpening her katana in front of Mr. Tendo and Genma (in panda form) in the dojo. The other residents are observing the whole scene from Nabiki's laptop in her room.
"Now," Nodoka said in a calm, but sharp, voice. "I talked with Ranma and Akane and the engagement between them will stand, but the wedding will not be held until 'they' say they are ready, understand?" Panda soup seasoned with a hint of crybaby . . .
"Yes, Nodoka," [Yes, Dear] were the responses coming from the two figures in front of her. Currently, both were performing the 'Crouch of the Wild Tiger' technique.
"Good," Came her reply with an overly nice smile. "Soun, if you would be so kind, I would like to have a word alone with my husband."
Soun gave a cheesy grin and bowed as he made a hasty departure. Panda barbeque, anyone?
It was then that Kasumi closed the laptop, to everyone else's complaint. "I do believe we should honor Mrs. Saotome's request also." That statement quickly diffused all of our protest, as we quietly went to our separate rooms.
*****end flashback*****
I yawned, did a few stretches, and got dressed, careful to put on my long-sleeve shirt. Panda snores I can sleep through, panda screams . . . that is a whole other story.
As I was leaving my room (careful not to waken my mother), I saw Akane leaving her room wearing what could only be her jogging outfit.
Time to feign ignorance. "Morning, Akane. Wha'ch doing up so early?"
Startled, she turned around with a slight gasp. "Oh, good morning Ranma. I was just going out for my morning jog." She gave me an inquisitive look, "How about you? I thought I was the only one who would wake up so early."
"Well, Pops usually wakes me up early for morning sparing," I started to say as we headed downstairs. "Unfortunately he is in no condition to fight today," I said while pointing to the lump of fur lying down next to table. You reap what you sow, Pops
"Why don't you join me on my jog?" She asked as we headed out the front door. "It'll also allow you to get to see the town some more."
"Sure," I said as we left the dojo perimeter and set out at a light pace. "Maybe afterwards you and me could spar a little."
She gave me a sarcastic little smirk. "Is the great Ranma Saotome going to suppress his pride by fighting with a lowly martial artist such as myself?"
I returned the smirk, "Sarcasm doesn't become you, Akane."
^^^later at breakfast^^^
"School?" Of course I asked while finishing off my breakfast.
"Well, you are going to be staying a while. Especially since you are engaged to Akane." Mom said while sitting on top of the panda. Pop, in panda form, added to the conversation by holding up three signs. [Wait! Don't go!] [Help me!] [She may want to TALK again!]
"It's the same school me and Akane go to." Nabiki stated while walking through the door behind me. "I'll see both of you there." She then disappeared out the front door.
A few minutes later, Akane came through the same door. "Where is Nabiki?" she said, a little out of breath.
"Oh, she's already gone to school," I said while checking my supplies. "By the way, I need you to show me were the school is." It was then that Akane looked over at the clock.
"Oh No! Were going to be late. Come on Ranma!" Before I could blink, Akane grabbed me by the pigtail, grabbed both of our bags, and dashed out the front door.
"Have a good day at school son!" Mom yelled as we zoomed out the gate. One can only hope
After spending a few seconds imitating a windsock, I got the attention of my pilot. "Hay, Akane! Could you put me down or would you prefer to continue using me as a human kite."
She slowed down enough that gravity took hold of me again but didn't say a word. "Now, mind telling me how we're going to be late if we got there about an hour before the late bell rings."
"Ok, but keep moving," Akane said while speeding back up. "Every morning, before classes, I get challenged to a fight . . ."
"Oh, really, by who? I interrupted. As if I don't know
"Nearly the entire male population of Furinkan High School," she continued flatly. Hentai horde… those bakas
". . . You're kidding me, right Akane? . . . Akane?" I was being ignored because we just arrived within sighting distance of the school and hearing distance of what could only be described as a mob.
"There she i . . .!", "Date with me Akane Ten . . .!", and "I shall defeat you!" Were just some of the sounds coming from the various boys at the front gate. All this yelling was punctuated by them saying together, "LET'S GET HER!"
