Author's Notes:
Me: Hello all you happy people, and don't despair. For this chapter will finally wrap up what is book one in the original story.
Sarul Talah: JUST BOOK ONE!?! (starts beating head on wall)
(Wall shatters)
(Sarul starts beating head on cabinet)
Me: (sigh) Glad I didn't tell him that it is going to be so long that it will be in two parts. Any'who, while Sarul is slowly decimating my dorm room, I just wanted to say that this chapter is going to be very similar to the canon Ranma but a few small change I made will be very important in later chapters or correspond with previous changes. So be patient and enjoy my pov of this part of Ranma ½.
Scarabmon: As always, the author doesn't own them. An if you try and sue him, forcing him to waste his tuition money on a lawyer, I will be paying you a visit in my mega form (Mythmon), and I will unleash a 'Legendary Blast' on you.
Me: Also I would like to point out that I have gone back and revised all previous chapters to this story. The reason why is that, while fanfiction.net allowed me to post my story, it didn't like the format I had written my story in. Thus, some portions of the story's chapters were deleted and I only recently found out. So… I request that all my readers go back and reread those chapters, please.
WILL THEY EVER LEARN? CHAPTER 5
Part 1: Dealing with a Kuno
Today seemed like every other day. Akane and I ran to school, preparing to fight the Hentai Horde, and hopping we wouldn't be late, except for one thing… I was mad…
It wasn't because, almost everyone in the school found out about my curse after my first day, through either Nabiki, Akane, or myself…
Actually, I was glad that they did. I figured that it would clear up much confusion beforehand…
No, I was mad for a much more serious reason…
For today was Monday… As in the, day after Sunday…
The Sunday that Kuno had confessed his undying love for my girl-side…
Yes, Nabiki had given me the letter that everyone else had assumed was a challenge…
Yes, knew that if I went, he was going to profess his love to me…
Yes, I had still gone, planning to pound him into the ground when he got done…
Unfortunately, I didn't account for how utterly NASTY it felt to hear him say IT.
I was so sickened by it that I FORGOT to make him feel pain beyond description. What's worse, IT was even MORE DISGUSTING to hear him say IT in my nightmare last night.
I was so mad that day that I barely noticed it when Akane and I plowed straight through the Hentai Horde…
I was so mad that I increased my speed when I saw Kuno, getting ahead of my fiancée…
I was so mad that I gave him a running uppercut, which sent Kuno to the roof of the school, before he even said a word…
…and did I mention that I was mad.
"What's happened yesterday that got you so upset?" my fellow horde plow asked as we ran to room 1-F.
"Let's just say I was told something that I NEVER wanted to hear him say," I responded as we reached our desks. Nor any other male for that matter
^^^outside, just before school let out^^^
"Speak your peace Kuno, before I pound you just for looking at me," was all I could say while trying to stare down the slightly taller upperclassman.
"Feh, that will be Upperclassman to you, Saotome." was Kuno statement, saying my name like it was a curse, as he dropped a toy panda into my hand. "Tell me why I must give this to you." Is it humanly possible to be that dumb… Probably thinking that I didn't understand him, Kuno restated his question. "Tell my why! To quote Nabiki Tendo, 'If you want to give her your panda, give it to Ranma Saotome.' Now answer me… how do YOU know my water goddess?!"
As hard as it is to believe, my scowl deepened. "First of all, she isn't yours." I shoved the doll into his chest. As I slowly began to walk away I left him with this small threat, "Second, if I hear about you ever trying to go near her again, you won't be quoting anything, EVER AGAIN."
As I walked behind some trees I had the bad luck that the automatic sprinklers came on just then. This just isn't my day, or week for that matter
"Ranma Saotome, how dare you try to keep me from my love!" Was Kuno's battle cry as he destroyed the tree that kept me from his view.
Once he caught full sight of me in girl-form, Kuno beamed and said in a joyous voice, "Oh my love, I thank thee for coming to my aid again." He then preceded to glomp me in a tight bear hug. "Unfortunately, I must ask you to stand back. For the one who wishes to separate us is near."
Ok Nabiki, three… two… one! ~Splash~
"Nearer than you think Kuno-baby. Sorry, was that too hot Ranma?" Nabiki calmly asked after splashing us both with the water.
