As before - Disclaimers - Never been there or tried that, wore the book or
read the T-shirt. Have no idea if there are bears where Jack's place is.
Thank you Dena for all of your help, which is greatly appreciated. I owe you a beer, cider, G and T all of the above!
Chapter 5 Journey and Dreams
"It was simply a matter of showing no fear O'Neill".
"Okay," Jack mused. " I'll remember that next time when my leg has been half chewed off."
When the bear had started to get closer to them, Teal'c had calmly stood up, whilst as soon as Jack had started to say
"C----R-----A---P!"
by the time he had got to the 'P', he had heroically rushed to the jeep and started the engine. Once the bear had heard it, he froze in his tracks, and would probably have run away, but Jack was already mentally out of there.
"The bear would have passed us by."
"You think?!" Jack said sarcastically. "Note to self, standard SOP's for bears, run faster than whoever you're with."
"You jumped in the car O'Neill." Teal'c added.
"If I hadn't he'd be chewing my boot about now." Jack said defending himself.
Teal'c paused before replying and absently placed a hand on his stomach.
"I am hungry again O'Neill."
"Great!" Jack muttered. "I nearly get mauled to death and you're worried about your next meal. Remind me to tell Janet about this added side effect of tretonin."
Oddly enough, the base canteen was used to seeing Teal'c at strange hours asking very politely for more Jell-O, especially when he had been subject to a particularly gruelling mission.
"I cannot help it O'Neill." Teal'c replied. "My stomach requires food."
Jack replied, after giving it careful consideration.
"Eat my shorts."
In the cabin, Sam was getting very tired with her most recent obsession.
It had started out as a quiet evening for Sam, when she had decided to make the most of her time alone to clean out Jack's den with the help of a bottle of Merlot. There seemed to be no reason as to why she was doing this, as Jack would not dare to ask such a thing. Despite everything about Jack, she knew he did not have a sexist bone in his body. Maybe, she thought, that was her problem with him at the moment. Did he ever see her as a woman or just a colleague?
Before she decided to bother Daniel, who had retired to the den, she sat down to consider her situation - it was the first time since they had come back from the last mission that she had time to look at why she was so freaked out by her feelings and reactions to Jack.
Looking back at that aborted mission, she realised that she had broken quite a few regulations that evening. Because she had felt unwell, her normal reservations had been forgotten, and even though Jack did not take advantage of that, he had not exactly tried to put her off. There were some moments she could not forget, but her fever-wracked brain must have imagined a few things as well.
Sam stood up, and resolved not to drink any more wine than the glass she had just filled up. She had forgotten that nearly the entire bottle had gone.
The laundry was dry, but the last thing she was going to do was iron it.
"I guess I should put this away," she said to herself.
Sam was hesitant about going into Jack's bedroom. She knew that her own bedroom had aspects of her own personality, and felt that she may be intruding if his bedroom was the same.
"Crap, as if it'll show anything I don't already know.."
Nevertheless, Sam pushed the door open slowly, and turned the light on, taking it all in. When she had helped Teal'c to bed the previous evening, she had not paid attention to the room, but now took the opportunity to have a look around. Everything seemed ordered, tidy, a few trophies on the shelves, pictures of Charlie and Sarah together, and an odd lack of dust. Was this who he was? If so, then Daniel was right, he was uncluttered. Other than two pictures of his previous family, there was nothing in this room that personalised it. Sam felt a sharp pain through her heart, and thought that was the course he had chosen. His reaction when they lost Daniel had felt cold. From then on, all through the time that they had got to know Jonas, she saw the Colonel as an outsider would see him, eventually understanding Jonas' need to belong, to prove himself to this man who rarely showed his feelings.
She still could not understand her sense of trepidation at the mention of this trip. Sam was confident that they would not take their friendship or what had happened any further, but she felt nervous, and strangely disappointed. Something was wrong. Did he actually try to take advantage of her on that strange night?
At that moment Sam decided that she could not deal with the room, threw the clothes and sheets on the bed, grabbed the vacuum cleaner, and moved into the den, to busy herself and try and take her mind off the subject.
