CHAKOTAY:

"Commander, wait!" a voice called out as I entered the docking bay.

I turned to see Dr. Jackson racing towards me. "I'm coming with you." He said firmly, if a little breathlessly.

I nodded after a moment, seeing that nothing I could have said would stop him from coming. I turned and walked quickly towards the Delta Flyer. "Ensign Madison, get us out of here." I said as I slid into the co-pilot's chair, Dr. Jackson right behind me.

"Aye, aye, sir." She answered, her fingers flying over the controls.

Soon the Flyer was speeding through space, heading for the green and grey planet in the distance. Every meter we flew, the hope in my heart grew stronger and stronger. She had to be alive. She had to! The atmosphere in the cabin got tenser and tenser the closer we came to the planet, and I had to stop myself fidgeting. In an effort to calm myself, I looked out at the winking stars. They looked just the same as they always had, none of the pain and anguish that we all felt having affected them. Then I wondered if Kathryn could see those strange stars. Was she looking up at them?

"We're entering the atmosphere now." Madison said, breaking the silence.

"Good." I said. "Prepare to run full range scans, targeting the major continents first."

"Aye, Commander." She said, as my fingers joined hers at the controls.

I readied the scanners and, once we'd gotten close enough to the surface, initiated them. Daniel shifted restlessly behind me. "How long will this take?" he asked.

"I'm not sure." I replied. "It depends how far we can scan."

He fell silence once more, and I turned my attention to the data coming in, searching for even the smallest sign of my Captain and missing crew mates.

* * *

JACK:

I was exhausted by the time true dark had fallen across the planet, but reasonably happy with what we had achieved. The defences would stand for now, but I still wanted to go over them again tomorrow. I sighed as everything I had been through over the past couple of days caught up with me. I would be grateful for a few minutes peace tonight to finally think about things.

"The defences now seem adequate." Seven said from beside me.

Over the past couple of hours I had gotten used to the way she talked, having worked by her side in fixing the defences. "They'll do." I agreed. "Although, as soon as it gets light, I want to look at the north wall again."

"I agree." Seven said. "It appears less stable than all the others."

We gradually walked towards the centre of the camp, where someone had built up a fire and sank gratefully onto the log beside it. Everyone else was already there, sitting around the fire. As I basked in the warmth, I realised how cold the air had become, despite the humidity. "Does it usually get cold at night?" I asked Juus beside me.

"Yes." He said. "But a fire is usually sufficient in keeping everyone warm.

I noticed that Wis and the other male trader were sitting beside the injured female and taking turns in feeding her. She was already looking better, and I saw Riley was also sitting close, keeping an eye on her. I turned to Janeway, who was on my other side. "How's the ship?" I asked.

"B'Elanna says she should be able to have the systems online in a couple of days, and Tom thinks he can get the systems online by late tomorrow." She answered.

"Sounds promising." I said. "Seven might also be able to help too, because I can handle the rest of the defences by myself."

Janeway nodded. "That would be good." She said. "Wis and Juus are also going to help, but hopefully another pair of hands will speed things up."

"I could probably come and help you with the wall, sir." Riley said, coming over. "Maris is looking better and she's eating again, so I should be alright to leave her for a while."

"I won't say no to help." I said.

At that point the food came and talk turned to more general matters, like the climate of the planet and the stories of the traders. I felt myself tuning out after a while, not really interested how much it rained here. I gave a sad smile. But then I never had had the fascination about how things worked like Carter had. She always did have an almost childish need to figure out what made things tick. It was one of the things I loved about her.

Janeway must have caught my expression, because she came to sit by me. "Are you alright?" she asked softly.

"Not really." I said. "But I think I will be in time."

She smiled. "I'm glad. You deserve some happiness in your life."

"I've had happiness." I said. "Six years – and they were probably the best years of my life."

Janeway looked at me curiously. "Colonel, there's something I have been puzzling about. I was hoping you could tell me, but if it's too personal, I understand." She said. "You said Major Carter was your 2IC. But weren't there some sort of military regulations against that sort of thing?"

"Yeah, there were." I said. "Officers under the same command weren't allowed to have a relationship – and having a relationship with your superior officer was doubly so. Not that it stopped anyone, really."

