~Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm in the middle of packing up everything to go home for the summer, and I needed a little breather. So here's chapter du, please review (haha, that rhymed.)

Disclaimer: Again, not so much mine.

"Okay, we better go," Ross announced. They had been sitting around the living room talking and reminiscing. Chandler had, of course, noticed that Monica sat as far away from him as possible. She was on the far end of the couch with Gracie's head in her lap. Grace was fast asleep, as she had been for the past hour. Monica was absentmindedly stroking her hair as they all talked quietly. "We still have to pick up Emma from my parents'. They can't wait to see you guys Mon."

"Are you going to see them?" Chandler asked slightly surprised. Unless things had changed, he couldn't see Monica willingly go to see her parents.

"Lunch tomorrow. They said that they're dying to see Gracie. I talk to them at least twice a week Chandler," she said softly. Then he remembered. He remembered how Monica had gone running back to her mother, and how her mother, for the first time, had been there completely for her daughter.

"Oh."

"Would you like to come?" She asked knowing that he wanted to spend as much time with Gracie as he could.

"No that's okay." He knew that the Geller's didn't blame him for the collapse of the marriage, he knew that there was no one to blame for the collapse of their marriage, but all the same, he'd rather not sit through a lunch with his ex-in-laws. Perhaps because that was what they were. Ex. And he didn't want to think about that.

"Okay. Well, then I'll be by around eleven thirty to pick her up, okay? And then I'll drop her right back off again when we're done."

"Okay," Chandler nodded watching as she shifted slightly and slipped from under Grace without waking her up. She was a natural at the mothering thing. Always had been. "I got her." He stood up and picked Gracie up.

"Can I...um...can I come upstairs and tuck her in?" Monica asked. Chandler was surprised slightly. Grace was still her daughter, and technically, this was still her house. Her name was still on the deed.

"Of course you can," he said.

"I'll be right back," she said to Ross and Rachel who had been unusually quiet during this whole exchange. Monica followed Chandler through the dark house and choked back a sob. Closing her eyes, she reminded herself that she was okay. She was okay. They made it to Grace's room, which Monica noted had not changed a bit. Was the other room unchanged? If she walked in would she find it just the way they had left it? Did Chandler ever go in there? Or was the door shut tightly? Was it filled with dust and pain, when it should have been filled with life and happiness?

"Mommy?" Grace woke up slightly and Monica leaned over and smiled at her.

"Goodnight baby," she said giving her a kiss and tucking her in.

"Goodnight honey," Chandler said also leaning over to give Gracie a kiss. Chandler walked out first, and Monica followed, gently closing the door behind her. When she turned around she found herself inches away from Chandler.

"Sorry," he said stepping out of the way.

"It's okay. I should go. Rachel and Ross are waiting."

"Right."

"So I'll see you tomorrow?" She asked as they began to make their way down the stairs. Ross and Rachel met them in the front hallway and the three left Chandler standing alone in the hallway. He went back upstairs and first checked on Gracie, and then found himself in front of a closed door. A door that he had never thought he would be in front of again. He turned the doorknob just slightly and it gave a loud creak in protest having been closed for so long. He didn't turn on the lights, but walked over to the center and ran his hand over the top of the crib, and then, like always, fell to his knees and cried.



It's a waste of time so I find a way to

Hold you in my dreams

Sometimes, it's all I need

Someday you won't be so far from me

Until that day

You'll be the girl of my dreams



Three years before:

The picnic had been a success and Monica and Chandler tiredly made their way home.

"God, I'm so exhausted," Monica said yawning as they made their way into the house. Chandler had Gracie in his arms, fast asleep. "It was a wonderful day." He smiled, and leaned in and kissed her.

"That it was." He carried Grace up to her bedroom and laid her down gently removing her shoes. Monica came in and finished getting Grace in her pajamas, and tucked in, and they retreated back down to the living room.

"Chandler? Can I tell you something? I've been waiting for the perfect time, but...I just can't keep it to myself anymore," she was suddenly wide awake.

"What's that honey?"

"I'm pregnant again," she said grinning widely.

"What? Oh my God! Monica! That's incredible!" He swept her into his arms and gave her a deep kiss. "How far along?"

"Seven weeks," she said not being able to stop her grin.

"Oh God, Mon. That's amazing." He placed a hand on her stomach and then kissed her again. It was amazing. It seemed that nothing could go wrong with their lives. Their lives were perfect.

And their lives just kept getting more perfect. Monica couldn't wait to start decorating, and after her the start of her third month, the two of them went shopping and bought a crib and other various decorations. Chandler spent the months scouring for a double crib. Towards the end of her third month, he finally found one while shopping with Joey and Ross.

