Stolen Child
Chapter 19
Can't You See That I am Not Afraid?
"Professor, I thought you ought to know, I didn't just regain that one memory of Draco.there were a few more as well." Hermione didn't look up as she spoke, following his lead down a wide sidewalk past numerous muggle stores.
"I'm listening, Ms. Granger." There was no outward sign of it, but his heart was pounding. Had she seen him in her memories? Being awful to her, her best friends expounding upon how disgusting and greasy he was, sniggering about him any chance they had?
"I. I saw my mum and dad, and a few random images of before I came to Hogwarts." She still didn't look up, her face set on the sidewalk before her.
Switching the bags in one hand to the other he reached out and squeezed her hand gently, though never looking her way. He slowed to a stop in front of a run down building a sign above the door which read "Purge and Dowse." In the window there was another sign sitting next to a rather hideous dummy which said "Closed for refurbishment".
Hermione watched, intrigued as Snape approached the dummy in the window and spoke to it so softly that she couldn't hear what he was saying, then much to her surprise the dummy nodded ever so slightly and The Professor, for the first time in a few blocks, turned towards her, and beckoned her forward. "I know this may seem a bit strange, but walk into the window, it isn't solid. I'll let you go first so that you won't be left standing out here alone." At that moment a middle aged witch holding the hand of a young child stepped out of the window and smiled at them both before hurrying off.
Smiling back at the witch and child, Hermione stepped up to the window, summoned her courage, took a quick look around to check for muggles, closed her eyes and walked strait towards the window. She didn't open them again until the sound of the street had faded and instead there was the soft murmur of a several people speaking in hushed voices. Before her was what she assumed to be a reception area. She heard footsteps behind her and turned to find Professor Snape stepping up next to her. "That wasn't too bad." Glancing up at him she offered a faint smile, still feeling the weight of her embarrassment over the scene she had made in Diagon Alley. But hadn't she been justified? He had stolen everything from her; her education, the few remaining years she had with her family, her innocence, and any chance she might have had for a normal life. In one foolish act, he had tossed her too her doom, and hadn't even looked shocked or afraid; hadn't even reached out to catch her, he had simply sneered, and almost seemed delighted.
Walking past the welcome desk, a plump blonde witch looked up and smiled, "Good afternoon, Professor Snape."
He nodded curtly and continued past towards a staircase, "Good afternoon, Ms. Iris."
The blonde smiled and winked at Hermione who smiled back politely before beginning to scale the stairs behind Snape. The hospital was a surprisingly comfortable place which smelled of herbs and magical cleaners, and Hermione found that it reminded her quite a bit of Madame Pomfrey and the hospital wing at Hogwarts. They climbed several flights of stairs, past the Creature induced injuries, Magical Bugs, and Potion and Plant Poisoning wards until they came to the fourth floor: Spell Damage. He led her down a long hallway with many rooms on either side, and left down another hallway until they came to a doorway which had a sign that read, "Janus Thickey Ward".
Hermione grasped her shopping bags a bit tighter as they walked through the double doors; this place had a much different feel, hopeless and somehow frightening. Unexpectedly an image popped into Hermione's mind-- she was eight and she and her parents were walking down a similar hallway, it smelled disinfectant and faintly of urine; and somehow she knew that they were going to visit her grandmother in a nursing home. The memory ended there, however, and she came back to reality, still right behind Professor Snape
There were a few patients out in the hallway, one sitting in a wheelchair, her mouth gaping and eyes fixed in a constant expression of complete terror, and another was standing, facing the wall, rocking back and forth, his hands balled in tight fists. Somewhere in one of the rooms a man was wailing pitifully, in another she could hear someone grunting inhumanely. She followed Snape past them to a room at the very end of the hall on the left, the door was propped open and sunlight was streaming in through a large window at the opposite end of the room. Reluctantly she entered behind him, squinting at the bright sunlight. Across the room sitting in a comfortable looking rocking chair there was a slightly hunched figure with long pure white hair, dressed in Christmassy night robes, staring out of the window, rocking slightly.
Politely Snape rapped on the open door and the old man turned towards him. Hermione was surprised to find that other than being a bit thinner than he had looked in her yearbook, he appeared essentially the same. His smile when he saw them, though, was vague, and there was something off about it. She smiled back despite being slightly unnerved by the strange expression on his face.
"Hallo." He grinned toothily, and slowly began to rise.
"Good afternoon, Albus." Professor Snape set his bags near the door and went to help the older man but Dumbledore was already up by the time he was by his side, and with a strange smile he hobbled over to a large stand in the corner which Hermione hadn't noticed before. A bird about the size of a gray parrot, but bright red and yellow was perched upon it cooing softly at the old man. It lacked primary feathers in both its wings and tail, and so she assumed that it was quite young.
Dumbledore pulled a large piece of dried fruit from the pocket of his robes and offered it to the bird who gently took it from him and began nibbling the edge while holding it up between its taloned toes. Albus turned and hobbled back towards his seat, but paused and hobbled towards her instead, reaching up to his face to adjust his spectacles.
Warily Hermione stood stock still as the looked her over, just a few inches from her face, and then he suddenly smiled, and she noted that he lacked the insanity of his previous deranged grin.
"Hermione Granger! Welcome home, my dear!" He reached towards her and grasped her hand, startlingly strong. "You have returned at last." Still smiling his eyes seemed to search hers, and then his smile faded a bit. "But not without paying a terrible price, I'm afraid." He squeezed her hand even more tightly, his bright blue eyes flashing a thousand different emotions, none of which Hermione was able to read.
