Disclaimers and summary on first chapter
Notes: Last chapter I wrote over break. You can really tell I wrote this on vacation. Assume the long weekend spoke of in this chapter is over thurs, fri, sat, sun and mon, with Marky returning on Monday. :P
Oh, and the stuff about Florida tap water is based on my personal experience. (fucking tap water) you'll understand when you read it.
Chapter 34 -Forget Everything-
+Mark's POV+
-a few weeks later-
Roger lies next to me on top of his car.
"So, family vacation, huh?" He asks me.
"It's just over the weekend."
"Yeah, the long weekend. Five days I'm not gonna see you."
"You'll live."
"What if I don't?" I look over to make sure he's kidding. He is, of course, his face split into his usual grin.
"I die, without you." He sings softly.
I nudge him. "I'm sure you'll be able to keep yourself occupied."
"So where're you going?" He asks me.
"Florida." I sigh.
"Florida." He sighs, then brightens significantly. "Are you gonna see Mickey?"
I smile despite myself. "I wish. We're visiting relatives."
Roger makes a face. "Ew, it's a real family vacation."
I laugh at his reaction.
"We should go on a road trip after senior year, I'll take you to see Mickey." He says. "He's a cool guy, you'll like him."
"After your senior year," I remind him. "I'm only a junior."
"Oh. Yeah." He says after some thought. "I forgot."
"It doesn't matter, we can still go." I tell him.
He looks over at me. "What are you going to tell your parents, you moved in with Maureen?"
I swallow. "Maybe I'd tell them the truth."
"That you're with me? Their innocent baby boy driving around the country alone with that damn queer? That'll go over well."
"It's not like that, Roger."
"That's the angle you're comfortable with I bet." He pulls something out of his pocket. It's a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He shakes one out and lights it, shoving the stuff away again.
"Roger. . ."
"What?" He asks harshly.
"You shouldn't smoke." I say quietly.
"Why? Does it not fit into your perfect Christian ideal life?"
"I'm Jewish."
"Whatever! Admit it, I'm not good enough for you! You're embarrassed of me!"
"Only when you do shit like this! Why do you get mad like this? I didn't do anything!"
He exhales and blows a large amount of smoke into the air. I cough when some floats over my way.
"Yeah, you don't do anything. And you don't seem to mind what your parents think about me."
I sit up and climb off the car.
"I don't want to leave mad at you."
"You might as well, you'll leave with me mad at you."
"Fine! Forget it! Forget everything! I'm so sick of you, Roger! I'm sick of you ripping into me for no reason and accusing me of not wanting to be with you. If you need drama like that that's your problem, not mine. Cause I don't!"
He sits up and looks down at me and I know he's sorry, but I turn around and start walking away.
"Mark! Mark, wait! Please?"
I ignore him.
+++
I shouldn't have left like that because a few days later, sitting on my grandma's couch drinking Florida tap water, which has a strange metallic and salty taste, I wish I had something good to look forward to when I went back. I can see my parents talking in hushed voices with my grandparents and pointing over at me. My sister is outside sunbathing. I turn the TV on and flip through the channels till I find a movie channel. The movie doesn't seem too promising, but it's something to do.
A minute or so later the adults file into the room, somber. I click the TV off and look up at them expectantly.
"Mark? Is there something you want to tell us?" My mother asks.
I shake my head and drink my water.
"About," My dad pauses. "What's his name?" My mom whispers something to him. "Roger?"
"No." I say defensively. Too much so. They stare at me suspiciously.
My father sighs. "Mark, we think we have a solution."
"To what?" I ask, cautiously.
"To make this boy leave you alone, to this whole 'gay' thing."
"I'm not gay!" I insist.
My mom cocks her head knowingly. I know she doesn't believe me.
"Well, I think you should live here." My father announces.
"What!" I stand up and drop my glass. "But if I'm here I'll never see. . ."
They all stare.
"Maureen!"
"Who's Maureen, dear?" My grandma asks.
"My girlfriend!" I yell, thinking quickly.
"Girlfriend?" Asks my grandfather.
My mother stares at me skeptically. "Since when?"
"A few months." I lie, praying they'll buy it.
I know my mom doesn't, but my dad smiles in relief.
"That's why you're always over there."
"Besides for homework." I agree.
"Well then." He says, grinning. "I'm glad you got whatever that was out of your system." He claps me on the shoulder and then starts talking to my grandparents, all of them looking generally happier.
My mom grabs my arm and pulls me into one of the spare bedrooms.
"Ow. What?"
"I want you to tell me the truth, Mark. I know you're not dating Maureen and I know you spend all those nights with Roger. What's going on?"
She's not angry with me at all, just worried and curious. I know I'm not going to be able to lie to her much longer.
