Title: Thirteen Hours
Author: Gail R. Delaney RmceWrtrhotmail.com
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Who else? Sam/Jack
Summary: In Slow Dances, Jack and Sam chose Honor and Duty over what they wanted. But now, the only important thing is each other.
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate, Jack, Sam, Teal'c ... none of them. I just have a muse that won't be quiet until I get this down 'on paper'. Then maybe she'll let me get back to my manuscript. I don't write these for money, just my own satisfaction
Genre: Romance/Drama
Timeline: IN Lost City I & II
Feedback: Absolutely!
Archives: At my site, http:outoftheroom.homestead.com, ff.net, here... Anywhere else, just ask. I'll probably say yes... just want to know where.
Notes: Poems are "Love" by Roy Croft and "Porphyria's Lover" by Robert Browning.
"How the hell did this happen?"
"It wasn't an accident, sir," Sam said, trying to hide the sheer frustration that had tied every muscle in her body into knots since Jack had put his head in that... thing.
"He did it deliberately—"Daniel began.
"—In order to access the knowledge of the Ancients." Teal'c finished.
"He... ah... we thought we'd never get another shot at it," Daniel clarified, crossing his arms over his body.
"We know from past experience that the Ancient's knowledge will essentially overwrite the Colonel's brain. We're hoping that during the transformation process he'll become aware of the information we're looking for."
"And then?" General Hammond asked.
And then? And then, if by some chance in hell, he comes out alive I'm going to kick his ass for doing this...
"And then it will overwhelm his nervous system and the Colonel will—"
"What?" came Jack's voice, accompanied by his footfalls on the metal stairs leading to the debriefing room. "Meet my Maker? Pay the Piper? Reach the Pearly Gates? Start pushing up daisies here and there?"
Jack reached the top of the stairs and walked towards them. Sam stared at him, fighting an urge to slap him for his blasé attitude that was nearly as strong as her urge to wrap her arms around him and hold on forever. He walked to them, and exchanged glances with the other members of SG-1, but didn't look at her.
"You should be in the infirmary," General Hammond said.
"Why? We all know exactly what's going to happen. In a few days I start speaking some strange language," he said with a wave of his hand. "A few days after that I start doing things beyond my control, and a few days after that it's good night, my someone, goodnight."
Sam clenched her jaw and looked down. She couldn't take this. Couldn't watch him just act like this was nothing... because there was someone to say good-bye to. Her, damn it. Seven years they had pushed aside what they wanted. The closest they had ever come had been just days before. Had it really been less than a week? Less than seven days since she slept in his arms, since they denied themselves the one thing they thought they could never have? Each other?
Now... it was all slipping away.
"So, with your permission, sir, I'd like to take the weekend. Get a few personal things together."
Sam swallowed the lump in her throat. "The last time, it did take a few days before we noticed any change in the Colonel's behavior."
"I'll be back Monday, ready to work." Jack said to General Hammond.
He wasn't looking at her, not even momentarily catching her eye. Why wouldn't he even glance in her direction? She wanted... needed... to look into those dark eyes, if even for a moment, and see if there was anything there. If he would silently tell her what she needed to know.
"Permission granted."
"Thank you, sir." He sniffed softly and glanced in Daniel and Teal'c's direction, yet not quite looking at them. Somewhere between them – past them. "Now, if you'll excuse me my favorite tv show is on in half an hour."
Still without meeting the eyes of anyone there, Jack turned and retreated down the stairs. Sam looked to Daniel and Teal'c, but no one knew what to say. General Hammond dipped his chin and sighed. After several moments of silence, he turned and went to his office.
With a nod of his head, Teal'c excused himself and walked down the stairs. Sam stood in her spot, arms crossed over her body, unsure where she should go or what she should do.
How could they just go about their business as if nothing was wrong? Waiting for the inevitable? Waiting for Jack to die?
Tears threatened to fall, burning her eyes, but she swallowed hard against them. She had let them overwhelm her earlier, in the locker room, but she refused to let them come now. It wouldn't happen. It couldn't happen.
Daniel's gentle hand on her arm was nearly her undoing.
"Sam," he said softly. "Look at me."
Sam closed her eyes, held them shut for two beats of her heart before she opened them again and looked to Daniel.
His mouth was set in a tight line, deep furrows across he brow. "Sam, we'll do it. We'll find a way."
"I know we will," she managed to say. "We have to."
"Will you be okay?"
"I'm fine," she said, probably too quickly.
He smiled – a 'you-can't-fool-me' grin. "If course you are. But it's okay not to be."
Sam shook her head. "No, it's not. Not until we find a way to..." The words choked her, sputtering at the end. "...to fix him."
He squeezed her arm, then rubbed it gently. "We will. I will do everything I can-"
"I know you will, Daniel."
Daniel nodded slowly, looking at her over the rim of his glasses. "Okay. I'm ... I'm gonna go." He started towards the stairs, but stopped half way, turning back to her. "I don't think he intended to be cruel. I think—"
"He's just the Colonel," Sam finished. Just Jack.
Daniel nodded again, pressing his lips together, then disappeared down the stairs. Sam drew in a long, shaky breath, tipping her head back with her eyes closed to keep the tears from falling.
Outside her open bedroom window, crickets filled the night air with their soft song, answered only by the peepers in the nearby lake. A gentle breeze stirred the leaves of the trees, wafting in to brush her skin, making gooseflesh. She lay on her side, staring out the window and the silver light the moon cast everything in. It was beautiful.
But blurred by her tears.
Sam sniffed and wiped her nose with the rumpled tissue in her hand. She couldn't keep her thoughts from Jack... from the man she loved... yet she had denied herself the revelation for so many years. When she first loved him, she figured she would never pinpoint – but it was a feeling that had intensified and grown over the years.
Again, her thoughts drifted to the weekend before. What started out as a dreaded two days at a friends wedding – explaining why there was no man in her life – turned into forty-eight of the most amazing hours she had ever spent with Jack. He hadn't been her CO, he had been Jack. His words and caresses ran through her memories.
"Do you think you need an excuse to kiss me?"
She stared at him, knowing she was probably wide-eyed. "Jack! We shouldn't be kissing at all! Excused or not!"
He set his finger against her lips and she stopped, unable to look away from him. His gaze shifted to her mouth briefly before he looked into her eyes again. She held her breath as he smoothed his fingertips across her cheek.
"It was time," he said simply.
Sam wrinkled her brow and tilted her head. "Time?"
Jack's lips turned up in a slight grin. "Come on, Carter. You're the brainiac, you haven't figured it out by now?"
She shook her head, slowly losing the ability to think as his fingers moved down her throat to caress her collarbone through the neckline of her sweater.
Jack's face lit up into his 'wow, I know something Carter doesn't know' expressions. She didn't mind, dizzy from his gentle touch.
"We've danced around this... thing that I refuse to name... for seven years. We both know it's here, right?"
Sam nodded, giving in to the urge to raise her arm and press her hand against his stomach. His abdominal muscles tensed beneath her touch, and a small sense of satisfaction moved through her. That she had the same effect on him that he had on her.
"The only reason I haven't gone completely insane is for moments like this."
She was beginning to understand, and realized he was right. They were able to keep themselves distant... apart... for most of the time. But sometimes, the need to let go... to give in to the need, even if just a little and just for a moment... was too much to deny. And that was when he would embrace her... or she would just touch his hand... and it was enough to know that they were still there for each other.
"It's getting harder," she said through a tight throat.
Jack nodded. "I know."
"Eventually, moments like this won't be enough—"
"—for either of us. I know."
Tears stung her eyes, and she blinked to try and keep them at bay. One escaped and she felt it run across her temple to her hair. Jack leaned down and kissed the damp spot, and Sam drew in a shuttered breath.
"Then we'll just have to make this weekend a good one. To get us through."
And it just might have been enough until she grew strong enough to take her life in her hands. To do whatever needed to be done to have Jack fully in her life. But that was before his death loomed over her like a dark shadow, waiting to draw her own life from her heart.
She had wanted so much to make love to him... and her cheeks burned hot when she remembered how she had nearly begged him to do it... but they both knew the consequences. The ramifications. Their honor and duty...
"Damn honor and duty to hell..." she said to the empty room.
Sam turned over, partially sitting up, to look at her bedside clock. 0213. She had been lying in this empty, cold bed for hours and sleep refused to come. Two nights in Denver, and she had become accustomed to spending the night in his arms. It had been hard all week to sleep. But tonight, she mourned for more than just his arms.
Her gaze fell on the phone beside the clock. Before she could talk herself out of it, or even offer up a mildly convincing argument, it was in her hand and she had pushed his number on speed dial.
After two rings, she nearly gave up. But before she could take the phone from her ear, the line clicked and she heard his voice.
"O'Neill."
Sam pressed her eyes closed. Her throat wouldn't work. Her lips wouldn't move. New tears rolled down her cheeks. Silence hung between them over the phone line, and her body shook with tension – from the inside out - as she tried to keep it all under control. Then he spoke again.
