Disclaimer: I don't own Oompa Loompas, everything in this story from chapter 1 to the end that you recognize is NOT MINE.
A/N: Things actually get kind of serious in this chapter.
"What are you doing to the house elves?" Ron asked.
"My prince, don't be such a joy killer." Hermione replied, rolling her eyes. "Happy, (a.k.a. Dobby) I'd like my ring back now."
"No, it's mine! My own! You want it for yourself!" Dobby answered angrily.
"Darn right! It's mine!" Hermione growled.
Dobby bared his teeth and pounced onto Hermione.
"AHHH!" she screamed.
The dwarves/house elves/oompa loompas started to sing a song:
Oompa Loompa, doompadee doo
We have a perfect puzzle for you
Oompa Loompa, doompadee dee
If you are wise you will listen me
What do you get when you boss around elves?
Talking as much as an parrot on speed
Where did you get your weed?
What do you think this tells?
I don't like the look of it
Oompa Loompa, doompadee dah
If you're not pushy you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa doompadee do
Doompadee do
"Bugger off!" Hermione said, grabbing Ron's hand and leading him out of the room.
Outside of the Great Hall, Snape stopped the group.
"Bat-kid-in-underwear, I just want you to know that whatever happens to us in there…you are like a son to me." he said, with a hand on Harry's shoulder.
"What about me?" Draco pouted.
"What about you?" Snape asked, confused.
Dumbledore, Snape, Harry and Draco rushed into the Great Hall. Dumbledore stopped suddenly at the sight of Voldemort…they all tumbled like dominos.
Voldemort giggled like a little girl upon seeing his scheme had worked. Trying to cover his giggles with a cough, he pulled Harry up.
"Potter, we meet at last." he said.
Harry, looked pressed his lips tight. Eyes wide, he looked from side to side anxiously.
"I'm not Harry." he said, "I bet that's this dude in pink spandex's name." He shoved Draco forward.
"You fool!" Voldemort exclaimed, taking out his wand and pointing it at Harry he exclaimed "Reidentio!"
Harry stumbled when he was hit with the blow. Gaining his composure, he looked up at Voldemort.
"Hello, Tom." Harry said, as bravely as he could muster. He glanced at his surroundings. He noted the students were strapped to their seats, strange how no one was crying or struggling to escape. Some appeared to have passed out. He glanced at the people standing closely beside him. Dumbledore, Snape, Draco…he did a double take.
"Draco! Why are you wearing pink spandex?" he cried, falling to the ground, all attempts at bravery forgotten. "Tom, you are one sick bugger!"
"I am not responsible for young Malfoy's lack of taste." Voldemort said, looking Draco up and down "Neon pink! Baby pink would have looked so much nicer with his complexion."
Harry's jaw dropped. "Is some kind of a joke? Am I dreaming?"
"No, Potter." Voldemort snarled. "Now you must face me. We will fight to the death!"
"I will Tom, and I will win. " Harry looked Voldemort directly in the eyes. "Prepare to die."
They stared each other down for a moment, until Voldemort broke the silence. "Nice tighty whities."
Harry jumped. He looked down at himself. "AHHHHH!!!!!" he screamed turning to run.
Voldemort immediately used his magic to pull a chair forward and tie Harry to it. Tears streamed down Harry's face.
"I know what this is Voldemort! You have gotten into my dreams!"
"No, Potter. You are indeed awake."
"But I had a dream just like this last week!" Harry protested "And you're acting weird! And no one is even trying to help me! I know they would if this was the real world!'
"Just waiting for the right moment, Harry." Snape whispered loudly.
"Bugger you! This bloke's bloody scary!" Draco exclaimed.
"Why, thank you!" Voldemort replied with a smirk.
"Dumbledore?" Harry begged.
"Hmm?" Dumbledore said, momentarily looking up from his nails, which he had began to clean.
"They have lost their identities Harry. They no longer care about what happens to you or themselves. They lose brain cells as we speak due to the poison I cleverly instructed a corrupted house elf to put into Hogwart's pumpkin juice. Go me!" Voldemort giggled.
"Voldemort should not be giggling. He should not be saying GO ME. I am dreaming! RON! RON, WAKE ME UP RON!" Harry began to scream frantically.
Peter stepped forward. "This scheme was concocted last night when the Dark Lord had too much Fire Whisky. I suspect he may still be drunk."
Harry immediately passed out.
Ron and Hermione had carefully been observing the situation, standing at the back of the Great Hall. When Harry shouted Ron's name, something clicked. "We need to help that bloke right there." he said, pointing.
"I also feel a compelling urge to help." Hermione said, frowning and wrinkling her forehead.
"But how?" Ron asked.