I decided to observe the slaughter (it couldn't possibility be called a battle) from the top of the wall next to the gate. Best seat in the house Akane plowed through the various perverts with such force that she resembled a tornado more than a person. Even the ones with some martial arts training, easily identified by their gis, didn't stand a chance.
"Ranma!" Nabiki yelled from the second floor of the main building. "Get in this school! Now!"
"Just a second," I yelled back. "This is interesting!"
The whole incident finally ended when the weight lifter was K.O.ed by his own barbell.
"For Pete's sake. Every morning," Akane sighed as she caught her breath and brushed her long hair back. "What a drag."
It was then I heard the voice I've been dreading since I came to this dimension. "Truly. Such a boorish lot." Not so much as the pig that leads them He came across the yard in all his 'glory' chewing on the stem of a rose and dressed in kendo robes, minus the armor. "Evidently each of them intends to ask you out, Akane . . ." Fat chance . . . ". . . on the dawn that he finally DEFEATS you." . . . in Hades
"Oh, Upperclassman," Akane said dryly. "Good morning." Sarcasm was poured into every syllable of those simple words.
"And now, Akane Tendo . . ." the pig flung his rose into Akane's hand, ". . . might you fight with me?" and pointed his bokken at her.
I decided it was time to get directly involved. "Hay, Akane, Are you almost done? Class is about to begin and . . ."
"You there!" I suddenly had a bokken pointed at me, less than a foot from my face. "You are being quite familiar with Akane." There was a rumble in the background.
"Of course, after all we're . . . mumph . . ." my words were halted by Akane's hand over my mouth.
"Not here, baka," my fiancée whispered so that only I could hear, "and not in front of HIM."
"Who are you, boor?" The idiot continued, ignoring Akane's actions. "Ah! But it is the custom to give one's own name first! Fine then! Mine I shall give!"
I rubbed the bridge of my nose, "If it makes you feel better . . ." I wish I didn't have to listen to him ramble
"My name . . ." the crazy kendoist started to rant. ". . . is upperclassman Kuno. Junior. Group E. Captain of the Kendo Club. Undefeated new star of the high school fencing world. But my peers call me . . . the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!" As if nature was agreeing with him, a lightening bolt struck in the distance. I should probably figure out how he made that storm appear
"Well then, I'm Ranma Saotome, Heir to the Saotome School of Anything-Goes Martial Arts," I countered as I put my bookbag down. "As for how I know Akane . . . Well I am staying at the Tendo training hall . . ."
"What?!" Kuno took a diagonal swing at me, which I dodged. "Under the same roof as AKANE?!" Duh
"Watch my bag for a sec Akane," I said as I landed. "As for you Kuno . . . I accept your challenge!"
Another lightening bolt appeared in the sky.
"So you scoundrel, hounding Akane, eh?" Kuno said as he took a step forward. "I, Upperclassman Kuno, shall bring you to justice!"
I scowled and took an offensive stance. "Shut-up, baka, and fight."
Kuno charged forward with an over-head strike meant to cleave my head in half, but instead cleaved the wall that was behind me. Meanwhile, I snuck behind him and into another offensive stance, left hand forward, and two fingers pointed at him. When Kuno finally turned around to face me, I jabbed my fingers straight at his forehead. Time to show off some When I was done with my creative writing, I stepped forward and rammed my knee into his gut followed by elbow into his back. Kuno fell before he had a chance to cry out in pain.
To quote Vash the Stampede . . . "Just no skill," I said while walking toward Akane who had a blank look on her face.
"DEMON!" huh . . . I thought I just knocked him out
I spun around to see Kuno in mid-swing of another overhead strike. I don't have time to dodge!
"Ranma, look out!" Akane yelled.
Acting fast, I brought my wrist together over my head and waited until the bokken was within a millimeter of from them.
"I will smite you," declared Kuno with venom in his voice.
