Chapter 4: At the E.V.A....
Disclaimer: I own none of the evil characters in this story. How sad. : (
Apologies to all for the lateness of the update, but I have been EXTREMELY lazy!
Thanks to:
AAAyekoms: ME TOO! GO SUGAR!!! And did you know you can get a giant Pixie Stix for $.33?? Its yummy!
princessmajora: YAY! YOU LIKE MY STORY!!! Also....Sugarness = Yumminess!
And now........the story!
o0000000000o
Narrator: Hundreds and hundreds of miles away, Ganondorf is at a meeting in the Secret Headquarters of Evil Villains Anonymous.
Voldemort: Welcome, brethren, to the—
Kikyo: A-HEM.
Voldemort: Oh. Right, welcome, brethren and...er...sistren, to the Evil Villains Anonymous. We are gathered here today to repent, repent, REPENT!!!!!! from our old ways of evil-
Barney: What are you, a priest?
Voldemort: SHADDUP!!! =blasts with wand=
Barney: Oh yeah, VERY non-evil. Pshaw!
Voldemort: Errrrrr......Shouldn't you be dead?
Barney: Shouldn't you be non-evil?
Voldemort: Shouldn't YOU be non-evil?
Barney: Ummmmmmmm....ACK! LOGIC HAS DEFEATED ME ONCE AGAIN!!!! =blows up=
Voldemort: Boo ya!!! =break dances=
Everyone besides Voldemort: =coughs=
Voldemort: Wha-a-a-at? Haven't you seen a break dancing wizard before?
Dr. Evil: Oh, we've been to Sauruman's parties....((Ok, I probably didn't spell his name right, oh well. Shut up and read the rest of the story, you weird obsessed perfectionist!!!!!!!!!!! Ahem.))
Voldemort: What?!?! I wasn't invited!!!! =pouts=
Dr. Evil: They weren't that fun anywho...
Voldemort: Oh, okay! Super!
Everyone else: Hehehe....
==FLASHBACK==
Sauruman: AAAAWWWWWWWW right, we're gonna party like its 1999!!!! WOOT WOOT!!!
Everyone: Yay!!
Sauruman: FREE BEERS FOR ALL Y'ALL!!
Everyone: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!
Narrator: Random Beach Boys music turns on and free beer magically appeared in everyone's hands. They were happy about the beer. Very happy. They only liked the Beach Boys music after they had a lot of alcohol, though.....
=The next morning.....=
Dr. Evil: =yawns and stretches on couch= Oy......
Kikyo: =next to him= OWIE!!! You hit me in my eye!!! Meanie!!! =evil glare=
Dr. Evil: 0.o Eep. =notices he has no clothes on except for a DJ hat= Geez, what happened last night??
Sauruman: =is reeeeeaal close to Dr. Evil= Lots of stuff, baby. Lots of stuff.
Dr. Evil: 0.o
==END FLASHBACK==
Voldemort: Ummmm.....Anyway, as I was saying, we know that the heroes always win. ALWAYS. And we are ALWAYS horribly defeated just because we kill a few people or steal the princess or try and take over the world.
Dr. Evil: Here, here!
Sauron: Indubitably!!
Voldemort: Right.....So, we formed the Evil Villains Anonymous for ex- villains who want to win, for once, without doing illegal activities...usually. And now, let us meet our newest member, Ganondorf!
Ganondorf: Thanks, Voldy. Anyway, I'm Ganondorf, but you can just call me Ganon.
Evil Villains Anonymous (Which I from now on will refer to as EVA): Hi Ganon!
Ganondorf: Thanks! Okay, where to begin...I was your standard villain. I tried to take over the world, steal the Triforce, take the princess. Standard stuff. I did this quite often, and would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for that pesky hero, Link. He always beat me up just because I was doing my job; villaining. You all know how annoying THAT can be.
EVA: Uh huh!
Ganondorf: Anywho, the last time Link defeated me, I got turned into stone with this huge sword stuck in my head and left deep in the ocean. I had some time to think about my quote unquote "evil" ways and realized I should change them or never get ahead. So when then these divers brought me back up onto their boat and they took out the sword, I broke out of the stone a new person, never to do anything too evil again. Well, after I gave those divers heart attacks from my "new awakening" thingamajig. Then I joined Evil Villains Anonymous and...now...I....am...here.
Voldemort: Super!! Now, does anyone else have anything else to share?
