Sakura glanced at the clock in her room. 20 to 7…which meant they were already 10 minutes late. Pacing back and forth in her bedroom, she couldn't stop thinking about what was happening. Tomoyo had panicked like crazy, crying her heart out…and Eriol couldn't stop wheezing from out of breath. The whole apartment was chaotic. Syaoran was comforting Eriol in the living room and Sakura was with Tomoyo in her bedroom.
30 Minutes Earlier
"Tomoyo, what's gotten into you?" Sakura asked in confusion. "Are you okay?"
Tomoyo glanced at her with frightened eyes. "Oh my god, Sakura, you don't know how I'm feeling right now. I'm not okay! I'm not fine! I'm not all right!"
"Then what's wrong??"
"I-I don't know!!" Tomoyo replied, breathing in and out. "I just-I just…I'm not sure!"
"Ok, well what do you think happened??"
Tomoyo bit her bottom lip. "I'm scared to say…" She said softly, small tears leaking out of her amethyst eyes.
Sakura's eyes widened at the teardrops and hugged her friend almost immediately. "Honey…what is it?" She asked again quietly.
"Sakura…" Tomoyo held onto Sakura's arm tightly. "I-I…" Her shoulders shook as Sakura heard her sobs.
"It's ok Tom…" Sakura whispered in her ear.
Tomoyo let her cries lessen a little and then she pulled away, looking into her best friend's eyes. "I…I don't think I'm ready…"
"Ready for what?" Sakura asked.
"F-for…" Tomoyo hesitated. "I-I don't think I'm ready to marry Eriol."
Sakura's eyes widened, her heart skipped beats. Her breath clogged up her throat and her arms had stiffened. Her thoughts got jumbled, and she couldn't think straight. Tomoyo was crying once again, sobbing in her hands. Nothing seemed to make sense. Then suddenly there was a small jerk from the door. Sakura lost her train of thoughts and spun her head around to see who made the noise. And she faced Eriol's stricken face with Syaoran's worried one. 'Oh no…' She thought, broken-hearted for the two. Sakura turned back and saw Tomoyo's bloodshot eyes staring back at her in dread at the realization that her fiancé had heard.
--
"Oh my god." Eriol muttered as he settled himself on the couch and buried his face in his hands. "Why the hell is this happening now??" He moaned.
Syaoran still couldn't get that phrase out of his head.
"I never realized it…I always thought…" Eriol shook his head and buried his temples. "Goddamnit!! Why didn't I see the doubt in her eyes??"
"Maybe she just realized it now." Syaoran offered quietly, still stunned.
Eriol sighed and looked at his shoes. He gave a dry chuckle. "Nine months ago I would've said thank goodness that Tomoyo wants to break off the wedding…"
Syaoran remembered that talk they had about Eriol being not ready yet.
"And now…" He fell back and frowned at the ceiling. "Syaoran…I was ready to spend the rest of my life with Tomoyo…dammit, I am ready!!"
Syaoran crossed his arms in front of his chest and studied Eriol sadly. "I'm really sorry man."
"Yeah well…there's nothing we can do about it, right?"
"Give her some space. Maybe she's just gotta think."
"Probably." Eriol muttered and glanced lazily at Syaoran. "Lucky you didn't pop the question."
Syaoran gave a small smile. "At least you did."
"What?" He asked, confused.
"At least now you know how it feels…well knew how it felt…to be engaged…to just look forward to spending eternity with a woman." Syaoran sighed. "I'm sorry you're going through this now, buddy, but honestly I think you're lucky that at least you and Tomoyo were engaged for a while. Think of it as a blessing instead of a regret, man."
Eriol's downcast eyes softened. "You're right…it just sucks…to hear the person you love…the person you gave your heart to…just say she's not ready to stay with you forever…that she doesn't feel the same way you do…"
"Aw come on Eriol, I know you know that's not true. You guys are having a baby together! A baby! Of course she feels the same way you do! She's in love with you, man. That's pretty obvious! Just right now she's confused. That's all."
"Well, once she's not confused, our relationship will start falling apart."
"How do you figure?"
His anger came back at his friend's stupidity. "How the hell am I supposed to act around her knowing that she doesn't want to be my wife??" Eriol snapped.
"And how the hell do you know that she doesn't want to be your wife?" Syaoran argued back, pointing out the truth. "She does want to be your wife! Probably just not now!"
