Warnings: Yaoi.
Shinigami Chapter 8: Warnings
Peeking into the large room before the throne room, Duo saw Shinigami and Heero. Heero leaned against Shinigami's chest with his eyes half-closed, Shinigami sat in a corner of the couch with one arm around Heero and another holding a small book in front of him. Duo looked down sadly and turned to leave.
"Please - Join us..." A voice stopped him. He peered back into the room and Shinigami beckoned to him, his eyes still on the pages of the book. Heero was now looking up at the door where Duo stood. Duo stepped slowly into the room, watching Heero's gaze on him. He finally sighed and looked back down at the book in front of him and Shinigami.
Duo bit his lower lip and averted his eyes from the "couple". He finally came in and sat in a chair near the fireplace. He stared blankly at the stone lions. "So, Duo-san... Did you sleep well?" asked Shinigami, though he could answer that himself just by looking at the dark rings under the boy's eyes.
"Just fine..." Duo mumbled back. He heard Heero yawn and wondered if he had gotten any sleep either.
Shinigami smirked in Duo's direction. Heero would never be able to go back to his old life. Ever. He'd made sure of that the night before when he had made love to Heero, making the spell stronger than ever.
Duo swallowed and turned his eyes away from the lions to where the red, purple, gold-specked stone floor met the red rug beneath them. He stared at the off-white fringe on the rug and thought about what he should do about Heero. At that moment, Jemima walked into the room, followed by Trowa and Quatre. She stopped and bowed while the other two went to stand next to Duo's chair. Jemima grinned at Shinigami on seeing Duo's condition.
Shinigami rubbed Heero's shoulder and smirked again. Heero's eyes closed and he sighed heavily. Duo looked over at them in time to see Heero snuggle closer to Shinigami. He raised his eyes to Shinigami who wore a smug look of victory. Duo's pain-filled eyes lowered back to the peacefully resting Heero. He longed to hold him again but as he thought this, he understood that it was impossible to get him back. He swallowed hard and his eyes filled as he turned back around to look down at the fringe on the rug again.
Shinigami watched Duo's actions closely, noting small signs of defeat in his character. He relaxed at this and sighed quietly in relief. At least he wasn't going to try to get Heero back. He obviously saw that it was futile, and this gave Shinigami satisfaction.
Duo finally relaxed because of his realizing that there was nothing he could do, and fell asleep in the chair. And when Heero, Shinigami, and the others left, Heero dropped back and watched Duo sleeping for a moment before he took a blanket and covered the boy. He pursed his lips in thought for a moment as something seemed to flash into his mind and right back out again.
3 Days Later...
Duo lay in bed one night as he thought about his time here. It had been pretty uneventful: Heero hung all over Shinigami, Duo was sure he'd given up, Quatre and Trowa stuck around, offering friendly advice to Duo. He sulked around the castle during most of the day. Jemima had become a little bit more friendly towards them all though she still worried about Heero getting his memory back and didn't approve of Duo being around him. But now Heero had started sleeping with Shinigami instead of in his own room. Duo was only bothered a little by this.
He turned his head to look out the window next to his bed. He got up and walked over to the large glass doors leading to a balcony. He put one hand on it and pressed his forehead to the cool glass. He wondered if the air was still as foul and thick as he remembered. He put his hand on the gold colored handle and opened the door, pushing it out. There was a slight breeze that smelled of the ocean. Duo stepped outside and wondered how the air could smell like this. He inhaled deeply and was relieved when it flowed in and out of his lungs smoothly.
He stepped up to the cold, metal rail that surrounded the balcony. He put both hands on it and stared out into the darkness. He looked up, but wasn't surprised when he couldn't see any stars or moon. The breeze blew some stray strands of Duo's long, chestnut hair that had escaped from his braid around his face. He desperately wished that Heero could be standing here next to him, watching the calm, black outside world.
He sighed heavily and dropped slowly to his knees, leaning against the wall and holding onto the rail. The warm breeze made him drowzy and he let his eyes close. Wrapped in a warm, ever-moving blanket of air, he dozed off.
The long, lavender curtains inside the doors waved in the soft breeze as the door remained open.
Heero opened his eyes. It sounded like there was something in the hallway. His eyes flicked to Shinigami who slept soundly beside him. He cautiously rose from bed and walked into the hall. He looked down both ways and listened for that strange noise again. It was kind of like a soft but shrill whistling. It was louder to his right, so he went that way. He slipped into a navy blue robe he'd grabbed and left it open.
As he got further down the hall, the sound grew louder. He finally passed in front of one room and as his feet touched the floor in front of the door, he could feel a warm breeze coming from under it. He didn't know if someone was in the room or not, so he opened the door just a little bit after listening for any noises other than the whistling caused by the wind under the door. He saw no one, only a pair of waving curtains in front of an open balcony door. He slowly stepped inside and peered out to the balcony.
He saw Duo sort of curled up against the wall, his hand on the rail in front of him. Heero looked closer and realized that the boy was asleep. He stepped out onto the balcony and put his hands on the rail much like Duo had done earlier and stared into the darkness.