"So you broke the regulations?"

I smiled. "At first, yes we did. But then Sam did one of the most selfless things I'd ever seen her do. She gave up her military commission and rank that meant so much to her and became a civilian."

Janeway frowned. "I don't understand."

"She retired from the Air Force and became Dr. Samantha Carter."

"Oh." Janeway said. "I understand now. We don't have the same problem in Starfleet. I think it has something to do with the amount of time we spend away from home."

"Then why don't you do anything, Captain?" I asked softly, curious. "What's stopping you?"

"Call me Kathryn." She said absently, just before my meaning sunk in. "Do something?" she asked, her eyes widening.

I smiled at her pretended innocence. "About your First Officer."

"We're just friends." She said.

I took a long look at her. "He doesn't think like that, Kathryn." I told her, thinking it was about time someone forced her to accept the truth. "You're the only one trying to deny your feelings."

She turned to me, her eyes glittering in anger. "I'm not doing anything of the sort!" she snapped.

"I think you are." I said softly. "He loves you. I can see it in the way he looks at you – because I know exactly how he feels. I was in love with Sam for years, even though she never knew it at the time."

"He's a close friend." Kathryn said. "That's all."

"No." I said. "He's a man who loves you, and as a result, is willing to take all you can give him. If that means he can only be your friend, then he will keep being your friend forever."

"No..." Kathryn whispered.

I stood up to leave, recognising the anguished look on her face. But I had to tell her one last thing – something I knew from experience. "Just think about this, Kathryn." I told her quietly. "If he dies tomorrow, will it hurt any less than it would if you knew what it felt like to hold him in your arms and kiss him?"

I smiled sadly. "Trust me on this: it hurts just the same. The only difference is, that if you give in to your feelings and tell him, then if he does die, then at least you know what heaven feels like."

I left her then, because she needed time to sort out her own feelings and think about what I had told her. And I hope she did choose to follow her heart. Looking back on my time with Sam, short as it was, I knew I would never have traded it for anything. She died knowing that I loved her. My pain would have been ten times worse if I had never told her that.

I walked over to where Tom and B'Elanna were sitting. "How are the repairs coming?" I asked them, sitting down.

"Fine." B'Elanna said shortly.

I looked at her. And for the first time in a long time, I cared about what someone thoughts of me. "Why don't you like me?" I asked bluntly.

"You don't beat around the bush, do you?" Tom said.

I shrugged my soldiers. "I'm a soldier. I don't usually have time for long sentences and diplomatic words."

B'Elanna frowned. "And why do you think I don't like you?" she asked.

"Because you're always glaring in my direction and always seem to find something better to do every time I approach."

Tom sat back and watched us. There was a incredulous and slightly admiring expression on his face. I grinned for the first time in years. I had been right in guessing B'Elanna was a lady with a short temper. I just grinned wider when she exploded. "I don't know what you talking about!"

"I think you do." I said calmly.

Her eyes were glittering and her lips drew back in a snarl. "You want to know why I don't like you?" she snapped. "I don't like you because you burst into our lives wearing your pain like a badge! As if you were the only people in the Universe to feel pain! To lose people that you care about!"

She got up and began to pace. "Well the whole crew of Voyager have been through Hell! We've all lost our families! We can't even go home!" At that point she whirled and brought her face close to mine. "That whole crew feels pain everyday, yet they keep on going. I don't like you because you have just given up!"

I looked at her as she sat down, and nodded. I could feel everyone else in the camp staring at me. "You're right." I said. "I did wear my pain like a badge. I gave up, I admit it." I looked directly at her. "It took you and the rest of your crew to show me what real strength was. I only hope that one day I have you strength."

At my words, B'Elanna's eyes softened. "It's hard." She said. "And I'm sorry for yelling. I guess I can't blame you because that's what I did. And if could get through it, you will."

"Thanks." I said gratefully. "I hope I can."

In an effort to break the tension, Riley came over and sat beside me. "Just imagine what General Peterson would do if you did. He might just wet his pants."

I turned to her and raised my eyebrow. "Oh?"

She smiled. "Yeah." She said. "He'll probably think you've finally gone mad."