A/N: Thank you, as always, for the reviews. If you're very luck there'll be
another update tomorrow (lucky people!) But firstly:
Aussiewrestlingfan: I'm working on Bring Me To Life. I know the storyline
but i'm having trouble with the in between bits and I need to discuss it
with...
Alys Deejay: I love your fic 'My Little Hellcat' It's amazing! My yahoo has
been buggered so I'm sorry for not getting in touch. I will send you a
LENGHTY e-mail as soon as possible!
For everyone else, Enjoy!-Kiera
Chapter 13: It's Better Then Regretting
Alex had been pushed into a side room by her mother, so to stay out of the way while the church filled up with people. Torrie had hardly said two words and kept rushing off places before coming back to make sure she was alright. Alex grabbed the sides of her dress and pulled them out as far as she could before beginning to rock slightly on her heels in front of her mirror. There had been a great debate between Cynthia Springer-Hall and Cynthia's five sisters as to how Alex should have her hair on the day. They'd settled for half up half down with Alex's Grandmother's hair pin. The noise coming from inside the chapel was beginning to increase, she could hear the dull babble through the walls. Alex let go of her dress and looked down at her shkaing hands. Her Aunt Barbie had insisted she wear lace gloves, but she looked like Madonna.
"So," her inner voice started up. "Tell me, are you really going to do this? I mean put on the veil, link arms with your mother and walk down the aisle while everyone you've ever meant ooh's and ah's?"
Why wasn't she?
"John!"
Alex groaned and warned the inner voice not to start that up again. She'd been so good not thinking about him. But that in large was the amount of time she'd spent organising the wedding. If she'd hired a wedding planner like so many people had suggested, god knows what she would of done. The door to the room opened and Cynthia swept in. Alex couldn't help but smile, her mother was positivly glowing and was wearing a cream suit with matching hat. Cynthia put her hands on Alex's shoulders and kissed her daughter on the cheek.
"Shall I say all those horrible cliches or not?' she asked.
"No, it's ok. I know. You love me and you're proud of me."
Cynthia turned Alex around and brushed stray hair out of her eyes. "Oh Alexandra. You are so your fathers daughter. He'd be so proud of you."
"I thought you werent going to do this."
"I know. Sorry. Whenever you're ready."
Cynthia kissed Alex once more and left the room. She was going to be sick. By the time John got to the church and found the room Alex was in, she was about to leave and stopped dead in her tracks. She swept her veil away from her face and smiled.
"I'm glad you're here, but I think you're in the wrong place."
He shook his head. "I'm not."
It must of been something to do with the sun coming through the window and bouncing off her dress, but there seemed to be a glow around Alex. She quickly turned away from him and leaned in close to the mirror to inspect her eye make up.
"Oh. Really?"
She tried to sound like she didn't care, of course she was certian her beating heart was visible through her dress.
"What are you doing? I know you don't want to be here."
"Says who?"
"Says Torrie."
She laughed and pulled her veil back over her face. Her laughter faded and her voice came out as a small squeak. "Just...."
"Alex I love you, and I know you love me. So let's go."
It was at that moment that Alex hurled her boquet at him, knowing, but not caring, that it would do no damage.
"You cheated on me with another women! Loving you and trusting you are two different things!"
Her anger came from different places. The audacity at John waiting until her god damn wedding day to tell her, the fact he did it in the first place. The fact that he was right.
"Come with me, and I'll marry you."
"You didn't want to marry me when we where together and you only want to now because someone else will."
It was true. He'd honestly never thought about marrying her, until Randy had proposed. Of course he wanted to be with her, but marriage had been a compleatly different thing.
"Why are you still standing there if you don't love him?" John asked. "You'll regret it."
Alex put her hands to her face and shook her head. Every little thing her inner voice had told her reguarding John was replaying in her head. The most vivid one being when she'd been standing in a hallway, dumbstruck hearing the words "John cheated" going round.
"We love each other and that's all that matters."
"No, it's not." Alex replied, her face still hidden. "You're right John, I do love you and I do want to be with you." Now she looked at him. "But I can't. I won't. I won't let you do that to me again."
"But I won't." John said desperatly, stepping towards her.
"I don't know that."
"You don't know that I won't either. You just have to trust me."