"Come to me, Sam."
She released the air that burned her lungs and reached out a trembling hand to hang up the phone. Sam dressed in the dark, not caring what she wore, and rushed from her empty, lifeless house to the only place she could call home.
Jack's arms.
His house was nearly in darkness when she pulled into his driveway, the only sound being her tires on the gravel. The moon bathed everything in silver, and made her think of Jack's hair. Silver Fox.
With hands still trembling, she dropped her keys in her purse and opened the car door. The breeze swept through, blowing her hair back from her face and cooling her legs beneath the hem of her skirt. She looked up at the night sky, the hundreds of stars with varying degrees of brightness, and the moon so big she thought she could reach out and touch it, and drew in a breath. The air smelled so much better at Jack's. They lived a handful of miles apart, yet she was closer to Colorado Springs and out here... here the air was crisp and dewy and pure.
She navigated in the darkness to the steps leading to his front door. Inside, the soft glow of a single light in the hall gave life to the shadows. Before she could lift her knuckles to rap on the wood, the door swung open and Jack stood before her.
Sam held her breath, looking at him. The moon played across his angled features, turning his hair a shimmering silver, and his eyes darker than she ever remembered seeing them. They stood for a moment, him staring at her the way she wished he had at the base – but knew in her heart he couldn't. Then he held out his hand, and she took it, her palm sliding across his warm skin as his fingers curled around hers.
It only took the slightest of tugs to draw her into the house, and as she stepped close enough for her shoulder to brush his arm, he reached around her to close the door behind her. Sam looked up, feeling like a child lost in a dream. As he released the knob, his hand came to rest on her back. Electricity bolted through her body as he touched her, moving up her spine to the back of her neck, cupping his hand against her cheek.
His eyes were almost black as he looked down at her, and as the silence enveloped him, she knew nothing needed to be said. It had all been said before... without words... without confessions... but the revelations were as real and as known between them than if they had been.
Jack's thumb stroked her lips, and she parted them, relishing in the contact. His other hand came up so he held her face gently between them. Sam wrapped her fingers around his wrists and held her breath.
When his lips touched hers, all weight rushed from her body – leaving her languid and warm and free. His mouth played across hers, gently, preciously, and his tongue slipped past her lips to claim her to her soul.
She swayed into him, relishing in the delicious heat that emanated from his body through his clothes. Jack made love to her with his mouth... slowly... carefully... and she thought she might simply die of pleasure.
And this was only the beginning...
Sam released his wrists to slip her hands beneath his sweatshirt, meeting the taught skin of his stomach. Jack sucked in a sharp breath, a soft groan vibrating against her lips.
She gasped as Jack broke the kiss and swept her up, his arms supporting her back and behind her knees. Sam pressed her face against the side of his neck, nipping and kissing the skin there, as he carried her through the dark house to his bedroom. She kicked off her sandals as they went, the soft clunk of each the only sound in the house.
This was what it always should have been...
Jack set one knee on the mattress and lowered her gently onto the bed. Reluctant to release her hold, Sam lowered her arms and pulled back to look into his face. A small smile, barely there but so real, gave life to his sculpted lips. He stood again, just for a moment before kneeling before her as she sat on the edge of the bed.
Sam touched his face, running her fingertips along his brow and down his cheek before learning the edge of his lips. Jack moved closer and she smiled as he shifted his body between her knees, his hands finding her hips.
She leaned in to kiss him once more and reached down his body to grasp the edge of his sweatshirt. He raised his arms as she pulled it over his head, revealing the toned and muscled body of a soldier. A body that any other man his age would envy. Hell, a body most men in their twenties would envy. His arms and pecs tightened beneath her touch as she ran her hands over his skin, delighting in the light dusting of hair across his chest.
Then Jack did the same, pushing down her arms the denim jacket she had grabbed as she bolted out the door. He tossed it to the floor, coming back immediately to pull her blouse over her head.
A momentary rush of uncertainty hit her... the moment of truth that every woman feared... whether she would be beautiful enough for the man she exposed her soul to. Would she be everything he wanted... could she be more?
She closed her eyes as the shirt came off, and kept them closed as she lowered her arms again, now bare from the waist up. Sam gasped as Jack's hot mouth pressed against her skin over her heart, which beat now at an uncontrollable rate. His hands moved over her skin, gently cupping and caressing her breasts, his thumbs teasing nipples that throbbed with the need to be touched.
"Jack..." she whispered, unable to hold back from speaking anymore. But her words were lost in his mouth as he kissed her again.
The kiss fueled the fire that his first touch had ignited, so far out of control she doubted it would ever be extinguished. His hands worked the waistband of her skirt as his mouth played havoc with her senses. With silent, gentle urging from him – Sam lifted herself up off the bed long enough for him to slip the skirt and her panties past her hips. His fingers blazed a trail down her thighs as he removed the garment. They joined her jacket and his shirt on the floor.
The room spun and she had to close her eyes as Jack drew one nipple into the searing heat of his mouth. She held his head in her hands, her fingers pressed into the short hair, a shudder moving through her body.
He kissed and nipped his way down her stomach to the apex of her thighs, and by then Sam could barely breathe. Each intake of air short and quick. Her body throbbed, pulsed for him... and as his mouth covered her... she could no sooner stop the groan that ripped from her throat than she could stop her own heart from beating. His tongue moved in slow strokes, driving her to oblivion.
Her first orgasm ricocheted through her body and she clung to his shoulders for solid ground... terra firma... to keep herself from shooting to the ceiling.
Jack straightened and covered her mouth again, the kiss deep and hungry and reflective of her own desire. He tasted sweet and hot. Sam blindly sought the button and zipper of his jeans, impatiently releasing them – seeking his body inside.
His erection filled her fist, and as she curled her fingers around the velvet steel if it, Jack's head fell back and a low sound rumbled through his chest. She pushed at his jeans, and Jack moved to his feet, letting her draw them down over his trim hips. He stood before her, long legged and tone, and Sam had never wanted anything so bad in her entire life.
Jack leaned into her as he set his hands on the mattress. She wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him to her for a kiss. He used one arm to wrap around her waist and ease her back onto the bed, his weight over her delicious – only making her hungrier for him.
He settled between her thighs, ever place his hot skin touched hers branded by the searing need they both felt. As he shifted his focus from her lips to her throat, Sam explored his back with her hands, sliding down to feel the firmness of his buttocks. She curled her nails into the flesh and he groaned against her skin, his hips rocking forward.
Sam thought about the morning in Denver, when she had felt his erection through the thin cotton of his pajama bottoms. It had aroused her then, but nothing would ever compare to the feeling of his hard penis against her thigh.
She clung to him, urging him silently to complete the act... to make them whole... to make them one. Jack rose over her, supporting his weight on his elbows, and his fingers brushed her face. Sam looked up at him, the moonlight playing over his features. He rocked his hips again and she almost closed her eyes.
"No..." he finally said, speaking for the first time. Now she knew it wasn't a dream. "Look at me, Sam."
So she did. She stared into his fathomless eyes, and gasped as he slid inside her.
Never in her life had she felt so complete as in that moment when Jack O'Neill buried himself in her.
Neither moved for several beats of her heart, and finally Jack's eyes slipped closed as he drew out again. Slowly, as if they had all the time in the world, Jack made love to her. Each rock of his hips, each flex of his backside beneath her hand, each caress of his fingers on her body, sent her closer and closer to a precipice she wasn't sure she would survive.
Everything inside her coiled and tightened, building... waiting... needing what only he could give her. His thrusts increased in tempo, depth and strength and she could no longer suppress the purr of pleasure each time he body came against hers.
"Samantha," he said against her throat as he thrust one last, forceful time.
Her world shattered, cold heat rushing out from their joining to overtake her body, and she arched against him – clinging for sanity. She felt herself clench and grip him in the most intense orgasm she had ever experienced, lasting until every ounce of strength was drained from her body.
Only then did she slump back onto the bed, wrapping her arms around Jack's sweat-glistened body as she cradled his head against her breast and ran her nails through his short hair. His fingers still played erotic patterns over her skin, sending sweet tingles through her body as muscled deep in her core still twitched and fluttered.
With little more than their names spoken between them, Sam had opened her life to a whole new possibility – and she vehemently refused to acknowledge – even in her own mind, that it could all be over soon.
No... tonight there was nothing but possibilities. Nothing but joy. Nothing but love. Nothing but Jack.
She woke just as the first fingers of light replaced the soft glow of the moon, exchanging silver shimmers for orange glow. Sam lay on her side, facing Jack. His arm was her pillow, and as she opened her eyes, she took in the details of his face as he slept.
His expression was softer in sleep, relaxed... at peace. Jack drew slow, even breaths through his nose, his chest expanding against her. His other arm hung over her waist, a pleasant heaviness. Sam smiled, as in sleep one corner of his lips twitched into a momentary smile.