Professor Snape was completely floored. Albus had very rarely spoken to any one like that in the two years since the fall of Voldemort. Usually he was clearly demented, reliving his childhood and speaking of long dead friends as if they would come through the door at any moment.
Slowly he turned and walked back towards his window and sank back down into his chair, moving his foot up and down, causing the chair to rock rhythmically.
After a moment of silence, Snape finally forced himself to speak. "We've brought you some candies, Albus." He retrieved the large sack and brought it to Dumbledore who took it from him, eyes gleaming, appearing quite insane once more.
"I love candies, you know." He opened the sack and reached in pulling out a sherbert lemon, unwrapping it a popping it in his mouth. "Is it my birthday again?" He looked up hopefully at Snape.
"No, Albus, but it is almost Christmas."
"Ah yes! That's why I picked these robes. When I was a boy my mother always made the loveliest Christmas robes, and each year she'd make me a pair of delightfully warm socks as well. Have I shown you my new socks?" He stopped rocking for a moment and pulled up his robes sticking out a foot which was clothed in a thick Griffindor red and yellow wool sock. "I think I recieved them for Christmas as well. There's nothing quite like a pair of nice warm socks."
Hermione watched Snape interact with the old man in disbelief. He had leaned up against the wall and was listening intently to him, despite Dumbledore's rambling. In the few days that he had come to know him again, she had never seen him treat someone as he did Dumbledore, accept, perhaps her, though at the same time it was much different.
Setting her bags down next to the Professor's, she situated herself in a small wooden chair which sat near the door and contented herself with simply observing. Absently she reached into her pocket and withdrew her wand, a thrill of delight coursing through her. It was quite possibly one of the most beautiful things she had ever seen. Slender and pale, sending incredibly powerful feelings through her hand. Whispering so as to not disturb the men talking across the room, she pointed at a tiny piece of paper that had fallen to the floor, "Windgardium Leviosa." Just as the wand box had levitated, so did the slip of paper, and she couldn't help but grin.
As the paper flittered to the ground once more she looked up, hearing Dumbledore go into a coughing fit. Professor Snape was immediately by his side looking concerned, a hand upon his back. She was caught off guard by the warmth that flowed through her as she watched them, the sunlight streaming down upon Snape, his ebony hair shining brightly, the honey gold light giving him a bit more color than usual, his black eyes holding none of the cold bitterness they usually did, and for a moment she thought that it much the same as it would be to see him with a young child.
Dumbledore had ceased coughing and had popped another candy into his mouth, rambling on about playing Quidditch as a young boy. Hermione's thoughts wandered as she watched... suddenly she was twelve and Snape was glaring down at her, snarling, she hadn't been looking and Neville had accidentally added the wrong ingredient to their potion, and Snape's expression was frightening at best. The memory ended and Hermione blinked several, forcing herself to push away the hurtful emotions associated with it, and instead focused on waving her wand gently.
Snape pulled a handkerchief from a pocket in his robes and after looking to make sure Hermione wasn't watching, used it to dab away a bit of drool from Dumbledore's chin, quickly pocketing the square of fabric once again. Albus had been his friend, had been there when no one else would give him the time of day, he had never turned him away despite his shortcomings, previous Death Eater status, and horrible bitterness, it was the least Snape could do; but he'd be damned if he'd let anyone else see him do it.
As the old man rambled on about nothing he found himself wishing that he'd suddenly brighten up and say 'Oh goodness, why am I not at Hogwarts, Severus?' But of course, there was no sense in it; wishing was for children and idiots-- not for Severus Snape. He glanced over at Hermione who was levitating a tiny slip of paper, and felt his mood lift considerably. He had never wished for her to return. It had bothered him when she disappeared, of course, they had been on friendly terms when she departed, but he had always held her at arms length, never truly becoming her friend, and now upon foresight, he had to admit that he regretted it, and he regretted never having prayed and wished for her safe return-- perhaps for once the Gods would have listened to his pleas. Another rather disturbing thought crept up on him then. how many other friendships had he missed out on through the years? Not just students, but colleagues, members of the order, people who had died, people who were in other rooms in this rather crowded ward. How many did he push away before he had ever even had the chance to know them? Of course, even if he did try, they would surely of pushed him away just a readily, unless they didn't remember him. He felt warmth creeping over him and he glanced at Hermione once again. What if, as with her, he had had a second chance with them all, what would he have done? Pushed aside childhood insecurities and hurts? Or ruin it all over again? His thoughts were interrupted by a fit of coughing from Dumbledore.
Hermione sat back and examined her wand intently, worrying her bottom lip, and then inspiration suddenly rushed over her. "Lumos." Her voice was barely a whisper, but her wand didn't seem to mind and responded by producing a narrow beam of light. She grinned and waved it around on the floor for a moment. "Nox." The light was extinguished immediately and her grin broadened. "Lumos...Nox..Lumos...Nox." She snickered softly and held her wand up to the light, wishing she had a book of spells in her lap. Of course, what would happen once she did? What if she learned to actually do something powerful with the slender piece of currently harmless wood in her hand? What if she met Malfoy in Diagon Alley some other time? Would she blast him into oblivion? But what Snape had said was indeed true, why waste the time she had remaining because she so desperately wanted revenge? Then again, what did she really have to live for? She had lost her parents, her opportunity for a real education, and for six years, her humanity. Her memories were coming back, of course, but how many would she regain? If she never remembered them, then she had also lost her friends, and even if she did remember them, it had been so long, and they would no doubt be so incredibly different, and she'd be locked in the past without a bridge to where they were standing. And so, she had nothing to hold her back, accept for him. Slowly she looked up to see him picking up Dumbledore's spectacles for him off the floor, and for the briefest moments their eyes met, he smiled, and her world spun.