"Ranma…?" came Kuno's voice from where he had buried his face into my shoulder.
"Let… me… go… NOW!" I clarified while kicking Kuno in the chest, pushing him back to an arm's distance. I brushed my hair out of my face while rubbing my temples, "Because it takes so long for you to understand things, I'll overlook what you just did. Goodbye!"
Just as I was about to pass by Nabiki, I was stopped by the words, "Hold, Saotome! I command you to release the goddess from your demonic powers!" Ok… it is humanly possible for him to be that dense.
"Kuno…" I began while slapping my forehead with my hand.
"Hmmmm… I guess we'll just have to clarify things for him." Nabiki muttered, and before I could react, she started giving her explanation to the kendoist. "Listen here Kuno-baby…" Nabiki's prompting caused Kuno to scoot closer to her as she spoke in a voice I barely heard. "That girl, her soul, her body, are all his. You get what I'm saying, right?" …as clear as mud for that fool, I bet.
It was then that Kuno's head blew it's stack like Olympus Mons. "Tyrant!" was my not-so-worthy adversary's battle cry as he tried to dissect me with a horizontal slash.
"You truly are a moron, aren't you Kuno?" I asked while keeping a death-grip on the tree trunk behind me, after my last-second jump.
"Silence, demon!" Kuno yelled back, "I can see it all." He then when into a blank-faced state where, I bet, he puts pictures and sound to his delusions. I don't exactly know what he is envisioning… and I don't want to know. "How wretched… you devourer of purity!" It was then that he began attacking with a bunch of wild swings that I could of dodged even if Kuno was thinking clearly.
"Kuno, get a grip!" I dodged a diagonal swipe.
"By felling you, the water goddess will be free to be by my side forever." He performed several spearing thrust at my abdomen.
"You moron!" I noticed Akane viewing the fight from next to the statue as I jumped over his attacks. "I thought I told you to that she isn't yours." Was my reply as I grabbed the tip of his bokken, shoved the butt of the handle into his gut, and rammed my left elbow into his ribs.
Unfortunately, despite my full willpower, I got distracted by the pictures falling from his shirt. For my inattention, I received a blow to my lower left side as Kuno yelled, "Fool!"
PAIN!!! @^$#^$@%, I shouldn't of assumed that he was going to try and hit my right side.
As soon as my feet touched the ground, I began to snatch the photos of Akane and me out of mid-air, all the while ignoring Kuno's continued attack and my new wound. *@#$#$@%^$, I though I was careful enough so that Nabiki WOULDN'T get pictures of me.
"Daring to look elsewhere during a battle…" the kendoist calmly asked, pausing form his pervious assault. "…you don't take me seriously!!" he yell while making another thrusting strike toward my throat, which I leaned back, Matrix-like, to avoid. Eat your heart out Neo!
Unfortunately, the laws of physics, no matter how twisted, still do apply in this world. Thus, I began to tumble backwards, and rolled over to Akane's feet. She gave me a small glare. "As you probably noticed…" she said in a serious tone toward my upside-down form. "…when he battles a male opponent, Upperclassman Kuno is VERY skilled."
"And as you probably noticed…" I retorted with a smile, while keeping myself from looking up her skirt. "Even at his best, I'm still winning."
"Then go back and finish this already!" she yelled, kicking me like a soccer ball back toward Kuno.
As I did a few midair flips, I notice that Kuno focusing his chi into his bokken. So the moron does have some skills "This game ends!" he hissed as he unleashed a vicious barrage of strikes that blurred with the speed. The force of his attack was so strong that I heard the monument behind me crack from the air pressure.
I saw my fiancée was still standing next to the statue and yelled, "Move it, Akane!" Too which she responded with, "Look out!" Oh… right… I'm still fighting Kuno I turned around and moved my left foot across my opponent's chest, supporting myself on just one hand.
By the time my feet touched the ground, Kuno had hit the dirt, unconscious.
"How…?" Nabiki began to ask as Akane flipped Kuno over onto his back.
When all three of us could see the many shoes marks I left on Kuno, Akane commented, "Wow, each blow has hit a vulnerable spot."