She loved his lips. Finely sculpted and perfectly male, it wasn't often she had seen him fully smile... the kind that dimples cheeks and shows teeth. But it was the small grins... the cocky smirks... that drove her wild. And the way he always parted his lips, and took a quick breath, before saying something profound and important.
Sam touched his lower lip, running her fingertip gently over the smooth skin. The arm around her tightened and he drew in a long, deep breath before his eyes opened and he looked at her. Jack kissed her fingertip and smiled... slow and sexy.
"Have I ever mentioned how much I love your lips?" Sam said, shifting closer to him so she could rub the side of his nose with her own, teasing him with no kiss.
His arms pulled her closer, aligning their naked bodies from chest to knee beneath the blankets.
"I think you may have. Just about a week ago... wait... a week ago tomorrow."
Just as it had the week before, his hand rubbed up and down her spine, eventually smoothing over her backside. Sam smiled and hummed.
"I'm getting a sense of déjà vu..."
Jack arched his eyebrows. "Yeah? Remember this?"
His fingers curled into the back of her thigh, and as he rolled onto his back, pulled her on top of him. Sam braced her hands on the mattress on either side of his head and willingly shifted so her legs straddled his hips. His awake erection tapped at her bottom.
"Hmmm... I don't remember it quite like this. There were more layers, I think."
Jack smiled wide enough to show just a little teeth as his hands worked magic up and down her sides, sliding forward to cup and hold her breasts. Sam shifted her body over him, teasing him, and he pressed his head back into the pillow with a sharp intake of breath.
"I do remember wanting to do this..." she said, leaning down to whisper close to his mouth before kissing him.
With their mouths together, Sam lifted her hips and slipped down onto his hard penis.
"Oh... God... Sam..."
She sat up, letting her weight press on his hips, driving him deeper. It was glorious... she was whole. Jack gripped her hips, curling his body up, and she laid her hands against his stomach to feel the tight muscles of his abdomen. With gentle yet urgent coaching, Jack guided her body, and each time she came down and he filled her again, Sam felt lighter... freer...
Jack moved his body beneath her, meeting each movement with an upward thrust of his hips. Their bodies worked together in unison, as if they had been doing this together their whole lives. His hand slid down her stomach, his thumb reaching between them to stroke her clitoris, and Sam moaned.
She gasped as Jack gripped her sides and used his long legs as leverage to flip them over, pressing her to the bed with one hard thrust.
"Oh... Jack!"
He was like a man driven, his hands braced against the headboard and his feet planted firmly against the footboard of the bed, it gave him power and strength and he drove harder. Sam wrapped her legs around him, planting her feet on the backs of his calves, and rode the fury. The bed creaked and slammed against the wall as his tempo increased, his depth and fervor intense.
Their lovemaking through the night had been tender and intense, but almost reverent. But this... this was need and hunger that overpowered everything else.
Her body shifted on the sheets each time he came into her, and she clung to his body – unwilling to break the rhythm. Everything coiled and pulled in, waiting... anticipating the moment of release. It came in a shower of cataclysmic chaos that ripped through her, pulling his name from her throat as he drove himself inside one last time.
Jack's body tensed and he pushed deeper, driving his soul into her body.
The words were on her lips... she wanted so desperately to whisper them as they both relaxed and fell into each other... but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Somehow, even after making love to him... telling him she loved him as he faced death just didn't seem right. Instead, she stroked his hair and kissed his temple and fought the hot tears in her eyes.
"Tell me something about you I don't know," Sam said, her cheek on Jack's chest over his heart. The soft, steady lub-dub soothed her.
His fingers traced up and down her spine as he sat semi-reclined against the headboard. He kissed her head and she closed her eyes.
"Something you don't already know... gee, that's a tough one. You know about my sparkling personality... my naughty sense of humor... my expansive diplomatic skills."
Sam chuckled, tracing what she realized was chevron symbols on his bare chest. He stroked her hair.
"You already know more about me than most. Except maybe Sara."
Sam shifted to lie partially across his chest, her hands folded beneath her chin so she could look into his face. He rubbed his hands up and down her arms. After seven years of avoiding even the most casual of contact, Sam enjoyed each moment... each caress... each sensation.
"Oh, come on. There must be something. Something that'll surprise me."
"Okay... I like poetry."
Sam widened her eyes, gaping at him. "Poetry?"
"Yeah, poetry."
"Okay. Quote me something."
He stared at her, his dark eyes intense, and reached up to brush some blonde hair from her forehead. His lips parted, and he drew a slow breath, and Sam's heart skipped. Jack's voice rumbled through his chest beneath her hands as he recited.
"And, last, she sat down by my side and called me. When no voice replied, she put my arm about her waist, and made her smooth white shoulder bare and all her yellow hair displaced, and, stooping, made my cheek lie there, and spread, o'er all, her yellow hair, murmuring how she loved me--she too weak, for all her heart's endeavor, to set its struggling passion free from pride, and vainer ties dissever, and give herself to me forever."
Sam covered her lips with her fingers, swallowing against the thick emotion in her throat. Finally, when she was able to rein it in, she lowered her hand to his chest again.
"Well, you did it, Jack. You surprised me."
He smiled wide, the grin reaching all the way to his eyes, and chuckled. One eyebrow arched high. "I gotta keep you on your toes."
Sam moved up his body to kiss him, speaking against his lips. "I'd rather you keep me on something else."
With a low growl in his throat, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. "Christ, Sam, you're killing me."
Her entire body tensed at his words, and she immediately tried to hide her involuntary reaction by shifting her weight. But it wasn't fast enough, wasn't subtle enough, because his features changed and she saw in the downturn of his mouth he knew what he had said... and knew what it did to her.
Sam tried to smile, tried to brush it off... for him... for her... to save the moment... the night. But it hit her too hard, too viciously, and the sob ripped from her soul before she could do anything to stop it.
Jack turned them so they were on their sides and pulled her against him, wrapping his arms tightly around her. Sam pressed her face into his chest and let the tears come as he stroked her head and kissed her hair.
"I'm sorry, Sam," he said in a husky whisper.
She couldn't speak, but just wrapped her arms around him and held on with every ounce of strength she had left. Slowly, the tears were depleted and it was only them again, in each other's arms. His rough cheek, still unshaven, brushed hers as he whispered close to her ear.
"Wanna hear another poem?"
Sam had to chuckle at the mischievous lilt in his voice. "As long as it doesn't have a line 'there once was a man from Nantucket..."
He laughed and, held so tightly in his arm, the reverberation moved through her body. For the moment, the tension released and they were 'them' again. Lovers. Friends. All she ever wanted, and more.
"Nope. No Nantucket lines." He still held her against him, but she shifted to rest her forehead against his collarbone and his lips hovered near her ear as he spoke. His words whispered over her like a caress. "It's a long one, but I want you to hear it, Sam."
She nodded, holding her breath. Jack drew in a long, deep breath and pressed a kiss to her cheek.
"I love you," he began. "Not for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you, not for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me."
She held her breath as he whispered in her ear, her heart expanding in her chest until she thought she would burst. His words filled her, amazed her, and touched her. Happy tears rolled from her eyes, wetting his chest, but neither moved to wipe it away and he continued to speak.
"I love you because you are helping me to make of the lumber of my life not a tavern, but a temple; out of the works of my every day not a reproach but a song. I love you because you have done more than any creed could have done to make me good, and more than any fate
could have done to make me happy.
"You have done it without a touch, without a word, without a sign. You have done it by being yourself. Perhaps that is what being a friend means, after all."
Sam pulled back to look into his face. His expression was soft, yet tense in the same instance. Faint lines marred the corners of his eyes, yet his smile held a depth and warmth that wiped away any sadness that smothered her heart.
"Make love to me, Jack."
His open mouth covered hers, and she circled her arms around his neck. Only in his arms, when he filled her and cherished her and pulled her into a world where the two of them alone existed, was there peace. Ever again.
"I can't get enough of you..."
Sam gasped, clinging to Jack's strong shoulders as he pressed her back against the front hall wall, his hands firmly grasping her ribcage to hold her high as he drove himself into her.
She looked down at him, meeting his hot stare as he once again claimed her, body and soul. Her legs locked around his torso, helping to support her weight and angle her body for the deepest possible contact.
A low purr rolled from her chest as once again, a deep orgasm rocked her body. Never in her life had she been with a man that so deeply satisfied her every time he touched her... every time... every single time.
"Jack..." she moaned deep in her throat. "Oh, God... Jack."
His face pressed into her arched throat as he came inside her. Her body shuddered, as she felt a similar tremble move through Jack. His hold on her sides loosened, but before he stepped away from the wall, he wrapped one arm behind her back and the other beneath her. Sam chuckled softly as he carried her towards the steps leading down to the living room.
"Jack, I can walk."
"I know," he said, his only explanation.