Within the next few seconds, I brought my hands shoulder-width apart, blocked the strike, returned my hands to their original position, and planted a sidekick into Kuno's chest.
The blow caused him to skid along the school grounds and come to a stop at the base of a tree.
Kuno brought his head up and propped himself up on one elbow. "Saotome . . . I . . . fight . . . unnn . . ." It was then that his eyes rolled back into his head as he lapsed into unconsciousness. Curiously, the sky decided to start clearing up right then.
I turn back to face Akane again, who looked back at me with a wide-eyed, blank look on her face. Probably trying to comprehend all she just saw
Riiiinnnnnnngggggggggggg!
That sound broke us out of our reverie as we both ran into the school at high speeds.
^^^In homeroom class^^^
"Well, it does seem to be true that you were in China until recently," The teacher stated in a monotone voice as I stood at the front of the classroom observing the other students. "But that doesn't change the fact that both you and Akane Tendo . . ." Akane and I both suddenly found ourselves with two buckets, each . . . ". . . were late. Stand in the hall." . . . and out in the hallway.
After a few moments of silence, Akane glared at me through the corner of her eye and said, "Ok, spill it."
"What?"
"When you blocked Kuno's last attack, I saw a flash of something in your hands," She turned her head toward me to further her glare. "And don't say that you just used a technique because his blow would have at least left a bruise on your arms."
"Oh, that?" I smiled back at her as I rolled my wrist around and nudged my right sleeve up to reveal a wristband holding down a small metal rod.
"What is that?" Akane asked, quiet enough to so that the teacher couldn't hear.
"'That', my dear Akane, is a retractable metal rod," I rolled my sleeve back down. "I always wear one as a Just-in-case defensive tool." at least after I merged
Akane lowered her head, shaking it back and forth, while an odd grin played across her face. "You are a strange one, Ranma Saotome. Whenever I think I understand you, you do something new." Just wait till she finds out about the Neko-ken or the Dragon Whisker
"Speaking of strange, what did Kuno mean by '. . . intends to ask you out, on the dawn that he finally defeats you'?" I said while staring at the far wall.
My fiancée, at the sound of my question, brought her head up, bared her teeth, a glared at the wall. Good, she is directing her anger at them instead of me "Kuno told them at the beginning of the year . . . 'If you wish to take Akane out . . . DEFEAT her! I will permit no other terms!'" She turned her head to look squarely at my face. "The end result is what you saw this morning."
I just shook my head and sighed, being sure that she heard me. "And here I thought I was clueless about women . . ." Akane seemed to release some of her anger because of my choice of words, and smiled crept onto her face as she looked in my direction again. ". . . but Kuno makes me look like an expert." In response, my fiancée thanked me for my choice of words with a big smile. I would do almost anything to see that smile
We both turned our heads to the left when we heard a slight shuffle and the tapping of a staff. "Well, well . . . speak of the buffoon . . ." was Akane's commit as Kuno limped around the corner, using his bokken as a cane. . . . and he will come.
"Ranma Saotome . . . (pant) you foul demon . . . (pant) (pant)" came Kuno's voice from behind the hair hanging over his face. "Never . . . (pant) (gasp) Never shall I permit your engagement to the fair Akane!" Nabiki must have told him
It was then that chaos descended upon the three of us in the form of the rest of the class. Leaning out the windows into the hallway, our classmates began bombarding us with questions, none of which could be understood because of the number of questioners. Aw, come on! Could someone please shut them up!
"Cease this pointless debate!" Kuno declared while facing the students, having seemed to regain his strength in the presence of a crowd. That'll do pig . . . that'll do "For I shall defeat this demon thus terminating any hold he my have on the lady Tendo!"
Any dramatic effect Kuno's declaration might have had was lost when Akane, our classmates, and even the teacher began laughing and pointing at his face. The reason for their laughter was the words 'INCOMPETENT BAKA' bruised onto Kuno's forehead.
After about a minute of uninterrupted hysterics, the only thing clearly written across the upperclassman's face, besides the marks I left, was his injured pride.
