Disclaimer: Yes I DO own the Legend of Zelda and all related titles and/or logos. I own Zelda, Gannondorf, Link, and all the rest! I have locked them up downstairs in my basement! They are having a party, but I still own them! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!-
Agent 61 (Random Nintendian agent): There he is! Get him!!!
Meep!! Uh, I don't own anything! It was the other Ultrafan! Bye!!!! (Escapes by riding away on Epona)
Camomon: And now, on with the fic!
Agent 61: I see you , dog boy!
Camomon: Eep! (Also runs away)
Note: The following fanfic has no actual plot (Well, it does, but it's been covered up by far too many plotholes and doughnut stains) It is purely for entertainment, and if you do not agree with my form of comedy, I will be forced to beat you over the head with my laser sword and throw you into my bottomless pit of redeads! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!! Also, I actually got the idea and name for this story from an old The Legend of Zelda comic, so don't ask about that! So, now that we got that all cleared up-
Audience Member: Get on with it!
Random Pirate: Yarr, get on wit' it!!!
Moblins: Yeah!!!!!
Pikachu: Don't make us bash you upside the head like you've done to oh so many Sonic the Hedgehog characters!!!
O____O Right'o then! Here come the fic!
Ganon's Tower, 11:49 AM
(In the far away land of Hyrule-
Audience: Get on with it!!!
(O____O Uh, right! Anyway, Link and Ganondorf were having one of there random battles for the fate of Hyrule (So what else is new?). Zelda is trapped in a cage and is watching the two battle)
Zelda: Get him, Link! Thrust, Parry! Come on, beat his @$$!
Link: (Blocking Ganondorf's sword with Mirror Shield) Not helping! NOT HELPING!!!!
Ganondorf: (I'm just gonna put ganon, K) Give it up, boy! You've beaten my @$$ and sealed me away exactly five times! As far as I'm concerned, I'm due for a victory! Besides, if you beat me, I'll just turn into a giant pig, like I always do!! Mwahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!
Link: Not today! This time, I brought this! (Takes out a mysterious spray can with Hylian writting on it)
Ganon: Oh no! Not Lon Lon Ranch Pig-Repellent!!!
Link: Actually, it's just rich, chocolate Ovaltine (DON"T OWN), but it has the same effect!
Zelda: Good going! That'll teach that green jerk!
Link: Uh, are you talking about me or him?
Zelda: Um, him?
Link: O__O Okay!
Ganon: Hmm, well played, Clerks.
Link: Booyah! I win again!
Ganono: Not so fast! You may have stopped me from becoming a pig, but I also brought some reinforcements! (Takes out another spray can written in crayon) Behold!!! Uh, my can of, er, um, Super Evil, uh, Master Sword Repellent, stuff. MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
Link: O___o
Zelda: -_____- That's just Pinesol (Don't Own!!!) with a crappy label on it!
Ganon: =( Yeah, well- (Grabs Master Sword and throws it out window) There! The Master Sword is gone! I have taken it and placed it in a place where you cannot use it! I have stolen it and made it of no use to you by where I have put it! Now there will be no more Master Swordery! No one can use the master sword, and without it, I will rule the world! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link: O__________________________________________O What?
Zelda: Well, now you've both lost your trademark weapon/ability. I guess the only thing to do now is have a rational, civilized-
Link&Ganon: TRIFORCE FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Both of them point their triforce symbol at each other. They then begin shooting random blasts of golden energy at each other)
Zelda: -___- What is this, Dragon Ball Z? Since when could the Triforce shoot blasts of energy?
Ganon: (Still blasting Link) I learned about it while I was in the Sacred Realm.
Link: (Fires ring of blast at Ganon) And I figured it out while I was spacing out in the Kokiri Forest!
Zelda: Oh. Well, can I do that and possibly brake out of this cage?
Link: (Fires multiple blasts at Ganon) Not really. You needed to practice a lot.
Ganon: (Fires giant energy dragon at Link) It took me twenty years to do that move!!!! Twenty Years!!!!!
Zelda: Grr!
Time, 11: 59 PM
(As the two muscle-brained Triforce Bearers continue to fight each other, both of their Triforce Marks, as well as Zelda's, begin to grow dim)
Zelda: (Notices Tirforce Mark dimming) Uh, guys? I think you might wanta see this.