He fell back on the couch, bringing her with him so her knees pressed into the cushions and she sat in his lap, facing him. Hours ago, she gave up on trying to suppress the smile that had become an almost permanent fixture on her lips. Jack's strong hands ran up and down her thighs, shifting the material of her skirt, and she leaned in to brush his face with her fingertips, following the slight lines and creases that did nothing to detract from his handsomeness.
"What an amazing..." she glanced at the clock on the wall. "... thirteen hours. I don't think I've ever..." Heat rushed over her skin.
"You? Hell, I'm not a young man, Sam. If you asked me two days ago, I would have told you the last thirteen hours were physically impossible. Not with out some serious little blue pills."
Sam smiled and kissed him. "Stamina is definitely one of your strong suits."
Jack laughed, and Sam realized just how wonderful it was to hear. She could only recall a handful of times when Jack O'Neill had laughed out loud, and realized how much more it meant when it did. Almost like his smile... saved for the best of times. The most meaningful moments.
He moved his hands to her face, holding her captive as he drew from her mouth a soul-searing kiss. But Sam broke the kiss in a burst of laughter as both their stomachs simultaneously made known the fact that they hadn't eaten yet that day.
Reluctantly, Sam slipped from his lap and adjusted her skirt as he stood and did the same to his clothes.
"I'm not sure what I have. Didn't really think to stop at the store on the way home last night." His voice grew distant as he walked through the dining room to the kitchen. "Well, I stopped but I pretty much only bought Guinness."
"We can start with that. Maybe go for a late lunch in awhile?"
He returned and handed her an open bottle. "Sure. If you can keep your clothes on long enough."
Sam stared, open mouthed, and gasped. "Excuse me, Jack. If you recall, the whole ripping the clothes off thing went both ways."
He grinned, slow and sexy, and wagged his eyebrows at her as he held up the flimsy pair of cotton bikinis she had been wearing under her skirt when they came down the hall. She held her hand out for them, but with a tilt of his head, he said "Nope," and slipped them into his pocket.
"Jack!"
He scooted past her legs to sit on the couch. "They're my new good luck charm."
"Jack..."
"Drink your beer."
"Jack..."
"You're not getting them back, so stop asking. That's an order."
"Oh, you choose now to pull rank?"
"Force of habit."
Unfortunately, his simple three-word sentence forced Sam to – at least mentally – face the fact that things were not wonderful. Were not beautiful. This was not the first day of the rest of their lives together. It could be one of the last they spend with each other. And, even though the possibilities were bleak, it didn't change the fact that what they had done – for the last thirteen hours – was against a major Air Force regulation.
"Sam."
She stared down at her hands, at the cold bottle of beer.
"Sam, look at me."
Lover, or not... the authority of his voice made her look up and into his face.
"Don't go there. Not now."
Sam swallowed and did her best to smile. He reached across the space between them and took her hand, squeezing gently. She didn't break down, but silent tears rolled down her cheeks.
"Jack, it should have been me. I should have done it."
"What? Stuck your head in that thing? Are you nuts? Sam, you're one of the country's natural resources. If not a national treasure. And you are too important to me..."
"You shouldn't have made the decision to do it because of how you felt about me," she said, almost angrily.
"It couldn't have gone down any other way. I just hope it was worth it."
"Even if we find the Lost City... even if we get there and find exactly what we're looking for to defend the planet..."
His hand squeezed hers again. "That will be worth it, Sam."
She pressed her eyes closed, swallowing against the thick emotion that threatened to choke her.
"This day has made it all worth it."
His voice came to her in her own self-imposed darkness. She drew in a sharp breath as it shuddered through her body. When she opened her eyes, he watched her intently.
"Jack, I need to---"
The rapid knock on Jack's front door made her jump, and she heard Jack curse under his breath. They stared at each other, and in that brief moment – the exchange of glances between them expressed each of their unspoken dread.
It's over.
The door opened and Daniel's voice carried through the house. "Hello?"
Jack opened his mouth, pressed his lips together, then spoke. "In here."
Daniel's head came around the corner and looked at them. "Oh, sorry. Are we interrupting something?" he asked as Teal'c appeared behind him, a white box in his hands.
Sam forced herself not to look at Jack and swallowed. They both said simultaneously, "No."
"What are you doing here?" Jack asked.
"Oh, we... well it's... it's a funny story, actually. We, we, uh, were driving by and we, uh... saw Sam's car in the driveway, and... and... uh..."
Jack touched her arm, and just the simple contact shot electricity through her. She looked to him, seeing through the forced smile on his lips.
"Funny..." he said.
She smiled.
"Teal'c said to me... well, he didn't actually say anything. He just kinda looked at me and did that eyebrow raise thing that he kinda does and I said to him... I said 'hey, why don't we stop by and...'."
"Is that doughnuts?"
Teal'c held up the box. "Indeed."
"Excellent."
Daniel and Teal'c came down into the room, and Sam stood. "I'll be right back."
"Have a seat, guys. I'll see what I can find for you to drink," Jack said behind her.
Sam forced herself to walk to the kitchen, but as soon as she rounded the corner out of anyone's view, she leaned her hands into the counter's edge and bowed her head. Only her death grip on the granite, and the tight clench of her jaw kept her from losing all control.
Jack touched her back and she spun around into his embrace. He wrapped his arms around her and she circled his neck, holding on like there was no tomorrow.
For them, there wasn't.
His hand cupped the back of her head, smoothing her hair, and he held her so close it was hard to pull in a breath. Her heart hurt, her blood ran cold, and her mind begged to be numb to it all. Jack turned his face into the side of her throat, his lips hot against her skin, and released a long breath. Sam pressed her eyes closed, her heart shattering into thousands of sharp, cutting pieces.
The lights dimmed in the cold, underground chamber beneath the surface of Antarctica. The soft hum that had buzzed in the air dimmed and stopped. Sam looked over her shoulder to see Jack's head roll to the side. She lowered her weapon and moved to the reclined chair.
"Sir," she said, leaning over him. Sam touched his face, turning his head. "Sir?" She pressed her fingers to his throat and spoke over his shoulder. "His pulse is erratic."
Her own pulse was erratic, her heart slamming against her ribs like a caged bird. Jack! Oh, God! Jack!
She leaned closer, searching for any sign that he was still 'in there' somewhere. That the man she loved hadn't been completely sucked out of the shell lying before her.
Sam stared at his face, breathing heavy from the fight. "Don't you dare leave us now. We won!" Don't you dare leave me! She touched his cheek. "Colonel!"
His eyes slipped open, just enough for her to see their rich, dark brown. His lips parted, but he said nothing – simply stared up at her.
He tried to speak, his jaw slowly working. Warm breath reached her as his lips tried to wrap around words.
"Please. Jack..."
She looked into his eyes, hoped to God that he could see her...know she was there. He tried to speak, and she held her breath.
"Dormata..." he whispered.
Sam shook her head and looked to Daniel. He pointed to the device Jack had gone to first when they came into the chamber.
"That thing," Daniel said.
Sam moved her hand from his face, pressing it briefly over his heart before she stepped back and the chair straightened. Then Teal'c was there, lifting Jack's limp body and carrying him to the machine. He placed Jack inside, and the interior flashed a dim light. Teal'c stepped back to stand with Sam and Daniel.
Frustration chewed at her, and she wanted to find some button – throw some switch – do something to bring him back.
"Now what?" she finally asked.
Jack stared out at them, his expression limp and tired. "Aveo," he said softly. "Amacus."
Sam looked to Daniel, as did Teal'c. Daniel's brow pulled together and he barely shook his head. "Good bye," he interpreted.
No! No! Not good-bye! Jack, no!
Then the machine hummed and his body was enveloped in clear ice. It shimmered and glazed over him, foggy at first, then clearing so they could see his face. Cold, still eyes stared out – right at her.
Sam released her pent-up breath. She shook her head. "We can't just leave him like this. I mean, there has to be a way to reverse the process. The answer has to be here somewhere!"
She saw the strain in Daniel's expression, and the tears in Teal'c eyes. God, how she wished she could cry out and slam her fists against the ice... scream at the Powers That Be to release him. Give him back!
Daniel shook his head, speaking through clenched teeth. "I don't think this is it, Sam."
"What do you mean?"
"The dome is too small. Like Teo'nas. It's obviously not a city, it's just an outpost of some kind."
The tears choked her, thickening her throat. "This isn't Atlantis?"
"I don't think so. No."
Sam looked again to Jack in his icy tomb.
"If this is not the Lost City," Teal'c began, looking from Daniel to Jack. "Then where is it?"
If Daniel answered, Sam didn't hear. No! No! He saved the damn PLANET! He deserved better! He deserved more!
She closed the space to the smooth ice barrier that separated them, looking into his face. His gaze was frozen on her, a snapshot of life. Dark brown eyes, unseeing, yet staring into her soul. Sam lifted her hand and touched the ice, wishing she could reach through and stroke his cheek. Touch his lips.
Tell him the one thing she hadn't said... no matter how much she felt it in her heart.