"I won't tell your father. If you want him to think you're with Maureen I can understand, but I want to know the truth."
"I'm gay." I whisper.
"What?"
I look up at her. "I said I'm gay! Roger's my boyfriend, has been for months and I love him!" I clap my hand over my mouth and sit down on the bed.
She wraps her arms around me and kisses my cheek.
"Ok. It's not what I would have wanted for you, but ok."
She gets up and starts to open the door.
"Mom? I'm not staying here, am I?"
She smiles and shakes her head, then walks out. I follow her and get myself another strange tasting glass of Florida tap water.
+++ -Back in NY-
As soon as I'm home, at almost 10 Monday night, I walk over to Roger's house, hoping the fact that I told my mom about us would help me redeem myself. However, when I get there his mother tells me he's not home.
She shrugs. "He hasn't been home for nearly two days. You're welcome to come wait for a while, I could use the company anyway." She smiles warmly and I accept and follow her into the house.
"Tea, dear?" She asks. I nod and sit down at the table.
"Where is he?" I ask her.
"I don't know, like I said, he hasn't been home in almost two days. Not while I've been here anyway."
"Aren't you worried?"
She sighs. "Yes, but I'm used to it, he does it all the time." She turns and looks back at me for a moment. "I haven't seen you for awhile. You're getting along together, right?"
I shrug. "We sort of had a fight before I left on vacation this weekend."
She comes back to the table and hands me a mug.
"Roger can be a difficult person. Very sweet, but he's stubborn and always will be." She lays her hand over mine for a minute, then stands up and takes her coffee mug over to the sink.
"I have to go to work, you're welcome to stay as long as you want, wait for him or just sit. Don't lock the door if you leave though, I don't think he has a key."
She kisses my forehead and leaves through the front door.
I sit in the kitchen for a while and rinse out my mug when I'm done. I'm about to leave when a car pulls up outside the house. It's not Roger's. I open the door and see April and some guy I don't know pull Roger out of the backseat and lay him on the grass. April sees me and she hits the guy on the arm and they hurry back into the car as I start running toward Roger. I fall down next to him as the car pulls away, not putting it past April to have given him something bad or even have left him here dead. I hit his face gently, then harder when he doesn't respond.
"Roger?" I cry frantically. He moans and moves slightly. I stand up and hook my hands under his arms and attempt to pull him toward the house. He moves an inch or two before I drop him. He's too heavy for me to carry. I kneel next to him again.
"Roger?" I nudge him. "Baby?" I joke. Blinking profusely he opens his eyes slightly.
"Marky?" He laughs, but it's not his laugh, it's a high pitched giggle that sounds strange and foreign. "Marky? Guess what!"
"You're a complete jackass?" I ask him, relieved and angry.
He giggles again, his eyes strangely unfocused. "Guess what April gave me!"
"I don't think I want to know."
"Oh yes you do! Lots of pills, little pills full of fun! For the pain to go away, away. . ."
He giggles so much he starts coughing. His hands are shaking when I reach for them. By now I'm really worried, I don't like the sound of this. He squeezes my hands.
"Marky?" His mood shifts dramatically. "I think I'm gonna be sick."
"Shit." I help him roll over and he pukes in the grass. I rub his back gently even though it's making me gag to be near him. He's sweating now and shaking horribly. When I lay him back down I kiss his forehead and stroke his hair.
"Mark?"
That sounds more like Roger's voice. It's scared and small but it's definitely him.
"What?"
"I'm sorry."
I shake my head. "It's alright, Rog, it doesn't matter."
"I love you."
I kiss his head again. "I know."
He smiles slightly and closes his eyes. I nudge him and he opens them again.
"Don't do that, Rog, please. I'm gonna go call an ambulance ok? Please don't fall asleep while I'm gone."
"I try." He murmurs, closing his eyes. I hit him again. He still looks distracted and sick, but sheepish as well now.
"Sorry."
Hesitantly I stand up and run inside. I grab the phone and dial. Dealing with the stupid bitch on the phone is infuriating, especially because all I can tell her is his friend gave him some sort of pill, but I convince her to send an ambulance.
I hurry back out to Roger. As I'd expected, he'd fallen asleep.
"Rog? Roger, wake up."
He doesn't move when I shake him. He lies on his back, his mouth open, eyes closed, not moving. I hear the dim sound of an ambulance and I realize he has passed out.
+++
Notes continued: he's not gonna die, he has to be alive to make sweet, sweet love to Marky in later chapters. But, well, duh. He has to still be alive for the musical. This is where you'll see really the development of two conflicting drug related Rogers. The one where he's above all of that, and the other where he uses them to escape pain, usually Marky induced pain which is usually caused by Roger's own dumbness. But that's why we love Roger, because of his Roger dumbness. :P thanks for the reviews, thanks for reading!!