Lucky Charms Leprechaun (who from now on will be referred to as Lucky.): =stands up= Hi. I'm the Lucky. Lately I've been feeling that those damn kids are still after me lucky charms. So when they're not looking...I spike their drinks with Laxatives. =sits down=
Bowser: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! HE'S GOING BACK TO THE EVIL, EVIL SIDE!!!!!!! ATTACK!!!!! =Bowser-spins Lucky=
Lucky: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! =explodes into Lucky Charms=
Lucky Charms Kids: =appears out of no where= YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!! =eats the former Lucky and vanishes=
Voldemort: Errrr....Bowser? That was pretty mild. In fact.......YOU'VE GONE TO THE EVIL, EVIL SIDE!!!! KILLLLLLLLLLLL!!! ABRA KADABRA! =turns Bowser into a white rabbit=
Rabbit Bowser: =looks at watch= I'M LATE, I'M LATE! FOR A VERY IMPORTANT DATE!!! I'M LATE, I'M LATE!!!!!!!! =hops away=
Voldemort: Riiiiigggghhhhhhhttttt......Okay, Sauruman, you take the floor.
Sauruman: Now, it is time for our annual box social!!! WOOT!
Ganon: YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!! does John Travolta move
Everyone else: 0.o
Ganon: Ummm.....Do the hussle...? Do do do do do do do do do...?
Everyone else: Err...=points behind him=
Ganon: =turns around=
Narrator: Behind Ganon, there was a big swirling vortex. (I wonder who did THAT, eh?)
Ganon: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! =gets sucked into vortex=
Sauruman: ......... LET'S PARTY!!!
Voldemort: Excuse me? One of our own was just sucked into a vortex!!! He deserves a moment of silence!!!
Everyone else: .....
Voldemort: Aww, who am I kidding? IIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSS PARTY TIME!!!
EVA: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY!!!
Narrator: And all of the members had a grand old time at the box social. Woot!
Sauruman: =dances, then notices something= Voldemort....
Voldemort: is drinking vodka straight from the bottle= Yeah, baby?
Sauruman: Is that your hand on my leg???
Voldemort: .... Do you want it to be?
o0000000000o
Narrator: And now we cut off there—
Readers and Voldemort: Awwwwwwwww!
Narrator: -- and we shall continue next time at Link's pad! YAY!!!
Author: Read and review or I shall set Rabbit Bowser on you!!! BWA HA HA!!!
Disclaimer: I own none of the evil characters in this story. How sad. : (
Apologies to all for the lateness of the update, but I have been EXTREMELY lazy!
Thanks to:
AAAyekoms: ME TOO! GO SUGAR!!! And did you know you can get a giant Pixie Stix for $.33?? Its yummy!
princessmajora: YAY! YOU LIKE MY STORY!!! Also....Sugarness = Yumminess!
And now........the story!
o0000000000o
Narrator: Hundreds and hundreds of miles away, Ganondorf is at a meeting in the Secret Headquarters of Evil Villains Anonymous.
Voldemort: Welcome, brethren, to the—
Kikyo: A-HEM.
Voldemort: Oh. Right, welcome, brethren and...er...sistren, to the Evil Villains Anonymous. We are gathered here today to repent, repent, REPENT!!!!!! from our old ways of evil-
Barney: What are you, a priest?
Voldemort: SHADDUP!!! =blasts with wand=
Barney: Oh yeah, VERY non-evil. Pshaw!
Voldemort: Errrrrr......Shouldn't you be dead?
Barney: Shouldn't you be non-evil?
Voldemort: Shouldn't YOU be non-evil?
Barney: Ummmmmmmm....ACK! LOGIC HAS DEFEATED ME ONCE AGAIN!!!! =blows up=
Voldemort: Boo ya!!! =break dances=
Everyone besides Voldemort: =coughs=
Voldemort: Wha-a-a-at? Haven't you seen a break dancing wizard before?
Dr. Evil: Oh, we've been to Sauruman's parties....((Ok, I probably didn't spell his name right, oh well. Shut up and read the rest of the story, you weird obsessed perfectionist!!!!!!!!!!! Ahem.))
Voldemort: What?!?! I wasn't invited!!!! =pouts=
Dr. Evil: They weren't that fun anywho...
Voldemort: Oh, okay! Super!
Everyone else: Hehehe....
==FLASHBACK==
Sauruman: AAAAWWWWWWWW right, we're gonna party like its 1999!!!! WOOT WOOT!!!
Everyone: Yay!!
Sauruman: FREE BEERS FOR ALL Y'ALL!!
Everyone: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!