Nabiki squatted down next to the unconscious kendoist. "You kicked him? I never even saw it."
"He earned all of them." I replied while cracking my knuckles and my neck. Akane looked up at me, "What do you mean, Ranma?"
I held up the photos that I had grabbed from Kuno and showed them to my fiancée. "That pervert had these on him."
A knowing look dawned on Akane's face "Nabiki, how could you!"
"Just making a little money on the side."
"Really, my own sister!"
While the two younger Tendo sisters were yelling at each other, I decided to check on my wound, "Ah… Ah… Ouch!" definitely gonna need more than a band-aid
Akane paused in her argument with her sister to notice me checking on my injury. "Hay Ranma, how's the wound."
I gave her a confident smile, "Nothing too serious, but I'll feel better if we got a professional to look at it."
Akane returned the smile, "Kuno my be a perverted baka," she said, "but he is a perverted baka who is also a martial artist. Come on, I'll take you to Dr. Tofu."
^^Dr. Tofu's Clinic^^
"Hmmmmmmmmm…" Dr. Tofu Ono commented. "Astounding…" I was laying on my side on one of the tables in the back of the clinic while the good doctor sat on a stool behind me. Mumbling coming from his lips while he examined my wound.
"What is it doctor?" Akane ask from where she was standing over Tofu's shoulder.
"You say that he received this cut from Kuno less than 5 minutes ago…" I saw her nod her head out of the corner of my eye. "…Well in my professional opinion, he looks like he already had a half-hour to heal. From the way you had described the injury, I thought he was going to at least need stitches, but he is just going to need some disinfectant and a gauze wrap."
I rolled over onto my back and raised an eyebrow. "You know, you two talking like I am not here while looking my injuries is rather creepy." Akane had a slightly embarrassed blush on her face while Dr. Tofu pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his nose. "For your information, Pop's family has a history of being quick healers. That, added to all the endurance training I went through when I was younger, means that bounce back better'n a yo-yo."
In response to my statement, Dr. Tofu just gave a good-hearted laugh. "Ha, Ha! Well, you certainly are an interesting patient." He began to properly dress my wound. Why do treatments seem to hurt more than the wounds? "By the way, you're Ranma, right? I hear you're Akane's fiancé." He tightens the bandage, now wrapped around my stomach.
Neither of us make a sound to confirm or deny the comment while I found great interest in the tile flooring. After a moment, I look up to see that Akane also found interest in the patterns below her, and sporting a blush covering the upper half of her face. WAIT? AM I BLUSHING ALSO?
"I can see that this is a touchy subject," said Dr. Tofu while he handed me back my shirt. "Understandable, after all you're still children."
Akane seemed disappointed, "Yes, Doctor." She's getting depressed
"I don't know, Doc…" I said with a grin after pulling my shirt over my face. "Akane looks more like a woman to me." At my words, my fiancée renewed her blush.
As Akane and I left the clinic, Dr. Tofu held me back by the shoulder for a second and said, "That was a very nice thing to say." Smiling, "she's lucky to have a nice fiancé like you." I returned the smile and ran to catch up with Akane.
After we were a block away from the clinic, I barely heard Akane whisper, "Thank you, Ranma." Those three words made the whole week all worthwhile.
^^^Next Day, Breakfast^^^
[Starting today, I have a part-time job] came the old panda's sign from the dining room table.
"A part-time job?" I asked while wringing out my shirt on the back porch. Fortunately, I was smart enough to first grab the white tank-top I normally sleep in, thus preserving some of my modesty.
"Genma, you better not be planning to work at a zoo." Mom said with sarcastic frown from her spot at the table. "It wouldn't be very honorable to do so, would it dear?"
[Of… of… of course not Nodoka…] Pop signed, sporting a nervous grin that was highly bizarre on a panda's face.
Completely ignoring the conversation, Nabiki asked, "Auntie, could you please pass the soy sauce?"
After a few moments of pointless conversations, I finished up my meal, glanced around for a clock, and said, "Hey Akane, what time is it?"
Akane looked down at her watch, "It's a quarter past… OH GREAT, we're going to be late again! Come on Ranma!" Once again, I took flight due to a pull on my pigtail and my fiancée's 'mad dash' speed.
