'Lord, I hope this works' thought Weasel as he waited for the coach that would be carrying Mr. Delancy. At that moment, he heard the hobbling of hoof steps. Looks like Mr. Delancy has finally arrived. Weasel ran up to the door to help Mr. Delancy out, but a big fist rammed our roly-poly Weeze out of the way. It was him all right.
"Uh, greetings my beloved brother in law. How's the wife treating ya?" said Weasel, trying to suck up to papa Delancy. "Quit with the small talk while yer ahead Wisel!" bellowed Mr. Delancy as he headed for the door. "Now where are my boys?" Weasel then tried to block the door with his morbidly obese tummy, but ol' papa used his steroid-ish muscles to push through. "Aw c'mon, you don't want to see the kids just yet. How about I give you the tour?"
"Yer getting desperate, aren't ya? I WANT TO SEE MY..." began to shout Mr. Delancy before he muscled his way through to see Oscar and Morris GETTING ALONG with the NEWSIES. "Dad!" cried Oscar and Morris before they ran up to their father. "Boys," began Weasel. "This is Mr. Morris Delancy SR." 'Whoa, so that's where Morris got his name from' thought Jack. "Hiya Mr. Delancy. I'se Jack Kelly, leader of da Manhatten newsies." He said. David immediately stepped next. "And I'm David Jacobs, I'm Jack's selling partner." Soon, every newsie began to introduce themselves. 'Yes, this is working great!' Weasel thought to himself, 'I hope this keeps up.'
The visit continued to go virtually flawless.
The dinner proceeded better than at rehearsal, the kids didn't make a mess, Pie Eater wasn't a little piggy, and Oscar used his napkin. After dinner, everyone was at the table talking about their lives. "So ya see dad, Jack has some kind of urge to go to some place in New Mexico" told Oscar to his dad. "Say, what was dat place again?" "Santa Fe" Jack replied. "Yeah, but de old cowboy would never leave here. Cuz if he did, he'd be leaving his family, friends, and his true love" added Morris. "Ya sher got dat right" said Jack. "Who's his true love?" asked Mr. Delancy. "Why it's Davey of course!" said Morris, who wasn't exactly aware of the consequences of what he just said.
"Whadddya just say?" asked a slightly pissed Jack. Then Oscar began to act up as well. "Wait bro, Jack isn't Davey's love. Dat Denton guy is!" David began to hit the roof when he heard that. "AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHH! I've had enough of that (bleep) lie! Every (bleep) intelligent "Newsies" fan (bleep) knows that Denton and I are not a (bleep) item! (Bleep) it!" Everyone looked at David with saucer-wide eyes. "Whoa, did I just say all that?" asked David ruefully. 'Oh no, this can't be happening...' thought Weasel.
Unfortunately, this WAS happening. Everyone began to fight and argue with the Delancys. Mr. Delancy turned to Weasel. "Wisel, an explanation please."
Weasel had no choice but to confess. "Ok ok, this whole peaceful experience was all a big lie!" Weasel began to cry out. "Your sons aren't friends with the Newsies, they fight with each other all the time! I tried to make them look like friends so you would be impressed. I guess I was wrong, so why don't you bust me while you have the chance."
Weeze stood still at that point, expecting a hard punch. Nothing. "What's keeping ya?" asked Weasel. "If you're expecting a punch, you're thinking wrong" said Mr. Delancy. "What?" "Well, this isn't exactly the environment I was expecting, but I'm glad to see that my boys get their exercise." "You mean... you're not mad?"
"Nah, after seeing my boys fight like this, they'll probably follow in my footsteps and be a professional wrestler just like me! Thank you Wisel, looks like yer not as dumb as I thought ya were." Then Mr. Delancy went up to put on his coat. "Well everyone, I'm off. Seeya boys." A slightly confused Oscar and Morris went up to give their father a hug, and then papa was out the door. Weasel just stood there, he was the most confused of every confused character here.
Then Jack said "Yep, I was right. Dis was indeed one messed up fanfic." Then Les went up to Jack and asked "Does this mean the story is over and we can all pretend none of this ever happened?" "Yeah, let's go." At that moment, everyone walked off into the ruins of what was once the dining room.
THE END
This story is dedicated to the 10th anniversary of Dominic Lucero's death. 1994-2004