"We streak the Great Hall!" Hermione announced, proud of her great wit.
"But I don't want to!" Ron protested, blushing beet red.
"If you want to be my prince, YOU WILL STREAK!" Hermione screeched.
Faces turned towards the couple.
"Now is the time," Hermione announced ripping off her clothing "the ultimate distraction!"
With a gulp, Ron also took off his clothing as quickly as possible.
"Ennervate!" Voldemort said, pointing his want at Harry "You will awake at your demise. Avada Ke-"
He was interrupted by two streakers running through the group to the opposite end of the Great Hall. Snape took this opportunity turn his wand on the Dark Lord, turning him into a baby pink poodle. Draco turned Peter into a ladybug. Snape untied Harry.
"Snape, you saved me," Harry said, amazed "thank you."
"Snape?" he asked "No, please call me Bat Man."
Harry gazed at Snape oddly, trying not to laugh. "Reidentio" he said, repeating the spell he heard Voldemort use on him earlier.
"What is going on here?" Snape exclaimed.
"I'll explain later, please just cast the Reidentio spell on as many students as you can, and get them to cast the spell on others." Harry requested, as Snape gave him a dirty look. Harry moved to catch the lady bug a.k.a. Peter before it escaped, but as he reached towards it Voldie the poodle ate the bug as a snack.
Harry scowled, "He deserved a more horrible death, but I'm just glad he's gone." He used "Stickius" to charm the poodle's feet to the floor. At this time he realized Dumbledore and Draco had not yet been gave back their identities.
He started to point his wand at Draco…then he realized he liked this Draco much better than the prior Draco and stopped.
"Reidentio!" he said, pointing his want at Dumbledore.
"Oh my…" Dumbledore said, "What's going on here? And whose puddle is this? Adorable thing."
Dumbledore leaned forward to pat the poodle.
"No, Professor," Harry started "This poodle is Lord Voldemort."
Dumbledore raised his eyebrows. "Harry, I can't say I'm surprised with all the stress you've been under. I fear you're having a breakdown."
Harry tried to calm his temper…and failed "LOOK AROUND YOU!", he cried.
Dumbledore looked at the students, slowly being freed. His eyebrows raised. He then turned to Malfoy.
"Mr. Malfoy…you're in spandex." he stated
"Don't you li-" Draco started.
"We were all victims of a curse that took away our identities." Harry exclaimed. Dumbledore's eyes went wide in understanding, he raised his wand at Draco.
"No, I already gave him his identity back." Harry lied.
Dumbledore nodded. "Permantio" he said, pointing his wand at the dog. "This will keep Voldemort in this state permanently. You know what you must do, Harry."
He went to the Gryffindor table to help free students.
Harry turned to Voldie-poodle. "Well, I guess even you know this is your end."
Voldie poodle growled.
"I guess you don't want to live life as a poodle. Personally, if it wasn't for this prophecy thing, I would put you in the pound and hope you get adopted by muggles who name you Prissy and keep you tied to a tree day and night."
Harry concentrated on the memories of Sirius, his parents, and Cedric. With the resulting burst of hatred, he cried "Avada Kedavra"
There was a dead poodle on the floor. Harry could not believe it! He no longer had to live waiting for death at Voldemort's hand. He smiled, then began to laugh. He turned to run to Gryffindor Tower. He needed some alone time to take this in.
Upon entering the common room Harry was shocked. Ron appeared to be passed out on the couch and Hermione was putting little braids in his hair. Their clothes were dishevelled.
"Hi ya, Harry." Hermione said happily "Can I braid your hair too?"
Harry grimaced at the embarrassment his friends would feel upon getting their identities back.
"Reidentio," he said to both of his friends in turn.
"Bloody hell!" Ron exclaimed.
"What happened?" they asked in union.
"Why are my clothes like this?," Hermione asked, looking nervously at Ron.
"I believe you streaked the Great Hall, but no one but me will remember," Harry told them. "Do you remember anything?"
"Well," Hermione started, looking at Ron "I remember I had a good time."
Ron smiled.
Harry took a seat in a nearby chair.
"So, I defeated the drunken Dark Lord by killing him in the form of a poodle." he stated casually, grinning.
Hermione's jaw dropped. Ron's eyes went wide.
EPILOGUE:
-Draco made a fool of himself singing "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls in his pink spandex for everyone in the Great Hall. Snape cast the counter-spell.
-Everyone slowly regained their memories. Snape was horrified he made friends with Harry and as a result became addicted to calming potions. He became much pleasanter.
-The house elves got a new love for fun and began to support S.P.E.W. They became paid workers. Dobby and Winky married and had a baby they named Dinky.
-Ron and Hermione were commonly teased for streaking. They realised their feelings for each other and started to date. They married after they graduated and had twin boys they named "Bill" and "Bob".
