Disclaimer: McG and Josh Schwartz own the O.C., I just wish I did.
Summary: Seth sails away, wondering if anyone really cared about his life. What happens when he wishes to never have been born?
A/N: Thanks for the reviews again. I wanted to address a review written by Tyler Ginger, on my story Oh, the Drama. As most people know, this story has been finished for months. Tyler, if you're out there, I wanted to bring this to your attention. I'm not a sucky updater, at least not that lazy. It's finished. Glad you like the story but please continue reading my other ones, because I don't take that long to update. And don't tell people not to read my stories, please? Back to the story…Hope you guys like this chapter, I'll try to have the Sandy chapter up later this weekend.
Seth, what were you thinking?
There was that booming voice again. Seth looked all around, but as far as the eye could see, there was white. It hurt his head to look at the fresh, crisp white walls, ceiling, and floor.
"God?" Seth asked dubiously.
Seth, I'm right here.
"Where?"
Inside you, around you. I'm everywhere, Seth, can't you see?
"Yeah," Seth lied, but really he wasn't following God.
You're lying.
Seth remained silent. So God could read his mind too? He shook his head, of course God could. Weren't the angels only parts of him? It made sense…sort of.
"Just relax, Seth," Seth's angel said, but when Seth turned around, he/she/it was gone.
"I'm trying," Seth puffed, not sure whom he was speaking to.
Seth, you can't just do that. Do you know what sort of damage control I'm going to have to do now? Ryan felt, Seth, he felt. He knew there was something from…over here.
"I'm sorry," Seth hung his head, imagining God could somehow see his shame.
Sorry doesn't cut it, Seth.
"I'm really sorry, though," Seth repeated. "Please, just please don't make me go back. I'll go anywhere, but don't make me go back there."
This is what you wanted, Seth. Isn't it?
Seth ran his fingers through his unruly mop. God's words echoed dully in his head. At this point he wasn't sure whether God was speaking to him, through him, or what. All he knew was that he didn't want to see anymore. He'd seen enough.
"It's what I thought I wanted," Seth answered. "But I know now that I don't."
You know, I don't normally grant wishes like these.
"Well, thanks, but I think I've had enough."
When will you learn, Seth?
Another thunderous chuckle. Seth felt himself teetering, but he didn't fall.
Take him away. He's going to be stuck in his wish until he learns…
Seth opened his mouth to protest but realized that God was no longer talking to him, and most definitely had closed the conversation.
Seth rubbed his eyes, still stinging from the bright white atmosphere.
"Seth," the angel materialized before him. "Let's go."
"I don't want to."
Seth felt his arm being pulled harshly. "You don't have a choice."
The stairway appeared before them, and again Seth slowly descended it.
"Don't break the rules this time," the angel warned, as he snapped his fingers and the motorcycle popped up.
Seth nodded, not sure if he'd be able to control his emotions again. He looked around; they were in a nice, gated community with sprawling mansions.
"Are we…" Seth began to question, but the angel answered before he had a chance.
"We're in your neighborhood," the guardian angel said. "Actually, your old neighborhood," it amended.
Seth felt like crying. He'd wished for this…but somehow, it wasn't as good as he'd thought it would be. Ryan's life was going down the drain, and Seth didn't know how much worse off his parents would be.
"Let's go," the angel ordered, but Seth detected a hint of pity in his voice. What could be wrong with his parents, other than them having other children they loved and lived for?
They drove up the driveway, parking on the side of a Maserati Spyder Seth had never seen before. Sneaking around the back of the house, Seth heard shouts and splashes coming from the backyard.
Four teenagers, none of whom Seth recognized, were playing chicken in the infinity pool. Two girls—one brunette and one golden brown—were on the shoulders of two boys, one who bore an uncanny resemblance to Jimmy Cooper, only younger, and more muscular.
"Stop it, Nathan," the brunette shrieked, wildly swaying on the boy's shoulders. Seth wasn't sure if Nathan was the girl's boyfriend, or if he lived in the Cohen house.
"Nathan, the pizza's here," Seth saw his mom, Kirsten, pop her head out of the main house. So Nathan was his "replacement". Sort of…Seth suddenly felt like punching someone as Nathan eased the dark haired girl off his shoulders, jumped out of the pool, and slung his arm around Kirsten Cohen. She was Seth's mom, not his.
"Where's Dad?" Seth asked the angel.
"Um," the angel hesitated, "Maybe you should look around yourself."
Seth walked into the house, wondering what the angel had meant. He walked into the kitchen, which, Seth was glad to see, had remained the same. He was also glad to see that his mom was still not making an attempt to cook, judging by the pizza boxes on the counter.
Jimmy Cooper came in, and Seth smiled. At least the Coopers were still his next-door neighbors. His heart sunk, and his jaw dropped, when Jimmy kissed Kirsten on the cheek, which induced a yuck from Nathan. Yuck is right, Seth thought. So Kirsten Cohen wasn't Kirsten Cohen…she was Kirsten Cooper.
"So, Jimmy's Nathan's dad," Seth said lamely. Where was Sandy? Had he and Kirsten every met? This was like a joke gone horribly wrong. His mom couldn't be married to Marissa's dad…
"Your mom got pregnant the same time Julie did," the angel explained. "But since Jimmy loved your mom he paid Julie a lot of money to hightail it out of his life."
"So, there's no Marissa?" Seth asked, finding himself strangely missing the girl who'd caused so much grief in Ryan's life. Maybe he had been too hard on her before he and Ryan left. It wasn't only her fault…
The guardian angel shook its head forlornly. "I'm afraid not."
Seth made a gagging noise when his mom leaned in for another kiss. He had to stop thinking of her like that…otherwise, things would be just too weird. She was Kirsten Cooper, and didn't have a son named Seth.
"Mom, Dad," Nathan groaned. "Woah, separate seats, you guys. Come on, there's no sex in the champagne room."
Wait a second…Seth thought, That's my line.
"Remind me to tell my mom that she and Jimmy would have never worked," Seth requested, taking his angel's hand and squeezing it tight. His mom seemed happy…but the angel had looked sad when telling him whom they were visiting. As much as Seth hated to see his parents with anyone but each other, he hoped his dad was happy too.
"Can do." The angel saluted smartly, then broke out into a smile. "It's time to go."
"One more look around," Seth begged, and the angel consented. He waved to his mom, not realizing that a single tear was rolling down his cheek. "I love you mom. I probably don't tell you that enough, and I probably shouldn't make fun of your cooking…I'm sorry."
Seth promised himself that he would never say he hated his parents again. Seeing Nathan with them…seeing his mom with Jimmy…it made him realize just what he was missing.
They left the Cohen, ahem, Cooper house and Seth got into the motorcycle side-basket, but not without a bit of grumbling.
"Well, you handled that quite well," Seth's guardian angel commended him, "but you'd better behave when we see Sandy."
"I will," Seth promised, crossing his fingers behind his back.
Whether or not the angel knew this, it chose to ignore it. Instead, the angel sighed and pressed down on the gas pedal.
Seth wondered what could be so bad about his father's life. Whatever it was, the angel was becoming increasingly apprehensive, and gripped the handlebars firmly. Seth told himself to relax…but it was easier said than done.