"Sorry, were you saying something Kuno?" I sarcastically stated with a smirk.
At first, it looked like the humiliation had caused Kuno's brain to shutdown. But then, I noticed that his left hand, the one holding his bokken, began to shake. This tremor began to travel up his arm and when it reached his neck it became accompanied by an angry red flush.
It was then I noticed the new look on Kuno's face. His mouth was in a snarl that looked ready to breathe fire and his eyes were on the verge of shooting lightening bolts, both for the soul purpose of striking me dead. Oh boy, HE'S GONNA BLOW!
"SAOTOME!!!!!" To punctuate his anger, Kuno raised his bokken high, almost spearing a hole thru the ceiling. "I SHALL NO LONGER PERMIT THIS BISMIRCHMENT TO MY HONOR! FIGHT ME, HERE AND NOW, SAOTOME! As a sigh of his challenge, he performed a downward slash, leaving the point of the bokken touching the floor.
Unfortunately, the force of Kuno's strike split the bucket sitting between us. Thus, in accordance with 'The Laws of Jusenkyo Curses', I received a face-full of water and an abrupt transformation to female.
The sudden change in my appearance finally caused Kuno's brain to shut down. I could tell because his eyes had glazed over and his lower jaw hung loose. Then, to my horror, he got a look that I never wanted to see on a guy's face, a look of love. No! No! No! I wanted him to hate me, not this.
Faster than the normal eye could see, the delusional kendoist was down on one knee in front of me, holding my right hand in both of them. "Oh, my beautiful water goddess. I thank you for banishing that foul demon back to the underworld. Now that he is where he belongs, I shall show my appreciation by allowing you to da . . ." I decided to give Kuno's mouth a break by shoving left palm into his face, being sure to press down hard onto his temples with my fingers. BAKA . . .
When Kuno finally stopped trying to talk into my hand, I turned to face Akane. It was kinda funny to see her calmly standing while everyone else around her were unconscious on their feet from the shock. "Hay Akane, could you take care of this moron while I go and change back?"
"No problem," she answered as she cracked her knuckles and looked down toward the love-struck Kuno with an evil grin.
After changing back and quickly explaining my curse, the teacher let us back into class. And so, the day proceeded in a reasonable order. Kuno would attack at the beginning of each of our classes, hoping to be assisted by his 'water goddess'; either Akane or I would beat him up, depending wither or not I got splashed; class would then return to normal till next period; during lunch we alternated between fighting Kuno, eating, and battling the more stubborn members of the 'hentai horde'; and finally spending all of P.E. either being chased by Kuno while in my girl-form, or fighting him while in my guy form.
"What a day . . ." was Akane's commented with a sigh as we headed back to the dojo. "I think I have attacked more today than I have the past month." Probably so . . .
When we walk past what I knew to be Dr. Tofu's clinic, I spoke up for the first time during our trip home. "Hey, Akane . . ." she perked at the sound of my voice, acknowledging that she heard me. "Thanks . . . you were a big help today." Crossing my arms as I continued speaking, "Course, I could have handled all of those morons myself . . ." I felt her aura begin to ignite, so I finished my sentence before she decided to deck me. ". . . but your help was still appreciated, thank you Akane."
Before Akane had taken the chance to respond, we had reached the front gates of the dojo. "Welcome home you two," my mom said as she opened the front door. "Did you have a good day at school son?"
"Yeah, wonderful," I replied in a dry voice as we followed her inside. As wonderful as dentist visit . . .
"That's good to hear," my mom said, completely oblivious to my sarcasm. At least today was better than it could have been.
More author's notes:
Me: Wow this chapter turned out a lot longer than I expected.
Death: Methinks that shall please your reviewers to no end.
GSO-Techu6: I accordance with due process; opinions, suggestions, and productive criticism shall be accepted, but any flames shall be disposed of in a 'quick' and 'orderly' manner.
Ignis Finard: (grumbles to himself) I'll give you 'quick and orderly'.