Vincent's Talk Show
By Xardas
Episode two: 'My son wants to take over the world!'
Vincent: Hi! And welcome to my talk show. I'm Vincent Valentine and for you first time viewers I'm the host and yes, I am a vampire! Beat that Jerry Springer! Today we're meeting Jenova who's son wants to take over the world! Tell me more about that Jenova...
Jenova walks in
Audience: *Clap*
Jenova: Hi! Well, I actually created the world, and my son wants to take over. I told him humans are too civilised and when he came home for tea, he was covered in blood, human blood. He was grounded for a month and he didn't get my trademark triple fudge ice cream for desert.
Audience member 1: Oh my God! That's horrible! Ahhhh! *Runs out of audience*
Vincent: Ok, lets welcome Jenova's son, Sephiroph!
Sephiroph walks in
Audience: Boo!!!
Seph: Shut the f*beep* up!
Jenova: Ow my little Sephy Wephy! All dressed up for T.V. In his black and blood red coat.... Owwww he's so cute!
Vincent: Ok, so how long have you been going on mass rampages?
Seph: Er I started a couple of months ago and like it was good fun, so I tried it again and I was grounded for a month and I didn't get my mum's trademark triple fudge ice cream for desert.
Vincent: Ok, well it's audience question time, yeah you.
Audience member 2: Well, you're like sick.
Vincent: That's not realy a question.
Audience member 2: You know that's not fair! Why does Timmy always get better stuff than me?
Vincent: Er... I'm over here! Next question! Screw that, lets have some traditional talkshow violence and swearing! Sephiroph!
Seph: Yeah?
Vincent: Your mum!
Seph: I'll fucking kick your ass! You mother fucking cock sucker! I'll kill all of you donkey raping penguin shit eaters!
Vincent: Shit can we have the censer on please? Fuck, shit, whore, B*beep*. That's better!
*Throws chair at Seph who's already kicking some public ass*
Vincent: Mother Fo!
*Turns into chaos*
Chaos (REALY deep voice): Mother Fo!
Seph: Before I die, if I do, this isn't my real face.
Chaos: Seriously?
Seph: No I'm just saying to put you off guard now in slow motion I'm gonna impale you with my sword, and I brought my cassette player so I ca play my cool kick ass music too!
Chaos: But If you impale me I wont be able to continue with my show and the guy who writes this will be p-ed off!
Seph: So, he's a dick! (He isn't realy -- That guy who writes it) lock who miny spiling mystakes he is being made, WHAT A DUMBASS!
Chaos: Anywho! We need to roll a D6 for micro wound checks look up the rules on fall back in the codex! *Snort!* (Just getting back
warhammer 40k geek, fucking criticise me! -- Me)
Seph: This hasn't helped! I still want to kill!
*Chaos changes back*
Vincent: Well, sorry it hasn't worked...
Seph: Well the urge has gone now... Thanks!
Vincent: S'ok, lets go snort some coke! Bye!
*Theme tune*
By Xardas
Episode two: 'My son wants to take over the world!'
Vincent: Hi! And welcome to my talk show. I'm Vincent Valentine and for you first time viewers I'm the host and yes, I am a vampire! Beat that Jerry Springer! Today we're meeting Jenova who's son wants to take over the world! Tell me more about that Jenova...
Jenova walks in
Audience: *Clap*
Jenova: Hi! Well, I actually created the world, and my son wants to take over. I told him humans are too civilised and when he came home for tea, he was covered in blood, human blood. He was grounded for a month and he didn't get my trademark triple fudge ice cream for desert.
Audience member 1: Oh my God! That's horrible! Ahhhh! *Runs out of audience*
Vincent: Ok, lets welcome Jenova's son, Sephiroph!
Sephiroph walks in
Audience: Boo!!!
Seph: Shut the f*beep* up!
Jenova: Ow my little Sephy Wephy! All dressed up for T.V. In his black and blood red coat.... Owwww he's so cute!
Vincent: Ok, so how long have you been going on mass rampages?
Seph: Er I started a couple of months ago and like it was good fun, so I tried it again and I was grounded for a month and I didn't get my mum's trademark triple fudge ice cream for desert.
Vincent: Ok, well it's audience question time, yeah you.
Audience member 2: Well, you're like sick.
Vincent: That's not realy a question.
Audience member 2: You know that's not fair! Why does Timmy always get better stuff than me?
Vincent: Er... I'm over here! Next question! Screw that, lets have some traditional talkshow violence and swearing! Sephiroph!
Seph: Yeah?
Vincent: Your mum!
Seph: I'll fucking kick your ass! You mother fucking cock sucker! I'll kill all of you donkey raping penguin shit eaters!
Vincent: Shit can we have the censer on please? Fuck, shit, whore, B*beep*. That's better!
*Throws chair at Seph who's already kicking some public ass*
Vincent: Mother Fo!
*Turns into chaos*
Chaos (REALY deep voice): Mother Fo!
Seph: Before I die, if I do, this isn't my real face.
Chaos: Seriously?
Seph: No I'm just saying to put you off guard now in slow motion I'm gonna impale you with my sword, and I brought my cassette player so I ca play my cool kick ass music too!
Chaos: But If you impale me I wont be able to continue with my show and the guy who writes this will be p-ed off!
Seph: So, he's a dick! (He isn't realy -- That guy who writes it) lock who miny spiling mystakes he is being made, WHAT A DUMBASS!
Chaos: Anywho! We need to roll a D6 for micro wound checks look up the rules on fall back in the codex! *Snort!* (Just getting back
warhammer 40k geek, fucking criticise me! -- Me)
Seph: This hasn't helped! I still want to kill!
*Chaos changes back*
Vincent: Well, sorry it hasn't worked...
Seph: Well the urge has gone now... Thanks!
Vincent: S'ok, lets go snort some coke! Bye!
*Theme tune*