He looked toward Duo in surprise as he started mumbling. Heero half-smiled at him as he continued to mumble in his sleep. He knelt next to him and leaned in so his ear was near Duo's mouth so he could hear what he was saying. He could only make out some of the first part: "... Are you... -chan? ... I'll never..." He strained his ears to pick up anything else the boy might be saying. His eyes widened as his own name came out of Duo's mouth, clear as a bell. "Heero... you were dreaming... No, it didn't hurt... scared you... aishi... Heero..."
Heero wondered what Duo meant by all this nonsense.
Duo's eyes fluttered open. He immediately saw a dark head of hair in front of him and gasped, lurching forward in surprise. He ended up smacking heads with the person in front of him. He let out a small yelp and held his nose with both hands while Heero stood, rubbing the side of his head. Duo opened his eyes again and scrambled to his feet once he saw it was Heero who he had bumped into.
His whole body shook and he stared with wide eyes at Heero who raised his glowing green eyes to Duo. "H-H-Heero!" Duo cried in a low voice.
"Yeah, sorry I surprised you. I heard something and came down to see what it was. I found you sleeping here." Heero placed his hand on the rail.
Duo was pressing himself against the wall as hard as he could, as if it would get him away from Heero. He was in a corner and Heero was standing right in front of him. Heero continued, "Um... You started mumbling, and I was just curious, so I um... Listened. Sorry about that."
Duo's eyes widened ever further. "I-I was talking in my sleep!" he asked quietly.
Heero nodded. "Yeah, you said something about scaring someone..." He cleared his throat nervously. He wondered if he should mention that Duo had said his name twice.
Duo swallowed. "I-is... Is that it?" He was still shaking, Heero noticed. He thought that Duo must feel uncomfortable around him. He took a step backwards and shook his head. "What else did I say?" Duo asked in a whisper.
"You... mentioned me..." Heero replied quietly.
Duo thought he was going to just die right there. "What'd I say about you?"
Heero thought back to the mumbled words. "Well, first you said that I was dreaming, then you said something about scaring me... And you started to say something; it was something like 'ashi' or something." He thought about what Duo might have said, but could think of nothing.
Duo could feel the color draining from his face, though Heero couldn't see it in the darkness. He'd almost said "Aishiteru"! He was breathing hard and he suddenly felt weak. He relaxed and stopped shaking. He gripped the rail hard to keep from falling down. He pressed his other hand to his forehead. Heero tilted his head. "Are you alright?" he asked, taking a small step closer to Duo.
He yelped and stood up straight despite his feeling like he could just keel over and die. "Yes! I'm fine!" he said quickly. Heero stopped and backed up again.
"Ok... if you say so."
Duo sighed in relief. If Heero so much as touched him, he was afraid of losing himself and doing something to him. His "other side" hadn't come up for quite some time. He hadn't appeared since Duo and Heero were on earth, Heero was alive and before his coma came, Duo felt him take over several times.
He could already feel him coming out of his long hibernation and coming closer to the surface. Duo suddenly noticed that there was enough room between Heero and the wall that he could get through without bumping into Heero. He rushed back into his room and was quickly followed by Heero.
"Hey, wait a sec-" he said, putting his hand on Duo's shoulder to stop him.
Duo stopped dead and shuddered violently as a chill ran up his spine from Heero's touch, even through his clothes. He started shaking again and took a deep breath. "You'd better go..." his voice was a notch deeper than it had been earlier. Heero pulled Duo around so they were face to face.
"What are you talking about? What's the matter with you?" he asked. Duo kept his eyes averted so Heero wouldn't see them. He was sure that they were turning more silver. He pulled away from Heero's grip and held his shoulder. His skin felt strange... Like what Heero had felt when Duo was a ghost and he was alive.
Heero dropped his hand back down to his side. Duo's eyes lifted for a split second, but in that split second, Heero could see glimmering silver specks in the boy's normally amethyst eyes. He took a surprised step backwards. Duo lowered his voice to a pleading whisper, "Please... It would be better for you if you left..." His voice grew deeper each minute with Heero and his eyes turned slowly more silver.
Heero wondered what he meant by that comment. He hesitated before slowly stepping around Duo and walking towards the door. When he reached it, he stopped and looked back to the braided boy. Duo was watching him out of the corner of his now almost completely silvery eye. He closed his eyes and turned away and walked to his bed. Once he heard the door close softly behind Heero, he fell to his knees next to his bed and let the warm tears fall.
Heero listened at his door for a moment and heard soft sobs coming from inside. He looked down at the floor and turned to go back to his and Shinigami's room. He went in and closed the door behind him. He got back into bed, settling himself farther from Shinigami. He didn't feel like being with him now. Not while Duo was on his mind.
The Next Night...
After staying in his room all day sleeping, Duo wasn't tired now. He paced around his room restlessly. He opened his balcony doors and felt the rush of warm air flow past him, into his room. He stepped out and gripped the rail.
