TITLE: Best Kept Secrets.

AUTHOR: Cathie McMath.

EMAIL: penrithpanther03yahoo.com.au

RATING: I'm going to bump it up to PG-15. Just because I felt like it.

CONTENT: Slight swearing, and the usual violence one comes to expect in WWE fics. Also some sexual references abound.

SUMMARY: Lita falls in love with a guy her big brother can't stand, and another cunning diva is out to cause trouble.. Jeff/Lita pairing. Trish, Kurt, and more.

DISCLAIMER: Still not Vince McMahon. Still owning nothing. Still very, very jealous.

DISTRIBUTION: Just email me first and let me know if you want it.

FEEDBACK: Forever welcome. Especially when it's taken me this long to update betweem chapters. Please, let me know you're still here, reading, and that you still like it! Please!

............

As Lita stepped through the arena doors, entering for the RAW show, she had to remind herself to breathe. Adjusting the bag strap on her shoulder, she let out a deep breath as she began walking down one of the many corridors of the arena.

With each step she took, her heart pounded faster and faster in her chest. It had only been five days since that night at the hotel... and she couldn't control her nerves at the thought of being at the same arena as Jeff. The thought of running into him during the night caused her stomach to roll inside of her. But at the same time, she was actually looking forward to her match against Victoria. Lita hoped that it would give her some distraction from everything that was going on. Just let her forget about what happened the other night, about what she had to do to Jeff...

Lita shook her head quickly before she could start thinking about Jeff and what she had done to him that night. She had done enough of that the past few days, just replaying the night over and over in her head. She could think of nothing else. The image of Jeff's face as he walked into the hotel room burned under her eyelids even when she slept, and the sound of his choked sobs rang through her ears constantly.

The guilt and sorrow had consumed her, and she had spent all week alone. After Matt had left her hotel room that night, Lita had hidden herself away from any other human company. Flying home the next day, she locked herself in her house, not speaking to anyone at all. She hadn't spoken to Jeff, Matt, Dawn Marie... not even her brother. Kurt had called her cell phone a few times, wondering where and how she was, but Lita never answered. She couldn't talk to anyone.

She even debated whether or not to even come to RAW this week. At first, she'd decided that it would be easier for everyone involved if she simply stayed at home. And that was exactly what she was prepared to do. But then she had realised that the best thing - not necessarily the easiest, but the best thing - would be to get out of the house, attend RAW, and work her match. At least she would have something other to think about then, and something other to focus her attention on. If she had stayed in that house much longer, she would've gone insane.

If she hadn't already.

Lita turned a corner, spotting the divas dressing room up ahead. She tucked her hair behind her ears before pushing the door open and stepping inside. She entered with her head lowered, chewing on her bottom lip nervously. She looked up, glancing around her quickly, and was met with the regular friendly faces of all the other divas.

She smiled at Molly Holly as she walked past her, towards an empty locker. She noted that in an opposite corner of the room, Stacy Keibler and Torrie Wilson were chatting away happily, giggling highly every now and then. Lita placed her bag down beside the empty locker and began unpacking it, her eyes trained on her bag. She knew that none of the other girls even knew about her relationship with Jeff... so they couldn't possibly know about what had happened with Test... but she couldn't help but feel ashamed. She couldn't bring herself to look any of them in the eyes.

Not after what she had done.

So caught up in her thoughts, Lita didn't notice Dawn Marie creep up beside her until the brunette spoke up. "Hey Missy! Where the hell have you been all week? I've been trying to call you for days!"

Lita glanced at her friend quickly, and then resumed unpacking her bag. "Sorry Dawn. I've been, um, kind of busy all week."

Smirking, Dawn nodded. "Ah, that's what you call it, huh?" She sat down beside Lita, crossing her long legs. "I tried calling Jeff as well, because I figured that you'd probably be with him anyway. But surprise surprise, I couldn't get a hold of him either."

