Life Without You
Disclaimer: McG and Josh Schwartz own the O.C., I just wish I did.
Summary: Seth sails away, wondering if anyone really cared about his life. What happens when he wishes to never have been born?
A/N: As always, thanks for the reviews. Sorry for the lack of updates but I've been working on another story (writing the whole thing before posting it for once!) and I guess I just got sidetracked. Anyway, this is the last chapter. So enjoy, and don't forget to review!
Seth Cohen.
That booming voice again.
"God?" Seth asked timidly. He was again in a brilliantly blinding white room, and God's voice was echoing intimidating around him.
Yes, Seth?
"Am I done?" Seth realized he was shaking uncontrollably.
A warm laugh surrounded Seth and he ceased his shivering.
Yes, Seth, you're done.
Seth let out a sigh of relief. He was done. He didn't have to go through any more painful moments with his loved ones. His loved ones. They cared about him a lot, and it was obvious that their lives had changed drastically, and for the most part, for the worst. Seth had never realized how important he was to his friends and family. They needed him. Their lives were worlds apart from the lives they'd lived with Seth around.
But what if that was it? What if he didn't exist anymore, for real? Would he now just not be in their lives? Seth couldn't bear the thought of Summer, his dad, Ryan, and many others living the lives they were living without him.
Would he be allowed back? I wish I could have my life back, Seth thought to himself.
Of course you're allowed back, Seth. What did you think, that this was it? Your wish will be granted.
"Well…I guess I just thought…maybe…it was better…this…way…" Seth stopped when he realized how untrue his words were. It was definitely not better this way. He knew that for sure now. Maybe earlier he'd doubted the importance of his existence, but there was no way he could doubt it now.
Seth, you've learned your lesson relatively well. Some people have to stay up here for a very long time before they learn how vital their life is to the world. The life of one person changes other peoples' lives. It can alter the entire world of a person. Just as you saw with Marissa, who wasn't born because you didn't exist.
"But what about the feeling? Why could they sense my presence? I thought that was against the rules…" Seth asked. Now was as good a time as any to have his questions answered.
You've touched the lives of so many, so deeply that it was impossible for them not to feel your presence. I allowed them to, because that is how much you are cared for. Do you understand now?
Seth understood for the most part. After all, it was God, he wasn't supposed to understand all of God's motives and ideas. But he got the gist of it.
Good. Now, are you ready to go back?
Seth nodded. "I am."
The ground beneath him began to swirl and the bright white room faded into pitch black. He began to spin and shut his eyes tight, feeling that uncomfortable weightlessness overcome him, like he was on a roller coaster.
Seth found himself on the Summer Breeze, the harbor in sight. How had he gotten back so quickly? Then Seth smiled. Thank you, God, Seth thought gratefully. It was time to go home, home to a place he never should've left. They needed him. Desperately.
The wind picked up, and Seth raised his sail. Soon he was bumping up against the dock, hurriedly jumping out of his boat and tying it to the dock. He grabbed his small black duffel bag, the one he'd thought would sustain him all the way to Tahiti. Well…more like Catalina, but who had to know that?
He ran down the pier, jumping over ropes and buckets of fish and dirty seawater, sidestepping seagulls and people preparing for a beautiful day of sailing. Seth got to the end of the pier and was relieved to find his skateboard still locked up in the bike rack. He rummaged in his bag for the key to unlock his board and after a few minutes, found it. After grabbing his skateboard, Seth slung his bag over his shoulder and coasted onto dry land.
Seth arrived at his house in record time. He smiled up at the impossibly blue sky, the blue of Ryan's eyes. God was on his side today. Thank you, God, Seth thought for the second time. He had forgotten how good it felt to be going home, knowing he had a home to return to, parents and friends that would welcome him with open arms. The California sun, in all of its scorching heat, had never felt so good on Seth's back.
He rang the doorbell. It was time to face the music, or his parents…and the consequences that would go along with his running away. He would accept the grounding with pleasure, at least he'd know he had parents who cared and worried about him and were there to actually ground him.
A disheveled looking Kirsten opened the door slowly, glancing uninterestedly at Seth, then peering out the door.
"Seth?" she asked, as if not willing herself to believe her eyes. Her tall son had gotten tanned and even taller, if that was possible in the two weeks he'd been away. She rubbed her eyes. "Seth!" Kirsten threw herself at Seth, wrapping her arms around her son. He was back.
"Mom," Seth greeted his mother, "I missed you. More than you can imagine."
"Oh, honey, I missed you too. Sandy, Ryan, Seth's home!"
Ryan? Ryan was in Chino…with Theresa and her baby…maybe his baby. Seth shook his head, it would all get cleared up in a matter of minutes.
"You're the best, mom. I know I might not tell you enough, but I love you."
"Sweetie," Kirsten whispered into Seth's hair, "I love you too. It's good to have you back. Life without you just wasn't the same."