Link: Talk later!!! Kinda busy!!!
Ganon: Die, Kin of the Light World!!!!
12:00 AM
(The Triforce Symbols on Link, Ganon, and Zelda's hands go from gold to black. Also, Link and Ganon stop using energy blasts)
Ganon: (Tires to use energy blast, but fails) Aw man, outta juice! This is such a rip!!!
Link: (Also tries, but fails) Hey, who turned the reality back on?
UltrafanX: Don't look at me! I was for the crazy laser fight! (Flys away on Valoo the Magic Dragon)
Ganon&Zelda: O_______O
Link: People, you're missing the big picture! No Triforce ring any bells?
Ganon: The stupid one is right!
Link: See? (Realizes he was insulted) HEY!!!!!
Ganon: I'm feeling really drained, like my Triforce powers are gone!
Link: Hey, me to! I'm feeling slightly more cowrdly and have a strange urge to hide behind something.
Zelda: And I can't remember how to reassemble the atoms in a nuclear composite of a radioactive compound!
Link&Ganon: O___o
Zelda: Hey, this is a serious problem!!!!!
Ganon: Hmm, our Triforce powers seem to be gone. How very odd. There's only one way to solve this. To the Library, old chums!!!!
(A Triforce symbol is shown in front of a crazy, swirling background, in a very Batman-esk way)
12:12 AM
(The three our now in Ganon's private library. Zelda is now trying to look up the cause of this strange loss of power. Suprisingly, she is still in a cage, though not the same cage)
Link: So, what's causing the problem? Is it something about my crazy tunic? Navi trying to destroy the world? Or is it just another crazy plotpoint?
Zelda: I'm looking. I can't seem to find any books about the Triforce in here. By the goddesses, Ganon, how much Playboy does one man need?!?!?
Ganon: O____O Uh, well-
Link: Ha ha, busted!
Ganon: Look who's talking! Lask time I checked, you had like five girlfriends!!!
Link: I'll shut up now.
Zelda: Finally. Ahh, here we go! (Takes out a book called "The HitchHikers Guide to the Triforce", which has the words "Don't Panic" written in large, friendly, Hylian letters) Hmm, here we go! If Triforce suddenly stops working, contact customer service line via magick portals. That's odd.
Ganon: Got it covered! (Opens up an evil portal to Customer Service Realm, where the three are met face to face with, Duh Duh Duh, Tingle!!! AHHHHH!!!!!!)
Tingle: Customer service! How may I help you!
Link: Tingle? That you in there?
Tingle: Yes! I've got a new summer job! It's great, except that, because I know everything, I have to be memory wiped before I can return to Hyrule! Isn't that grand!
Ganon: Who's the freak in the leotard?
Link: Uh, friend of mine. Actually, he's not as much of a friend as an annoyance. He kinda creeps me out, too. (To Tingle) So anyway, we need help. Our Triforces stopped working and we heard you could help us.
Tingle: That I can! Here you are! (Gives all of them strange little pamphlets) Those should help you! Well, have fun! Tingle Tingle Kooloo Limpah!!!!!! (Creates a giant explosion, but when the smoke clears, he's still there) Oh to hell with it! (Walks out the door)
Link: Wow, how very un-tingle-like.
Tingle: (Comes back in) Up your! (Leaves again)
Ganon: I like him better this way!
Zelda; Hmm, Interesting.
Link: What? What's interesting? WE MUST KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zelda: (Throws boomarang at Link) Keep it down! (Continues to read) Okay, I think I know what's going on!
Ganon: Huzzahs are in order!
Zelda: Not really. According to this, we're experiencing a Day of the Triforce.
Link: O___O A day of the whaza?
Zelda: A Day of the Triforce. During one of these days, which occurs once a decade, the Triforce and it's three piece lose their powers.
Ganon: WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Link: I don't get it! Why would the Triforce stop working?
Zelda: It doesn't say. In fact, the rest of the pamphlet is just an advertisement for Tingle's Maps and Oxiclean (DON'T OWN!!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF FANFIC, DON'T OWN!!!!!)
