Disclaimers and summary on first chapter
Chapter 19 -Since You're Here-
+Roger's POV+
I feel a hand on my arm and slowly I open my eyes. Mark smiles gently and hands me a bowl of cereal. I take it and sit up. He climbs back into his bed beside me. He kisses my temple and wraps an arm around my waist. I start to eat, praying my body won't reject food today, more for his sake than mine.
"How are you today?" He asks me.
I wince when I swallow some cereal, but nod at Mark.
"Better." I say quietly. I smile at him. "Since you're here." His lips meet mine for a soft but brief kiss. I take some more cereal.
"I thought maybe, we could. . . go for a walk today." He says hesitantly.
I nod, still chewing. "Sure."
"It'll get you away from Maureen at least." He says.
I smile. "And alone with you."
I know he's blushing, I don't have to look over, but I do anyway. Sure enough his cheeks are tinged with pink and he has that small, nervous smile I see a lot of. Usually when I tease him or say things like that. I kiss his cheek and then his lips.
"I love you."
He leans against my body and lays his head on my shoulder.
"Love you too." He whispers.
+++
The cereal didn't stay down as much as I'd hoped. About ten minutes later I was hunched over the toilet with Mark beside me, gently rubbing my back and my shoulders.
My throat now burning I sit next to Mark on the couch, enveloped in his arms. I feel incredibly sick and despite the glass of water he poured for me, I can't rid my mouth of the taste of vomit. I set my glass down and bury my head in his chest. I've started to cry and my whole body is shaking. I've never wanted a hit more in my life.
"God Mark, it hurts so bad sometimes." I tell him, my voice choked and heavy from my tears.
I know he's nervous, he always gets that way if I'm upset or if I cry. He swallows and pulls me closer.
"I know, Rog. But it'll be ok. You're much better off now. Don't you think?"
I shake my head. "No! I need it, Mark. I need it now!"
"No, you don't, Roger."
I push him away. "I need it! I'm going to get it!" I start to stand up and he watches me speechless. I take a couple of unsteady steps toward the door and then feel myself falling. He comes to my side and I roll onto my back, holding my left arm that I fell on top of.
I look up at him, furious. "I hate you, you know. What are you good for? You won't help me when I need help! Jesus Mark, I hurt all over! Every part of me hurts!"
"You don't mean that, Roger. I know you don't."
"What if I do? Fuck off, Mark." I push him away from me and try to get up. He leaves me alone for a few minutes, struggling to get up and falling, finally curling my legs up to my chest and laying my head in my hands. I feel Mark's arms around me and I lean against him.
"I'm sorry." I tell him softly. "I don't mean it. I love you. I really. . . God Mark, I'm sorry."
"It's alright, Rog." He kisses my hair. "You'll be alright."
"Since you're here." I whisper, and I know he smiles.
+++
Notes: REALLY short chapter, sorry about that. Sometimes they get almost too sweet for me, but I love sensitive Roger. Almost as much as asshole macho Roger. ;) Thanks for reading, I'll update more Tuesday or Wednesday.
Chapter 19 -Since You're Here-
+Roger's POV+
I feel a hand on my arm and slowly I open my eyes. Mark smiles gently and hands me a bowl of cereal. I take it and sit up. He climbs back into his bed beside me. He kisses my temple and wraps an arm around my waist. I start to eat, praying my body won't reject food today, more for his sake than mine.
"How are you today?" He asks me.
I wince when I swallow some cereal, but nod at Mark.
"Better." I say quietly. I smile at him. "Since you're here." His lips meet mine for a soft but brief kiss. I take some more cereal.
"I thought maybe, we could. . . go for a walk today." He says hesitantly.
I nod, still chewing. "Sure."
"It'll get you away from Maureen at least." He says.
I smile. "And alone with you."
I know he's blushing, I don't have to look over, but I do anyway. Sure enough his cheeks are tinged with pink and he has that small, nervous smile I see a lot of. Usually when I tease him or say things like that. I kiss his cheek and then his lips.
"I love you."
He leans against my body and lays his head on my shoulder.
"Love you too." He whispers.
+++
The cereal didn't stay down as much as I'd hoped. About ten minutes later I was hunched over the toilet with Mark beside me, gently rubbing my back and my shoulders.
My throat now burning I sit next to Mark on the couch, enveloped in his arms. I feel incredibly sick and despite the glass of water he poured for me, I can't rid my mouth of the taste of vomit. I set my glass down and bury my head in his chest. I've started to cry and my whole body is shaking. I've never wanted a hit more in my life.
"God Mark, it hurts so bad sometimes." I tell him, my voice choked and heavy from my tears.
I know he's nervous, he always gets that way if I'm upset or if I cry. He swallows and pulls me closer.
"I know, Rog. But it'll be ok. You're much better off now. Don't you think?"
I shake my head. "No! I need it, Mark. I need it now!"
"No, you don't, Roger."
I push him away. "I need it! I'm going to get it!" I start to stand up and he watches me speechless. I take a couple of unsteady steps toward the door and then feel myself falling. He comes to my side and I roll onto my back, holding my left arm that I fell on top of.
I look up at him, furious. "I hate you, you know. What are you good for? You won't help me when I need help! Jesus Mark, I hurt all over! Every part of me hurts!"
"You don't mean that, Roger. I know you don't."
"What if I do? Fuck off, Mark." I push him away from me and try to get up. He leaves me alone for a few minutes, struggling to get up and falling, finally curling my legs up to my chest and laying my head in my hands. I feel Mark's arms around me and I lean against him.
"I'm sorry." I tell him softly. "I don't mean it. I love you. I really. . . God Mark, I'm sorry."
"It's alright, Rog." He kisses my hair. "You'll be alright."
"Since you're here." I whisper, and I know he smiles.
+++
Notes: REALLY short chapter, sorry about that. Sometimes they get almost too sweet for me, but I love sensitive Roger. Almost as much as asshole macho Roger. ;) Thanks for reading, I'll update more Tuesday or Wednesday.