Sandy and Ryan rushed to the door. Ryan's hair had been recently trimmed, and Sandy's was slicked back, obviously he'd just gotten back from surfing, or the shower. Kirsten wouldn't release her grip on Seth, almost like she was afraid he'd leave if she didn't hold him close. Seth's eyes lit up when they met Ryan's, and his dad's. They were all here. A family. There were only a few more people he'd have to meet up with later. Namely, Summer and Marissa. He owed Marissa an apology, and Summer a kiss. But that was for later.
Sandy walked around Seth and Kirsten and hugged Seth from the other side. Ryan, without a moment's hesitation, joined in the group hug.
"We missed you, Seth," Sandy said. Ryan nodded.
"I came home and you weren't here," Ryan added. He'd called their house his home. And his home it was too. He was part of the family, now and forever.
Well, I came here and you weren't here, dad wasn't here, and mom, you were Kirsten Cooper, Seth thought to himself. He said, "I missed you dad. I missed your bad jokes and especially your eyebrows. And Ryan, you've been like a brother to me. I can't thank you enough. But why'd you come home? I mean, I'm happy and all, because when you left I was devastated, but what about Theresa?"
Ryan smiled sadly. "Theresa lost the baby, Seth. She forced me to come home after she found out, said I had a family waiting for me. And she was right. But when I came home, and you weren't here, things were different. Life without you just wasn't the same."
He'd called them his family! Seth truly felt like he belonged, like he had a family. A real one. And they cared, a lot--about him. And Ryan had said it--life without him wasn't the same.
Slowly, they broke apart their embrace. "Let's go inside," Kirsten suggested. Ryan walked into the house, followed by Kirsten. Sandy and Seth walked side by side.
"Dad, I love you," Seth said, smiling at his dad. This was possibly the greatest day. He was there, in their lives. Sandy wasn't living in a disgusting apartment in Harlem. His mom wasn't married to Jimmy Cooper. Ryan wasn't being shot and arrested in the course of one day.
Sandy ruffled his son's hair affectionately. "Don't think sucking up will get you a smaller punishment. But I have to admit, just the fact that you're home will reduce your punishment. Life without you just wasn't the same."
"I'm not sucking up," Seth said seriously, "I really do love you. And I'm so glad you're here…and not in Harlem."
Sandy stared curiously at Seth. "I think you've had too much sun."
If only you knew…Seth thought to himself.
After catching up with his family, Seth politely excused himself from the kitchen table, where a big stack of pancakes and eggs--courtesy of Ryan--was still waiting to be eaten.
"I've got to go…find Marissa and Summer," Seth said, standing up.
"Marissa?" Ryan raised his eyebrows. "She told me you were mad at her and said some pretty harsh stuff to her."
"Yeah," Seth rolled his eyes, "That's why I've got to find her. To apologize."
"Okay," Ryan said, "Tell her I'll call her later."
So Ryan and Marissa were back together. That was a relief. Much as they were sickeningly sweet and too perfect for each other, Seth wanted his friends to be happy.
Sandy threw the keys to the Range Rover at him. "Marissa doesn't live next door any more," he explained. Seth nodded his head. Oh, right. How could he have forgotten his grandfather's wedding to Marissa's mom?
"Thanks dad. I love you. I love all of you."
Seth quickly drove to Marissa's new house. Once he'd gotten there, he was surprised, because he had never been there before and had no directions. Once again he smiled knowingly at the skies above. Thank you, God, for the third time. And it wouldn't be the last.
He rang the doorbell of the impressive house…it was more like a palace though. Julie Cooper--rather, Nichol--answered the door.
"Hello, Seth," she said, smiling for once. And it wasn't a fake smile. Seth guessed his grandfather made her really happy…that grossed him out though…and Caleb was also loaded, so that was probably another plus for Julie.
"Hi, Julie." Was he supposed to call her Grandma? Because she was the last person he'd think of being a Grandma, his Grandma no less. "Is Marissa here?"
"Yeah…" Julie paused, "She's up in her room. Probably on the phone with Ryan. Why don't you go upstairs? Marissa's room is the third room on the right."
Seth stepped into the foyer, which was extremely large. Beautiful, too. He walked up the stairs and passed his grandfather, who walked by, then spun around. "Seth?"
"Grandpa," Seth answered, hugging Caleb stiffly.
"When did you get back?" Caleb asked, wondering why no one had called him.
"Just today. Like, two hours ago," Seth said quickly. "I'll talk to you later, okay?"
Caleb nodded and continued down the stairs. Seth walked down the hall and knocked on the third door on the right. This house was impressive. His grandfather had really outdone himself.
"Come in," Marissa yelled. Seth could hear Modest Mouse blaring on the other side of the door. He smiled, remembering his disbelief when he found out he liked the same music as Marissa Cooper. Miss Popularity. That had been a long time ago though.