Ganon: So, what you think you just explained to us is-
Zelda: Correct! For the rest of the day, we won't be able to use our Triforces.
Ganon&Link: O________________________________________O
Zelda: Well, I guess you'll just have to have an all-out brawl to decide who dies.
Ganon: No way! It's no fun to pound pretty boy without the Triforce of Power!
Link: And without the Triforce of Beauty, I can already feel my youth leaving me!!! Oh why!?!?!?!
Zelda: You mean the Triforce of Courage, right?
Link: Right, what'd I say?
Zelda: So, neither of you are gonna fight for the rest of the day?
Link: Well I'm not fighting if he's not fighting!
Ganon: And I'm not fighting if he's not fighting!
Link: And I'm not fighting if Fred's not fighting!
Ganon: Who's Fred?
Link: Oh, that's what I named my Triforce symbol!
Ganon: Really? I named mine Rex the IV!
Link: Well that's a really nice-
Zelda: Alright! So neither of you are fighting?
Ganon: I guess not.
Link: No.
Zelda: THEN WILL SOMEBODY LET ME OUT OF THIS STUPID CAGE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Link&Ganon:O________O Uh, right. We knew that!
UltrafanX: Oh boy! It looks like them duke boys are in one helluva fix! Sure hope tommorow comes soon, cause if it doesn't, the whole groups gonna have to learn to get along!
Zelda, Link, & Ganon: NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
UltrafanX: Silence! I own you, and you'll do whatever I want!
Agent 61: ALRIGHT, Ultrafan! We know you've got the majority of the cast of The Legend of Zelda in there! Come out with you Darth Vader PEZ up!!!
UltrafanX: NEVER!!! I'll defy you till the day I go to College!!!!!!!!!!!!
Camomon: Will Zelda, Link, and Ganon survive a whole day together? Will UltrafanX defy Nintendo till the day he dies, er, the day he goes to college?
UltrafanX: No. In fact, I give.
Agent 61: You do?
UltrafanX: Yeah! I give you a hand grenade! (Blows Agent up with bomb) MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Camomon: -___- I guess so. Well, to find out what happens to the Zelda cast, you'll have to wait for the next chapter!!! Remember to R&R!!!!!
UltrafanX: Snooch to the Nooch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Agent 61 (Random Nintendian agent): There he is! Get him!!!
Meep!! Uh, I don't own anything! It was the other Ultrafan! Bye!!!! (Escapes by riding away on Epona)
Camomon: And now, on with the fic!
Agent 61: I see you , dog boy!
Camomon: Eep! (Also runs away)
Note: The following fanfic has no actual plot (Well, it does, but it's been covered up by far too many plotholes and doughnut stains) It is purely for entertainment, and if you do not agree with my form of comedy, I will be forced to beat you over the head with my laser sword and throw you into my bottomless pit of redeads! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!! Also, I actually got the idea and name for this story from an old The Legend of Zelda comic, so don't ask about that! So, now that we got that all cleared up-
Audience Member: Get on with it!
Random Pirate: Yarr, get on wit' it!!!
Moblins: Yeah!!!!!
Pikachu: Don't make us bash you upside the head like you've done to oh so many Sonic the Hedgehog characters!!!
O____O Right'o then! Here come the fic!
Ganon's Tower, 11:49 AM
(In the far away land of Hyrule-
Audience: Get on with it!!!
(O____O Uh, right! Anyway, Link and Ganondorf were having one of there random battles for the fate of Hyrule (So what else is new?). Zelda is trapped in a cage and is watching the two battle)
Zelda: Get him, Link! Thrust, Parry! Come on, beat his @$$!
Link: (Blocking Ganondorf's sword with Mirror Shield) Not helping! NOT HELPING!!!!
Ganondorf: (I'm just gonna put ganon, K) Give it up, boy! You've beaten my @$$ and sealed me away exactly five times! As far as I'm concerned, I'm due for a victory! Besides, if you beat me, I'll just turn into a giant pig, like I always do!! Mwahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!
Link: Not today! This time, I brought this! (Takes out a mysterious spray can with Hylian writting on it)
Ganon: Oh no! Not Lon Lon Ranch Pig-Repellent!!!
Link: Actually, it's just rich, chocolate Ovaltine (DON"T OWN), but it has the same effect!
