Author's Notes:
(Death, Konton, and the three bounty hunter walk in)
Death: Where thus has our master of poor design gone to?
Konton: (leans against a boulder) Yea, Ignis is almost swamped with everyone asking where Psychs is.
Sarul Talah: He'ssss prrrrobably jusssst being lazy…
Voice: I am not lazy!!! And Konton, my pin name is Psycho King, not Psychs!!!
(All five look down to see the author pinned under the boulder)
Konton: Dude, what happened to you?
GSO-Techu6: I have analyze the situation and found the cause (point to the words 'Two-Ton Writer's Block' engraved into the rock's side)
Vanagar Intitor: That… has to hurt
Me: (twitch, twitch) (twitch, twitch)
Death: Any recommendations on the most productive route to thwarting this predicament?
Scarabmon: (walks in) I have an idea… (waves his limbs toward the shadow behind him) Guys, allow me to introduce my good friend, ChaosGatomon.
(A black version of Gatomon walks in, her fur reflecting all the colors of the rainbow)
ChaosGatomon: Alright boys, stand back! (cracks her knuckles thru her gloves) Cause it's time to let the cat out of the bag, Rift Paw! (strikes the rock with her paw, causing it to be sucked into a small black hole)
Me: Yes! I'm Free!!!!! (Instantly begins typing away the next chapter)
Death: Woulds't the lady also desire to perform the disclaimer for this chapter?
ChaosGatomon: Gladly, (clears throat) Psycho King doesn't own Ranma 1/2. If he did, he would send me after all those who wish to 'bash' Akane.
Me: Done! Read and weep people!
Will They Ever Learn? Chapter 5
Part 2: 'Greetings Ryoga'
Gotta get away, Gotta get away, Gotta get away…
"Ranma, wait!" Kasumi yelled as she and Nabiki chased me throughout the house.
"No, and I mean NO!" I replied while trying to hold a towel around my female chest. After a few more minutes of this runabout, the two older Tendo sisters finally trapped me in a corner. "I am NOT wearing girls clothes!" I yelled, knowing that it was pointless.
Trying to be reasonable, Kasumi said, "But all your clothes are in the wash now. Let me fill your bath now…" Nabiki interrupted, "You can't just run around naked, y'know!"
"Yea, but…"
"You're a guest here, aren't you?"
^^^Akane's Room^^^
"Ok, explain this to me again…" Akane asked, as she and I sat on the floor. "…why do you have to loan him my clothes?" I decided to just sulk where I was sitting, holding the towel close to my chest as possible.
"Isn't it obvious sis'…" replied Nabiki from inside the closet. "…you and Ranma-chan are closest in size. Plus, I don't think Ranma wants to wear anything girly…"
"Duh…" I interrupted while still sulking.
"…and you have the least feminine wardrobe." Akane glared at the back of Nabiki's head and then joined me in sulking. "…'Kay this'll do…" Nabiki said while pulling something out.
"……"
In what seemed like a few seconds, I was in a dark shirt and a pair of overalls with the word China printed on the chest and on the left leg. could be worse… I wonder why canon-Ranma said that it didn't fit?
"Oooh, it is you!" Nabiki said with a smile.
"You do realize that I'm never going to let this happen again?" I said, knowing that it must of been Nabiki who hid my clothes while I was changing.
"We'll see…" she replied as her smile became a mischievous smirk. That smile has spelled doom for many a people…
"Nabiki, you wouldn't!?!" Akane yelled, catching on to what that smirk meant.
"Sigh…" Ryoga better get here soon… his' revenge-seeking should get Nabiki's mind back on bets and off of pranks… I hope…
^^^Furinkan High School- one week later^^^
As soon as the bell rang, I ran out of the main school building, hoping that I was moving fast enough to avoid Nabiki's next prank. Why me? -_-'
Apparently, Nabiki had taken my words as a challenge, because for the past week I might as well have been holding up a sigh that says [PRANK ME!]. To make matters worse, when/if I avoided one of the pranks, Nabiki would come up with a more complex one.