They spent nearly three hours in Dumbledore's room until a nurse came in and told them that visiting hours had ended. Hermione was thankful, but reluctant as well, the prospect of returning to the solitude of the school looming in the distance. Snape bent and briefly patted Dumbledore on the back, telling him to have a happy Christmas, and to enjoy his sweets and socks, which made the old man grin and show off his socks once more. Hermione then approached and awkwardly bent to hug him, only to have him once again grasp her hand tightly and meet her eye before bending forward to whisper in her ear. "Don't let this boy scare you off, Ms. Granger, he can be a bit stubborn and sometimes sharp tongued, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't care. And dear, good luck with your new wand." He pulled her to him in a firm hug, and then sat back once more grinning and rummaging through the bag of candy. "Happy Christmas, do tell Nicolas I said hello."
Hermione, blushing furiously smiled and nodded though she had no idea who Nicolas was, "Happy Christmas," and along with Professor Snape gathered her bags and left the room, heading back down the hallway. Just as they were leaving the ward, Hermione doubled her pace until she was side by side with Snape who seemed to be in a bit more of a hurry than usual. "Who is Nicolas, Professor Snape?"
"Nicolas Flamel, he passed away three years ago, he and Albus were once good friends." He gracefully made his way down the stairs towards the ground level, his boots barely making a sound as they lightly touched the floor.
She cleared her throat and hurried after him, still mulling over Dumbledore's advice, and found that his moment's of clarity disturbed her more than his obvious insanity, as though he could at any moment become what he once was, his condition teasing those around him into having hope.
Once outside "Purge and Dowse" Snape slowed and then stopped, Hermione catching up a moment later.
"Are you alright, sir?" It was Hermione's turn to reach out and briefly touch his hand.
"Yes, of course, it's just the smell of the hospital.was beginning to make me a bit ill."
He was clearly lying, but she decided not to press the point and instead nodded and pulled her hand away. They stood there for another few minutes, their breath steaming in the chilly evening air. "I was thinking, sir. if you'd like, perhaps we could find a place to eat?" She hadn't noticed before, but as she stood on the lonely sidewalk, her stomach was audibly growling.
"I seriously doubt any restaurant in this area that would accept Galleons, Ms. Granger." He nearly winced at the harshness of his own voice, but instead he straitened, always resolute when it came to following through his own actions or words; but then he remembered the revelation he had had before. This was his second time around with Hermione, what were the chances that he'd have another? "Thankfully I keep a decent sum of muggle money on hand for emergencies." His expression did not change, however he was pleased to see that Hermione's had.
*~~~*~~~~*
They sat across from each other at a simple booth, soft oriental music playing in the background. The small, though rather busy Chinese restaurant had been the only one open that they could find, and though it seemed a bit silly, they both agreed that Asian food would be better than leftovers from dinner at Hogwarts. It ended up being more than true, and though the atmosphere was cheap at best, they both had to admit that the food was quite delicious. Hermione had in front of her a plate of steamed rice, water chestnuts and snow peas in a delightful sauce, and Professor Snape had steamed rice, and mandarin chicken, along with an egg roll in his own. They had gotten their fair share of curious glances from the other patronsno doubt curious about their clearly non-muggle clothing but neither minded in the least bit.
Finishing a bite of his chicken, Snape finally looked up after several minutes of nervous silence. "Will you be attending the staff Yule gathering, Ms. Granger?" He felt something cold explode within him, and immediately he regretting asking her. why not ask her about something more within his league? A potion, an ingredient, anything but a silly staff Christmas party.
Hermione looked up, swallowing a water chestnut, appearing quite perplexed. "I don't believe so; I didn't know there was one."
It was his turn to be perplexed-why hadn't Minerva invited her? "Ah, I see." Again there were several minutes of silence while they each ate slowly, though his mind was working furiously. Should he invite her? What would the rest of the staff say? They'd laugh no doubt, and pity her, but what would it be like sitting alone while the others enjoyed themselves, knowing that she was alone in the dank dungeons. "Ms. Granger, would you perhaps like to accompany me? I'll have to warn you, though; they can be a bit dull."
She was about to take another bite of her rice, but then his words had sunken in and she set her fork down, looking up, trying her best to appear neutral. "That would be lovely, sir." She smiled, forcing it not to be overly enthusiastic, though her heart was doing a rather intense tap dance against her ribs.
Returning her smile, Snape turned his attention to the chicken, his own heart dancing happily, though, both he found himself fearing, and anticipating the reaction from the other staff. And then it felt as though his heart had seized up and fallen over dead in the middle of its euphoric ballet and he shuddered internally. He had just requested that she accompany him, had asked her to be his date; he nearly choked on a piece of chicken at the thought.
Again they were lost in silence, though their minds were anything but quiet, this time until they had both nearly finished. "I've enjoyed today, sir, thank you."
He looked up, swallowing the last of his rice to see Hermione smiling warmly, and couldn't help but reciprocate. "As have I, Ms. Granger." The warm, though slightly embarrassed smile that graced her face at his words was completely priceless, and caused his heart to leap to life once more. It wasn't much longer before they had both finished and the young waitress brought them their ticket and two fortune cookies.
Hermione was the first to choose one, and handed the other to Snape who stared at it dubiously. "Oh, come on, now, Professor, open it." She grinned and began opening hers, and finally so did he. Cracking open the cookie, she pulled out a small strip of paper and read it out loud. "You will travel far, and meet a tall, dark, and handsome man and go out to eat Chinese food." She grinned over at him and he cocked his eyebrow. "Quite disturbing how these things can be so accurate, don't you think?"