Zelda: Good going! That'll teach that green jerk!
Link: Uh, are you talking about me or him?
Zelda: Um, him?
Link: O__O Okay!
Ganon: Hmm, well played, Clerks.
Link: Booyah! I win again!
Ganono: Not so fast! You may have stopped me from becoming a pig, but I also brought some reinforcements! (Takes out another spray can written in crayon) Behold!!! Uh, my can of, er, um, Super Evil, uh, Master Sword Repellent, stuff. MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
Link: O___o
Zelda: -_____- That's just Pinesol (Don't Own!!!) with a crappy label on it!
Ganon: =( Yeah, well- (Grabs Master Sword and throws it out window) There! The Master Sword is gone! I have taken it and placed it in a place where you cannot use it! I have stolen it and made it of no use to you by where I have put it! Now there will be no more Master Swordery! No one can use the master sword, and without it, I will rule the world! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link: O__________________________________________O What?
Zelda: Well, now you've both lost your trademark weapon/ability. I guess the only thing to do now is have a rational, civilized-
Link&Ganon: TRIFORCE FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Both of them point their triforce symbol at each other. They then begin shooting random blasts of golden energy at each other)
Zelda: -___- What is this, Dragon Ball Z? Since when could the Triforce shoot blasts of energy?
Ganon: (Still blasting Link) I learned about it while I was in the Sacred Realm.
Link: (Fires ring of blast at Ganon) And I figured it out while I was spacing out in the Kokiri Forest!
Zelda: Oh. Well, can I do that and possibly brake out of this cage?
Link: (Fires multiple blasts at Ganon) Not really. You needed to practice a lot.
Ganon: (Fires giant energy dragon at Link) It took me twenty years to do that move!!!! Twenty Years!!!!!
Zelda: Grr!
Time, 11: 59 PM
(As the two muscle-brained Triforce Bearers continue to fight each other, both of their Triforce Marks, as well as Zelda's, begin to grow dim)
Zelda: (Notices Tirforce Mark dimming) Uh, guys? I think you might wanta see this.
Link: Talk later!!! Kinda busy!!!
Ganon: Die, Kin of the Light World!!!!
12:00 AM
(The Triforce Symbols on Link, Ganon, and Zelda's hands go from gold to black. Also, Link and Ganon stop using energy blasts)
Ganon: (Tires to use energy blast, but fails) Aw man, outta juice! This is such a rip!!!
Link: (Also tries, but fails) Hey, who turned the reality back on?
UltrafanX: Don't look at me! I was for the crazy laser fight! (Flys away on Valoo the Magic Dragon)
Ganon&Zelda: O_______O
Link: People, you're missing the big picture! No Triforce ring any bells?
Ganon: The stupid one is right!
Link: See? (Realizes he was insulted) HEY!!!!!
Ganon: I'm feeling really drained, like my Triforce powers are gone!
Link: Hey, me to! I'm feeling slightly more cowrdly and have a strange urge to hide behind something.
Zelda: And I can't remember how to reassemble the atoms in a nuclear composite of a radioactive compound!
Link&Ganon: O___o
Zelda: Hey, this is a serious problem!!!!!
Ganon: Hmm, our Triforce powers seem to be gone. How very odd. There's only one way to solve this. To the Library, old chums!!!!
(A Triforce symbol is shown in front of a crazy, swirling background, in a very Batman-esk way)
12:12 AM
(The three our now in Ganon's private library. Zelda is now trying to look up the cause of this strange loss of power. Suprisingly, she is still in a cage, though not the same cage)
Link: So, what's causing the problem? Is it something about my crazy tunic? Navi trying to destroy the world? Or is it just another crazy plotpoint?
Zelda: I'm looking. I can't seem to find any books about the Triforce in here. By the goddesses, Ganon, how much Playboy does one man need?!?!?
Ganon: O____O Uh, well-
Link: Ha ha, busted!
Ganon: Look who's talking! Lask time I checked, you had like five girlfriends!!!
Link: I'll shut up now.
Zelda: Finally. Ahh, here we go! (Takes out a book called "The HitchHikers Guide to the Triforce", which has the words "Don't Panic" written in large, friendly, Hylian letters) Hmm, here we go! If Triforce suddenly stops working, contact customer service line via magick portals. That's odd.