To top it all off, It appeared to be destiny that I should arrive at school female today. The reason why is that, as I was being dragged along, I go soaked by not only the ladle lady, but also a car hitting a puddle in the road, a group of kids playing with their water guns, and a dog shaking itself dry after climbing out of the canal. "Akane, could you…"
"Not now Ranma. We're going to be late."
"But Akane…"
"I said later Ranma."
"But…"
"Ranma, just shut up, would you!" she yelled as we passed through the front gates of school. She then paused for a second to push me against the interior wall. "When are you going to learn that it is better to listen that…" She stopped in mid-rant as her eyes darted from my red hair, down to my chest, and back again. To seemingly confirm her observations, Akane opened up my shirt enough to reveal some of my female body's cleavage.
"You were saying something about it being 'better to listen'…" That girl sometimes seems to have a one-tracked mind
Before she had a chance to respond, Akane and I sensed and then faced the mob of boys that had suddenly appeared behind her. "What do you want you morons?"
Probably assuming that they were here for their morning challenge, Akane got into a fighting stance and yelled, "Well, who's first today, huh?"
One of the boys, wearing a striped shirt and tears in his eyes, stepped forward. "Akane… Ranma-chan…" he said while nodding to each of us in turn. "We will no longer challenge either of you." Another stepped forward, "Instead we shall all swallow our sobs and give our approval to your engagement!"
"What in the name of…" Both Akane and I exclaimed at once. Bout time
"So then, you have all heard this rumor, this falsehood…" Kuno bellowed from behind the horde, faster than we could voice our thoughts. "…that Ranma Saotome defeated me!" The crowd parted, revealing a bandaged up Kuno. Well lookie, lookie… it's Shakespeare's mummy "Upperclassman Kuno does not admit defeat!" but you did get a taste of MY FEET
"Kuno was the greatest fighter at Furinkan High!" a boxer from the group said. "Yeah, and the greatest pervert!" another spoke up.
"PERVERT?!" Kuno yelled, but was completely ignored.
"Akane, if you have truly chosen Ranma…" one of the more normal-dressed boys said. "…then we shall give you up."
The mummified kendoist than began to unwrap the bandages from his face. "Feh, Kuno shall not give either of you up." As his wrappings fell, everyone could clearly see the bruise marks, in the shape of my feet, on his face. "Lookit his face." A few students began to whisper.
Oblivious to these comments, Kuno continued, "A hundred… two hundred kicks… From a cowardly demon like Ranma… don't even itch!"
"Care to test that theory again, Kuno." I said while walking forward and cracking my knuckles. "Cause, this time, I could always send you into oblivion with my fist, instead of my feet."
Kuno turned to face me and gave me a loving look that caused my insides to curl-up, "I know not what you say, beloved water goddess. For it was the demonic counterpart to your radiant beauty that had dared to touch my noble self in such a disrespectful way." Both Akane and I hung our heads and sighed. A first-grader would of figured out the truth by now, so why can't he "But fear not, for I will slay the beast that dares call himself a man, then you and the fair Akane Tendo shall be free to display your love for me." At the last part of his speech, Kuno tried to gather both my fiancée and my female self into a loving embrace. His offer was promptly rejected by my foot and Akane's fist making contact with his face.
While Kuno experienced the joys of unconsciousness again, both Akane and I turned to face the rest of the crowd. "Well, we've said our piece." One of the horde boys said while waving us off. "Congratulations Ranma-chan, you too Akane!" Another yelled to our retreating forms.
^^^PE Class^^^
Despite the best efforts of my classmates, I was able to leave the locker room male, and without them sneaking any looks at my female form. Plus, I was then able to impress them and the coach by performing a complex pattern on the uneven parallel bars.
Unfortunately, that didn't keep the two guy now sitting next to me, who identified themselves as Hiroshi and Daisuke, from asking every question that came into their perverted little minds. morons
Donnnng! The sound of the bat hitting the ball interrupted their questions, as Akane jump into the air yelling, "Got it!" She caught the ball, giving the third out.
I felt my heart skip two beats as my fiancée gave a real, genuine smile to her teammates. "Man, she's cute…" said Hiroshi as he stared at the girls.