I love you, Jack.
Author: Gail R. Delaney RmceWrtrhotmail.com
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Who else? Sam/Jack
Summary: In Slow Dances, Jack and Sam chose Honor and Duty over what they wanted. But now, the only important thing is each other.
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate, Jack, Sam, Teal'c ... none of them. I just have a muse that won't be quiet until I get this down 'on paper'. Then maybe she'll let me get back to my manuscript. I don't write these for money, just my own satisfaction
Genre: Romance/Drama
Timeline: IN Lost City I & II
Feedback: Absolutely!
Archives: At my site, http:outoftheroom.homestead.com, ff.net, here... Anywhere else, just ask. I'll probably say yes... just want to know where.
Notes: Poems are "Love" by Roy Croft and "Porphyria's Lover" by Robert Browning.
"How the hell did this happen?"
"It wasn't an accident, sir," Sam said, trying to hide the sheer frustration that had tied every muscle in her body into knots since Jack had put his head in that... thing.
"He did it deliberately—"Daniel began.
"—In order to access the knowledge of the Ancients." Teal'c finished.
"He... ah... we thought we'd never get another shot at it," Daniel clarified, crossing his arms over his body.
"We know from past experience that the Ancient's knowledge will essentially overwrite the Colonel's brain. We're hoping that during the transformation process he'll become aware of the information we're looking for."
"And then?" General Hammond asked.
And then? And then, if by some chance in hell, he comes out alive I'm going to kick his ass for doing this...
"And then it will overwhelm his nervous system and the Colonel will—"
"What?" came Jack's voice, accompanied by his footfalls on the metal stairs leading to the debriefing room. "Meet my Maker? Pay the Piper? Reach the Pearly Gates? Start pushing up daisies here and there?"
Jack reached the top of the stairs and walked towards them. Sam stared at him, fighting an urge to slap him for his blasé attitude that was nearly as strong as her urge to wrap her arms around him and hold on forever. He walked to them, and exchanged glances with the other members of SG-1, but didn't look at her.
"You should be in the infirmary," General Hammond said.
"Why? We all know exactly what's going to happen. In a few days I start speaking some strange language," he said with a wave of his hand. "A few days after that I start doing things beyond my control, and a few days after that it's good night, my someone, goodnight."
Sam clenched her jaw and looked down. She couldn't take this. Couldn't watch him just act like this was nothing... because there was someone to say good-bye to. Her, damn it. Seven years they had pushed aside what they wanted. The closest they had ever come had been just days before. Had it really been less than a week? Less than seven days since she slept in his arms, since they denied themselves the one thing they thought they could never have? Each other?
Now... it was all slipping away.
"So, with your permission, sir, I'd like to take the weekend. Get a few personal things together."
Sam swallowed the lump in her throat. "The last time, it did take a few days before we noticed any change in the Colonel's behavior."
"I'll be back Monday, ready to work." Jack said to General Hammond.
He wasn't looking at her, not even momentarily catching her eye. Why wouldn't he even glance in her direction? She wanted... needed... to look into those dark eyes, if even for a moment, and see if there was anything there. If he would silently tell her what she needed to know.
"Permission granted."
"Thank you, sir." He sniffed softly and glanced in Daniel and Teal'c's direction, yet not quite looking at them. Somewhere between them – past them. "Now, if you'll excuse me my favorite tv show is on in half an hour."
Still without meeting the eyes of anyone there, Jack turned and retreated down the stairs. Sam looked to Daniel and Teal'c, but no one knew what to say. General Hammond dipped his chin and sighed. After several moments of silence, he turned and went to his office.
With a nod of his head, Teal'c excused himself and walked down the stairs. Sam stood in her spot, arms crossed over her body, unsure where she should go or what she should do.
How could they just go about their business as if nothing was wrong? Waiting for the inevitable? Waiting for Jack to die?
Tears threatened to fall, burning her eyes, but she swallowed hard against them. She had let them overwhelm her earlier, in the locker room, but she refused to let them come now. It wouldn't happen. It couldn't happen.
Daniel's gentle hand on her arm was nearly her undoing.
"Sam," he said softly. "Look at me."
Sam closed her eyes, held them shut for two beats of her heart before she opened them again and looked to Daniel.
His mouth was set in a tight line, deep furrows across he brow. "Sam, we'll do it. We'll find a way."
"I know we will," she managed to say. "We have to."
"Will you be okay?"
"I'm fine," she said, probably too quickly.
He smiled – a 'you-can't-fool-me' grin. "If course you are. But it's okay not to be."
Sam shook her head. "No, it's not. Not until we find a way to..." The words choked her, sputtering at the end. "...to fix him."
He squeezed her arm, then rubbed it gently. "We will. I will do everything I can-"
"I know you will, Daniel."
Daniel nodded slowly, looking at her over the rim of his glasses. "Okay. I'm ... I'm gonna go." He started towards the stairs, but stopped half way, turning back to her. "I don't think he intended to be cruel. I think—"
"He's just the Colonel," Sam finished. Just Jack.
Daniel nodded again, pressing his lips together, then disappeared down the stairs. Sam drew in a long, shaky breath, tipping her head back with her eyes closed to keep the tears from falling.
Outside her open bedroom window, crickets filled the night air with their soft song, answered only by the peepers in the nearby lake. A gentle breeze stirred the leaves of the trees, wafting in to brush her skin, making gooseflesh. She lay on her side, staring out the window and the silver light the moon cast everything in. It was beautiful.
But blurred by her tears.
Sam sniffed and wiped her nose with the rumpled tissue in her hand. She couldn't keep her thoughts from Jack... from the man she loved... yet she had denied herself the revelation for so many years. When she first loved him, she figured she would never pinpoint – but it was a feeling that had intensified and grown over the years.
Again, her thoughts drifted to the weekend before. What started out as a dreaded two days at a friends wedding – explaining why there was no man in her life – turned into forty-eight of the most amazing hours she had ever spent with Jack. He hadn't been her CO, he had been Jack. His words and caresses ran through her memories.
"Do you think you need an excuse to kiss me?"
She stared at him, knowing she was probably wide-eyed. "Jack! We shouldn't be kissing at all! Excused or not!"
He set his finger against her lips and she stopped, unable to look away from him. His gaze shifted to her mouth briefly before he looked into her eyes again. She held her breath as he smoothed his fingertips across her cheek.
"It was time," he said simply.
Sam wrinkled her brow and tilted her head. "Time?"
Jack's lips turned up in a slight grin. "Come on, Carter. You're the brainiac, you haven't figured it out by now?"
She shook her head, slowly losing the ability to think as his fingers moved down her throat to caress her collarbone through the neckline of her sweater.
Jack's face lit up into his 'wow, I know something Carter doesn't know' expressions. She didn't mind, dizzy from his gentle touch.
"We've danced around this... thing that I refuse to name... for seven years. We both know it's here, right?"
Sam nodded, giving in to the urge to raise her arm and press her hand against his stomach. His abdominal muscles tensed beneath her touch, and a small sense of satisfaction moved through her. That she had the same effect on him that he had on her.
"The only reason I haven't gone completely insane is for moments like this."
She was beginning to understand, and realized he was right. They were able to keep themselves distant... apart... for most of the time. But sometimes, the need to let go... to give in to the need, even if just a little and just for a moment... was too much to deny. And that was when he would embrace her... or she would just touch his hand... and it was enough to know that they were still there for each other.
"It's getting harder," she said through a tight throat.
Jack nodded. "I know."
"Eventually, moments like this won't be enough—"
"—for either of us. I know."
Tears stung her eyes, and she blinked to try and keep them at bay. One escaped and she felt it run across her temple to her hair. Jack leaned down and kissed the damp spot, and Sam drew in a shuttered breath.
"Then we'll just have to make this weekend a good one. To get us through."
And it just might have been enough until she grew strong enough to take her life in her hands. To do whatever needed to be done to have Jack fully in her life. But that was before his death loomed over her like a dark shadow, waiting to draw her own life from her heart.
She had wanted so much to make love to him... and her cheeks burned hot when she remembered how she had nearly begged him to do it... but they both knew the consequences. The ramifications. Their honor and duty...
"Damn honor and duty to hell..." she said to the empty room.
Sam turned over, partially sitting up, to look at her bedside clock. 0213. She had been lying in this empty, cold bed for hours and sleep refused to come. Two nights in Denver, and she had become accustomed to spending the night in his arms. It had been hard all week to sleep. But tonight, she mourned for more than just his arms.
Her gaze fell on the phone beside the clock. Before she could talk herself out of it, or even offer up a mildly convincing argument, it was in her hand and she had pushed his number on speed dial.
After two rings, she nearly gave up. But before she could take the phone from her ear, the line clicked and she heard his voice.
"O'Neill."
Sam pressed her eyes closed. Her throat wouldn't work. Her lips wouldn't move. New tears rolled down her cheeks. Silence hung between them over the phone line, and her body shook with tension – from the inside out - as she tried to keep it all under control. Then he spoke again.
