Ahh, half-hour late....rats. Oh well. This is a very jumpy episode, meaning it jumps quickly from one idea to the next, so watch carefully. =^_~= It also carries warnings for slight lime, a psychotic Dorothy, and small-scale childbirth.
Disclaimer: It seems that children everywhere are conning their parents into thinking that a laptop and a cell phone are now required elements of back-to-school shopping. I tried to convince my mother that a matching set of five Gundam pilots were necessary items for back-to-FFN-shopping, but she didn't fall for it. =¬_¬= Darnit, ma...
Suggested Font: Times New Roman~~~~~~~~~~
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Episode Twenty: Animal House "Cats rule, dogs drool." ~Me. =^_^= September 30th, 1901 Heero had an unusually difficult time waking up, probably because he was unusually fatigued from the night before. Dorothy had been almost criminally happy about something, and kept him awake until all hours bringing bottle after bottle of raspberry cordial to her in the den, where she entertained Relena by the fire until they were both falling over drunk. Strange sounds were tickling at the edge of his consciousness as he lay there, but they were no competition compared to the assumption that her Ladyship would be out for the count a lot longer, and so Heero slept in fairly late. After a long, restful snooze, the strange sounds returned, only they were a little bit louder and a lot more numerous. The few brain cells he had that were still functioning were of the impression that it sounded like someone giggling. Heero called forth his will to wake up, and very slowly opened his eyes. "Sh, sh, he's awake!" someone whispered. The voice had a certain Duo-ness to it. As Heero's groggy head cleared and his vision gradually came back into focus, he turned his head and became aware of two extra people in the room besides himself and Duo. The others were Hilde and Quatre, both fighting to hide huge grins and faintly sputtering as they tried unsuccessfully to keep their giggles in check. Duo hushed them again and smiled too-innocently at Heero. "Sleep well? You weren't..." A giggle erupted from Duo's throat and he quickly swallowed it. "...cold or anything, were you?" The other two started snickering again. Heero was too puzzled to glare properly and just stared sleepily at the pair enjoying their little laughing fit. A bit at a time, he became more aware of a strange sense of pressure in the center of his chest. On the cusp of his peripheral vision was a fuzzy white blob. Without warning, the blob meowed. Heero was fully awake instantaneously, and looked straight up into the furry face of Anna-Maria, Dorothy's precious little angel of a pussycat. The others laughed even harder at Heero's dumbfounded expression. "I...hee hee...I'm sorry, Heero," Duo gasped between giggles, dropping to his knees next to the bed, "the door was shut all night, so I dunno how she got in but...darnit, you two looked so cute together, I just had to get these two up here to see it." The cat flicked the tip of her tail in agreement and re-tucked her front paws underneath her, snuggled warmly in the folds of Heero's green pajama top. "He's right, you know," Hilde chimed in, "this is an awfully cute picture! I wouldn't have missed it for the world!" "It was definitely worth four flights of stairs," Quatre added, leaning against Hilde slightly. He was still fairly weak after his poisoning ordeal, but at least he wasn't bedridden anymore. "Hn. Very funny. Now, get her off me, please." Heero didn't have much experience with animals, but he thought the cat was extraordinarily heavy for a ball of white fluff. "Sure, sure," Duo said, snickering. He stood up and reached for the cat, but before his hands got too near her, she flattened her ears against her head and growled. Duo hesitated, wondering what was wrong, then tried again. "C'mon, kitty, fun's over, time to go back downstairs..." His hand barely brushed the cat's fur and she started hissing at him. Duo jumped back with a yelp. "What's her problem!?" "You're just not being forceful enough," Hilde declared, shifting Quatre's weight to the writing desk. "When dealing with animals, you've got to show them who's boss!" She strode forward, grasped Anna-Maria about the middle, and pulled hard. The cat gave a screech and tensed up all four legs at once, startling Hilde enough that she let go immediately. Heero yelped this time, in surprise as well as pain, uttering a long torrent of spiteful-sounding Japanese that probably contained some impressive curses. He winced and glared at the affronting feline. "What's the matter?" "She dug her claws into me, that's what the matter!!" Hilde backed away. "Oh dear..." Anna-Maria brought her front paws back out and kneaded the pajama fabric closest to Heero's throat, and