"Ranma! Stop!!" I turned my head around and saw my fiancée running, trying to catch up with me.
While I wanted to stop to see what she wanted, Akane had been unknowingly used in Nabiki's pranks before, so I assumed that it might be safer to continue running. I'll ask her what she wanted to tell me later…
About mid-way through a large leap that would of cleared me of the schoolyard, I got a bad feeling. Where is it coming from… behind? …no… below? …no… left? …no… right? …no… above?! YES!!! I looked up to see a cloaked figure above, holding a red bamboo umbrella, point-down.
"Ranma! Prepare to die!" Interesting fashion change …wonder why?
I performed a mid-air back flip that landed me next to, a now stopped, Akane. The cloaked figure's umbrella smashed into the ground, creating a huge impact crater about 4 feet across. The wind kicked up by the attack blew the cloak back, revealing a young man wearing black pants, tan shirt, a large backpack, and a yellow and black bandanna tied around his forehead. …wait a second… I never ran into him at Jusenkyo…! O_O'
"You haven't changed a bit, Ranma." As he stood, the figure's cloak settled back around his clothes while the hood rested on his shoulders. He held the umbrella next to his left shoulder as he turned to glare directly into my eyes. "You're still just as good at running away." Why is he still after my hide?!?
Akane leaned closer and whispered, "You know him?" I'll worry about why he's still after me later… now I need to play my part…
I took a few seconds to act as if I was trying to recall something, "Now I remember!" I pounded my fist into my palm and smiled, "Greetings Ryoga, what brings you to this part of Tokyo?"
"Who?" Akane and a few other students asked.
I turned toward my fiancée, gesturing toward the person standing in front of us, "Akane, this is Ryoga Hibiki, a classmate from my old school."
"Enough!" Ryoga yelled, "That's all in the past," Hypocrite "So just tell me this, Ranma! Why did you run out on our fight?!" I guess he could still be mad about that…
"I waited at the appointed place for three days, Ryoga." I stated.
"Three days?" Akane whispered in shock.
"Yes!" Ryoga said in a menacing growl, "And when I came on the fourth day you had already run away!" Still, he seems too mad for just that… wonder why?
"Uh, Ryoga?" I asked while rubbing my forehead with two fingers. "Why did it take you four days…" I moved my hand to hold up four fingers, "to travel about 500 yards…" held up five fingers, "from your house, along the main road, and reach the large empty lot in our neighborhood?" and traced my forefinger in a path mimicking my directions.
"Grrrrrrrrrrr…" Ryoga clenched his fist while glaring at me from under his bangs. "You… Do you think I was out enjoying myself for those four days?!? I traveled long and far to meet up with you!"
As the other students began to mummer amongst themselves, Akane whispered to me, "Is it possible to have a sense of direction 'that' bad?"
"For anyone else… no," I whispered back, "but for him and his family it's normal."
Ryoga held his umbrella forward, like a sword. "Breaking a vow between men, and running to China with your father!" I barely had enough time to jump back from the attack when he swung at me with the umbrella.
I quickly regained my footing on solid ground, "I take it that you want something more than just to finish our fight."
"Of course, you coward!" Ryoga's umbrella, which had opened up from the force of his last swing, was brought to his side for another strike. "This is revenge!" I dodged again as he flung the parasol at me like a bazaar boomerang. It spun through the air, barely missing several students, and came back to his hand.
"No matter what it takes, Ranma," Ryoga growled, "I shall destroy your happiness"
"Hold up!!!!!" came a over-exuberant voice from the second floor of the school. o_O seems there's more to this scene than fans were told…
Everyone looked up to see Nabiki, on the second story balcony with her lackeys, holding a megaphone. "You, boy in the bandanna!" -_-' oh boy…
"Grrrrrrrrrr… My name is Ryoga Hibiki, not boy!!!!!" yelled my new-found rival.
"Whatever," came Nabiki's amplified voice, "You wish to fight Ranma, correct?" …-_-…
"Yes!!!"