Curious at the mention of Jeff's name, Lita turned to the other diva. "You didn't talk to him?"

"No. Not at home, and he never answered his cell," Dawn looked over at the redhead with a sly glance and a knowing grin. "You two must have been very busy."

Her stomach back flipping at Dawn's insinuation, Lita looked down quickly. "Not quite," she whispered meekly. She almost didn't want to tell her about the break up... but she knew that Dawn would find out sooner or later. There was no use in avoiding it. She looked up, locking eyes with her friend. "Jeff and I broke up last week."

Dawn's eyes widened in shock. "What?" She quickly reached out to the diva, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Oh my God, Lita, are you alright? What happened?"

"It was awful. I felt..."

"What did that damn boy do? Oh Lita.. he's insane! Forget about him!" Dawn rubbed her shoulder comfortingly.

"No, Dawn," Lita stopped her. "Jeff didn't do anything to me. He didn't break up with me." A tense pause. "I broke up with him."

At this new information, Dawn paused. She frowned, obviously confused. She leaned in close to her friend. "Why?"

Lita shook her head. "It's a long story..."

"You loved him so much, though. I don't understand..." The brunette struggled to comprehend what she had been told.

No longer wanting to discuss it, Lita turned back to her bag, and resumed unpacking her ring attire. "I had no choice, Dawn," she swallowed hard. "And there's not much more I want to say about it right now."

Still confused, but understanding that maybe now was not the right time to talk, Dawn Marie nodded. "Sure, sure. We'll talk about it later, maybe. When you're ready, okay? But you know that if you ever need anyone to talk to, or lean on -"

"You're my number one gal Dawnie," Lita sent a soft, sincere smile to the brunette.

Dawn returned the smile, and patted Lita on the shoulder once more before leaving the redheaded diva to prepare for her upcoming match.

The redhead took in a deep breath, closing her eyes briefly for a moment. She knew that telling Dawn would be a hard thing to do, but she didn't even imagine how hard it would be for her to simply say the words out loud. She had broken up with Jeff. She had said it out loud, those words had come from her lips. It was real.

Stopping herself before she thought too much about it and made herself upset once again, Lita shook her head, clearing the thoughts away. She needed to focus on her match. That was all that she needed to think about. Not Jeff, not Trish Stratus... nothing. Just her, Victoria, and their match.

Focusing on that, Lita quickly got changed into her ring attire. Wriggling into her shorts and throwing on a sheer, black top over her bra, she ran her fingers through her hair quickly. Then she bent down, tying her boots tightly. Once she was done, she jogged up and down on the spot quickly, rolling her neck side to side.

Okay. She was focused. She was prepared. She was ready to fight, and ready to win.

Lita stepped towards the door of the locker room, running the strategy she had worked out through her head, quickly brushing up on last minute tactics. She rounded the corner, glanced up from her thoughts, and suddenly felt like an arrow had struck her heart.

Across the large arena room, stood Jeff Hardy. He was sitting on the floor, his back up against the wall, his eyes closed. Lita took in his appearance, her heart beating faster and faster as she watched him. His now faded purple hair hung limply in his face, his closed eyes only just visible under the curtain of hair. His jaw was covered in scratchy stubble, unshaved and ungroomed. Lita could see the weariness all over his face. He looked like the living dead.

She stopped, simply staring at him. How easy it would be to walk over there right now, make him open his eyes and tell him how much she still loved him. How easy it would be to fall into his arms, letting him know that she was forever his. It would all be so easy...

"Lita!"

Before she could take a step, Lita heard a voice call out her name. She closed her eyes briefly, cursing at the timing, then she turned to her left. Her eyes were soft as she gazed at the figure approaching her. "Hey Kurt."

The olympic gold medalist furrowed his brow as he approached his little sister. "And where have YOU been all week? I've been trying to call you for the past couple of days. At home, on your cell, I even called Mom cause I figured that maybe you went home for some reason. When she hadn't heard from you either, I began to worry!"