"No…" I whispered, "beautiful…"
I must of started to daydream because the next thing I noticed was the softball that impacted my forehead, and I was forcefully returned to my inner-thoughts.
^^^@_@^^^
"…Unhhh…" I woke up leaning on someone's shoulders, who apparently was strong enough to drag me standing up.
"I'm sorry…" who's that? …girl's voice… WAIT, I know her… "I'm so sorry Ranma. I hope you'll wake up soon." came Akane's voice again.
"Whho saids I'n noht alweady?" I asked in a slurred voice while lifting my head to look at the person next to me.
"Ranma!" the two Akanes I was seeing suddenly let go of me, but then caught me when they notice that I was still having trouble standing. "Don't worry, I'm taking you to Dr. Tofu's. He'll help… Ranma I'm so sorry." They said in one voice.
"Sal'riht Akanes, I neaded a nap…" Sleepy, sleepy, need pillow…
"Baka… You'll be alright, we're almost to the clinic…?" The pause in her sentence was due to the black and white furry creature that was sweeping in front of our destination. Fluffy!!! Big Pillow!
"Polps wha are u doing here?" Said panda looked up, and took note of my current condition. [What happened boy? You look like you got your butt kicked.] It was Lady Akane… in the batter's cage… with the bat and softball…
Neither of us bothered to answer him when Dr. Tofu walked out. After observing my delirious condition, he wordlessly helped Akane move me through the door and onto a table. Once I was laying down, I decided to return to oblivion.
^^^*_*^^^
When I finally re-awoke, I saw that I was in the lobby of Tofu's office, except everything was tilted to the right. You would think it would hurt having your head at a 90-degree angle from normal...
I started to make my way into the patient area… when I heard a familiar young woman giggle and decided to go find Akane. Better move it while I'm still in one piece
As I was leaving the clinic, I saw several people standing around the door. They all gave me pitying looks for my current neck alignment. Must be his regulars…
^^^Tendo Dojo^^^
After announcing my return, I used my 'now' fully vertical self to make my way toward the sound of crushing concrete. Who knew mom studies pressure points
Finding Akane in the small area between the Dojo and the main house, I waited until she was leaning one-handed on the wall before I made my way over. Should I say something…
Without even looking in my direction, she asked in a cold voice "What do you want?"
"Well I was going to ask about what happened while I was out, but right now I was wondering why you seem so down."
"Is this your way of trying to cheer me up?"
"MAAAAAAAAYYYYYBE…" I replied, giving her my cheesiest grin.
Akane rolled her eyes. "Sense you look in better shape, and spirits, do you have a moment?", she said while walking back toward the dojo.
Soon the sounds of our sparing could be heard throughout the structure.
"WHISHHHH!!!" I side-stepped her side-kick…
"SHOOF!!!" …blocked her punch…
"WOOOOSH!!!" …and curled under her crescent-kick. "Come on! Fight back!" she yelled.
"Uh…why?"
"What do you mean 'why'!?", "WHPP!!!" I jumped over another side-kick. "How can I work out my stress if you won't fight back?!"
"Why should I focus on this fight… if you aren't either?"
"Wha…" Akane gave me a puzzled look as she stopped in mid-kick. She should think before she answers…
Not letting her say anything more, I asked, "Akane… don't you get tired of being angry most of the time?"
"I…" …not yet
"After all… you're cute when you smile." To emphasize my point, I smiled at her.
"MM…" she muttered.
"That was fun," I said while walking toward the door. "If you wanna spar again, just ask…" I smiled back at her again, "…or if you just want to talk again."
^^^Later…^^^
I was walking by Akane, leaving the bath that she was about to enter. "Arigato…" she whispered, "…Ranma…"
Author Notes:
Me: Wow! That was long for the 'first half' of this chapter…
Sarul Talah: FIRRRSSST PARRRT!!! (faints)
Vanagar Intitor: Medic!
(Vanagar and GSO-Techu6 drag Sarul off)
Death: If he had doth panic more, mine he would have become.
Me: You can't win them all Death…
Konton: FYI, thanks goes out to all that helped with this chapter (there are too many to list them all)
Lunix95: The author would also like to apologize for the delay with this chapter… reality has been most uncooperative.
Me: (grumbles)