"Well, I have yet to hear of, or see, a formal challenge…" Despite the volume, Nabiki's voice was very calm and precise. "… and I take it that you want to publicly defeat him…" …O_o…
"What's it to you!"
"For your information," The ice in Nabiki's voice dropped about 20 degrees, "Ranma is the hair to my family's martial arts school. If you wish to fight him, you should first send a challenge to the Tendo Dojo. THEN, I will personally guarantee that he will be there, along with the largest audience possible!" ……!!O_O!!……
"Very well!" Ryoga then turned to me, "Ranma, we will meet again."
Ryoga's dramatic exit was wasted when a rope near the front gate caught his foot. A complex system of gears and pulleys, hidden inside the nearby trees, slung him around several times, and launched him in the direction of the canal. "Curse you RAAAAAANNNMMMAAAAAA!!!!!" …-_-'… that was sorta anti-climatic…
As this all went on, Akane and I stood there, stupefied. "Uh… what just happened?" I asked while turning toward my fiancée. "Hmmmm… let's see… Ryoga just tripped the prank I was trying to warn you about, and Nabiki seems to have found a new source of income for the dojo." Akane responded.
"Oh… that's what I thought." I said as we both returned home.
^^^Athletics Field, One Week Later^^^
"So, you think he'll show this time?" Akane asked in an exasperated voice.
"I doubt it," I responded while sitting down and preparing to meditate. After all it's only been five days sense I got his challenge, so it should be two more days… I think Like the last four days, Akane and I had arrived at the sight of battle in response to the challenge, so far with no luck. Following us, Nabiki and her associates were selling food, brochures, and cameras to those students dead-set on seeing the fight.
Akane sighed, "I thought there is a rule about if your opponent doesn't show he forfeits the challenge?" she asked while scanning the horizon for any sigh of Ryoga.
"I would think so," I said, "but as a martial artist, it is my duty to respond to any challenge I receive… Besides, that baka included an 'in case I am late' clause to the end of his letter."
"I heard that Saotome," growled a voice from my right. "I see you finally had the guts to show up." There stood Ryoga, still wearing his pack and that misplaced cloak.
I snorted and folded my arms, "Your one to talk, Ryoga." My opponent snarled at my come back. "Although, I should congratulate you. I honestly thought it would of taken you two more days to get here. You still probably gotta good tour of the outskirts of Tokyo I bet."
"Enough chatter," Ryoga said, obviously upset by my jokes. The Eternally-Lost Boy quickly un-sheathed his umbrella, dropped his pack and cloak, "I attack!" and charged in with hundreds of strikes and slashes. I was only able to avoid his attack by backing up while making several carefully calculated dodges. "Thanks to you I have seen Hell!" he yell while making a downward thrust toward my gut.
As he made his strike, I flipped over his head, "What are you talking about?"
"Do you truly believe…" he asked while opening up the parasol, "…that mere words can convey the depths of my suffering?!" and again sent it spinning through the air like an out-of-control helicopter. I avoided it and stopped him from capturing my left wrist with his bandana by kicking his elbow. Ha!
I felt confident in that I broke his trap… that I didn't notice it when a second bandana wrapped around my other wrist. "Don't think I'll let you get away that easily." We mirrored each other as we both launched a high-kick toward each other. "How many of those bandanas are you wearing," I asked as our attacks canceled each other out.
"You dare make light of this, Saotome?!" he yelled as we continued to trade blows.
"Ranma!!" Akane yelled from the sidelines, "Don't stay in close with him! Stay out of his reach!" It was then that one of Ryoga's strikes got through my defenses and his fingers nicked me on the cheek, right below my left eye. This is where it actually gets interesting "Get away from him!" she continued to yell, "He has the strength of a monster!"
"Feh," Ryoga smirked with new-found confidence. "Looks like you found out…" he went to make another strike at my head, "…a little too…" before he could finish his sentence, I caught his attack, and pulled him into an one-handed wrist throw. I moved fast enough that Ryoga lost his balance, and his grip on his bandana holding my wrist, landing face-first onto the ground. I planted my heel into his lower spine and pulled his arm perpendicular to his back, a very painful position.