"Indeed." The corner of his mouth twitched, and he looked down at the cookie in his hand as he broke it open, succeeding in concealing his emotions. She had just openly proclaimed that he was handsome. Never in his entire life had anyone woman called him handsome. Distinguished, brilliant or intriguing, yes, but never handsome. He pulled the slip of paper from the cookie and held it up so he could read the small print. "If you have many friends, then you have no friends." He blinked, and could barely suppress a smile, realizing just exactly how true that was.
*~~~*~~~*
Leaving the restaurant behind, both smiling warmly, their bellies full of good food, and both in high spirits, they headed into a dark alley, Snape in the lead, Hermione shivering nervously. Abruptly he stopped as they rounded a corner, and Hermione followed suite. Reaching towards her he took her hand into his own, and she closed her eyes, hoping and praying that he'd bend to kiss her. Instead it felt as though she was being swiftly pulled forward by a thread extending from her stomach, and she gasped in surprise. His grip on her hand tightened reassuringly and abruptly the pulling stopped and she stumbled against him.
They were standing outside the gates of Hogwarts. He paused and without a word withdrew his hand from hers and pulled his wand from his robes. Startled, she realized exactly how close to the forbidden forest they were, and though she hadn't the faintest idea how to use it against an enemy, Hermione pulled hers out as well. Trembling slightly, she followed him along the lengthy, winding path up to the front door of the castle, sighing heavily as they entered the entrance hall, she shut the door behind them. There were a few students mingling near the entrance to the great hall, but they were silent as Snape strode across the floor, Hermione close behind.
In what seemed to be mere moments they were at her door. He stepped aside and she, after a bit of a struggle with her shopping bags, opened the door and stepped in, setting them down within her room with a thankful sigh before turning back towards him. Awkwardly she smiled, "Thank you again, sir. Today was wonderful.and thank you for inviting me to the Yule gathering." Her smile broadened as she spoke.
His heart was beating furiously within his chest, both with adrenaline from the walk across the grounds, and with the familiarity of their current situation. This was the third time, wasn't the third one always a charm? "The pleasure was mine, Ms. Granger." They stood there for a moment which seemed to last an eternity, both waiting for the other to make a move-any move. Emboldened by her gentle, encouraging smile, and the battle drum that was his thrumming heart, Severus Snape stepped a bit closer to the young woman before him, and bent to immerse himself in her glory.
Hermione trembled uncontrollably, feeling something unexplainable building in the air around them, there was a wild, unruly glint in Snape's eyes as he stepped closer to her, and instinctively she tilted her head back slightly, though her eyes never left his.
They're lips met, and neither was quite prepared for the surge of emotion and intensity which accompanied their gentle touch, it was as though they had opened a flood gate and had finally released the unfathomable feelings that had been haunting them both. Carelessly, Snape dropped his bags, and brought his hands to her sides, and though he did not touch her, they were close enough to feel the heat of her body, even through her thick robes. One hand trailed up, a mere inch from the curve of her back, the slope of her shoulder, until finally his fingers ventured to lightly touch one of her uncontrollable curls.
Slowly she closed her eyes to keep tears from spilling over her flushed cheeks as she experienced the single most beautiful moment of her life. It was she who made the first move to further the kiss, parting her lips slightly, tasting his own with the tip of her tongue, causing her own body to quiver uncontrollably.
He was momentarily startled by her explorations, but recovered, the hand lingering over her wild curls, gently going to the back of her head, the fingers of the hand held away from her waist spreading slightly before finally making contact. He parted his lips as well and tentatively met her tongue with his own, a thrill spreading through him as she deepened the kiss, her own hands traveling up between them to the back of his neck. Compulsively he pulled her to him, reveling in the feeling of her small, feminine body pressed against his own. His hand slid down the back of her neck, then over her spine, and then to her waist as well. Heart rattling his ribcage, and passion quickly welling up inside of him, awakening long sleeping desires; he wanted her, wanted to taste her, touch her, hold her, take her. His abnormally wanton thoughts caused him to abruptly plummet back into reality, like Icarus falling into the sea after foolishly flying to close to the sun. Reluctantly he pulled away from her, and stepped away, retrieving his bags. "I apologize, but I'm afraid I must retire. Good night, Ms. Granger." He did not wait to see the hurt expression upon her face, he simply turned and left, terrified of what would happen if he did not.
*~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*
Touch Me
The Doors
Yeah!
Come on, come on, come on, come on
Now touch me, baby
Can't you see that I am not afraid?
What was that promise that you made?
Why won't you tell me what she said?
What was that promise that you made?
Now, I'm gonna love you
Till the heavens stop the rain
I'm gonna love you
Till the stars fall from the sky for you and I
Come on, come on, come on, come on
Now touch me, baby
Can't you see that I am not afraid?
What was that promise that you made?
Why won't you tell me what she said?
What was that promise that you made?
I'm gonna love you
Till the heavens stop the rain
I'm gonna love you
Till the stars fall from the sky for you and I
I'm gonna love you
Till the heavens stop the rain
I'm gonna love you
Till the stars fall from the sky for you and I
*~~~~~*~~~~~~*
ack! It's 7:16 a.m., do you know where you children are? I mean..uuhhh.yeah.anyways *LOL* I'll go back over this story tomorrow to make sure that it makes sense, but right now I really just want to get it up and out there *LOL* Thank you all for the reviews! You guys rule the school with an iron fist! ;) good night!
Ok, it's 8:30 pm, and I just got up a few hours ago *LOL*..just revised this chapter, getting rid of several rather idiotic mistakes, but nothing really major. Not sure if I'll write tonight, though, after I tried to go to bed this morning for some odd reason I became suddenly ill and had to lay out of work ..ah well, I'll still try, knowing me ;)
Chapter 19
Can't You See That I am Not Afraid?