"Hi." Seth opened the door. Marissa's eyes widened, and she picked up a remote and turned off the music.
"Seth?" she asked cautiously. "What are you doing home? And what are you doing here?"
"It was time to come home," Seth told her. "And I came to see you."
Marissa's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "What, so you can bitch at me some more?"
"No." Seth sat down on Marissa's bed. Her room overlooked the ocean, and had a beautiful little balcony. "I came to apologize."
Marissa's eyes softened their glare. "Oh."
"Look, I shouldn't have said those things. I didn't believe Ryan about Oliver either, and it definitely wasn't your fault he left. I mean, it's not like you got Theresa pregnant…"
She smiled a little, despite herself. "True," she agreed, and seemed to be waiting for more.
"And I just wanted to say I'm glad you're here."
"As opposed to…?"
Seth thought for a second. "Rehab." It was the first thing that came to mind. Marissa smiled. "You've been good for Ryan. He's lucky to have you, Marissa."
Life without Marissa would've definitely been different…and not in a good way. Seth actually kind of thought she'd make a good friend, and resolved to get to know her better. Truth be told, Ryan would be a totally different person without her, and Seth wouldn't even have met Summer without Marissa. In some twisted, tangled way, it made sense to Seth.
Seth leaned over and hugged Marissa. "It's good to have you back," she whispered, "Life without you just wasn't the same. For any of us."
They all cared about him. They really, really cared about him. It was shocking, yet pleasing. Seth bid Marissa, Caleb, and Julie good bye and got into the Range Rover. He sped over to Summer's house, he'd put off seeing her long enough.
Seth knocked on the door three times. Mr. Roberts answered it, peering suspiciously at him. "No, we don't need any Girl Scout cookies," he said, and began to close the door.
"Wait, Mr. Roberts, can I talk to Summer?"
"Seth?" Neil Roberts opened the door widely. "Come in, why didn't you say it was you?"
Seth shrugged and followed the distinguished looking man into the house. The last time he'd met Summer's father, he hadn't exactly taken a shining to Seth. But now he was being nice, or at the very least, cordial.
"Summer's upstairs," Mr. Roberts said. "She's been holed up in her room since you left. Please get her to come out, eat something."
Seth nodded and ran up the stairs. He knocked on Summer's door, and pressed his ear up against it. He could hear Summer sobbing softly.
"Go away, Daddy," she screamed. "I don't want to talk to you!"
"It's me, Seth," Seth said. He heard Summer sniff loudly.
"Stop playing games, Dad, it's really not funny."
"But Summer, I'm back, please just open the door!" Seth whined. He heard Summer's footsteps growing closer to the door.
"If this is a joke…" she opened the door and saw Seth standing there, flesh and bone. "It's not a joke," she said faintly. Seth hugged her tightly, telling himself to never let her go. She relaxed in Seth's embrace for a moment. Then gently removed her small body from his arms and slapped him across the face. "That's for leaving."
"Ow!" Seth rubbed the spot where he'd just been hit. Summer slapped him again, but this time a little more gently.
"That's for leaving me a letter. A two line letter. 'Dear Summer, I know you probably won't understand, but I had to leave for a while. Don't know when, or if, I'll be back. Love, Seth.' How could you do that!?"
Seth rubbed his face again. "I guess I did deserve that," he commented. He cupped Summer's chin in his hand. "Summer, I love you."
"Then why did you leave?" He bent down so his tanned face was eye level with her tear-stained face.
"I guess leaving made me realize what I had back home. And how much it meant to me," Seth said. She really cared. She loved him, and had missed him.
"But you didn't even say bye to me," Summer whimpered, tears flowing down her beautiful face. Seth was pretty sure they were tears of happiness that he was home, but a few tears were for the pain she'd endured during his absence.
"If I'd come to say goodbye, I wouldn't have been able to leave," Seth explained.
"Oh, Seth." Summer buried her head in Seth's chest, sobbing.
"I love you, Summer," Seth said softly, rubbing her back. He loved her so much, and was beginning to see how much his leaving had hurt her.
"I love you too…Seth," Summer replied, in a low, almost incoherent tone. "I'm so glad you're home. Life without you…it sucked. It just wasn't the same."
"It's good to be home," Seth whispered, delicately kissing Summer's head. She tilted her head up and their lips met.
Seth had learned his lesson, all right. Life without him just wasn't the same. Thank you, God, Seth thought to himself, before letting himself get caught up in a kiss with the girl he loved.
You see, Seth, life without you was a different life for each of your friends and family.
Seth couldn't believe his ears. God was still communicating with him? "I see," he said out loud, practically into Summer's mouth.
"What?" she asked, confused.
"Nothing," Seth replied, and kissed her passionately.
He was home, and nothing in the world would make him want to leave again.
A/N: So there you have it. Liked the ending? Hated it? Let me know! Also, be on the lookout for a new story from me sometime soon. Thanks for reading!