Disclaimers and summary on first chapter
Notes: Assume Mark spent the weekend at Roger's house. It's now sometime during Sunday, probably late afternoon. Ok? Super! Read on!
Chapter 24 -I Just Want You To Be Normal-
+Mark's POV+
Roger stops the car in front of my house. He looks over at me hesitantly.
"Do you want me to go in with you?"
I smirk. "Somehow, I don't think that's going to help."
He sighs. "I just thought. . ."
"I know. It's alright, I just think I should talk to them alone."
"Are you going to tell them?"
I look over at him in amazement. "What? Tell them? You're not serious!"
"Why not?"
"My dad just threw me out for assuming I'm gay. I'm not about to admit it to him. I'd like somewhere to sleep at night."
Roger smiles gently. "You can come sleep with me."
I roll my eyes. "What, are you going to adopt me? I can't just move in with you."
"So you're not going to say anything?"
"No, and I don't you should either."
"Why not?"
"Because, Roger," I say, exasperated. "I can't deal with that! I don't want the stigma of being 'gay'."
"Stigma? What does that mean?"
I open the door. "Nevermind, just, nevermind." I slam the door behind me.
"I'll see you tomorrow." He calls out the open window. I turn to watch him drive away, wishing he had stayed, just in case this doesn't go well.
I knock on the door, feeling strange about having to knock at my own house, but I don't have a key. Cindy opens it.
"Oh, look who's home." She lowers her voice. "Queer."
"Fuck off, Cindy, let me in."
She leans back against the door, leaving a small path for me to get by her. "Daddy's in the living room with mom. There're talking about you."
"Great." I sigh. Pushing past Cindy I walk through the front room and toward the hallway leading to the living room. Cindy hurries past me. I try to grab her arm to stop her, but she's too quick.
"Daddy! Mark's home! His little boyfriend dropped him off!" She giggles when I try to punch her and pushes me into the living room.
My parents are sitting together on a couch, when my dad sees me he stands up. I close my eyes and shrink away, expecting him to yell or hit me. What he does both surprises and scares me.
He wraps his arms around my body and pulls me into a brief and awkward hug. I open my eyes, unbelieving, and look up at him when he pulls away.
"Are you ok?" He asks me.
I swallow and nod, still wary of the way he's acting. I see Cindy in the doorway and can tell she's just as shocked as I am. Obviously she was expecting the same kind of embarrassing lecture as I was.
"Did he hurt you? What did he do to you?"
I pull away from my father. "Nothing! Roger's not like that, he's just my friend."
My father narrows his eyes at me. "Don't lie to protect him, Mark."
"Honestly," I lie. "We're not like that. You imagined the whole thing."
He sighs. "Mark, it's ok. We want to help you."
I sit down on an armchair. "You just don't understand."
"What don't I understand? I'm trying to save my only son from being corrupted and I get 'I don't understand' from you?"
"He's my friend, my only friend. Why would you assume that. . ."
"I knew it about that kid, I knew it the first time I saw him. Cocky little bastard, I knew he would be bad for you." He turns to glare at my mother. "And you let him go with him! You encouraged it!" He gestures over at me "You want him to be that way or what? What's he supposed to think?"
"I thought it was nice for Mark to have someone other than Maureen as a friend. A boy, someone he could relate to."
"Or skip school to make out with." I feel my face react in shock and I bite my lip and look away. My father lays a hand on my arm.
"I'm sorry for the things I've said, Mark. I just want you to be normal. I thought that if you saw what it would be like that way you'd come to your senses. I want you to be happy."
I look up into his eyes and I can see that he honestly believes what he's saying, that he's sincere. I've never hated him more in my life. I stand up angrily.
"I'm not gay! And what if I was? You say you want me to be happy, but you want me to do what would make you happy, not me! Do you really care at all?"
He pushes me then. "Shut up!" I fall backwards and hit my sore arm on the table. I cry out in pain and grab at it. I hear my mother gasp and even Cindy's slight intake of breath. I glare up at him.