"Professor, I thought you ought to know, I didn't just regain that one memory of Draco.there were a few more as well." Hermione didn't look up as she spoke, following his lead down a wide sidewalk past numerous muggle stores.
"I'm listening, Ms. Granger." There was no outward sign of it, but his heart was pounding. Had she seen him in her memories? Being awful to her, her best friends expounding upon how disgusting and greasy he was, sniggering about him any chance they had?
"I. I saw my mum and dad, and a few random images of before I came to Hogwarts." She still didn't look up, her face set on the sidewalk before her.
Switching the bags in one hand to the other he reached out and squeezed her hand gently, though never looking her way. He slowed to a stop in front of a run down building a sign above the door which read "Purge and Dowse." In the window there was another sign sitting next to a rather hideous dummy which said "Closed for refurbishment".
Hermione watched, intrigued as Snape approached the dummy in the window and spoke to it so softly that she couldn't hear what he was saying, then much to her surprise the dummy nodded ever so slightly and The Professor, for the first time in a few blocks, turned towards her, and beckoned her forward. "I know this may seem a bit strange, but walk into the window, it isn't solid. I'll let you go first so that you won't be left standing out here alone." At that moment a middle aged witch holding the hand of a young child stepped out of the window and smiled at them both before hurrying off.
Smiling back at the witch and child, Hermione stepped up to the window, summoned her courage, took a quick look around to check for muggles, closed her eyes and walked strait towards the window. She didn't open them again until the sound of the street had faded and instead there was the soft murmur of a several people speaking in hushed voices. Before her was what she assumed to be a reception area. She heard footsteps behind her and turned to find Professor Snape stepping up next to her. "That wasn't too bad." Glancing up at him she offered a faint smile, still feeling the weight of her embarrassment over the scene she had made in Diagon Alley. But hadn't she been justified? He had stolen everything from her; her education, the few remaining years she had with her family, her innocence, and any chance she might have had for a normal life. In one foolish act, he had tossed her too her doom, and hadn't even looked shocked or afraid; hadn't even reached out to catch her, he had simply sneered, and almost seemed delighted.
Walking past the welcome desk, a plump blonde witch looked up and smiled, "Good afternoon, Professor Snape."
He nodded curtly and continued past towards a staircase, "Good afternoon, Ms. Iris."
The blonde smiled and winked at Hermione who smiled back politely before beginning to scale the stairs behind Snape. The hospital was a surprisingly comfortable place which smelled of herbs and magical cleaners, and Hermione found that it reminded her quite a bit of Madame Pomfrey and the hospital wing at Hogwarts. They climbed several flights of stairs, past the Creature induced injuries, Magical Bugs, and Potion and Plant Poisoning wards until they came to the fourth floor: Spell Damage. He led her down a long hallway with many rooms on either side, and left down another hallway until they came to a doorway which had a sign that read, "Janus Thickey Ward".
Hermione grasped her shopping bags a bit tighter as they walked through the double doors; this place had a much different feel, hopeless and somehow frightening. Unexpectedly an image popped into Hermione's mind-- she was eight and she and her parents were walking down a similar hallway, it smelled disinfectant and faintly of urine; and somehow she knew that they were going to visit her grandmother in a nursing home. The memory ended there, however, and she came back to reality, still right behind Professor Snape
There were a few patients out in the hallway, one sitting in a wheelchair, her mouth gaping and eyes fixed in a constant expression of complete terror, and another was standing, facing the wall, rocking back and forth, his hands balled in tight fists. Somewhere in one of the rooms a man was wailing pitifully, in another she could hear someone grunting inhumanely. She followed Snape past them to a room at the very end of the hall on the left, the door was propped open and sunlight was streaming in through a large window at the opposite end of the room. Reluctantly she entered behind him, squinting at the bright sunlight. Across the room sitting in a comfortable looking rocking chair there was a slightly hunched figure with long pure white hair, dressed in Christmassy night robes, staring out of the window, rocking slightly.
Politely Snape rapped on the open door and the old man turned towards him. Hermione was surprised to find that other than being a bit thinner than he had looked in her yearbook, he appeared essentially the same. His smile when he saw them, though, was vague, and there was something off about it. She smiled back despite being slightly unnerved by the strange expression on his face.
"Hallo." He grinned toothily, and slowly began to rise.
"Good afternoon, Albus." Professor Snape set his bags near the door and went to help the older man but Dumbledore was already up by the time he was by his side, and with a strange smile he hobbled over to a large stand in the corner which Hermione hadn't noticed before. A bird about the size of a gray parrot, but bright red and yellow was perched upon it cooing softly at the old man. It lacked primary feathers in both its wings and tail, and so she assumed that it was quite young.
Dumbledore pulled a large piece of dried fruit from the pocket of his robes and offered it to the bird who gently took it from him and began nibbling the edge while holding it up between its taloned toes. Albus turned and hobbled back towards his seat, but paused and hobbled towards her instead, reaching up to his face to adjust his spectacles.
Warily Hermione stood stock still as the looked her over, just a few inches from her face, and then he suddenly smiled, and she noted that he lacked the insanity of his previous deranged grin.
"Hermione Granger! Welcome home, my dear!" He reached towards her and grasped her hand, startlingly strong. "You have returned at last." Still smiling his eyes seemed to search hers, and then his smile faded a bit. "But not without paying a terrible price, I'm afraid." He squeezed her hand even more tightly, his bright blue eyes flashing a thousand different emotions, none of which Hermione was able to read.
Professor Snape was completely floored. Albus had very rarely spoken to any one like that in the two years since the fall of Voldemort. Usually he was clearly demented, reliving his childhood and speaking of long dead friends as if they would come through the door at any moment.