Ganon: Got it covered! (Opens up an evil portal to Customer Service Realm, where the three are met face to face with, Duh Duh Duh, Tingle!!! AHHHHH!!!!!!)
Tingle: Customer service! How may I help you!
Link: Tingle? That you in there?
Tingle: Yes! I've got a new summer job! It's great, except that, because I know everything, I have to be memory wiped before I can return to Hyrule! Isn't that grand!
Ganon: Who's the freak in the leotard?
Link: Uh, friend of mine. Actually, he's not as much of a friend as an annoyance. He kinda creeps me out, too. (To Tingle) So anyway, we need help. Our Triforces stopped working and we heard you could help us.
Tingle: That I can! Here you are! (Gives all of them strange little pamphlets) Those should help you! Well, have fun! Tingle Tingle Kooloo Limpah!!!!!! (Creates a giant explosion, but when the smoke clears, he's still there) Oh to hell with it! (Walks out the door)
Link: Wow, how very un-tingle-like.
Tingle: (Comes back in) Up your! (Leaves again)
Ganon: I like him better this way!
Zelda; Hmm, Interesting.
Link: What? What's interesting? WE MUST KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zelda: (Throws boomarang at Link) Keep it down! (Continues to read) Okay, I think I know what's going on!
Ganon: Huzzahs are in order!
Zelda: Not really. According to this, we're experiencing a Day of the Triforce.
Link: O___O A day of the whaza?
Zelda: A Day of the Triforce. During one of these days, which occurs once a decade, the Triforce and it's three piece lose their powers.
Ganon: WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Link: I don't get it! Why would the Triforce stop working?
Zelda: It doesn't say. In fact, the rest of the pamphlet is just an advertisement for Tingle's Maps and Oxiclean (DON'T OWN!!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF FANFIC, DON'T OWN!!!!!)
Ganon: So, what you think you just explained to us is-
Zelda: Correct! For the rest of the day, we won't be able to use our Triforces.
Ganon&Link: O________________________________________O
Zelda: Well, I guess you'll just have to have an all-out brawl to decide who dies.
Ganon: No way! It's no fun to pound pretty boy without the Triforce of Power!
Link: And without the Triforce of Beauty, I can already feel my youth leaving me!!! Oh why!?!?!?!
Zelda: You mean the Triforce of Courage, right?
Link: Right, what'd I say?
Zelda: So, neither of you are gonna fight for the rest of the day?
Link: Well I'm not fighting if he's not fighting!
Ganon: And I'm not fighting if he's not fighting!
Link: And I'm not fighting if Fred's not fighting!
Ganon: Who's Fred?
Link: Oh, that's what I named my Triforce symbol!
Ganon: Really? I named mine Rex the IV!
Link: Well that's a really nice-
Zelda: Alright! So neither of you are fighting?
Ganon: I guess not.
Link: No.
Zelda: THEN WILL SOMEBODY LET ME OUT OF THIS STUPID CAGE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Link&Ganon:O________O Uh, right. We knew that!
UltrafanX: Oh boy! It looks like them duke boys are in one helluva fix! Sure hope tommorow comes soon, cause if it doesn't, the whole groups gonna have to learn to get along!
Zelda, Link, & Ganon: NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
UltrafanX: Silence! I own you, and you'll do whatever I want!
Agent 61: ALRIGHT, Ultrafan! We know you've got the majority of the cast of The Legend of Zelda in there! Come out with you Darth Vader PEZ up!!!
UltrafanX: NEVER!!! I'll defy you till the day I go to College!!!!!!!!!!!!
Camomon: Will Zelda, Link, and Ganon survive a whole day together? Will UltrafanX defy Nintendo till the day he dies, er, the day he goes to college?
UltrafanX: No. In fact, I give.
Agent 61: You do?
UltrafanX: Yeah! I give you a hand grenade! (Blows Agent up with bomb) MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Camomon: -___- I guess so. Well, to find out what happens to the Zelda cast, you'll have to wait for the next chapter!!! Remember to R&R!!!!!
UltrafanX: Snooch to the Nooch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!