"Look!" He pointed to where there was a display of strollers. "I've been looking all over for one. Monica's going to be so happy."

"What's that for?" Joey asked.

"A double stroller, for Gracie and the new baby."

"Why can't you just have one stroller, and they can take turns? " Joey asked. Chandler rolled his eyes and chose to ignore him.

"There's only one left," Ross pointed out. "Better get it." Chandler grabbed the last one and then hurried to the checkout. He said goodbye to the guys and headed back to his car. He drove back out of the city and excitedly unloaded the car and rushed into the house.

"Mon! I looked everywhere, but I finally found one. A double stroller, I swear, the last one in the city." He heard nothing but silence. Her car was there, wasn't it? He looked back out the window and sure enough, there her car was.

"Monica? Gracie?" He yelled. He heard a soft sobbing from somewhere in the house, and he followed the sound. Walking down the hall, he glanced in and saw Gracie fast asleep taking a nap. Then he walked into the new nursery and he saw a sight that every time he closed his eyes he would see.

Monica sitting on the ground clutching her stomach and sobbing, a pool of blood forming below her.

"Monica! Oh God, Monica, we have to get you to the hospital," he said dropping to the ground.

"It's too late," she said sobbing. Not knowing what to do, he pulled her close to him and kissed her wet cheeks.

"We still have to take you to the hospital," he said softly as she cried into his shoulders. "I'll call Ross to watch Grace." Shaking, he stood to his feet and dialed Ross and Rachel's number. He gently explained the situation and then gathered Monica into his arms and carried her down to t he car, and then came back up and gently lifted Gracie and placed her, still sleeping, into her car seat.

The ride was silent, with the exception of Monica's soft weeping, and he was surprised to find out, his own silent cries.

When they returned home from the hospital that day, Chandler led Monica up to their bedroom and tucked her in. He kissed her forehead and whispered that everything was going to be okay, of course, he didn't know that everything was going to be okay, in fact if he was to hazard a guess he would say that nothing would be okay, and he would be right, but to her, to her he promised that thing would be okay. After she was asleep, thanks to the sleeping pills given to her by the doctor, Chandler walked across the hall and into the nursery that just been filled with all their purchases. He walked over to the crib and ran his hand over it and fell to the floor, his hand over her blood stain and cried his heart out.



Here's to the nights I thought I'd never miss

Smiles taken for granted

And the taste of your last kiss

The gleam in your eyes

as we tried to hold back our goodbyes



Present:

"Good morning Mommy!" Gracie said when Monica came to pick her up the next day.

"Hi Gracie, you ready to go to lunch with Nana and Poppy?" Gracie nodded and ran up the stairs to grab her jacket. Chandler was standing in the hallway, his hands in his pockets. "You sure you don't want to come?" She asked.

"No. Thanks though."

"Okay, well, then I'll have her back in about two hours or so," she said as Gracie came bounding back down the stairs.

"Come with us Daddy," Gracie begged. "Please. Don't you like Nana and Poppy?" Monica had to stifle a laugh, and Chandler's heart lunged. He loved her laugh. He loved that look on her face when she was trying not to laugh. Usually it was at Joey, but Gracie always had that impact on her too.

"No, sweetheart, it's okay. I'll just stay here." Grace turned to her mother with a pouting expression.

"Come on honey," Monica said reaching out her hand. Gracie took it and they left the house and climbed into the rent-a-car that she had gotten figuring she would have to drive in and out of the city a lot on while on their trip there. The drive to her parent's was fairly short and her mother came running out to see Grace.

"Gracie!" She scooped her up in her arms and hugged her tightly. "Oh! You've gotten so big!" Monica laughed at her father came out and first hugged her and then hugged Grace when Judy was done.

"You guys ready to go?" He asked.

"Yep," Gracie replied.

"Chandler didn't want to come?" Judy asked Monica as they walked towards the car. Monica shook her head. "That's a shame. I would have liked to have seen him." Monica was once again reminded, as she was every time she came home, and New York was and always would be home to her, no matter what James said about London, that she wasn't quite sure anymore why she had left. She remembered withdrawing from everyone, including Chandler, but she couldn't remember what the last straw was. What had made her pack up everything and move her and Grace to London? There had been the job offer, but it had been more than that.

"Come on Mommy, you're being a slowpoke." Monica shook her head clear of those thoughts and followed Gracie to the car.

Feels like I'm raining inside

But you're my blue skies

my perfect little lullabies

And when times get rough

all I have to do is try

Hold you in my dreams

~Okay, next chapter will further explain what had went on, that was just a teaser sort of...okay, please review and tell me what you thought! Thanks!~