Slowly he turned and walked back towards his window and sank back down into his chair, moving his foot up and down, causing the chair to rock rhythmically.
After a moment of silence, Snape finally forced himself to speak. "We've brought you some candies, Albus." He retrieved the large sack and brought it to Dumbledore who took it from him, eyes gleaming, appearing quite insane once more.
"I love candies, you know." He opened the sack and reached in pulling out a sherbert lemon, unwrapping it a popping it in his mouth. "Is it my birthday again?" He looked up hopefully at Snape.
"No, Albus, but it is almost Christmas."
"Ah yes! That's why I picked these robes. When I was a boy my mother always made the loveliest Christmas robes, and each year she'd make me a pair of delightfully warm socks as well. Have I shown you my new socks?" He stopped rocking for a moment and pulled up his robes sticking out a foot which was clothed in a thick Griffindor red and yellow wool sock. "I think I recieved them for Christmas as well. There's nothing quite like a pair of nice warm socks."
Hermione watched Snape interact with the old man in disbelief. He had leaned up against the wall and was listening intently to him, despite Dumbledore's rambling. In the few days that he had come to know him again, she had never seen him treat someone as he did Dumbledore, accept, perhaps her, though at the same time it was much different.
Setting her bags down next to the Professor's, she situated herself in a small wooden chair which sat near the door and contented herself with simply observing. Absently she reached into her pocket and withdrew her wand, a thrill of delight coursing through her. It was quite possibly one of the most beautiful things she had ever seen. Slender and pale, sending incredibly powerful feelings through her hand. Whispering so as to not disturb the men talking across the room, she pointed at a tiny piece of paper that had fallen to the floor, "Windgardium Leviosa." Just as the wand box had levitated, so did the slip of paper, and she couldn't help but grin.
As the paper flittered to the ground once more she looked up, hearing Dumbledore go into a coughing fit. Professor Snape was immediately by his side looking concerned, a hand upon his back. She was caught off guard by the warmth that flowed through her as she watched them, the sunlight streaming down upon Snape, his ebony hair shining brightly, the honey gold light giving him a bit more color than usual, his black eyes holding none of the cold bitterness they usually did, and for a moment she thought that it much the same as it would be to see him with a young child.
Dumbledore had ceased coughing and had popped another candy into his mouth, rambling on about playing Quidditch as a young boy. Hermione's thoughts wandered as she watched... suddenly she was twelve and Snape was glaring down at her, snarling, she hadn't been looking and Neville had accidentally added the wrong ingredient to their potion, and Snape's expression was frightening at best. The memory ended and Hermione blinked several, forcing herself to push away the hurtful emotions associated with it, and instead focused on waving her wand gently.
Snape pulled a handkerchief from a pocket in his robes and after looking to make sure Hermione wasn't watching, used it to dab away a bit of drool from Dumbledore's chin, quickly pocketing the square of fabric once again. Albus had been his friend, had been there when no one else would give him the time of day, he had never turned him away despite his shortcomings, previous Death Eater status, and horrible bitterness, it was the least Snape could do; but he'd be damned if he'd let anyone else see him do it.
As the old man rambled on about nothing he found himself wishing that he'd suddenly brighten up and say 'Oh goodness, why am I not at Hogwarts, Severus?' But of course, there was no sense in it; wishing was for children and idiots-- not for Severus Snape. He glanced over at Hermione who was levitating a tiny slip of paper, and felt his mood lift considerably. He had never wished for her to return. It had bothered him when she disappeared, of course, they had been on friendly terms when she departed, but he had always held her at arms length, never truly becoming her friend, and now upon foresight, he had to admit that he regretted it, and he regretted never having prayed and wished for her safe return-- perhaps for once the Gods would have listened to his pleas. Another rather disturbing thought crept up on him then. how many other friendships had he missed out on through the years? Not just students, but colleagues, members of the order, people who had died, people who were in other rooms in this rather crowded ward. How many did he push away before he had ever even had the chance to know them? Of course, even if he did try, they would surely of pushed him away just a readily, unless they didn't remember him. He felt warmth creeping over him and he glanced at Hermione once again. What if, as with her, he had had a second chance with them all, what would he have done? Pushed aside childhood insecurities and hurts? Or ruin it all over again? His thoughts were interrupted by a fit of coughing from Dumbledore.
Hermione sat back and examined her wand intently, worrying her bottom lip, and then inspiration suddenly rushed over her. "Lumos." Her voice was barely a whisper, but her wand didn't seem to mind and responded by producing a narrow beam of light. She grinned and waved it around on the floor for a moment. "Nox." The light was extinguished immediately and her grin broadened. "Lumos...Nox..Lumos...Nox." She snickered softly and held her wand up to the light, wishing she had a book of spells in her lap. Of course, what would happen once she did? What if she learned to actually do something powerful with the slender piece of currently harmless wood in her hand? What if she met Malfoy in Diagon Alley some other time? Would she blast him into oblivion? But what Snape had said was indeed true, why waste the time she had remaining because she so desperately wanted revenge? Then again, what did she really have to live for? She had lost her parents, her opportunity for a real education, and for six years, her humanity. Her memories were coming back, of course, but how many would she regain? If she never remembered them, then she had also lost her friends, and even if she did remember them, it had been so long, and they would no doubt be so incredibly different, and she'd be locked in the past without a bridge to where they were standing. And so, she had nothing to hold her back, accept for him. Slowly she looked up to see him picking up Dumbledore's spectacles for him off the floor, and for the briefest moments their eyes met, he smiled, and her world spun.