his glare mysteriously vanished. Even though he knew she couldn't do him any life-threatening harm, there was something rather intimidating about having so many sharp, pointy objects so close to his face. Reason told him to simply reach up and throw the fuzzball off him, but he only had to skim the top surface of her coat with his hands and she tensed up again, narrowing her eyes at him and letting out a low, guttural growl wholly intended to be a threat. "Gosh, she really doesn't want to move, does she?" Quatre observed, not sounding the least bit worried. Duo stepped in before Heero could snap at the boy for stating the bleeding obvious. "Okay, let's none of us start panicking. Can we, like...coax her off with some catnip or tunafish or something?" Quatre snapped his fingers, apparently discovering a good idea in the back of his brain. "Somebody go get Trowa! He's good with animals, I bet he can figure out what's bothering her!" "Right!" Duo flew out the door and down the stairs. "Poor thing," Hilde said sadly, "she must be really disturbed about something. Let's try and be quiet so we don't startle her." Quatre nodded. "Don't make eye contact with her either, it might only make her feel worse." Heero frowned. "I'm glad you're both so concerned about upsetting the cat!" he barked from underneath the heavy animal. The others blushed and endeavoured to hide more tittering laughter. Heero was normally a very imposing presence, but being stuck flat on his back with an angry cat sitting on him was most disarming, and his ferocious glares only made the pair more giddy. Two voices and two sets of footsteps came clamouring up the stairs and before long, Duo had returned with Trowa in tow. The stable lad looked a bit rosy-cheeked, as if he'd already burst into laughter upon hearing the news. He stuck his hands in his pockets and looked Heero over with a slight smirk. "So, she doesn't want to get down off you, hm?" he observed. "Oh, she's very adamant about it," Hilde offered, "she's even been hissing and clawing! Watch this!" She reached forward to try and pick the cat up as she did before. "He doesn't need a demonstration!" Heero snapped, not relishing the thought of being clawed again. Hilde jumped back as if Heero had reached out and slapped her. She put her hands on her hips and frowned boldly at him. "Oh, grow up! Anna-Maria can't really hurt you!" "I am trying not to lose my temper, otherwise I may end up hurting her instead," the butler spat through gritted teeth. Duo flung his hands up facing the others. "Okay, everybody chill. Leave him alone." They all took one giant step away from Heero. "Lemmie see if I can find out what's wrong," Trowa said calmly. He crouched down and crept towards Anna-Maria, who pondered him curiously, whiskers twitching briskly. He reached out a hand and let her sniff it, and in turn she let him scratch her behind the ears. Reaching out again with his mind instead, he studied her glossy eyes for awhile until his own eyes widened and he sat back on his heels. "She doesn't want you, Heero, she wants your spot." Heero stared at him as if he'd lost his mind. Nobody spoke until Duo grinned devilishly and piped up, "Hey, it's gotta be a nice warm spot by now, who wouldn't want it?" He received Hilde's elbow sharply between his ribs for the effort. Finally, the butler found his voice. "I don't care. She can have it if she wants, just get her off me peacefully so I can get dressed and go to work. I'm already late." Trowa raised both eyebrows and nodded, focusing on the cat once again. She was licking her left front paw and not paying attention to anything until the boy started staring at her intensely. He projected strong feelings of deference and compliance, exactly what any cat would expect from its human toys. She twitched and looked at him, ears pricked up attentively, then slowly got up and slunk off of Heero's chest to nestle in the covers between him and the wall. Everyone sighed with relief, except Heero, who sprang off the bed, brushing cat hairs off his pajamas and muttering under his breath. While he went to fish his suit out of the wardrobe, the others all huddled around his bed, praising Anna-Maria for being such a good kitty in the end, and patting her head lovingly. Heero stared at the farce for a moment, then rolled his eyes. "You'd better hope she doesn't get too comfy, or you won't have a place to sleep tonight!" Duo chirped at him jokingly. "Hn..." Heero looked at the cat. The cat looked back at him and flicked her tail once or twice. Don't count on it, he thought before leaving to change clothes. **********While parts of the north wing were seldom used, other areas were frequently visited by her Ladyship and the housemaids, creating a fairly regular flow of traffic in, out, and around the rooms where Wufei was