"Come to me, Sam."
She released the air that burned her lungs and reached out a trembling hand to hang up the phone. Sam dressed in the dark, not caring what she wore, and rushed from her empty, lifeless house to the only place she could call home.
Jack's arms.
His house was nearly in darkness when she pulled into his driveway, the only sound being her tires on the gravel. The moon bathed everything in silver, and made her think of Jack's hair. Silver Fox.
With hands still trembling, she dropped her keys in her purse and opened the car door. The breeze swept through, blowing her hair back from her face and cooling her legs beneath the hem of her skirt. She looked up at the night sky, the hundreds of stars with varying degrees of brightness, and the moon so big she thought she could reach out and touch it, and drew in a breath. The air smelled so much better at Jack's. They lived a handful of miles apart, yet she was closer to Colorado Springs and out here... here the air was crisp and dewy and pure.
She navigated in the darkness to the steps leading to his front door. Inside, the soft glow of a single light in the hall gave life to the shadows. Before she could lift her knuckles to rap on the wood, the door swung open and Jack stood before her.
Sam held her breath, looking at him. The moon played across his angled features, turning his hair a shimmering silver, and his eyes darker than she ever remembered seeing them. They stood for a moment, him staring at her the way she wished he had at the base – but knew in her heart he couldn't. Then he held out his hand, and she took it, her palm sliding across his warm skin as his fingers curled around hers.
It only took the slightest of tugs to draw her into the house, and as she stepped close enough for her shoulder to brush his arm, he reached around her to close the door behind her. Sam looked up, feeling like a child lost in a dream. As he released the knob, his hand came to rest on her back. Electricity bolted through her body as he touched her, moving up her spine to the back of her neck, cupping his hand against her cheek.
His eyes were almost black as he looked down at her, and as the silence enveloped him, she knew nothing needed to be said. It had all been said before... without words... without confessions... but the revelations were as real and as known between them than if they had been.
Jack's thumb stroked her lips, and she parted them, relishing in the contact. His other hand came up so he held her face gently between them. Sam wrapped her fingers around his wrists and held her breath.
When his lips touched hers, all weight rushed from her body – leaving her languid and warm and free. His mouth played across hers, gently, preciously, and his tongue slipped past her lips to claim her to her soul.
She swayed into him, relishing in the delicious heat that emanated from his body through his clothes. Jack made love to her with his mouth... slowly... carefully... and she thought she might simply die of pleasure.
And this was only the beginning...
Sam released his wrists to slip her hands beneath his sweatshirt, meeting the taught skin of his stomach. Jack sucked in a sharp breath, a soft groan vibrating against her lips.
She gasped as Jack broke the kiss and swept her up, his arms supporting her back and behind her knees. Sam pressed her face against the side of his neck, nipping and kissing the skin there, as he carried her through the dark house to his bedroom. She kicked off her sandals as they went, the soft clunk of each the only sound in the house.
This was what it always should have been...
Jack set one knee on the mattress and lowered her gently onto the bed. Reluctant to release her hold, Sam lowered her arms and pulled back to look into his face. A small smile, barely there but so real, gave life to his sculpted lips. He stood again, just for a moment before kneeling before her as she sat on the edge of the bed.
Sam touched his face, running her fingertips along his brow and down his cheek before learning the edge of his lips. Jack moved closer and she smiled as he shifted his body between her knees, his hands finding her hips.
She leaned in to kiss him once more and reached down his body to grasp the edge of his sweatshirt. He raised his arms as she pulled it over his head, revealing the toned and muscled body of a soldier. A body that any other man his age would envy. Hell, a body most men in their twenties would envy. His arms and pecs tightened beneath her touch as she ran her hands over his skin, delighting in the light dusting of hair across his chest.
Then Jack did the same, pushing down her arms the denim jacket she had grabbed as she bolted out the door. He tossed it to the floor, coming back immediately to pull her blouse over her head.
A momentary rush of uncertainty hit her... the moment of truth that every woman feared... whether she would be beautiful enough for the man she exposed her soul to. Would she be everything he wanted... could she be more?
She closed her eyes as the shirt came off, and kept them closed as she lowered her arms again, now bare from the waist up. Sam gasped as Jack's hot mouth pressed against her skin over her heart, which beat now at an uncontrollable rate. His hands moved over her skin, gently cupping and caressing her breasts, his thumbs teasing nipples that throbbed with the need to be touched.
"Jack..." she whispered, unable to hold back from speaking anymore. But her words were lost in his mouth as he kissed her again.
The kiss fueled the fire that his first touch had ignited, so far out of control she doubted it would ever be extinguished. His hands worked the waistband of her skirt as his mouth played havoc with her senses. With silent, gentle urging from him – Sam lifted herself up off the bed long enough for him to slip the skirt and her panties past her hips. His fingers blazed a trail down her thighs as he removed the garment. They joined her jacket and his shirt on the floor.
The room spun and she had to close her eyes as Jack drew one nipple into the searing heat of his mouth. She held his head in her hands, her fingers pressed into the short hair, a shudder moving through her body.
He kissed and nipped his way down her stomach to the apex of her thighs, and by then Sam could barely breathe. Each intake of air short and quick. Her body throbbed, pulsed for him... and as his mouth covered her... she could no sooner stop the groan that ripped from her throat than she could stop her own heart from beating. His tongue moved in slow strokes, driving her to oblivion.
Her first orgasm ricocheted through her body and she clung to his shoulders for solid ground... terra firma... to keep herself from shooting to the ceiling.
Jack straightened and covered her mouth again, the kiss deep and hungry and reflective of her own desire. He tasted sweet and hot. Sam blindly sought the button and zipper of his jeans, impatiently releasing them – seeking his body inside.
His erection filled her fist, and as she curled her fingers around the velvet steel if it, Jack's head fell back and a low sound rumbled through his chest. She pushed at his jeans, and Jack moved to his feet, letting her draw them down over his trim hips. He stood before her, long legged and tone, and Sam had never wanted anything so bad in her entire life.
Jack leaned into her as he set his hands on the mattress. She wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him to her for a kiss. He used one arm to wrap around her waist and ease her back onto the bed, his weight over her delicious – only making her hungrier for him.
He settled between her thighs, ever place his hot skin touched hers branded by the searing need they both felt. As he shifted his focus from her lips to her throat, Sam explored his back with her hands, sliding down to feel the firmness of his buttocks. She curled her nails into the flesh and he groaned against her skin, his hips rocking forward.
Sam thought about the morning in Denver, when she had felt his erection through the thin cotton of his pajama bottoms. It had aroused her then, but nothing would ever compare to the feeling of his hard penis against her thigh.
She clung to him, urging him silently to complete the act... to make them whole... to make them one. Jack rose over her, supporting his weight on his elbows, and his fingers brushed her face. Sam looked up at him, the moonlight playing over his features. He rocked his hips again and she almost closed her eyes.
"No..." he finally said, speaking for the first time. Now she knew it wasn't a dream. "Look at me, Sam."
So she did. She stared into his fathomless eyes, and gasped as he slid inside her.
Never in her life had she felt so complete as in that moment when Jack O'Neill buried himself in her.
Neither moved for several beats of her heart, and finally Jack's eyes slipped closed as he drew out again. Slowly, as if they had all the time in the world, Jack made love to her. Each rock of his hips, each flex of his backside beneath her hand, each caress of his fingers on her body, sent her closer and closer to a precipice she wasn't sure she would survive.
Everything inside her coiled and tightened, building... waiting... needing what only he could give her. His thrusts increased in tempo, depth and strength and she could no longer suppress the purr of pleasure each time he body came against hers.
"Samantha," he said against her throat as he thrust one last, forceful time.
Her world shattered, cold heat rushing out from their joining to overtake her body, and she arched against him – clinging for sanity. She felt herself clench and grip him in the most intense orgasm she had ever experienced, lasting until every ounce of strength was drained from her body.
Only then did she slump back onto the bed, wrapping her arms around Jack's sweat-glistened body as she cradled his head against her breast and ran her nails through his short hair. His fingers still played erotic patterns over her skin, sending sweet tingles through her body as muscled deep in her core still twitched and fluttered.
With little more than their names spoken between them, Sam had opened her life to a whole new possibility – and she vehemently refused to acknowledge – even in her own mind, that it could all be over soon.
No... tonight there was nothing but possibilities. Nothing but joy. Nothing but love. Nothing but Jack.
She woke just as the first fingers of light replaced the soft glow of the moon, exchanging silver shimmers for orange glow. Sam lay on her side, facing Jack. His arm was her pillow, and as she opened her eyes, she took in the details of his face as he slept.
His expression was softer in sleep, relaxed... at peace. Jack drew slow, even breaths through his nose, his chest expanding against her. His other arm hung over her waist, a pleasant heaviness. Sam smiled, as in sleep one corner of his lips twitched into a momentary smile.