Due to the fact that Sam had consumed most of the bottle of wine, she was oblivious to the fact that Daniel was actually SLEEPING in the den. Or trying to sleep anyhow, and she ignored him in her concerted effort to distract herself.
Similarly distracting himself, Jack really should not have been driving, but it helped him to stay awake. Logic did not always work in Jack land.
Teal'c decided to look in the glove compartment for some chocolate that Jack had mentioned might be in there, to assuage his hunger.
"O'Neill, there is no food in this receptacle." Teal'c said pulling out a pile of paperwork, mostly receipts and post -it notes, in amongst out of date insurance documents, broken sunglasses, maps, and 'must do' lists.
"There is however, a receipt for," and he paused to read it " a pair of gloves, purchased three years ago."
"Ah, that was something for Carter's birthday," Jack mentioned reflectively.
As Teal'c rummaged through the glove compartment, Jack could not stand it any longer, and reached over to stop him from messing up his 'system'. The car lurched violently to one side and Jack quickly grabbed the steering wheel and brought the car back to the middle of the road.
"Enough. I will now drive. You have been distracted since we started. I do not wish to be incapacitated again." Teal'c said throwing the assorted items half hazzardly back into the glove compartment. He paused holding up a photograph. "What is this?" He asked as Jack pulled the car over to the side of the road.
It was a picture of the Colonel and Major Carter. In the photo Sam had a baseball cap wedged firmly on her head, so low you could just see her eyes. Jack had his arm around her shoulders and was laughing as well. The photo had been taken about three or four years ago during an SGC softball game.
Jack pulled the car over, and put it in neutral. He left the engine running but made no move to get out of the drivers side. This day was really turning to crap.
"It's just something I don't want to lose. I keep it here because I know it will be safe." "It was just one of those times that I, felt, that .." palms upwards as if trying to weigh what to say next, "things were right." It annoyed him that he felt he had to explain himself.
Finally making a move to get out, he motioned for Teal'c to take over. Jack walked thoughtfully around the bonnet tapping out a rhythm with his fingers as he went.
Moving again at a more sedate pace, Teal'c kept his eyes fixed rigidly on the road as the sun had started to set.
"O'Neill, when we lost Daniel Jackson it became clear to me how important we are to one another."
"Really?" Jack asked, unsure as to which direction the conversation was taking.
"I believe it was clear to you also how Samantha Carter felt about Daniel Jackson's ascension. Also, on the occasion that you were lost for a month with Colonel Maybourne, we were both aware that our continuity as a team was not assured." Teal'c paused giving Jack a chance to consider his words.
"We're always going to lose people Teal'c, we all know that, Sam knows that." Jack had not really understood the point that Teal'c was trying to make, so he tried to explain it to Jack on a more personal level.
"You are important to her, as she is to you. On that basis alone should you not at least be honest with her?"
Jack thought for a moment. There were two things going on here - team and personal stuff. He had never really addressed either of them properly - in fact, hardly at all in the past three years. He had almost cut himself off from showing too much.
"The job demands some things Teal'c, that you can't ignore."
"I realise this. Have I not given up my family, my world, for my cause, or job as you call it?"
"I didn't mean to.." Jack began feeling immediately guilty.
"Our cause is one and the same: our jobs are our lives, and should we not find joy in them as well?"
"If this is about Daniel going and coming back..?"
"No, O'Neill - it is about you, and your inability to deal with your feelings for Samantha."
Jack was stunned and spent the next few miles thinking whether or not to respond. He brought up the subject and had wanted to talk about it, but Teal'c noticing it on his own was another matter. It meant that there was something real going on. He would have to face a similarly confused Samantha Carter within the next hour.
Sam had not reached the same conclusion as Teal'c had about the mixed emotions between her and Jack. It was easy to imagine that it was the same old story: the working relationship was so close that it was inevitable that close friendships would result, and it was easy to believe that you were immune to death, so when faced with it, the status quo would shatter. The agenda did not include falling in love. They were after all, professionals.
Sam was feeling tired, physically and emotionally. She had been thinking a lot about Daniel and the alcohol had made her melancholy. She had done all she could in the den without physically moving Daniel, who was flat on his back on the bottom bunk, oblivious to the world.
