Title: Never
Pairings: none
Summary: a Kyou POV.
Author Note: My first Fruits Basket fic ever.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters.
I just couldn't win from him. I could never win from him. I'd always be second, always be behind and he'd always be out of reach. I was unworthy in every way. He was everything I wasn't. He had it all while I had nothing.
And I hate it, hated him for having it. Why was he the better one, why was he loved? What did I ever do wrong. I knew the reason. I knew why he was better. His zodiac and mine clashed. Ying and Yang.
If we weren't born with the curse how would my life turned out? How would we have grown up?
I'd have my mother and father who'd love me and he wouldn't have been abused like that. We might have been friends instead of enemies.
We'd of known the pleasure of hugs and embraces. We could love the opposite sex with out fear.
Could I have beaten him if we did not have the curse? Would I've been the better one, the strong one?
But all these thoughts on what could have been will never occur. Useless thoughts. Useless wishes. Useless hopes for a world of 'What if' that never shall be true.
We are what we are. I am the Cursed Cat and he the Golden child born under the zodiac of the Rat. Fucking rat with his high and mighty attitude. I hate him. Loathe him for everything he is, I hate him so much.
Sometimes I want to rip off my bracelet and allow my true self hurt him. Maim his beauty, damage his flawless skin and make him bleed. I'd like that to see him in pain, to smell fear. I'd like to see him cry and beg for me to stop.
But I wouldn't do it. I couldn't do it. It would mean I'd really be the monster they claim me to be and I don't want that. I don't want her to see me like that. I don't want Tohru to see me as a monster.
Not after she accepted it to be a part of me. She saw my demonic form but not it's nature and she never will see it. I won't let her nor will I let it.
She's to precious to me, she means too much to me to let her see the beast I can be if I let myself.
But sometimes I wish to release is on Yuki. Let it do what it wants. Let it beat the rat that tricked it. Undo the wrong that was done to it. To me. To every other cat before me so that no other cat will be born to suffer like me.
And every time I touch the bracelet to actually do it, I see her. Her smile and kind eyes. And the raging thoughts of blood and rage fade away.
The beast in me backs down and whimpers. It doesn't want to hurt her, it doesn't want her to shy away from it in fear.
It's funny how she has the power to subdue the demon, how the thoughts of her looking at it in fear and disgust can make it calm down.
Stupid rat, if only she didn't like him but then she wouldn't be Tohru, because Tohru likes everyone around her.
And everyone includes the demon and neither it nor I will ever hurt Yuki the way we want to, because we'd hurt our most precious person.
We could never do that.
Never.