They spent nearly three hours in Dumbledore's room until a nurse came in and told them that visiting hours had ended. Hermione was thankful, but reluctant as well, the prospect of returning to the solitude of the school looming in the distance. Snape bent and briefly patted Dumbledore on the back, telling him to have a happy Christmas, and to enjoy his sweets and socks, which made the old man grin and show off his socks once more. Hermione then approached and awkwardly bent to hug him, only to have him once again grasp her hand tightly and meet her eye before bending forward to whisper in her ear. "Don't let this boy scare you off, Ms. Granger, he can be a bit stubborn and sometimes sharp tongued, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't care. And dear, good luck with your new wand." He pulled her to him in a firm hug, and then sat back once more grinning and rummaging through the bag of candy. "Happy Christmas, do tell Nicolas I said hello."
Hermione, blushing furiously smiled and nodded though she had no idea who Nicolas was, "Happy Christmas," and along with Professor Snape gathered her bags and left the room, heading back down the hallway. Just as they were leaving the ward, Hermione doubled her pace until she was side by side with Snape who seemed to be in a bit more of a hurry than usual. "Who is Nicolas, Professor Snape?"
"Nicolas Flamel, he passed away three years ago, he and Albus were once good friends." He gracefully made his way down the stairs towards the ground level, his boots barely making a sound as they lightly touched the floor.
She cleared her throat and hurried after him, still mulling over Dumbledore's advice, and found that his moment's of clarity disturbed her more than his obvious insanity, as though he could at any moment become what he once was, his condition teasing those around him into having hope.
Once outside "Purge and Dowse" Snape slowed and then stopped, Hermione catching up a moment later.
"Are you alright, sir?" It was Hermione's turn to reach out and briefly touch his hand.
"Yes, of course, it's just the smell of the hospital.was beginning to make me a bit ill."
He was clearly lying, but she decided not to press the point and instead nodded and pulled her hand away. They stood there for another few minutes, their breath steaming in the chilly evening air. "I was thinking, sir. if you'd like, perhaps we could find a place to eat?" She hadn't noticed before, but as she stood on the lonely sidewalk, her stomach was audibly growling.
"I seriously doubt any restaurant in this area that would accept Galleons, Ms. Granger." He nearly winced at the harshness of his own voice, but instead he straitened, always resolute when it came to following through his own actions or words; but then he remembered the revelation he had had before. This was his second time around with Hermione, what were the chances that he'd have another? "Thankfully I keep a decent sum of muggle money on hand for emergencies." His expression did not change, however he was pleased to see that Hermione's had.
*~~~*~~~~*
They sat across from each other at a simple booth, soft oriental music playing in the background. The small, though rather busy Chinese restaurant had been the only one open that they could find, and though it seemed a bit silly, they both agreed that Asian food would be better than leftovers from dinner at Hogwarts. It ended up being more than true, and though the atmosphere was cheap at best, they both had to admit that the food was quite delicious. Hermione had in front of her a plate of steamed rice, water chestnuts and snow peas in a delightful sauce, and Professor Snape had steamed rice, and mandarin chicken, along with an egg roll in his own. They had gotten their fair share of curious glances from the other patronsno doubt curious about their clearly non-muggle clothing but neither minded in the least bit.
Finishing a bite of his chicken, Snape finally looked up after several minutes of nervous silence. "Will you be attending the staff Yule gathering, Ms. Granger?" He felt something cold explode within him, and immediately he regretting asking her. why not ask her about something more within his league? A potion, an ingredient, anything but a silly staff Christmas party.
Hermione looked up, swallowing a water chestnut, appearing quite perplexed. "I don't believe so; I didn't know there was one."
It was his turn to be perplexed-why hadn't Minerva invited her? "Ah, I see." Again there were several minutes of silence while they each ate slowly, though his mind was working furiously. Should he invite her? What would the rest of the staff say? They'd laugh no doubt, and pity her, but what would it be like sitting alone while the others enjoyed themselves, knowing that she was alone in the dank dungeons. "Ms. Granger, would you perhaps like to accompany me? I'll have to warn you, though; they can be a bit dull."
She was about to take another bite of her rice, but then his words had sunken in and she set her fork down, looking up, trying her best to appear neutral. "That would be lovely, sir." She smiled, forcing it not to be overly enthusiastic, though her heart was doing a rather intense tap dance against her ribs.
Returning her smile, Snape turned his attention to the chicken, his own heart dancing happily, though, both he found himself fearing, and anticipating the reaction from the other staff. And then it felt as though his heart had seized up and fallen over dead in the middle of its euphoric ballet and he shuddered internally. He had just requested that she accompany him, had asked her to be his date; he nearly choked on a piece of chicken at the thought.
Again they were lost in silence, though their minds were anything but quiet, this time until they had both nearly finished. "I've enjoyed today, sir, thank you."
He looked up, swallowing the last of his rice to see Hermione smiling warmly, and couldn't help but reciprocate. "As have I, Ms. Granger." The warm, though slightly embarrassed smile that graced her face at his words was completely priceless, and caused his heart to leap to life once more. It wasn't much longer before they had both finished and the young waitress brought them their ticket and two fortune cookies.
Hermione was the first to choose one, and handed the other to Snape who stared at it dubiously. "Oh, come on, now, Professor, open it." She grinned and began opening hers, and finally so did he. Cracking open the cookie, she pulled out a small strip of paper and read it out loud. "You will travel far, and meet a tall, dark, and handsome man and go out to eat Chinese food." She grinned over at him and he cocked his eyebrow. "Quite disturbing how these things can be so accurate, don't you think?"