"Oh, yeah like you believe that!" Eriol glared. "After Syao's born, how the hell are we gonna be parents?! I'll keep thinking in the back of my head that this isn't how it's supposed to be!"
"Eriol, just calm down! Damn, man! You didn't even hear her side of the story!"
A minute passed by them. Then two. Then five.
"Friggin' shit." Eriol mocked him, showing a wry smile.
Syaoran gave a small laugh.
Eriol shrugged. "I know you're right Syaoran. I'm feeling crazy right now…and I don't like it."
"Yeah I know."
--
"Tomoyo…Tomoyo, it's ok…" Sakura whispered, stroking her back. "Shh…stop crying now…"
Tomoyo's body heaved with sobs. "I-I can't, S-Sakura! Eriol h-heard it!" Her words mixed with small gasps.
"I don't understand why that is bothering you. So he heard." Sakura murmured. "Isn't that what you wanted?"
"N-no!"
"Then what did you want to accomplish, Tomoyo, by telling me this?"
"F-for you to h-help me…p-put my feelings t-together!"
"Tomoyo I can't do that."
"Yes y-you can!" Tomoyo raised her eyes and looked into Sakura's eyes. "Y-you're my best f-friend, Sakura! Y-you know me better t-than anyone! E-even Eriol!"
Present
Syaoran sighed quietly and got up to get Eriol some water. He felt really bad for his best friend. Sure relationships weren't perfect, and sure he didn't expect Tomoyo and Eriol to get through this without fights, but it was such a shock knowing that one of them wasn't ready. How many days had they planned it? How many days?? Syaoran closed his eyes for one moment and then opened the fridge, taking the pitcher out. Tomoyo was always so excited, with that bright face on and her eyes sparkling, like Sakura. Now…right when the wedding rehearsal's supposed to happen, she backs out? It was so confusing.
He walked back to the living room where Eriol was and passed him the water. "Here. You look like you need it," he said.
"Thanks," murmured Eriol.
Silence passed within minutes. Syaoran couldn't think of any more to say and Eriol just wanted to think it over. A few more minutes passed and then Eriol stood up. He put the half-empty glass on the coffee table. Syaoran stood up as well, a little confused by his friend's actions.
"I'm gonna go for a walk." He said in a soft voice. "If…if Tom…no if anyone needs me, I'll be coming back in an hour or something."
Syaoran nodded helplessly. "You want me to go with you…?"
"No, no," Eriol interrupted in a tired voice, "I need to think about some…stuff."
"Yeah all right," Syaoran replied.
Eriol walked over to his friend and touched Syaoran's shoulder sadly. A frown creased his face. "Thanks for the support, man."
"No problem." Syaoran watched Eriol worriedly.
He nodded and walked out of the apartment. A mere click echoed the whole place.
--
Tomoyo glanced up from hearing the door shut. Sakura glanced at her friend. "What? What is it?"
She shook her head. "I-I think someone left," Tomoyo replied.
"Oh," said Sakura. "You want me to check if that was Eriol?"
"No." Tomoyo turned her head around and buried her face on a pillow. "Guess it's too late now, huh?"
"Too late for what?" Sakura followed Tomoyo on the bed.
"To apologize…to take back all the things I said…"
"Did you mean what you said, Tomoyo?" She asked carefully, lying beside her friend, staring up at the ceiling.
A weary sigh came out of Tomoyo's lips. "I don't know. I'm confused."
"You sound pretty tired, you know," Sakura noted, "maybe you just need some sleep. Then you can wake up without a weak mind," she suggested.
Tomoyo shook her head. "I can't sleep. Not now. Not when my relationship with Eriol is about to fall apart."
"Hold on," Sakura murmured and went out of the room.
A few seconds later, she came back and squatted in front of her friend. "Eriol left, so there's no reason for you to just sulk in here. Either you get some sleep or you look for him and talk this thing over."
Tomoyo stared straight into Sakura's eyes, her own trembling. "T-talk to Eriol?"
"Yes. Surely you didn't think you'd just leave it unsolved?" Sakura raised an eyebrow.
"B-but…he's going to be so mad…" Tomoyo's lips trembled as well. "Sakura, I-I can't, h-he'll hit me, and get mad at me, and-"
"Has he ever done that to you in the past?" She interrupted.
Tomoyo lowered her gaze. "N-no…"
"Then what has he done to convince you that he's going to do that?"
She kept silent.
"That's what I thought." Sakura whispered. "Look Tomoyo…do you still love Eriol?"