Suddenly, the tune for El Dorado popped into his head, quickly followed by the words. It was a habit of Duo's to sing whatever song was stuck in his head to get it out. He didn't want that song stuck in his head and it wouldn't go away unless he did sing it. So he did. He launched into song in a low voice. He closed his eyes and tapped his foot to the beat.
Unbeknownst to him, though, just outside his door sat a very concerned Heero. He had noticed how Duo had kept to himself all day in his room, and he was worried that he'd done something. He then heard a murmured tune coming from inside. He listened harder as it turned into a song with what sounded like Japanese words. He crept inside the room silently and listened, standing just to the side of the balcony door. He listened closely to the song Duo was singing softly to himself.
His eyes widened as he realized where he had heard that song. He knew it sounded familiar, but he finally remembered where he had heard it. This was the song that he had heard last week or something. The song made him almost want to cry. But it was so hopeful and optimistic.
He waited until Duo had finished the song before he stepped out onto the balcony. He looked away as Duo whirled around in surprise. He was rather embarrassed for eavesdropping.
Duo stared at Heero with his lips pressed tightly together, afraid to say anything. "How long have you been here?" he finally asked in a hoarse whisper. He was backed up against the rail as though he wanted to just sink into it and disappear.
"Not long... Only long enough to hear that song. It sounded familiar, so I came to listen." Heero still wouldn't raise his eyes to Duo's. He felt bad to be intruding like this.
Duo watched him closely, waiting for something more. He shuddered as Heero finally raised his eerie green eyes to his. "I also wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for last night," Heero said quietly.
"No, it wasn't your fault," Duo spewed quickly. "I didn't mean to just kick you out like that... I just thought..." He swallowed hard and bit his bottom lip. He went no further.
"You just thought what?" Heero asked.
Duo shook his head. "Nothing..." He pushed away from the rail and walked inside past Heero.
Turning and walking after him, Heero said, "No, tell me - What was it you thought last night?"
Duo stretched his arms and sat on his bed. "Fine, but you asked for it." He looked at Heero seriously. "I thought you might not be safe if you had stayed longer than you did." He quirked an eyebrow. "Satisfied?"
Heero looked toward the door and nodded. "I guess so..." He turned back to Duo. "Why wouldn't I have been safe?"
Duo sighed. "Nothing, just... forget I even brought it up." He turned his eyes to the floor.
Heero didn't move. For what seemed like hours, he stood there, watching Duo.
The braided boy finally sighed again and looked up. "Why are you here? Why don't you leave?" he asked.
"Does it bother you that I stay?" Heero asked instead of answering his questions.
"It doesn't bother me," Duo said in a low voice. Heero felt a chill run up his spine when he saw Duo's eyes flash silver. But then again, that look made him feel safe, as well. He couldn't explain it if he tried, but he felt almost comforted when Duo looked at him like that.
"Then why should I go?"
Duo smirked. "You don't want to know." His eyes grew more and more silver with every passing second. His voice grew deeper. "But I would strongly advise that you do leave."
"Why?" Heero asked again.
"Persistant, aren't we?" Duo stood and met Heero's unwavering gaze with his own. "I'm serious, you don't want to know. But should you decide to leave, here's a tip: When my eyes turn completely silver, it'll be too late," he warned.
Heero narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Duo. "What will happen when your eyes turn silver?" he whispered.
Duo turned away from Heero and looked at him out of the corner of his almost completely silver eye. "Nothing good for you." He then flashed a strange grin that definitely put some ideas into Heero's head. Duo saw an almost panicked look cross Heero's face and added, "I won't hurt you, you don't have to worry too much... But be aware that pain does not always come physically."
"What do you mean?" Heero put one foot behind him like he was preparing to turn and flee for his life.
Duo chuckled. "What could happen might... perhaps... mentally traumatize you. Make you feel like you were betrayed or taken advantage of. I don't think there's a need to further elaborate." And with that, he nodded toward the door, idicating that Heero should leave.
"Do you really want me to leave?" he asked.
"You really ask a lot of questions..." Duo said thoughtfully. "But I can't give you a solid answer on that one - It's a kind of yes and no. Yes, I want you to go because I don't want to hurt you. But on the other hand, I don't want you to go, because of my own reasons." He flashed that strange grin again. He was internally hoping to kind of scare Heero off, so he wouldn't do anything to him. But the other side of him - The side that had surfaced now, did not want him to leave. He wanted to hold Heero again, touch him, bring him pleasure again.
Heero gradually leaned on his foot behind him and finally took a full step back, away from Duo. "I don't think there's any reason for me to leave," he lied. "You just seem to want to get rid of me."
Duo cringed and looked down at the floor quickly. "I don't want to get rid of you, but I don't want you hurt. That's the last thing I want."
"Why can't you just tell me directly why I should leave?" Heero demanded. "What are you afraid will happen to me that I can't handle?" His eyes widened considerably as Duo raised his eyes to his again. They were completely silver.
Duo grinned wickedly and in a deep voice, said, "I warned you..."