"What was I too late for?" I asked with sarcastic mirth in my voice. "You know I just hate being late for anything." J
"You think this will stop me?!" Ryoga grunted.
I thought he was just bluffing, until I heard this slurping/popping sound come from his shoulder. His arm bent at an odd angle as he rolled out from under my foot and hopped back onto his feet. "Whoa," on of the students in the crowd yelled, "He dislocated his own shoulder!"
It was true, while Ryoga was still in a fighting stance, his right arm hung limply at his side. "Heh, this is nothing." He said while grabbing his dislocated shoulder with his other hand. With another popping/slurping sound, he shoved his own arm back into place. ok… that's just sick… Ryoga rotated and rolled his reattached arm, "Now, where were we? Oh yeah… DIE!!!" He yelled as he charged in for another attack.
We continued to trade blows for several more minutes, neither of us causing any serious damage, until Ryoga got within reach of his umbrella. I misjudged his next attack, giving him an opening to place the tip of the umbrella in my gut. He could of just impaled me with that… but didn't?!? He then lifted me above his head while opening the parasol, causing me to be launched over a nearby fence.
As fate would have it, my destination was the schools water fountain. With a resounding CRACK, aged concrete and cheep plumbing unleashed a torrent of water over the entire area. Well I'm wet, female, and I hurt my pride… but, if I'm lucky, my opponent will soon be a side of bacon
Speaking of Ryoga, he was at the top of his jump when the fountain blew… his umbrella still by his side… What? …why hasn't he tried to take cover yet? Is he trying to get soaked?
"Ranma!!!" Akane yelled, as she and the rest of the audience caught up with us. Seemingly in response to there arrival, Ryoga opened his umbrella and blocked all the water that he was about to dive into. What is he up to?
We both landed in the woods next to the school. "You cannot win… (pant) Ranma. Give up… (pant)" Ryoga was saying as he was trying to stand back up, not looking directly at me.
"Awww… little Ryoga isn't having fun?" I asked while putting my hands on my hips.
My higher pitched voice seemed to catch the lost boy's attention. Ryoga's head instantly shot up as he gained a 'deer-in-headlights' expression. "Whaa… wha…"
"Well… are we going to finish this fight or not?" I asked as our audience, lead by Akane, caught up with us again. Ryoga was still doing an impersonation of a statue, barely moving from his spot. I turned toward my fiancée, "Hey Akane, what's up with him?"
"Baka," she said while hitting me over the back of the head, "he doesn't know about your curse yet."
Ryoga finally got over some of his shock, "Ra…Ran…Ranma?" He then shook his head and began to laugh, "Heh, Hahahahahaha… you… hahaha… fell into Jusenkyo… haha… and turn into a girl… hahahahahaha… that is rich… hahaha…"
not quite the reaction I was expecting… "You're one to talk, at least I'm not a walking anti-compass." I said as I got back into a fighting stance. Akane caught my signal and stood midway between us and the other students.
"Feh," Ryoga shifted his umbrella to his right hand and pulled several bandannas from his forehead. "To bad your curse didn't improve your manners." He began spinning all the accessories around at high speeds, like buzz-saws.
I saw Akane out of the corner of my eye. Seeing what Ryoga was about to do, she reached down and grabbed a stick about the size and shape of a quarterstaff. …a little convenient, but I'm not complaining
"Now DIE!!!" Ryoga yells as he throws the buzz-saw bandannas. I took a few side-steps and avoided all of the blades. Akane also avoided the attacks but then used the stick to knock the bandannas out of the air. looks like our sparing sessions paid off for her
Ryoga readied a couple more bandannas and opened his umbrella, "You're finished!!!" He threw the bandannas toward my direction and launched the umbrella skyward.
"I got them," Akane stepped in front of me and prepared to knock the bandannas away again. What I saw, that she didn't, was the umbrella close up and dive-bomb right toward where she was standing.