Sam shut her eyes for a moment and just wished for a chance to sleep, and to forget how anxious she was feeling.
Cursing to herself, she realised that she had left her glass of wine in Jack's room, and that she would have to go in there again to retrieve it. If discovered, it would feel like an admission of weakness. Sam tried to blank her senses to the room's distractions, and opened the door to be faced with an invitation to lie down and forget her troubles, even if only for an hour. The setting sun cast yellow and orange shadows upon the quilt, irresistible to Sam's fractured mind, as she lay down to rest, if only for a moment.
A light doze brought back shattered memories of the evening that had initiated her current state of mind.
" You're warm, you're so warm - are you sure you want all of those clothes on?" Jack's voice echoed through her head.
She hadn't been able to tell if he was joking or not. He seemed genuinely concerned: that in itself was provocative to her, irrespective of what he had said.
Sam had felt light headed, not even in the real world; how could he justify to himself for holding her close? Face to face, his hands had rubbed up and down her back, trying to help her get to sleep, but it had done the opposite. Their breathing had become slower and deeper for other reasons. She rested her hand on his hip, and his left leg had wrapped around her own legs, to keep her as close as possible. Maybe he had hoped for a connection in more than just spirit, but her frailty had kicked in, and sleep had found her. Just before Sam had dropped off she remembered him murmuring in her ear,
"I love you Sam." Did he really say that?
He had kissed her briefly, finally giving in with a hug, as she sighed and they both slept.
Her dream of sleeping was interrupted as the door to the cabin was opened.
"Lucy, we're home." Jack yelled playfully stepping inside of the cabin. Instantly Sam bolted straight up and tried to shake off the remnants of the rather enticing dream. "Where is everyone?" He tried again.
"O'Neill!" Teal'c shouted from the den.
At that, Sam rushed to the door, nearly bumping into Jack at the same time, in front of the entrance to the den.
Inside they saw Teal'c kneeling beside Daniel.
A very unconscious and scarcely breathing Daniel refused to respond to Teal'cs requests for a reply, as Jack and Sam looked first at their stricken friend, then at each other, expecting answers for something that surprised them both.
Thank you Dena for all of your help, which is greatly appreciated. I owe you a beer, cider, G and T all of the above!
Chapter 5 Journey and Dreams
"It was simply a matter of showing no fear O'Neill".
"Okay," Jack mused. " I'll remember that next time when my leg has been half chewed off."
When the bear had started to get closer to them, Teal'c had calmly stood up, whilst as soon as Jack had started to say
"C----R-----A---P!"
by the time he had got to the 'P', he had heroically rushed to the jeep and started the engine. Once the bear had heard it, he froze in his tracks, and would probably have run away, but Jack was already mentally out of there.
"The bear would have passed us by."
"You think?!" Jack said sarcastically. "Note to self, standard SOP's for bears, run faster than whoever you're with."
"You jumped in the car O'Neill." Teal'c added.
"If I hadn't he'd be chewing my boot about now." Jack said defending himself.
Teal'c paused before replying and absently placed a hand on his stomach.
"I am hungry again O'Neill."
"Great!" Jack muttered. "I nearly get mauled to death and you're worried about your next meal. Remind me to tell Janet about this added side effect of tretonin."
Oddly enough, the base canteen was used to seeing Teal'c at strange hours asking very politely for more Jell-O, especially when he had been subject to a particularly gruelling mission.
"I cannot help it O'Neill." Teal'c replied. "My stomach requires food."
Jack replied, after giving it careful consideration.
"Eat my shorts."
In the cabin, Sam was getting very tired with her most recent obsession.
It had started out as a quiet evening for Sam, when she had decided to make the most of her time alone to clean out Jack's den with the help of a bottle of Merlot. There seemed to be no reason as to why she was doing this, as Jack would not dare to ask such a thing. Despite everything about Jack, she knew he did not have a sexist bone in his body. Maybe, she thought, that was her problem with him at the moment. Did he ever see her as a woman or just a colleague?
Before she decided to bother Daniel, who had retired to the den, she sat down to consider her situation - it was the first time since they had come back from the last mission that she had time to look at why she was so freaked out by her feelings and reactions to Jack.