He was standing right in front of her now, holding her hand and moving her veil. She wanted to. She wanted to run away from the church with him and never look back. But what John had said was exactly the reason she couldn't.
"I can't trust you, and I don't think I ever will." She kissed him, just the once leaving a sticky pink lip gloss mark. "I'm sorry John. But there's somebody waiting for
Chapter 13: It's Better Then Regretting
Alex had been pushed into a side room by her mother, so to stay out of the way while the church filled up with people. Torrie had hardly said two words and kept rushing off places before coming back to make sure she was alright. Alex grabbed the sides of her dress and pulled them out as far as she could before beginning to rock slightly on her heels in front of her mirror. There had been a great debate between Cynthia Springer-Hall and Cynthia's five sisters as to how Alex should have her hair on the day. They'd settled for half up half down with Alex's Grandmother's hair pin. The noise coming from inside the chapel was beginning to increase, she could hear the dull babble through the walls. Alex let go of her dress and looked down at her shkaing hands. Her Aunt Barbie had insisted she wear lace gloves, but she looked like Madonna.
"So," her inner voice started up. "Tell me, are you really going to do this? I mean put on the veil, link arms with your mother and walk down the aisle while everyone you've ever meant ooh's and ah's?"
Why wasn't she?
"John!"
Alex groaned and warned the inner voice not to start that up again. She'd been so good not thinking about him. But that in large was the amount of time she'd spent organising the wedding. If she'd hired a wedding planner like so many people had suggested, god knows what she would of done. The door to the room opened and Cynthia swept in. Alex couldn't help but smile, her mother was positivly glowing and was wearing a cream suit with matching hat. Cynthia put her hands on Alex's shoulders and kissed her daughter on the cheek.
"Shall I say all those horrible cliches or not?' she asked.
"No, it's ok. I know. You love me and you're proud of me."
Cynthia turned Alex around and brushed stray hair out of her eyes. "Oh Alexandra. You are so your fathers daughter. He'd be so proud of you."
"I thought you werent going to do this."
"I know. Sorry. Whenever you're ready."
Cynthia kissed Alex once more and left the room. She was going to be sick. By the time John got to the church and found the room Alex was in, she was about to leave and stopped dead in her tracks. She swept her veil away from her face and smiled.
"I'm glad you're here, but I think you're in the wrong place."
He shook his head. "I'm not."
It must of been something to do with the sun coming through the window and bouncing off her dress, but there seemed to be a glow around Alex. She quickly turned away from him and leaned in close to the mirror to inspect her eye make up.
"Oh. Really?"
She tried to sound like she didn't care, of course she was certian her beating heart was visible through her dress.
"What are you doing? I know you don't want to be here."
"Says who?"
"Says Torrie."
She laughed and pulled her veil back over her face. Her laughter faded and her voice came out as a small squeak. "Just...."
"Alex I love you, and I know you love me. So let's go."
It was at that moment that Alex hurled her boquet at him, knowing, but not caring, that it would do no damage.
"You cheated on me with another women! Loving you and trusting you are two different things!"
Her anger came from different places. The audacity at John waiting until her god damn wedding day to tell her, the fact he did it in the first place. The fact that he was right.
"Come with me, and I'll marry you."
"You didn't want to marry me when we where together and you only want to now because someone else will."
It was true. He'd honestly never thought about marrying her, until Randy had proposed. Of course he wanted to be with her, but marriage had been a compleatly different thing.
"Why are you still standing there if you don't love him?" John asked. "You'll regret it."
Alex put her hands to her face and shook her head. Every little thing her inner voice had told her reguarding John was replaying in her head. The most vivid one being when she'd been standing in a hallway, dumbstruck hearing the words "John cheated" going round.
"We love each other and that's all that matters."
"No, it's not." Alex replied, her face still hidden. "You're right John, I do love you and I do want to be with you." Now she looked at him. "But I can't. I won't. I won't let you do that to me again."
"But I won't." John said desperatly, stepping towards her.
"I don't know that."
"You don't know that I won't either. You just have to trust me."
He was standing right in front of her now, holding her hand and moving her veil. She wanted to. She wanted to run away from the church with him and never look back. But what John had said was exactly the reason she couldn't.
"I can't trust you, and I don't think I ever will." She kissed him, just the once leaving a sticky pink lip gloss mark. "I'm sorry John. But there's somebody waiting for