"I'm sorry Kurt... I was at my place, but I just didn't feel like answering many calls," Lita looked up at her brother meekly. "I'm sorry that I worried you."

"Why didn't you answer your calls?"

"I just.. had a few things to deal with. I didn't really want to talk to anyone, that's all," she sighed, knowing that Kurt had now gone into his 'protective' mode. "I promise that everything's okay. I'm not hurt, I'm not upset, I'm fine. I promise."

Kurt reached out, cupping Lita's cheek gently and studying her, his eyes narrowing. After a few seconds, he pulled his hand away, seemingly satisfied with his study. "As long as you're alright."

Lita sent a small smile to Kurt as she rolled her eyes. "You really should stop worrying about me so much. I am a big girl now, you know. Almost thirty and everything!"

Letting out a chuckle, Kurt smiled brightly. "Yes Li, I do know that. But I'm still your big brother. It's my job to worry about you. No matter how old you are. It's a fact of life. Deal with it."

The redheaded diva couldn't help but smile at her brother's words, ducking her head quickly. She always enjoyed the way her and Kurt teased each other and was glad for the times that they got to spend together like this - even if it was just for a few seconds in an arena hall. But this time, she found herself desperately wishing Kurt away. It was like she could feel Jeff. Like he was pulling at her from the corner of the room, pulling her eyes towards him.

She glanced quickly, and saw that he was still sitting up against the wall. Still with his eyes closed. Still looking terrible. Her heart jumped, and she let out a sad breath. She missed him so much...

"I better get back to my locker room," Kurt said, interrupting her thoughts. "I promised Steph that she could run a few storyline ideas by me before she presented them to Vince. She's a little nervous about how he'll react to her ideas."

Lita nodded as he walked away from her, inside wanting to tease him about the way his blue eyes lit up when he said Stephanie's name. But instead, she kept quiet. She'd have to plenty of time to tease her brother about his feelings for the McMahon. Right now, she needed to see Jeff.

Her eyes found his form once more, and she sucked in a deep breath. She wasn't sure what she was going to say to him, but she knew that she had to say something. She had to see those green eyes looking at her, had to hear that soft southern accent calling her name. It wasn't the smart thing to do, but she had to.

Her heart pounding wildly in her chest, Lita took a step towards the youngest Hardy brother. She tried to control her breathing as she stepped closer. She was still quite far away, but with each step she took she was growing nearer...

A flash of blonde hair caught her eye, and suddenly Lita paused as she watched Trish Stratus strut across the room. She stood, frozen in her place as she realised that Trish was making her way over to the corner of the room where Jeff sat. She couldn't think of anything to do except stand there, watching.

Lita's stomach dropped as she saw Trish approach Jeff. Bending down slightly, the petite blonde diva tapped the man on the shoulder. Jeff opened his eyes slowly, looking up at Trish.

Lita couldn't hear anything that was being said... she was too far away... but she moved to the side of the room, watching the exchange intently. She wasn't sure why she kept watching - it was more than likely only going to make her hurt even more - but she couldn't tear her eyes away.

Trish smiled sweetly down at Jeff as she spoke, innocently playing with her blonde locks. Lita took in the blonde's appearance, noting the tight jeans and low cut black top that she was wearing. She watched as Trish leant down even more, patting Jeff's arm and batting her eyelashes at him.

Starting to feel sick now, Lita quickly looked away, wondering whether or not she should simply walk away. She couldn't actually stand here and watch Trish seduce Jeff, could she? She couldn't just stand there and watch Jeff walk away with the blonde, knowing that it was because of Trish's schemes that it was happening. Despite her gut feeling, she turned back to the figures across the room, unable to look away for long.