"Akane, WATCH OUT!!!" I yelled as I tackled her to the ground. The umbrella landed with a thud right behind us. However, the way she was falling put Akane's hair right in the path of one of the bandannas, cutting to an uneven shoulder-length.
"AKANE!!!" Several of the girls in the crowd ran over to help both of us up. While I was just fine, Akane stood still and had a stunned look on her face. Everyone gathered around her as Ryoga and I tried to get Akane's attention by snapping our fingers and waving our hands in front of her face.
"What's wrong with her?" The Eternally-Lost-Boy asked while looking into Akane's face.
"You moron," I said while shoving him away from my fiancée. "She's in shock…" I would be too if I was nearly decapitated
"What do you two expect?" One of the two girls asked, "Caught in public… with a haircut like that! She's lucky she didn't just DIE!" Another girl turned up her nose, "Don't waste your breath. Neither of them understand about such things, hum… men…" 'Never argue with a woman who believes she is right, it's just a waist of time and breath on both sides…'
Hiroshi decided to put in his two cents, "But isn't Ranma a girl right now?" for which one of the girls promptly hit him over the head with a shinai. baka…
Ryoga stood back, closed his eyes, and crossed his arms "It's her own fault… baka girl. She shouldn't have gotten in between a man-to-man fight…"
I would have tried to defend my fiancée… except, she had woken up before Ryoga's latest comment… annnnd was currently under his nose with murder in her eyes.
"Ryoga… you… jerk!!!" Akane yelled as she unleashed an uppercut and then a shoulder throw.
I smirked as I watched my rival take flight over the school wall, "He had that one coming, right Akane?" I got no response so turned to face her, "Akane…"
*SMACK*
The Akane in front of me didn't seem to find the humor in my comment. In fact, she was on the verge of tears! She… she hit me. What did I do? "Shut up…" Her voice began soft and became louder. "Go away… Just set away from me! I… I… HATE YOU!" She then took off through the school gate, heading back to the dojo.
What did I do wrong? I pondered while following my fiancée's route back home.
^^^Tendo Compound^^^
Tim no baka… Ranma no baka… slippery ground no baka… loose shoes no baka… baka, baka, baka, BAKA!!!
I continued my self-bashing as I ran thru the front gate and into the house when…
"Is that you, Ranma?" came my mom's voice from the kitchen.
I walked past the doorframe and almost ran straight into her. "Oh…" The pan Nodoka was carrying flew, along with its contents, into the air. I dove to the side, caught the handle, saved the food, but then landed on my breast. Ouch, note to self. Taking a fall is done differently as a girl "…my! Nice catch Ranma."
"Thanks mom," I apologized while crawling off the floor. "Here, you almost lost this." I handed the pan back to her.
"Thank you dear," She placed it back onto the stove to simmer and wiped her hands with a towel. "So…" she lead me into the dinning room as she spoke and motioned for me to sit with her, "how did your challenge go?" Uh…
"It went well, Ryoga was a tough fighter but I still won," I began absentmindedly rubbing the back of my neck "…" I decided to take interest in the cup someone had laid out for me.
Nodoka sipped from her own cup and looked at me from over the rim. "I take it that there is another 'but' in there." I continued to stare down at the cup in front of me. "What happened?"
"I'm not really sure myself, mom…" I sipped my own tea and prepared to explain. Hum… spiced apple cider… my favorite… "Earlier I noticed that some of Ryoga's attack were kind of sporadic, potentially dangerous for everyone watching us. So I asked Akane to be prepared and protect the crowd if one of his attacks went out of control, yah know?"
"Humm…" Nodoka closed her eyes and took another sip of tea as she continued to listen. I began to give a detailed explanation of the entire fight, with mom's only comments being an occasional 'Humm…'
"…Then she slapped my face, told me 'Shut up, I hate you', and ran off." I polished of the last of my cider and placed the cup back down. "I figured that she may have run back here, and if not, I could of ask Kasumi where she might of," I suddenly got a strange feeling and began looking around. "Speaking of which, where is Kasumi? I was hoping she would be here too."