Narrator: Random Beach Boys music turns on and free beer magically appeared in everyone's hands. They were happy about the beer. Very happy. They only liked the Beach Boys music after they had a lot of alcohol, though.....
=The next morning.....=
Dr. Evil: =yawns and stretches on couch= Oy......
Kikyo: =next to him= OWIE!!! You hit me in my eye!!! Meanie!!! =evil glare=
Dr. Evil: 0.o Eep. =notices he has no clothes on except for a DJ hat= Geez, what happened last night??
Sauruman: =is reeeeeaal close to Dr. Evil= Lots of stuff, baby. Lots of stuff.
Dr. Evil: 0.o
==END FLASHBACK==
Voldemort: Ummmm.....Anyway, as I was saying, we know that the heroes always win. ALWAYS. And we are ALWAYS horribly defeated just because we kill a few people or steal the princess or try and take over the world.
Dr. Evil: Here, here!
Sauron: Indubitably!!
Voldemort: Right.....So, we formed the Evil Villains Anonymous for ex- villains who want to win, for once, without doing illegal activities...usually. And now, let us meet our newest member, Ganondorf!
Ganondorf: Thanks, Voldy. Anyway, I'm Ganondorf, but you can just call me Ganon.
Evil Villains Anonymous (Which I from now on will refer to as EVA): Hi Ganon!
Ganondorf: Thanks! Okay, where to begin...I was your standard villain. I tried to take over the world, steal the Triforce, take the princess. Standard stuff. I did this quite often, and would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for that pesky hero, Link. He always beat me up just because I was doing my job; villaining. You all know how annoying THAT can be.
EVA: Uh huh!
Ganondorf: Anywho, the last time Link defeated me, I got turned into stone with this huge sword stuck in my head and left deep in the ocean. I had some time to think about my quote unquote "evil" ways and realized I should change them or never get ahead. So when then these divers brought me back up onto their boat and they took out the sword, I broke out of the stone a new person, never to do anything too evil again. Well, after I gave those divers heart attacks from my "new awakening" thingamajig. Then I joined Evil Villains Anonymous and...now...I....am...here.
Voldemort: Super!! Now, does anyone else have anything else to share?
Lucky Charms Leprechaun (who from now on will be referred to as Lucky.): =stands up= Hi. I'm the Lucky. Lately I've been feeling that those damn kids are still after me lucky charms. So when they're not looking...I spike their drinks with Laxatives. =sits down=
Bowser: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! HE'S GOING BACK TO THE EVIL, EVIL SIDE!!!!!!! ATTACK!!!!! =Bowser-spins Lucky=
Lucky: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! =explodes into Lucky Charms=
Lucky Charms Kids: =appears out of no where= YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!! =eats the former Lucky and vanishes=
Voldemort: Errrr....Bowser? That was pretty mild. In fact.......YOU'VE GONE TO THE EVIL, EVIL SIDE!!!! KILLLLLLLLLLLL!!! ABRA KADABRA! =turns Bowser into a white rabbit=
Rabbit Bowser: =looks at watch= I'M LATE, I'M LATE! FOR A VERY IMPORTANT DATE!!! I'M LATE, I'M LATE!!!!!!!! =hops away=
Voldemort: Riiiiigggghhhhhhhttttt......Okay, Sauruman, you take the floor.
Sauruman: Now, it is time for our annual box social!!! WOOT!
Ganon: YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!! does John Travolta move
Everyone else: 0.o
Ganon: Ummm.....Do the hussle...? Do do do do do do do do do...?
Everyone else: Err...=points behind him=
Ganon: =turns around=
Narrator: Behind Ganon, there was a big swirling vortex. (I wonder who did THAT, eh?)
Ganon: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! =gets sucked into vortex=
Sauruman: ......... LET'S PARTY!!!
Voldemort: Excuse me? One of our own was just sucked into a vortex!!! He deserves a moment of silence!!!
Everyone else: .....
Voldemort: Aww, who am I kidding? IIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSS PARTY TIME!!!
EVA: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY!!!
Narrator: And all of the members had a grand old time at the box social. Woot!
Sauruman: =dances, then notices something= Voldemort....
Voldemort: is drinking vodka straight from the bottle= Yeah, baby?
Sauruman: Is that your hand on my leg???
Voldemort: .... Do you want it to be?
o0000000000o
Narrator: And now we cut off there—
Readers and Voldemort: Awwwwwwwww!
Narrator: -- and we shall continue next time at Link's pad! YAY!!!
Author: Read and review or I shall set Rabbit Bowser on you!!! BWA HA HA!!!