A/N: Things actually get kind of serious in this chapter.
"What are you doing to the house elves?" Ron asked.
"My prince, don't be such a joy killer." Hermione replied, rolling her eyes. "Happy, (a.k.a. Dobby) I'd like my ring back now."
"No, it's mine! My own! You want it for yourself!" Dobby answered angrily.
"Darn right! It's mine!" Hermione growled.
Dobby bared his teeth and pounced onto Hermione.
"AHHH!" she screamed.
The dwarves/house elves/oompa loompas started to sing a song:
Oompa Loompa, doompadee doo
We have a perfect puzzle for you
Oompa Loompa, doompadee dee
If you are wise you will listen me
What do you get when you boss around elves?
Talking as much as an parrot on speed
Where did you get your weed?
What do you think this tells?
I don't like the look of it
Oompa Loompa, doompadee dah
If you're not pushy you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa doompadee do
Doompadee do
"Bugger off!" Hermione said, grabbing Ron's hand and leading him out of the room.
Outside of the Great Hall, Snape stopped the group.
"Bat-kid-in-underwear, I just want you to know that whatever happens to us in there…you are like a son to me." he said, with a hand on Harry's shoulder.
"What about me?" Draco pouted.
"What about you?" Snape asked, confused.
Dumbledore, Snape, Harry and Draco rushed into the Great Hall. Dumbledore stopped suddenly at the sight of Voldemort…they all tumbled like dominos.
Voldemort giggled like a little girl upon seeing his scheme had worked. Trying to cover his giggles with a cough, he pulled Harry up.
"Potter, we meet at last." he said.
Harry, looked pressed his lips tight. Eyes wide, he looked from side to side anxiously.
"I'm not Harry." he said, "I bet that's this dude in pink spandex's name." He shoved Draco forward.
"You fool!" Voldemort exclaimed, taking out his wand and pointing it at Harry he exclaimed "Reidentio!"
Harry stumbled when he was hit with the blow. Gaining his composure, he looked up at Voldemort.
"Hello, Tom." Harry said, as bravely as he could muster. He glanced at his surroundings. He noted the students were strapped to their seats, strange how no one was crying or struggling to escape. Some appeared to have passed out. He glanced at the people standing closely beside him. Dumbledore, Snape, Draco…he did a double take.
"Draco! Why are you wearing pink spandex?" he cried, falling to the ground, all attempts at bravery forgotten. "Tom, you are one sick bugger!"
"I am not responsible for young Malfoy's lack of taste." Voldemort said, looking Draco up and down "Neon pink! Baby pink would have looked so much nicer with his complexion."
Harry's jaw dropped. "Is some kind of a joke? Am I dreaming?"
"No, Potter." Voldemort snarled. "Now you must face me. We will fight to the death!"
"I will Tom, and I will win. " Harry looked Voldemort directly in the eyes. "Prepare to die."
They stared each other down for a moment, until Voldemort broke the silence. "Nice tighty whities."
Harry jumped. He looked down at himself. "AHHHHH!!!!!" he screamed turning to run.
Voldemort immediately used his magic to pull a chair forward and tie Harry to it. Tears streamed down Harry's face.
"I know what this is Voldemort! You have gotten into my dreams!"
"No, Potter. You are indeed awake."
"But I had a dream just like this last week!" Harry protested "And you're acting weird! And no one is even trying to help me! I know they would if this was the real world!'
"Just waiting for the right moment, Harry." Snape whispered loudly.
"Bugger you! This bloke's bloody scary!" Draco exclaimed.
"Why, thank you!" Voldemort replied with a smirk.
"Dumbledore?" Harry begged.
"Hmm?" Dumbledore said, momentarily looking up from his nails, which he had began to clean.
"They have lost their identities Harry. They no longer care about what happens to you or themselves. They lose brain cells as we speak due to the poison I cleverly instructed a corrupted house elf to put into Hogwart's pumpkin juice. Go me!" Voldemort giggled.
"Voldemort should not be giggling. He should not be saying GO ME. I am dreaming! RON! RON, WAKE ME UP RON!" Harry began to scream frantically.
Peter stepped forward. "This scheme was concocted last night when the Dark Lord had too much Fire Whisky. I suspect he may still be drunk."
Harry immediately passed out.
Ron and Hermione had carefully been observing the situation, standing at the back of the Great Hall. When Harry shouted Ron's name, something clicked. "We need to help that bloke right there." he said, pointing.
"I also feel a compelling urge to help." Hermione said, frowning and wrinkling her forehead.
"But how?" Ron asked.
"We streak the Great Hall!" Hermione announced, proud of her great wit.