Jeff was talking now, glancing at Trish, and then looking back down as he sat on the floor, unmoving. Trish said something else, smirking at him and chewing on her bottom lip coyly. Then Jeff looked back up at her, said something, and shook his head slowly. Suddenly, Trish straightened up, looking at Jeff with a hardness in her eyes. She spoke once more, and when Jeff shook his head again, she narrowed her eyes at him and whipped around, storming off.

Lita kept her gaze trained on Jeff, watching as he cast his eyes down to the floor in front of him, and raked a hand through his hair. Slowly, he leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes once more.

Letting out a breath that she hadn't realised she'd been keeping, the redhead closed her eyes briefly as she felt her heart pound loudly in her chest. Watching Jeff turn Trish away had caused her entire body to quiver with joy... and yet it caused her heart to ache. Matt was right. Jeff didn't hate her. He still loved her. After everything, everything she had put him through in the past week... he still loved her.

She didn't deserve that kind of love.

Lita began to feel her throat constrict, and a wave of sickness sweep over her. But before she could succumb to the tears, a backstage technician wearing a set of head phones tapped the redhead on the shoulder. "Lita? Sorry to disturb you, but your match is on in a few minutes... just after The Rock's promo."

Nodding mutely, Lita tore her gaze away from the Hardy and followed the worker to the curtain. She wiped at her eyes quickly. She had to get past this, and focus on her match. Now was not the time to fall to pieces.

Hearing The Rock's music blare through the speakers in the arena, and the roar of the crowd, Lita approached the stage entrance and took in a few breaths. She could worry about how bad she felt later on tonight, once she got back to the hotel. As for now - she had some diva ass to kick.

............

Trish Stratus stormed through the arena hallway, her hands clenched into tight fists by her side and her pretty face marred by a brutal frown. She let out a tiny growl as she thought about what Jeff Hardy had just said in reply to her, after she asked if he'd like her to keep him company tonight, and perhaps warm him up before his match.

"No thanks Trish. I've got alot of things to deal with at the moment."

And then when she pushed just a little more, thinking that maybe he was playing a little hard-to-get...

"I said no, Trish. You need to learn when to just walk away."

Walk away? She needed to learn when to WALK AWAY? Another growl escaped the blonde vixen's lips. After all of the work she had done to pry that redhead's claws away from him? Not fucking likely! She had worked hard to get Jeff Hardy alone so that she could have him for herself, and have him she would. Whatever it took.

And if charming him into her bed wouldn't work... well, then she'd have to resort to other means.

............

Pacing around his locker room, Kurt Angle ran a hand over his bald head and let out a quick breath. Steph would be here any minute now, and his stomach was in knots. Not that that was anything surprising - he always felt nervous as hell when he spent time with the youngest McMahon. And he wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing, either.

A knock at the door brought Kurt back to earth, and caused his heart to start beating slightly faster. The effect that woman STILL had on him was incredible... Breathing in deeply, he reached for the door knob and opened the door.

But instead of finding a smiling brunette looking up at him, Kurt was greeted with a very pissed off looking blonde. "Hey Trish. What can I do for you?"

Trish entered the room, inviting herself in. Calming herself down, she turned to the olympic gold medalist, her eyes narrow. "You know Kurt, it's funny how people sometimes feel they need to keep things from other people. I'm not sure why they feel they need to, but instead of coming out with the truth they just blatantly lie and deceive everyone. Even those closest to them."

As Trish rambled on, Kurt casually glanced out the door. No sign of Steph. Damn. He turned to Trish again, and looked at her expectantly. "I'm sorry, but if this isn't important, do you think you could come back later? I'm kind of expecting someone -"

"Oh trust me, Kurt. This is important," Trish said sharply with a sly smirk. "It's so important... your baby sister's safety is at stake."

Catching his attention with those words, Kurt suddenly focused completely on the woman standing in front of him. He stepped closer to her, his eyes widening in panic.

"What is it? Trish, tell me. What's happened to Lita?" His eyes darkened. "Those damn Hardy asses haven't done anything to her, have they?"

Trish smiled.