Notes: Last chapter I wrote over break. You can really tell I wrote this on vacation. Assume the long weekend spoke of in this chapter is over thurs, fri, sat, sun and mon, with Marky returning on Monday. :P
Oh, and the stuff about Florida tap water is based on my personal experience. (fucking tap water) you'll understand when you read it.
Chapter 34 -Forget Everything-
+Mark's POV+
-a few weeks later-
Roger lies next to me on top of his car.
"So, family vacation, huh?" He asks me.
"It's just over the weekend."
"Yeah, the long weekend. Five days I'm not gonna see you."
"You'll live."
"What if I don't?" I look over to make sure he's kidding. He is, of course, his face split into his usual grin.
"I die, without you." He sings softly.
I nudge him. "I'm sure you'll be able to keep yourself occupied."
"So where're you going?" He asks me.
"Florida." I sigh.
"Florida." He sighs, then brightens significantly. "Are you gonna see Mickey?"
I smile despite myself. "I wish. We're visiting relatives."
Roger makes a face. "Ew, it's a real family vacation."
I laugh at his reaction.
"We should go on a road trip after senior year, I'll take you to see Mickey." He says. "He's a cool guy, you'll like him."
"After your senior year," I remind him. "I'm only a junior."
"Oh. Yeah." He says after some thought. "I forgot."
"It doesn't matter, we can still go." I tell him.
He looks over at me. "What are you going to tell your parents, you moved in with Maureen?"
I swallow. "Maybe I'd tell them the truth."
"That you're with me? Their innocent baby boy driving around the country alone with that damn queer? That'll go over well."
"It's not like that, Roger."
"That's the angle you're comfortable with I bet." He pulls something out of his pocket. It's a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He shakes one out and lights it, shoving the stuff away again.
"Roger. . ."
"What?" He asks harshly.
"You shouldn't smoke." I say quietly.
"Why? Does it not fit into your perfect Christian ideal life?"
"I'm Jewish."
"Whatever! Admit it, I'm not good enough for you! You're embarrassed of me!"
"Only when you do shit like this! Why do you get mad like this? I didn't do anything!"
He exhales and blows a large amount of smoke into the air. I cough when some floats over my way.
"Yeah, you don't do anything. And you don't seem to mind what your parents think about me."
I sit up and climb off the car.
"I don't want to leave mad at you."
"You might as well, you'll leave with me mad at you."
"Fine! Forget it! Forget everything! I'm so sick of you, Roger! I'm sick of you ripping into me for no reason and accusing me of not wanting to be with you. If you need drama like that that's your problem, not mine. Cause I don't!"
He sits up and looks down at me and I know he's sorry, but I turn around and start walking away.
"Mark! Mark, wait! Please?"
I ignore him.
+++
I shouldn't have left like that because a few days later, sitting on my grandma's couch drinking Florida tap water, which has a strange metallic and salty taste, I wish I had something good to look forward to when I went back. I can see my parents talking in hushed voices with my grandparents and pointing over at me. My sister is outside sunbathing. I turn the TV on and flip through the channels till I find a movie channel. The movie doesn't seem too promising, but it's something to do.
A minute or so later the adults file into the room, somber. I click the TV off and look up at them expectantly.
"Mark? Is there something you want to tell us?" My mother asks.
I shake my head and drink my water.
"About," My dad pauses. "What's his name?" My mom whispers something to him. "Roger?"
"No." I say defensively. Too much so. They stare at me suspiciously.
My father sighs. "Mark, we think we have a solution."
"To what?" I ask, cautiously.
"To make this boy leave you alone, to this whole 'gay' thing."
"I'm not gay!" I insist.
My mom cocks her head knowingly. I know she doesn't believe me.
"Well, I think you should live here." My father announces.
"What!" I stand up and drop my glass. "But if I'm here I'll never see. . ."
They all stare.
"Maureen!"
"Who's Maureen, dear?" My grandma asks.
"My girlfriend!" I yell, thinking quickly.
"Girlfriend?" Asks my grandfather.
My mother stares at me skeptically. "Since when?"
"A few months." I lie, praying they'll buy it.
I know my mom doesn't, but my dad smiles in relief.
"That's why you're always over there."
"Besides for homework." I agree.
"Well then." He says, grinning. "I'm glad you got whatever that was out of your system." He claps me on the shoulder and then starts talking to my grandparents, all of them looking generally happier.
My mom grabs my arm and pulls me into one of the spare bedrooms.
"Ow. What?"
"I want you to tell me the truth, Mark. I know you're not dating Maureen and I know you spend all those nights with Roger. What's going on?"
She's not angry with me at all, just worried and curious. I know I'm not going to be able to lie to her much longer.
"I won't tell your father. If you want him to think you're with Maureen I can understand, but I want to know the truth."