"But I don't want to!" Ron protested, blushing beet red.
"If you want to be my prince, YOU WILL STREAK!" Hermione screeched.
Faces turned towards the couple.
"Now is the time," Hermione announced ripping off her clothing "the ultimate distraction!"
With a gulp, Ron also took off his clothing as quickly as possible.
"Ennervate!" Voldemort said, pointing his want at Harry "You will awake at your demise. Avada Ke-"
He was interrupted by two streakers running through the group to the opposite end of the Great Hall. Snape took this opportunity turn his wand on the Dark Lord, turning him into a baby pink poodle. Draco turned Peter into a ladybug. Snape untied Harry.
"Snape, you saved me," Harry said, amazed "thank you."
"Snape?" he asked "No, please call me Bat Man."
Harry gazed at Snape oddly, trying not to laugh. "Reidentio" he said, repeating the spell he heard Voldemort use on him earlier.
"What is going on here?" Snape exclaimed.
"I'll explain later, please just cast the Reidentio spell on as many students as you can, and get them to cast the spell on others." Harry requested, as Snape gave him a dirty look. Harry moved to catch the lady bug a.k.a. Peter before it escaped, but as he reached towards it Voldie the poodle ate the bug as a snack.
Harry scowled, "He deserved a more horrible death, but I'm just glad he's gone." He used "Stickius" to charm the poodle's feet to the floor. At this time he realized Dumbledore and Draco had not yet been gave back their identities.
He started to point his wand at Draco…then he realized he liked this Draco much better than the prior Draco and stopped.
"Reidentio!" he said, pointing his want at Dumbledore.
"Oh my…" Dumbledore said, "What's going on here? And whose puddle is this? Adorable thing."
Dumbledore leaned forward to pat the poodle.
"No, Professor," Harry started "This poodle is Lord Voldemort."
Dumbledore raised his eyebrows. "Harry, I can't say I'm surprised with all the stress you've been under. I fear you're having a breakdown."
Harry tried to calm his temper…and failed "LOOK AROUND YOU!", he cried.
Dumbledore looked at the students, slowly being freed. His eyebrows raised. He then turned to Malfoy.
"Mr. Malfoy…you're in spandex." he stated
"Don't you li-" Draco started.
"We were all victims of a curse that took away our identities." Harry exclaimed. Dumbledore's eyes went wide in understanding, he raised his wand at Draco.
"No, I already gave him his identity back." Harry lied.
Dumbledore nodded. "Permantio" he said, pointing his wand at the dog. "This will keep Voldemort in this state permanently. You know what you must do, Harry."
He went to the Gryffindor table to help free students.
Harry turned to Voldie-poodle. "Well, I guess even you know this is your end."
Voldie poodle growled.
"I guess you don't want to live life as a poodle. Personally, if it wasn't for this prophecy thing, I would put you in the pound and hope you get adopted by muggles who name you Prissy and keep you tied to a tree day and night."
Harry concentrated on the memories of Sirius, his parents, and Cedric. With the resulting burst of hatred, he cried "Avada Kedavra"
There was a dead poodle on the floor. Harry could not believe it! He no longer had to live waiting for death at Voldemort's hand. He smiled, then began to laugh. He turned to run to Gryffindor Tower. He needed some alone time to take this in.
Upon entering the common room Harry was shocked. Ron appeared to be passed out on the couch and Hermione was putting little braids in his hair. Their clothes were dishevelled.
"Hi ya, Harry." Hermione said happily "Can I braid your hair too?"
Harry grimaced at the embarrassment his friends would feel upon getting their identities back.
"Reidentio," he said to both of his friends in turn.
"Bloody hell!" Ron exclaimed.
"What happened?" they asked in union.
"Why are my clothes like this?," Hermione asked, looking nervously at Ron.
"I believe you streaked the Great Hall, but no one but me will remember," Harry told them. "Do you remember anything?"
"Well," Hermione started, looking at Ron "I remember I had a good time."
Ron smiled.
Harry took a seat in a nearby chair.
"So, I defeated the drunken Dark Lord by killing him in the form of a poodle." he stated casually, grinning.
Hermione's jaw dropped. Ron's eyes went wide.
EPILOGUE:
-Draco made a fool of himself singing "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls in his pink spandex for everyone in the Great Hall. Snape cast the counter-spell.
-Everyone slowly regained their memories. Snape was horrified he made friends with Harry and as a result became addicted to calming potions. He became much pleasanter.
-The house elves got a new love for fun and began to support S.P.E.W. They became paid workers. Dobby and Winky married and had a baby they named Dinky.
-Ron and Hermione were commonly teased for streaking. They realised their feelings for each other and started to date. They married after they graduated and had twin boys they named "Bill" and "Bob".