He kneels beside me and holds out a hand. "I didn't mean to. . ."
I brush it away. "Yeah, you never mean to. Why can't you just go back to ignoring me? I think I liked that better."
There's actually hurt in his face. Anger mostly, but hurt as well. My mother stands up and comes to my side.
"I think you should leave him alone for now." She says to him, her voice calm, even.
He looks over at her, and I expect him to lash out, but instead he nods and stands up. He looks back at me one more time and I continue to glare. He gestures to Cindy and she reluctantly leaves with him.
My mother helps me sit up and I lean against the chair.
"Your father means well." She smiles sadly. "Unfortunately you're thinking on two different levels."
"I hate him."
She shakes her head. "No you don't. You just don't understand him, and he doesn't understand you."
"I'm not gay, why can't he understand that?"
She shrugs. "Well, if that's what you say." She lowers her voice. "You don't have to lie to me, Mark."
I stare at her in disbelief. I'm tempted to tell her that I've spent the weekend sitting on Roger's bed with him, kissing and touching and talking and that it's been the best couple days in my life since we've been together, but I hold back. Out of fear maybe, though fear of what I don't know.
"I'm not. Can you make him believe that?"
She shakes her head sadly. "He'll believe what he wants to believe. I won't be able to change it."
"Will he get mad, if I hang out with Roger?" I ask her hesitantly.
"Not mad, I don't think. I think he's past that. He's concerned now. He loves you, Mark. No matter what you think."
"But can I. . ."
"Yes. You can." She sighs. "Just don't advertise it."
I look in my mother's eyes when she gives me a small, sad smile. I've always felt pretty comfortable with her, it's not quite the relationship Roger has with his mom, but it's something. I think somehow she knows, no matter what I tell her and I've never loved her more than I do now. She touches the side of my face and kisses my forehead.
"It'll be ok. In the end, it'll all be ok."
+++
Notes Continued: More coming soon, though I'm not sure how soon. I have a pretty busy week, but I'll try to keep my updates regular. Hope you've all enjoyed so far, thank you for reading/reviewing!
Notes: Assume Mark spent the weekend at Roger's house. It's now sometime during Sunday, probably late afternoon. Ok? Super! Read on!
Chapter 24 -I Just Want You To Be Normal-
+Mark's POV+
Roger stops the car in front of my house. He looks over at me hesitantly.
"Do you want me to go in with you?"
I smirk. "Somehow, I don't think that's going to help."
He sighs. "I just thought. . ."
"I know. It's alright, I just think I should talk to them alone."
"Are you going to tell them?"
I look over at him in amazement. "What? Tell them? You're not serious!"
"Why not?"
"My dad just threw me out for assuming I'm gay. I'm not about to admit it to him. I'd like somewhere to sleep at night."
Roger smiles gently. "You can come sleep with me."
I roll my eyes. "What, are you going to adopt me? I can't just move in with you."
"So you're not going to say anything?"
"No, and I don't you should either."
"Why not?"
"Because, Roger," I say, exasperated. "I can't deal with that! I don't want the stigma of being 'gay'."
"Stigma? What does that mean?"
I open the door. "Nevermind, just, nevermind." I slam the door behind me.
"I'll see you tomorrow." He calls out the open window. I turn to watch him drive away, wishing he had stayed, just in case this doesn't go well.
I knock on the door, feeling strange about having to knock at my own house, but I don't have a key. Cindy opens it.
"Oh, look who's home." She lowers her voice. "Queer."
"Fuck off, Cindy, let me in."
She leans back against the door, leaving a small path for me to get by her. "Daddy's in the living room with mom. There're talking about you."
"Great." I sigh. Pushing past Cindy I walk through the front room and toward the hallway leading to the living room. Cindy hurries past me. I try to grab her arm to stop her, but she's too quick.
"Daddy! Mark's home! His little boyfriend dropped him off!" She giggles when I try to punch her and pushes me into the living room.
My parents are sitting together on a couch, when my dad sees me he stands up. I close my eyes and shrink away, expecting him to yell or hit me. What he does both surprises and scares me.