The screen door opened up, and the aforementioned Tendo sister walked in and sat down next to Nodoka. "I was just in the dojo, giving Akane a haircut that she asked for." Kasumi stated, as she placed a pair of scissors onto the table. Wow, she's good… I didn't noticed her presence until the last second.
I shook my head to get over Kasumi abrupt appearance, and realized what her words implied. "She is here? Is she ok? Did Akane tell you what happened? Did she tell you what she's mad about?"
"Oh my, yes! She…" Kasumi stopped talking when mom placed a hand on her shoulder.
Both of us turned toward Nodoka as she finally spoke up. "Kasumi, I believe it would be best if Ranma talked to Akane himself. The key to a good relationship is communication," mom removed her hand addressed me. "Ranma, talk to your fiancée."
Nodoka seemed to get a nervous look on her face. "During your training trip, I rarely took the chance talk with Genma." She looked into my eyes, "I feel, besides even letting you go, that was the biggest mistake of my life. After you told me all that happened during your travels, I felt that I could of somehow helped. Even if I wasn't there in person."
"Mom…" I never realized that she would beat herself up over that…
"Ranma… please don't make the same mistake. Go talk with Akane."
"I will mother," I got up and headed toward the backyard.
As I opened the door of the dojo, I saw Akane going thru one of the kata I showed her. With her short haircut perfectly framing her face, she might have had the arua of calm peace… except for the furious look in her eyes.
"Akane…" my fiancée paused in mid-strike.
"Go away!" she continued the form, this time at a slower pace.
"No," I crossed my arms. "I came to find out what's wrong." She paused again.
"Nothing, now go away!" Again, she continued the form, this time becoming more tense and jerky in her movements.
"Sigh," I moved over next to her and started practicing the same kata. While I was going at the same slow pace as Akane, I made sure that my moves were calm and fluid. Akane, unknowingly following my lead, adjusted her moves until she was doing the kata almost as well as me. "Do you really expect me to believe that nothing is wrong?"
Without disturbing her rhythm and grace, she murmured, "You wouldn't understand." We both reached the end of that kata and bowed out.
I calmly put both my hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eyes. "I can't understand… unless you tell me what's wrong." She looked back into my eyes, "Remember what I said last time? That whenever you need someone to talk to, you just need to ask? Well, I'm waiting for you to ask."
The nervous look that was on her face during my speech seemed to melt away. "Alright then," she crossed her arms in front of herself, grabbed both my wrist, placed her foot on my stomach, and gave a mischievous smirk. "Lets TALK!" She rolled onto her back and threw me toward the wall. I bounced off it and began exchanging blows with Akane. Now this is my kind of talking!
"Who do you think you are?" she began going thru a series of spin kicks. "Asking for my help and then pushing me out of the way!"
I dodged or blocked the first few kicks "And you did what I asked the first time when you protected the other students," I push on her heal during her next kick, sending her once again onto her back. "But, you were almost crushed by Ryoga's umbrella. Did you want me to just stand there while you got flattened?" I probably shouldn't mention that she, herself, jumped into the attacks path
She jumped up and started an unique attack pattern, vaguely resembling the Chinese form, Sil Lum Tao. "Baka! Do you think I'm blind!" She chambered her left hand and palm striked at my chest. "I saw that flying hunk of lead, and I was going to dodge it!" when I blocked the palm strike, she caught my wrist and broke the pattern by pulling me into a Reverse 4-Corners throw.
I rolled with the throw and jumped back up, halting our spar. "I… I didn't know. I just saw you in danger and… and I had to save you."
"Heh… I guess we're both a couple of bakas" Akane whisper as she walked past me, toward the door.
"Your hair…" she turned to see me out of the corner of her eye "Uh… it looks good short… makes you look cute…"
She gave a soft smile. "I though you would think so," With that, she closed the door and left me alone in the dojo.
Man… I'll never understand women…
Author's Notes:
Me: That was fun… and don't worry people. The next chapter should be out soon…
All Alternate Personalities: Suuuuurrrre…
Me: Hay, it will!
ChaosGatomon: Don't wait up on him people, I won't…