She loved his lips. Finely sculpted and perfectly male, it wasn't often she had seen him fully smile... the kind that dimples cheeks and shows teeth. But it was the small grins... the cocky smirks... that drove her wild. And the way he always parted his lips, and took a quick breath, before saying something profound and important.
Sam touched his lower lip, running her fingertip gently over the smooth skin. The arm around her tightened and he drew in a long, deep breath before his eyes opened and he looked at her. Jack kissed her fingertip and smiled... slow and sexy.
"Have I ever mentioned how much I love your lips?" Sam said, shifting closer to him so she could rub the side of his nose with her own, teasing him with no kiss.
His arms pulled her closer, aligning their naked bodies from chest to knee beneath the blankets.
"I think you may have. Just about a week ago... wait... a week ago tomorrow."
Just as it had the week before, his hand rubbed up and down her spine, eventually smoothing over her backside. Sam smiled and hummed.
"I'm getting a sense of déjà vu..."
Jack arched his eyebrows. "Yeah? Remember this?"
His fingers curled into the back of her thigh, and as he rolled onto his back, pulled her on top of him. Sam braced her hands on the mattress on either side of his head and willingly shifted so her legs straddled his hips. His awake erection tapped at her bottom.
"Hmmm... I don't remember it quite like this. There were more layers, I think."
Jack smiled wide enough to show just a little teeth as his hands worked magic up and down her sides, sliding forward to cup and hold her breasts. Sam shifted her body over him, teasing him, and he pressed his head back into the pillow with a sharp intake of breath.
"I do remember wanting to do this..." she said, leaning down to whisper close to his mouth before kissing him.
With their mouths together, Sam lifted her hips and slipped down onto his hard penis.
"Oh... God... Sam..."
She sat up, letting her weight press on his hips, driving him deeper. It was glorious... she was whole. Jack gripped her hips, curling his body up, and she laid her hands against his stomach to feel the tight muscles of his abdomen. With gentle yet urgent coaching, Jack guided her body, and each time she came down and he filled her again, Sam felt lighter... freer...
Jack moved his body beneath her, meeting each movement with an upward thrust of his hips. Their bodies worked together in unison, as if they had been doing this together their whole lives. His hand slid down her stomach, his thumb reaching between them to stroke her clitoris, and Sam moaned.
She gasped as Jack gripped her sides and used his long legs as leverage to flip them over, pressing her to the bed with one hard thrust.
"Oh... Jack!"
He was like a man driven, his hands braced against the headboard and his feet planted firmly against the footboard of the bed, it gave him power and strength and he drove harder. Sam wrapped her legs around him, planting her feet on the backs of his calves, and rode the fury. The bed creaked and slammed against the wall as his tempo increased, his depth and fervor intense.
Their lovemaking through the night had been tender and intense, but almost reverent. But this... this was need and hunger that overpowered everything else.
Her body shifted on the sheets each time he came into her, and she clung to his body – unwilling to break the rhythm. Everything coiled and pulled in, waiting... anticipating the moment of release. It came in a shower of cataclysmic chaos that ripped through her, pulling his name from her throat as he drove himself inside one last time.
Jack's body tensed and he pushed deeper, driving his soul into her body.
The words were on her lips... she wanted so desperately to whisper them as they both relaxed and fell into each other... but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Somehow, even after making love to him... telling him she loved him as he faced death just didn't seem right. Instead, she stroked his hair and kissed his temple and fought the hot tears in her eyes.
"Tell me something about you I don't know," Sam said, her cheek on Jack's chest over his heart. The soft, steady lub-dub soothed her.
His fingers traced up and down her spine as he sat semi-reclined against the headboard. He kissed her head and she closed her eyes.
"Something you don't already know... gee, that's a tough one. You know about my sparkling personality... my naughty sense of humor... my expansive diplomatic skills."
Sam chuckled, tracing what she realized was chevron symbols on his bare chest. He stroked her hair.
"You already know more about me than most. Except maybe Sara."
Sam shifted to lie partially across his chest, her hands folded beneath her chin so she could look into his face. He rubbed his hands up and down her arms. After seven years of avoiding even the most casual of contact, Sam enjoyed each moment... each caress... each sensation.
"Oh, come on. There must be something. Something that'll surprise me."
"Okay... I like poetry."
Sam widened her eyes, gaping at him. "Poetry?"
"Yeah, poetry."
"Okay. Quote me something."
He stared at her, his dark eyes intense, and reached up to brush some blonde hair from her forehead. His lips parted, and he drew a slow breath, and Sam's heart skipped. Jack's voice rumbled through his chest beneath her hands as he recited.
"And, last, she sat down by my side and called me. When no voice replied, she put my arm about her waist, and made her smooth white shoulder bare and all her yellow hair displaced, and, stooping, made my cheek lie there, and spread, o'er all, her yellow hair, murmuring how she loved me--she too weak, for all her heart's endeavor, to set its struggling passion free from pride, and vainer ties dissever, and give herself to me forever."
Sam covered her lips with her fingers, swallowing against the thick emotion in her throat. Finally, when she was able to rein it in, she lowered her hand to his chest again.
"Well, you did it, Jack. You surprised me."
He smiled wide, the grin reaching all the way to his eyes, and chuckled. One eyebrow arched high. "I gotta keep you on your toes."
Sam moved up his body to kiss him, speaking against his lips. "I'd rather you keep me on something else."
With a low growl in his throat, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. "Christ, Sam, you're killing me."
Her entire body tensed at his words, and she immediately tried to hide her involuntary reaction by shifting her weight. But it wasn't fast enough, wasn't subtle enough, because his features changed and she saw in the downturn of his mouth he knew what he had said... and knew what it did to her.
Sam tried to smile, tried to brush it off... for him... for her... to save the moment... the night. But it hit her too hard, too viciously, and the sob ripped from her soul before she could do anything to stop it.
Jack turned them so they were on their sides and pulled her against him, wrapping his arms tightly around her. Sam pressed her face into his chest and let the tears come as he stroked her head and kissed her hair.
"I'm sorry, Sam," he said in a husky whisper.
She couldn't speak, but just wrapped her arms around him and held on with every ounce of strength she had left. Slowly, the tears were depleted and it was only them again, in each other's arms. His rough cheek, still unshaven, brushed hers as he whispered close to her ear.
"Wanna hear another poem?"
Sam had to chuckle at the mischievous lilt in his voice. "As long as it doesn't have a line 'there once was a man from Nantucket..."
He laughed and, held so tightly in his arm, the reverberation moved through her body. For the moment, the tension released and they were 'them' again. Lovers. Friends. All she ever wanted, and more.
"Nope. No Nantucket lines." He still held her against him, but she shifted to rest her forehead against his collarbone and his lips hovered near her ear as he spoke. His words whispered over her like a caress. "It's a long one, but I want you to hear it, Sam."
She nodded, holding her breath. Jack drew in a long, deep breath and pressed a kiss to her cheek.
"I love you," he began. "Not for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you, not for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me."
She held her breath as he whispered in her ear, her heart expanding in her chest until she thought she would burst. His words filled her, amazed her, and touched her. Happy tears rolled from her eyes, wetting his chest, but neither moved to wipe it away and he continued to speak.
"I love you because you are helping me to make of the lumber of my life not a tavern, but a temple; out of the works of my every day not a reproach but a song. I love you because you have done more than any creed could have done to make me good, and more than any fate
could have done to make me happy.
"You have done it without a touch, without a word, without a sign. You have done it by being yourself. Perhaps that is what being a friend means, after all."
Sam pulled back to look into his face. His expression was soft, yet tense in the same instance. Faint lines marred the corners of his eyes, yet his smile held a depth and warmth that wiped away any sadness that smothered her heart.
"Make love to me, Jack."
His open mouth covered hers, and she circled her arms around his neck. Only in his arms, when he filled her and cherished her and pulled her into a world where the two of them alone existed, was there peace. Ever again.
"I can't get enough of you..."
Sam gasped, clinging to Jack's strong shoulders as he pressed her back against the front hall wall, his hands firmly grasping her ribcage to hold her high as he drove himself into her.
She looked down at him, meeting his hot stare as he once again claimed her, body and soul. Her legs locked around his torso, helping to support her weight and angle her body for the deepest possible contact.
A low purr rolled from her chest as once again, a deep orgasm rocked her body. Never in her life had she been with a man that so deeply satisfied her every time he touched her... every time... every single time.
"Jack..." she moaned deep in her throat. "Oh, God... Jack."
His face pressed into her arched throat as he came inside her. Her body shuddered, as she felt a similar tremble move through Jack. His hold on her sides loosened, but before he stepped away from the wall, he wrapped one arm behind her back and the other beneath her. Sam chuckled softly as he carried her towards the steps leading down to the living room.
"Jack, I can walk."
"I know," he said, his only explanation.