"I'm gay." I whisper.
"What?"
I look up at her. "I said I'm gay! Roger's my boyfriend, has been for months and I love him!" I clap my hand over my mouth and sit down on the bed.
She wraps her arms around me and kisses my cheek.
"Ok. It's not what I would have wanted for you, but ok."
She gets up and starts to open the door.
"Mom? I'm not staying here, am I?"
She smiles and shakes her head, then walks out. I follow her and get myself another strange tasting glass of Florida tap water.
+++ -Back in NY-
As soon as I'm home, at almost 10 Monday night, I walk over to Roger's house, hoping the fact that I told my mom about us would help me redeem myself. However, when I get there his mother tells me he's not home.
She shrugs. "He hasn't been home for nearly two days. You're welcome to come wait for a while, I could use the company anyway." She smiles warmly and I accept and follow her into the house.
"Tea, dear?" She asks. I nod and sit down at the table.
"Where is he?" I ask her.
"I don't know, like I said, he hasn't been home in almost two days. Not while I've been here anyway."
"Aren't you worried?"
She sighs. "Yes, but I'm used to it, he does it all the time." She turns and looks back at me for a moment. "I haven't seen you for awhile. You're getting along together, right?"
I shrug. "We sort of had a fight before I left on vacation this weekend."
She comes back to the table and hands me a mug.
"Roger can be a difficult person. Very sweet, but he's stubborn and always will be." She lays her hand over mine for a minute, then stands up and takes her coffee mug over to the sink.
"I have to go to work, you're welcome to stay as long as you want, wait for him or just sit. Don't lock the door if you leave though, I don't think he has a key."
She kisses my forehead and leaves through the front door.
I sit in the kitchen for a while and rinse out my mug when I'm done. I'm about to leave when a car pulls up outside the house. It's not Roger's. I open the door and see April and some guy I don't know pull Roger out of the backseat and lay him on the grass. April sees me and she hits the guy on the arm and they hurry back into the car as I start running toward Roger. I fall down next to him as the car pulls away, not putting it past April to have given him something bad or even have left him here dead. I hit his face gently, then harder when he doesn't respond.
"Roger?" I cry frantically. He moans and moves slightly. I stand up and hook my hands under his arms and attempt to pull him toward the house. He moves an inch or two before I drop him. He's too heavy for me to carry. I kneel next to him again.
"Roger?" I nudge him. "Baby?" I joke. Blinking profusely he opens his eyes slightly.
"Marky?" He laughs, but it's not his laugh, it's a high pitched giggle that sounds strange and foreign. "Marky? Guess what!"
"You're a complete jackass?" I ask him, relieved and angry.
He giggles again, his eyes strangely unfocused. "Guess what April gave me!"
"I don't think I want to know."
"Oh yes you do! Lots of pills, little pills full of fun! For the pain to go away, away. . ."
He giggles so much he starts coughing. His hands are shaking when I reach for them. By now I'm really worried, I don't like the sound of this. He squeezes my hands.
"Marky?" His mood shifts dramatically. "I think I'm gonna be sick."
"Shit." I help him roll over and he pukes in the grass. I rub his back gently even though it's making me gag to be near him. He's sweating now and shaking horribly. When I lay him back down I kiss his forehead and stroke his hair.
"Mark?"
That sounds more like Roger's voice. It's scared and small but it's definitely him.
"What?"
"I'm sorry."
I shake my head. "It's alright, Rog, it doesn't matter."
"I love you."
I kiss his head again. "I know."
He smiles slightly and closes his eyes. I nudge him and he opens them again.
"Don't do that, Rog, please. I'm gonna go call an ambulance ok? Please don't fall asleep while I'm gone."
"I try." He murmurs, closing his eyes. I hit him again. He still looks distracted and sick, but sheepish as well now.
"Sorry."
Hesitantly I stand up and run inside. I grab the phone and dial. Dealing with the stupid bitch on the phone is infuriating, especially because all I can tell her is his friend gave him some sort of pill, but I convince her to send an ambulance.
I hurry back out to Roger. As I'd expected, he'd fallen asleep.
"Rog? Roger, wake up."
He doesn't move when I shake him. He lies on his back, his mouth open, eyes closed, not moving. I hear the dim sound of an ambulance and I realize he has passed out.
+++
Notes continued: he's not gonna die, he has to be alive to make sweet, sweet love to Marky in later chapters. But, well, duh. He has to still be alive for the musical. This is where you'll see really the development of two conflicting drug related Rogers. The one where he's above all of that, and the other where he uses them to escape pain, usually Marky induced pain which is usually caused by Roger's own dumbness. But that's why we love Roger, because of his Roger dumbness. :P thanks for the reviews, thanks for reading!!