Looking back at that aborted mission, she realised that she had broken quite a few regulations that evening. Because she had felt unwell, her normal reservations had been forgotten, and even though Jack did not take advantage of that, he had not exactly tried to put her off. There were some moments she could not forget, but her fever-wracked brain must have imagined a few things as well.
Sam stood up, and resolved not to drink any more wine than the glass she had just filled up. She had forgotten that nearly the entire bottle had gone.
The laundry was dry, but the last thing she was going to do was iron it.
"I guess I should put this away," she said to herself.
Sam was hesitant about going into Jack's bedroom. She knew that her own bedroom had aspects of her own personality, and felt that she may be intruding if his bedroom was the same.
"Crap, as if it'll show anything I don't already know.."
Nevertheless, Sam pushed the door open slowly, and turned the light on, taking it all in. When she had helped Teal'c to bed the previous evening, she had not paid attention to the room, but now took the opportunity to have a look around. Everything seemed ordered, tidy, a few trophies on the shelves, pictures of Charlie and Sarah together, and an odd lack of dust. Was this who he was? If so, then Daniel was right, he was uncluttered. Other than two pictures of his previous family, there was nothing in this room that personalised it. Sam felt a sharp pain through her heart, and thought that was the course he had chosen. His reaction when they lost Daniel had felt cold. From then on, all through the time that they had got to know Jonas, she saw the Colonel as an outsider would see him, eventually understanding Jonas' need to belong, to prove himself to this man who rarely showed his feelings.
She still could not understand her sense of trepidation at the mention of this trip. Sam was confident that they would not take their friendship or what had happened any further, but she felt nervous, and strangely disappointed. Something was wrong. Did he actually try to take advantage of her on that strange night?
At that moment Sam decided that she could not deal with the room, threw the clothes and sheets on the bed, grabbed the vacuum cleaner, and moved into the den, to busy herself and try and take her mind off the subject.
Due to the fact that Sam had consumed most of the bottle of wine, she was oblivious to the fact that Daniel was actually SLEEPING in the den. Or trying to sleep anyhow, and she ignored him in her concerted effort to distract herself.
Similarly distracting himself, Jack really should not have been driving, but it helped him to stay awake. Logic did not always work in Jack land.
Teal'c decided to look in the glove compartment for some chocolate that Jack had mentioned might be in there, to assuage his hunger.
"O'Neill, there is no food in this receptacle." Teal'c said pulling out a pile of paperwork, mostly receipts and post -it notes, in amongst out of date insurance documents, broken sunglasses, maps, and 'must do' lists.
"There is however, a receipt for," and he paused to read it " a pair of gloves, purchased three years ago."
"Ah, that was something for Carter's birthday," Jack mentioned reflectively.
As Teal'c rummaged through the glove compartment, Jack could not stand it any longer, and reached over to stop him from messing up his 'system'. The car lurched violently to one side and Jack quickly grabbed the steering wheel and brought the car back to the middle of the road.
"Enough. I will now drive. You have been distracted since we started. I do not wish to be incapacitated again." Teal'c said throwing the assorted items half hazzardly back into the glove compartment. He paused holding up a photograph. "What is this?" He asked as Jack pulled the car over to the side of the road.
It was a picture of the Colonel and Major Carter. In the photo Sam had a baseball cap wedged firmly on her head, so low you could just see her eyes. Jack had his arm around her shoulders and was laughing as well. The photo had been taken about three or four years ago during an SGC softball game.
Jack pulled the car over, and put it in neutral. He left the engine running but made no move to get out of the drivers side. This day was really turning to crap.
"It's just something I don't want to lose. I keep it here because I know it will be safe." "It was just one of those times that I, felt, that .." palms upwards as if trying to weigh what to say next, "things were right." It annoyed him that he felt he had to explain himself.
Finally making a move to get out, he motioned for Teal'c to take over. Jack walked thoughtfully around the bonnet tapping out a rhythm with his fingers as he went.
Moving again at a more sedate pace, Teal'c kept his eyes fixed rigidly on the road as the sun had started to set.