Tomoyo gasped and looked up again. "Of course I do! I'm never going to stop loving him, Sakura!"
"Then there's your answer," she smiled softly. "You still love each other. Your relationship's not over."
"A-are you sure?" Tomoyo asked worriedly.
"Why don't you go find out for yourself…and look for him?" Sakura suggested.
Tomoyo hesitated for a moment and then nodded. "Ok."
"Ok. Good luck, honey."
"Thanks 'Kura." Tomoyo murmured and got a jacket. She ran out of the apartment and looked for him.
--
Syaoran stood up again from his seat and knocked softly on Tomoyo's door. He was answered by an angelic voice. He lightly opened the door and glanced in at the love of his life. She was hunched forward, shoulders shaking, and painful sobs out of her mouth. He walked over to her immediately and turned her around so she rested her head on his shoulder. He held her closely and tightly, as if protecting her from the immorality in the world.
"I-I feel so bad for them, Syaoran!" She cried. "I can't imagine what Tomoyo's feeling right now!"
"I know…I know," he managed to reply. He had absolutely no idea what else to say at a time like this.
"Just hold me, Syaoran," her plead was quiet, yet so serious.
He pulled her closer, if that was even possible, and kissed her hair, rubbing her back with support.
"I love you, Syaoran. Don't forget that…"
"I love you too Sakura," he whispered in her ear.
She continued to cry.
--
Tomoyo's tears dried quickly and stuck to her pale cheeks. She was walking quickly, looking for him everywhere, but he was nowhere to be seen. He couldn't have gotten far! He left at least 10 minutes before she left as well. Tomoyo held her hand by her heart, clutching onto her handkerchief, knowing that if she would talk to Eriol, she would cry a waterfall. Her purple-coloured hair swung about in different places and stuck to her face, but she didn't care. All she was intent on doing was finding him.
Suddenly a flash of blue caught her eyes. His hair. His navy blue hair! Tomoyo praised inside and ran as quickly as possible over to him. "Eriol! Eriol!" Tomoyo cried.
He didn't look back.
A little more desperate and angry now, she yelled his name. "Eriol Hiiragizawa!!!"
The blue-haired man turned around in surprise and narrowed his eyes at the body running at him full speed. "Tomoyo…?" He asked himself in surprise. 'The baby…' he thought in a flash of alarm.
"Eriol!!" She cried and flung herself at him, almost jumping into his arms.
He held onto her as she fell on him and hugged her tightly, carefully holding her, but she didn't care. She needed to hold him. To feel him in her arms again. He rested his cheek on the top of her head, closing his eyes, and enjoying the moment…possibly the last moment they would have together. Tomoyo kissed his throat softly and a gasp made its way out of his mouth. She still held onto him, not letting him go. Then his hands…his big hands, rested on her arm and carefully pushed her away from him.
"Tomoyo…" Eriol whispered.
"No Eriol…please let me hold you," she begged.
He shook his head, wrapping his hands around her cheeks. "We need to talk," he started and wiped away her tears.
Her lips were trembling, but she nodded anyway. "Ok."
Eriol knelt down. "Hi baby…" He smiled. He kissed the big bump on her stomach. "It's your daddy…"
Tomoyo was right. She was crying a waterfall of tears.
Standing up, he wiped them away again. "Come on," he hesitated to hold her hand, but grabbed it anyways. 'I love this woman and I won't let go of her that easily…if she wants to leave me, I'll let her …but I need an explanation first.'
--
The white snow fell from the bright white clouds up above, showering them with the most beautiful snowflakes.
"Let me explain," Tomoyo said, looking straight into Eriol's blue eyes.
He nodded. "Go ahead."
"Ok." She took a small breath. "When…I saw you in the shop…wearing that tuxedo, I-I-I don't know what happened. I-I think my mind just went crazy, because I started," she hesitated, "I started feeling weird, like I was doubting myself, and this whole marriage. I thought you looked so handsome…"
Eriol stared down at their intertwined hands, feeling the sudden lump in his throat grow bigger.