He wraps his arms around my body and pulls me into a brief and awkward hug. I open my eyes, unbelieving, and look up at him when he pulls away.
"Are you ok?" He asks me.
I swallow and nod, still wary of the way he's acting. I see Cindy in the doorway and can tell she's just as shocked as I am. Obviously she was expecting the same kind of embarrassing lecture as I was.
"Did he hurt you? What did he do to you?"
I pull away from my father. "Nothing! Roger's not like that, he's just my friend."
My father narrows his eyes at me. "Don't lie to protect him, Mark."
"Honestly," I lie. "We're not like that. You imagined the whole thing."
He sighs. "Mark, it's ok. We want to help you."
I sit down on an armchair. "You just don't understand."
"What don't I understand? I'm trying to save my only son from being corrupted and I get 'I don't understand' from you?"
"He's my friend, my only friend. Why would you assume that. . ."
"I knew it about that kid, I knew it the first time I saw him. Cocky little bastard, I knew he would be bad for you." He turns to glare at my mother. "And you let him go with him! You encouraged it!" He gestures over at me "You want him to be that way or what? What's he supposed to think?"
"I thought it was nice for Mark to have someone other than Maureen as a friend. A boy, someone he could relate to."
"Or skip school to make out with." I feel my face react in shock and I bite my lip and look away. My father lays a hand on my arm.
"I'm sorry for the things I've said, Mark. I just want you to be normal. I thought that if you saw what it would be like that way you'd come to your senses. I want you to be happy."
I look up into his eyes and I can see that he honestly believes what he's saying, that he's sincere. I've never hated him more in my life. I stand up angrily.
"I'm not gay! And what if I was? You say you want me to be happy, but you want me to do what would make you happy, not me! Do you really care at all?"
He pushes me then. "Shut up!" I fall backwards and hit my sore arm on the table. I cry out in pain and grab at it. I hear my mother gasp and even Cindy's slight intake of breath. I glare up at him.
He kneels beside me and holds out a hand. "I didn't mean to. . ."
I brush it away. "Yeah, you never mean to. Why can't you just go back to ignoring me? I think I liked that better."
There's actually hurt in his face. Anger mostly, but hurt as well. My mother stands up and comes to my side.
"I think you should leave him alone for now." She says to him, her voice calm, even.
He looks over at her, and I expect him to lash out, but instead he nods and stands up. He looks back at me one more time and I continue to glare. He gestures to Cindy and she reluctantly leaves with him.
My mother helps me sit up and I lean against the chair.
"Your father means well." She smiles sadly. "Unfortunately you're thinking on two different levels."
"I hate him."
She shakes her head. "No you don't. You just don't understand him, and he doesn't understand you."
"I'm not gay, why can't he understand that?"
She shrugs. "Well, if that's what you say." She lowers her voice. "You don't have to lie to me, Mark."
I stare at her in disbelief. I'm tempted to tell her that I've spent the weekend sitting on Roger's bed with him, kissing and touching and talking and that it's been the best couple days in my life since we've been together, but I hold back. Out of fear maybe, though fear of what I don't know.
"I'm not. Can you make him believe that?"
She shakes her head sadly. "He'll believe what he wants to believe. I won't be able to change it."
"Will he get mad, if I hang out with Roger?" I ask her hesitantly.
"Not mad, I don't think. I think he's past that. He's concerned now. He loves you, Mark. No matter what you think."
"But can I. . ."
"Yes. You can." She sighs. "Just don't advertise it."
I look in my mother's eyes when she gives me a small, sad smile. I've always felt pretty comfortable with her, it's not quite the relationship Roger has with his mom, but it's something. I think somehow she knows, no matter what I tell her and I've never loved her more than I do now. She touches the side of my face and kisses my forehead.
"It'll be ok. In the end, it'll all be ok."
+++
Notes Continued: More coming soon, though I'm not sure how soon. I have a pretty busy week, but I'll try to keep my updates regular. Hope you've all enjoyed so far, thank you for reading/reviewing!