"O'Neill, when we lost Daniel Jackson it became clear to me how important we are to one another."
"Really?" Jack asked, unsure as to which direction the conversation was taking.
"I believe it was clear to you also how Samantha Carter felt about Daniel Jackson's ascension. Also, on the occasion that you were lost for a month with Colonel Maybourne, we were both aware that our continuity as a team was not assured." Teal'c paused giving Jack a chance to consider his words.
"We're always going to lose people Teal'c, we all know that, Sam knows that." Jack had not really understood the point that Teal'c was trying to make, so he tried to explain it to Jack on a more personal level.
"You are important to her, as she is to you. On that basis alone should you not at least be honest with her?"
Jack thought for a moment. There were two things going on here - team and personal stuff. He had never really addressed either of them properly - in fact, hardly at all in the past three years. He had almost cut himself off from showing too much.
"The job demands some things Teal'c, that you can't ignore."
"I realise this. Have I not given up my family, my world, for my cause, or job as you call it?"
"I didn't mean to.." Jack began feeling immediately guilty.
"Our cause is one and the same: our jobs are our lives, and should we not find joy in them as well?"
"If this is about Daniel going and coming back..?"
"No, O'Neill - it is about you, and your inability to deal with your feelings for Samantha."
Jack was stunned and spent the next few miles thinking whether or not to respond. He brought up the subject and had wanted to talk about it, but Teal'c noticing it on his own was another matter. It meant that there was something real going on. He would have to face a similarly confused Samantha Carter within the next hour.
Sam had not reached the same conclusion as Teal'c had about the mixed emotions between her and Jack. It was easy to imagine that it was the same old story: the working relationship was so close that it was inevitable that close friendships would result, and it was easy to believe that you were immune to death, so when faced with it, the status quo would shatter. The agenda did not include falling in love. They were after all, professionals.
Sam was feeling tired, physically and emotionally. She had been thinking a lot about Daniel and the alcohol had made her melancholy. She had done all she could in the den without physically moving Daniel, who was flat on his back on the bottom bunk, oblivious to the world.
Sam shut her eyes for a moment and just wished for a chance to sleep, and to forget how anxious she was feeling.
Cursing to herself, she realised that she had left her glass of wine in Jack's room, and that she would have to go in there again to retrieve it. If discovered, it would feel like an admission of weakness. Sam tried to blank her senses to the room's distractions, and opened the door to be faced with an invitation to lie down and forget her troubles, even if only for an hour. The setting sun cast yellow and orange shadows upon the quilt, irresistible to Sam's fractured mind, as she lay down to rest, if only for a moment.
A light doze brought back shattered memories of the evening that had initiated her current state of mind.
" You're warm, you're so warm - are you sure you want all of those clothes on?" Jack's voice echoed through her head.
She hadn't been able to tell if he was joking or not. He seemed genuinely concerned: that in itself was provocative to her, irrespective of what he had said.
Sam had felt light headed, not even in the real world; how could he justify to himself for holding her close? Face to face, his hands had rubbed up and down her back, trying to help her get to sleep, but it had done the opposite. Their breathing had become slower and deeper for other reasons. She rested her hand on his hip, and his left leg had wrapped around her own legs, to keep her as close as possible. Maybe he had hoped for a connection in more than just spirit, but her frailty had kicked in, and sleep had found her. Just before Sam had dropped off she remembered him murmuring in her ear,
"I love you Sam." Did he really say that?
He had kissed her briefly, finally giving in with a hug, as she sighed and they both slept.
Her dream of sleeping was interrupted as the door to the cabin was opened.
"Lucy, we're home." Jack yelled playfully stepping inside of the cabin. Instantly Sam bolted straight up and tried to shake off the remnants of the rather enticing dream. "Where is everyone?" He tried again.
"O'Neill!" Teal'c shouted from the den.
At that, Sam rushed to the door, nearly bumping into Jack at the same time, in front of the entrance to the den.
Inside they saw Teal'c kneeling beside Daniel.
A very unconscious and scarcely breathing Daniel refused to respond to Teal'cs requests for a reply, as Jack and Sam looked first at their stricken friend, then at each other, expecting answers for something that surprised them both.