"Indeed." The corner of his mouth twitched, and he looked down at the cookie in his hand as he broke it open, succeeding in concealing his emotions. She had just openly proclaimed that he was handsome. Never in his entire life had anyone woman called him handsome. Distinguished, brilliant or intriguing, yes, but never handsome. He pulled the slip of paper from the cookie and held it up so he could read the small print. "If you have many friends, then you have no friends." He blinked, and could barely suppress a smile, realizing just exactly how true that was.
*~~~*~~~*
Leaving the restaurant behind, both smiling warmly, their bellies full of good food, and both in high spirits, they headed into a dark alley, Snape in the lead, Hermione shivering nervously. Abruptly he stopped as they rounded a corner, and Hermione followed suite. Reaching towards her he took her hand into his own, and she closed her eyes, hoping and praying that he'd bend to kiss her. Instead it felt as though she was being swiftly pulled forward by a thread extending from her stomach, and she gasped in surprise. His grip on her hand tightened reassuringly and abruptly the pulling stopped and she stumbled against him.
They were standing outside the gates of Hogwarts. He paused and without a word withdrew his hand from hers and pulled his wand from his robes. Startled, she realized exactly how close to the forbidden forest they were, and though she hadn't the faintest idea how to use it against an enemy, Hermione pulled hers out as well. Trembling slightly, she followed him along the lengthy, winding path up to the front door of the castle, sighing heavily as they entered the entrance hall, she shut the door behind them. There were a few students mingling near the entrance to the great hall, but they were silent as Snape strode across the floor, Hermione close behind.
In what seemed to be mere moments they were at her door. He stepped aside and she, after a bit of a struggle with her shopping bags, opened the door and stepped in, setting them down within her room with a thankful sigh before turning back towards him. Awkwardly she smiled, "Thank you again, sir. Today was wonderful.and thank you for inviting me to the Yule gathering." Her smile broadened as she spoke.
His heart was beating furiously within his chest, both with adrenaline from the walk across the grounds, and with the familiarity of their current situation. This was the third time, wasn't the third one always a charm? "The pleasure was mine, Ms. Granger." They stood there for a moment which seemed to last an eternity, both waiting for the other to make a move-any move. Emboldened by her gentle, encouraging smile, and the battle drum that was his thrumming heart, Severus Snape stepped a bit closer to the young woman before him, and bent to immerse himself in her glory.
Hermione trembled uncontrollably, feeling something unexplainable building in the air around them, there was a wild, unruly glint in Snape's eyes as he stepped closer to her, and instinctively she tilted her head back slightly, though her eyes never left his.
They're lips met, and neither was quite prepared for the surge of emotion and intensity which accompanied their gentle touch, it was as though they had opened a flood gate and had finally released the unfathomable feelings that had been haunting them both. Carelessly, Snape dropped his bags, and brought his hands to her sides, and though he did not touch her, they were close enough to feel the heat of her body, even through her thick robes. One hand trailed up, a mere inch from the curve of her back, the slope of her shoulder, until finally his fingers ventured to lightly touch one of her uncontrollable curls.
Slowly she closed her eyes to keep tears from spilling over her flushed cheeks as she experienced the single most beautiful moment of her life. It was she who made the first move to further the kiss, parting her lips slightly, tasting his own with the tip of her tongue, causing her own body to quiver uncontrollably.
He was momentarily startled by her explorations, but recovered, the hand lingering over her wild curls, gently going to the back of her head, the fingers of the hand held away from her waist spreading slightly before finally making contact. He parted his lips as well and tentatively met her tongue with his own, a thrill spreading through him as she deepened the kiss, her own hands traveling up between them to the back of his neck. Compulsively he pulled her to him, reveling in the feeling of her small, feminine body pressed against his own. His hand slid down the back of her neck, then over her spine, and then to her waist as well. Heart rattling his ribcage, and passion quickly welling up inside of him, awakening long sleeping desires; he wanted her, wanted to taste her, touch her, hold her, take her. His abnormally wanton thoughts caused him to abruptly plummet back into reality, like Icarus falling into the sea after foolishly flying to close to the sun. Reluctantly he pulled away from her, and stepped away, retrieving his bags. "I apologize, but I'm afraid I must retire. Good night, Ms. Granger." He did not wait to see the hurt expression upon her face, he simply turned and left, terrified of what would happen if he did not.
*~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~*
Touch Me
The Doors
Yeah!
Come on, come on, come on, come on
Now touch me, baby
Can't you see that I am not afraid?
What was that promise that you made?
Why won't you tell me what she said?
What was that promise that you made?
Now, I'm gonna love you
Till the heavens stop the rain
I'm gonna love you
Till the stars fall from the sky for you and I
Come on, come on, come on, come on
Now touch me, baby
Can't you see that I am not afraid?
What was that promise that you made?
Why won't you tell me what she said?
What was that promise that you made?
I'm gonna love you
Till the heavens stop the rain
I'm gonna love you
Till the stars fall from the sky for you and I
I'm gonna love you
Till the heavens stop the rain
I'm gonna love you
Till the stars fall from the sky for you and I
*~~~~~*~~~~~~*
ack! It's 7:16 a.m., do you know where you children are? I mean..uuhhh.yeah.anyways *LOL* I'll go back over this story tomorrow to make sure that it makes sense, but right now I really just want to get it up and out there *LOL* Thank you all for the reviews! You guys rule the school with an iron fist! ;) good night!
Ok, it's 8:30 pm, and I just got up a few hours ago *LOL*..just revised this chapter, getting rid of several rather idiotic mistakes, but nothing really major. Not sure if I'll write tonight, though, after I tried to go to bed this morning for some odd reason I became suddenly ill and had to lay out of work ..ah well, I'll still try, knowing me ;)