He fell back on the couch, bringing her with him so her knees pressed into the cushions and she sat in his lap, facing him. Hours ago, she gave up on trying to suppress the smile that had become an almost permanent fixture on her lips. Jack's strong hands ran up and down her thighs, shifting the material of her skirt, and she leaned in to brush his face with her fingertips, following the slight lines and creases that did nothing to detract from his handsomeness.
"What an amazing..." she glanced at the clock on the wall. "... thirteen hours. I don't think I've ever..." Heat rushed over her skin.
"You? Hell, I'm not a young man, Sam. If you asked me two days ago, I would have told you the last thirteen hours were physically impossible. Not with out some serious little blue pills."
Sam smiled and kissed him. "Stamina is definitely one of your strong suits."
Jack laughed, and Sam realized just how wonderful it was to hear. She could only recall a handful of times when Jack O'Neill had laughed out loud, and realized how much more it meant when it did. Almost like his smile... saved for the best of times. The most meaningful moments.
He moved his hands to her face, holding her captive as he drew from her mouth a soul-searing kiss. But Sam broke the kiss in a burst of laughter as both their stomachs simultaneously made known the fact that they hadn't eaten yet that day.
Reluctantly, Sam slipped from his lap and adjusted her skirt as he stood and did the same to his clothes.
"I'm not sure what I have. Didn't really think to stop at the store on the way home last night." His voice grew distant as he walked through the dining room to the kitchen. "Well, I stopped but I pretty much only bought Guinness."
"We can start with that. Maybe go for a late lunch in awhile?"
He returned and handed her an open bottle. "Sure. If you can keep your clothes on long enough."
Sam stared, open mouthed, and gasped. "Excuse me, Jack. If you recall, the whole ripping the clothes off thing went both ways."
He grinned, slow and sexy, and wagged his eyebrows at her as he held up the flimsy pair of cotton bikinis she had been wearing under her skirt when they came down the hall. She held her hand out for them, but with a tilt of his head, he said "Nope," and slipped them into his pocket.
"Jack!"
He scooted past her legs to sit on the couch. "They're my new good luck charm."
"Jack..."
"Drink your beer."
"Jack..."
"You're not getting them back, so stop asking. That's an order."
"Oh, you choose now to pull rank?"
"Force of habit."
Unfortunately, his simple three-word sentence forced Sam to – at least mentally – face the fact that things were not wonderful. Were not beautiful. This was not the first day of the rest of their lives together. It could be one of the last they spend with each other. And, even though the possibilities were bleak, it didn't change the fact that what they had done – for the last thirteen hours – was against a major Air Force regulation.
"Sam."
She stared down at her hands, at the cold bottle of beer.
"Sam, look at me."
Lover, or not... the authority of his voice made her look up and into his face.
"Don't go there. Not now."
Sam swallowed and did her best to smile. He reached across the space between them and took her hand, squeezing gently. She didn't break down, but silent tears rolled down her cheeks.
"Jack, it should have been me. I should have done it."
"What? Stuck your head in that thing? Are you nuts? Sam, you're one of the country's natural resources. If not a national treasure. And you are too important to me..."
"You shouldn't have made the decision to do it because of how you felt about me," she said, almost angrily.
"It couldn't have gone down any other way. I just hope it was worth it."
"Even if we find the Lost City... even if we get there and find exactly what we're looking for to defend the planet..."
His hand squeezed hers again. "That will be worth it, Sam."
She pressed her eyes closed, swallowing against the thick emotion that threatened to choke her.
"This day has made it all worth it."
His voice came to her in her own self-imposed darkness. She drew in a sharp breath as it shuddered through her body. When she opened her eyes, he watched her intently.
"Jack, I need to---"
The rapid knock on Jack's front door made her jump, and she heard Jack curse under his breath. They stared at each other, and in that brief moment – the exchange of glances between them expressed each of their unspoken dread.
It's over.
The door opened and Daniel's voice carried through the house. "Hello?"
Jack opened his mouth, pressed his lips together, then spoke. "In here."
Daniel's head came around the corner and looked at them. "Oh, sorry. Are we interrupting something?" he asked as Teal'c appeared behind him, a white box in his hands.
Sam forced herself not to look at Jack and swallowed. They both said simultaneously, "No."
"What are you doing here?" Jack asked.
"Oh, we... well it's... it's a funny story, actually. We, we, uh, were driving by and we, uh... saw Sam's car in the driveway, and... and... uh..."
Jack touched her arm, and just the simple contact shot electricity through her. She looked to him, seeing through the forced smile on his lips.
"Funny..." he said.
She smiled.
"Teal'c said to me... well, he didn't actually say anything. He just kinda looked at me and did that eyebrow raise thing that he kinda does and I said to him... I said 'hey, why don't we stop by and...'."
"Is that doughnuts?"
Teal'c held up the box. "Indeed."
"Excellent."
Daniel and Teal'c came down into the room, and Sam stood. "I'll be right back."
"Have a seat, guys. I'll see what I can find for you to drink," Jack said behind her.
Sam forced herself to walk to the kitchen, but as soon as she rounded the corner out of anyone's view, she leaned her hands into the counter's edge and bowed her head. Only her death grip on the granite, and the tight clench of her jaw kept her from losing all control.
Jack touched her back and she spun around into his embrace. He wrapped his arms around her and she circled his neck, holding on like there was no tomorrow.
For them, there wasn't.
His hand cupped the back of her head, smoothing her hair, and he held her so close it was hard to pull in a breath. Her heart hurt, her blood ran cold, and her mind begged to be numb to it all. Jack turned his face into the side of her throat, his lips hot against her skin, and released a long breath. Sam pressed her eyes closed, her heart shattering into thousands of sharp, cutting pieces.
The lights dimmed in the cold, underground chamber beneath the surface of Antarctica. The soft hum that had buzzed in the air dimmed and stopped. Sam looked over her shoulder to see Jack's head roll to the side. She lowered her weapon and moved to the reclined chair.
"Sir," she said, leaning over him. Sam touched his face, turning his head. "Sir?" She pressed her fingers to his throat and spoke over his shoulder. "His pulse is erratic."
Her own pulse was erratic, her heart slamming against her ribs like a caged bird. Jack! Oh, God! Jack!
She leaned closer, searching for any sign that he was still 'in there' somewhere. That the man she loved hadn't been completely sucked out of the shell lying before her.
Sam stared at his face, breathing heavy from the fight. "Don't you dare leave us now. We won!" Don't you dare leave me! She touched his cheek. "Colonel!"
His eyes slipped open, just enough for her to see their rich, dark brown. His lips parted, but he said nothing – simply stared up at her.
He tried to speak, his jaw slowly working. Warm breath reached her as his lips tried to wrap around words.
"Please. Jack..."
She looked into his eyes, hoped to God that he could see her...know she was there. He tried to speak, and she held her breath.
"Dormata..." he whispered.
Sam shook her head and looked to Daniel. He pointed to the device Jack had gone to first when they came into the chamber.
"That thing," Daniel said.
Sam moved her hand from his face, pressing it briefly over his heart before she stepped back and the chair straightened. Then Teal'c was there, lifting Jack's limp body and carrying him to the machine. He placed Jack inside, and the interior flashed a dim light. Teal'c stepped back to stand with Sam and Daniel.
Frustration chewed at her, and she wanted to find some button – throw some switch – do something to bring him back.
"Now what?" she finally asked.
Jack stared out at them, his expression limp and tired. "Aveo," he said softly. "Amacus."
Sam looked to Daniel, as did Teal'c. Daniel's brow pulled together and he barely shook his head. "Good bye," he interpreted.
No! No! Not good-bye! Jack, no!
Then the machine hummed and his body was enveloped in clear ice. It shimmered and glazed over him, foggy at first, then clearing so they could see his face. Cold, still eyes stared out – right at her.
Sam released her pent-up breath. She shook her head. "We can't just leave him like this. I mean, there has to be a way to reverse the process. The answer has to be here somewhere!"
She saw the strain in Daniel's expression, and the tears in Teal'c eyes. God, how she wished she could cry out and slam her fists against the ice... scream at the Powers That Be to release him. Give him back!
Daniel shook his head, speaking through clenched teeth. "I don't think this is it, Sam."
"What do you mean?"
"The dome is too small. Like Teo'nas. It's obviously not a city, it's just an outpost of some kind."
The tears choked her, thickening her throat. "This isn't Atlantis?"
"I don't think so. No."
Sam looked again to Jack in his icy tomb.
"If this is not the Lost City," Teal'c began, looking from Daniel to Jack. "Then where is it?"
If Daniel answered, Sam didn't hear. No! No! He saved the damn PLANET! He deserved better! He deserved more!
She closed the space to the smooth ice barrier that separated them, looking into his face. His gaze was frozen on her, a snapshot of life. Dark brown eyes, unseeing, yet staring into her soul. Sam lifted her hand and touched the ice, wishing she could reach through and stroke his cheek. Touch his lips.
Tell him the one thing she hadn't said... no matter how much she felt it in her heart.
I love you, Jack.