A/N: Sorry it took me so long. Work and college and....one more update next
week then there'll be none for about two and a half weeks because I'll be
away (yey!) Thank you for all your lovely reviews, as always! I know this
is short but I'll make it up to you. Basically this chapter is to prove
that Alex is conflicted between doing what she thinks is right, and doing
what she wants. Enjoy!-Kiera
Chapter 9: Everytime
"If you had just said sorry all of this would of been different. If you had just apologised I could of pretended you meant it and I would of stayed,because I loved you. But you never did so I left."
That was what Alexandra Springer had blurted out to John exactly one hour before as they stood in a garden celebrating a mutual friend's birthday. He couldn't remember exactly how the conversation started, or when it turned into a fight, but that was how it had ended. Alex had stormed back inside after that and John hadn't been able to find her. It had been two months since his confession to Kurt and when he saw her that night, standing in a corner wearing a red dress that he knew had been his last birthday gift to her, he had promised himself that he was going to tell her. He had to, especially after Torrie had taken great pleasure in telling him Randy and Alex where in love. If he waited much longer he was going to miss his chance. He was driving home now, wondering what to do. How much longer did he actually have? It was pushing on five months since she'd left, and especially now if she was in love. He had to act fast. If he could just get Alex alone and tell her....but that was no guarntee she would take him back. Or even listen. How could he say sorry, after so long? Alex arrived home, left the house dark and lay on the carpeted floor of the hall staring blankly at the ceiling. She was conflicted, she could feel it. Her heart was urging her to pick up the phone and tell him it wasn't too late. Her head was telling her that she'd walked away with her head held high, there was no reason to throw that away now. Why lose her pride and Randy? Randy. Alex thought about him. Her feelings for him where definatly still growing, but love still aluded her. It was just that far away. She got up to retrive the phone and lay back down during her phone conversation with Randy. The sound of his voice settled her some what, and helped the tight knot of anger she felt slip away. She was angry with herself on so many levels. For slipping up to John, for betraying herself and for doing it to Randy who'd been so good to her. So understanding. There came an urgent hammering on the door some fifteen minutes later. Alex hung up and crept towards the door, through the glass panle she saw a male outline and hid out of sight.
"Alex." John's voice drifted through banging once more. "Alex please open up. I need to talk to you."His voice was tinged with desperation. "There's something you should know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I did."
Her hand was hoovering of the handle, dangerously close to unlocking it and throwing herself into his arms. A wave of emotion crashed over her, a horrible sadness that she remembered all to well from the day she left. Her inner voice kicked in.
"Open that door and you'll feel like that all over again."
So she didn't, Alex sat on the floor and listened for the longest time, until John left. There would be no more of this nonseness. Not anymore.
Chapter 9: Everytime
"If you had just said sorry all of this would of been different. If you had just apologised I could of pretended you meant it and I would of stayed,because I loved you. But you never did so I left."
That was what Alexandra Springer had blurted out to John exactly one hour before as they stood in a garden celebrating a mutual friend's birthday. He couldn't remember exactly how the conversation started, or when it turned into a fight, but that was how it had ended. Alex had stormed back inside after that and John hadn't been able to find her. It had been two months since his confession to Kurt and when he saw her that night, standing in a corner wearing a red dress that he knew had been his last birthday gift to her, he had promised himself that he was going to tell her. He had to, especially after Torrie had taken great pleasure in telling him Randy and Alex where in love. If he waited much longer he was going to miss his chance. He was driving home now, wondering what to do. How much longer did he actually have? It was pushing on five months since she'd left, and especially now if she was in love. He had to act fast. If he could just get Alex alone and tell her....but that was no guarntee she would take him back. Or even listen. How could he say sorry, after so long? Alex arrived home, left the house dark and lay on the carpeted floor of the hall staring blankly at the ceiling. She was conflicted, she could feel it. Her heart was urging her to pick up the phone and tell him it wasn't too late. Her head was telling her that she'd walked away with her head held high, there was no reason to throw that away now. Why lose her pride and Randy? Randy. Alex thought about him. Her feelings for him where definatly still growing, but love still aluded her. It was just that far away. She got up to retrive the phone and lay back down during her phone conversation with Randy. The sound of his voice settled her some what, and helped the tight knot of anger she felt slip away. She was angry with herself on so many levels. For slipping up to John, for betraying herself and for doing it to Randy who'd been so good to her. So understanding. There came an urgent hammering on the door some fifteen minutes later. Alex hung up and crept towards the door, through the glass panle she saw a male outline and hid out of sight.
"Alex." John's voice drifted through banging once more. "Alex please open up. I need to talk to you."His voice was tinged with desperation. "There's something you should know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I did."
Her hand was hoovering of the handle, dangerously close to unlocking it and throwing herself into his arms. A wave of emotion crashed over her, a horrible sadness that she remembered all to well from the day she left. Her inner voice kicked in.
"Open that door and you'll feel like that all over again."
So she didn't, Alex sat on the floor and listened for the longest time, until John left. There would be no more of this nonseness. Not anymore.