"And I couldn't believe that I was marrying you…this man who I always dreamed of…this man who's so out of reach. I felt my heart just close, a-and I doubted our engagement. I-I-I really did. I started freaking out and I couldn't-couldn't believe that this was happening to me! After we went home, I couldn't think at all. I just-I just needed to talk to someone about whatever I was feeling! S-so when Sakura and I went in the room, I burst out everything I was feeling. Then and there," Tomoyo explained thoroughly, "and I, believe me, I really didn't want you to know! I didn't mean for you to find out! I-I wanted to-to think it over and have Sakura help me out! Because I am in love with you, Eriol, and I will always love you, you know that! At that moment, I was just so confused, like my mind was overloaded with doubts and thoughts! And when I found out that you heard, it stressed me even more. I felt like I couldn't breathe!"
What was she saying then? That she didn't want to marry him?? That she's so confused she wants to break up?? He nodded, urging her to continue. Eriol didn't know what to think…or say.
"So when you left, Sakura talked to me. She helped me understand some things. I really needed to tell you what I was thinking, because I don't want our relationship to end because of what I said. I don't want us to not get married…I don't want us to…to not be a family. I love you so much, Eriol, and…I'm sorry," her bottom lip trembled. "I'm so sorry that I hurt you. That I made you feel so doubtful…I didn't mean to hurt you." She sobbed.
Eriol forgot all his jumbled thoughts. "No, no, you didn't do anything wrong, baby. You didn't, Tomoyo, you didn't. I'm ok, see?" He kissed her tears slowly. "Don't apologize…"
"Oh Eriol…" She fell into his arms and she sobbed into his jacket.
"Shh, it's ok…" His heart constricted immensely. 'I'm so confused,' he thought in pain.
She shook her head, crying. "I do want to marry you, Eriol! I am ready! I only said I wasn't ready because I didn't want to face the fact that I got my dream! All my life I never reached my dreams! I never held onto something so permanently and now that I am holding onto you, it was hard to understand. I want to live my life with you forever, Eriol! I want to be your wife…your one and only. I'm sorry I said I wasn't ready, because I am…"
His heavily pounding heart calmed slowly by her words. He felt unimaginable happiness when she said those things. Careful not to hurt the baby, he held her tightly in his arms, loving her…cherishing her. "I love you, Tom, I love you," he said over and over again.
Once she felt better, she looked up at him with utmost love and respect. "I love you Eriol."
"I love you too Tomoyo." He grinned warmly and captured her lips in his.
It was the greatest kiss the two had ever experienced. Eriol tasted her lips sensually, losing his mind and thoughts into the moment. Oh God…how long had it been since they kissed like that?? Tomoyo pushed herself further into it, kissing Eriol like it was the end of the world. Within moments, the kiss deepened. More desperate touches and feelings were poured into the kiss. Then when they needed to breathe, they broke apart. Eriol touched Tomoyo's cheek with his thumb tenderly.
"Give me back the ring," he whispered into her ear.
Her eyes widened. "What?" The ring? Why would he want it back? Tomoyo's heart quickened.
"Give me the ring," he repeated.
"Why??" Her eyes trembled. "I-I thought-"
"Just give it to me," he urged.
Looking down at the beautiful amethyst rock, her quavering fingers took the ring and handed it to him. "E-Eriol…"
"Thanks." He held the ring possessively.
"Eriol, no…" Before she could say anything, he pressed his forefinger on her soft lips.
"Tomoyo…" he started and dropped down on his knee.
Her already-widened eyes enlarged. 'Oh my gosh…' Her quivering hand covered her opened mouth.
"I love you with my whole heart. I cherish you with my entire being. I promise to care for you, to love you, forever…I realize now that we can get through anything together, because the love we share…is unlike anything both of us has ever experienced."
Her eyes smiled with joyfulness and she nodded expectantly.
"Honey," Eriol started, the corners of his mouth twitching.
"Yes?" She whispered.
"Will you do me the honour of being my wife?" He asked, looking into the depths of her eyes.
She burst into happy tears and hugged him tightly. "Of course I will!!"
His warm laughter surrounded the park. "Give me your hand," he said softly.
She sat back down and brought her left hand to him.
He slid it in her ring finger and kissed the rock lovingly. "You're mine, Daidouji."
"I'm yours, Hiiragizawa." She giggled and kissed him once again.
Eriol bent down on his knees again and touched the mound on Tomoyo's front. "Are you happy your mommy and daddy are getting married, Syaoran?" He asked softly.
Suddenly he felt a kick on the stomach. Tomoyo's eyes lit up and Eriol gasped in surprise. "He heard us, Tom!"
"He did, Eriol!!" Tomoyo laughed merrily.
Eriol laughed blissfully and wrapped his arms around his fiancée.