working. For the last several days, however, that whole section of the ground floor had been strangely quiet. The interior decorator, in his infinite wisdom, roped off a large chunk of the wing so that no one could get in or out to see his work. Relena questioned this at first, but Wufei convinced her that he needed to be alone with the space in order to bond with it. She believed him. In actuality, he wanted to be left alone to avoid Count Khushrenada, not to mention to snoop around. On his very first day working on the drab little drawing room, Wufei was pleasantly surprised to find that the wall between that room and the modest games room next to it, the wall with the fireplace, was nearly three feet thick and completely hollow. Seeing as how the paint and wallpaper were going to be replaced anyway, he had no qualms about ripping the wall open immediately. The space inside the wall was empty, and more than big enough for Wufei to fit entirely inside. The very next day, he ordered a set of ornately carved mahogany panels, enough to cover the wall on either side of the fireplace. One panel he altered and set on hinges, so that by pressing a secret switch that only he would know about, he could unlock the panel and slip into the secret passage he had created. He performed similar work on the games room so that he could easily travel from one room to the other without anyone outside noticing. On this day, he was putting the finishing touches on the other panels to make sure the one with the secret switch didn't stand out as being different. This should come in extremely handy, he thought smugly. Sooner or later, Treize will be alone in one of these rooms. Then, I'll make use of this passage...sneak in one way, do what's necessary, and go back the way I came. No suspects, no witnesses, no problem. He stood just inside the hidden panel door and practised the arm motion of throwing a swift, silent dagger to see exactly how far he'd have to step out of his hiding place. He envisioned the invisible dagger sailing across the room and hitting its target, preferably in the chest rather than the back, so that the target could see who had vanquished him and know why. Mission complete. Wufei smirked. My mission, at least. Jeffrhyss will be disappointed, but Heero's likely to get the blame, and then I can retire with dignity and a clean service record. He stepped out of the passage into the drawing room, brushed the sawdust off his hands, and patted himself on the back for his ingenuity. **********Dorothy shivered and drew her woolen shawl closer about her shoulders as the crouched behind a hedge in the back garden. The air was downright chilly and it was clouding up fast; England was showing it's true colours at last, and the Baroness was beginning to miss her own little sun-soaked estate on the Italian Riviera. She had decided to try implementing one of Lady Une's more outlandish suggestions for getting her paws on Quatre's money, but she didn't much care for the way the tall boy who kept the horses was constantly hanging around the young heir, making it impossible for her to have a quiet word alone with him. She had to distract the boy first. The girl spotted him, working with the old carpenter, just outside the door to the cellar, several yards from the kitchen door. She had made it as far out as the hedge maze without being seen and looked back one more time before scampering out back to the stables. Entering the main stable which held Relena's two fine coach horses was difficult until Dorothy figured out the door was a 'push' and not a 'pull', but once inside she found the items she had hoped would be there--a generous supply of crisp, dry hay, and at least one large metal bucket. Unfortunately, to do what she had to do, she had to touch them. Dorothy wrinkled her nose when she got a whiff of the horses. Ugh! How awful! Oh, I wish I had some of my own servants here to do this for me! Swallowing her pride while holding her nose, she picked up one of the metal buckets, set it down near the horses, but not too near, and filled it thickly with hay. Next, she took a box of matches out of a hidden pocket in her dress which she had swiped from the kitchen at the same time as fetching an aspirin for her hangover. Lifting the matches while the chef wasn't looking was easy...actually using them was a bit harder. Every time she struck one of the frail wooden sticks against the side of the carton, there was a little puff of smoke and perhaps a spark or two, but nothing more. Confounded things! I must have seen Heero use these a dozen times last week...why won't they work for me!? A kind of weak, burnt odour was drifting around the spot where she stood, from all the failed attempts to light a match, any match. The horses picked up the scent and reacted nervously, snorting and whinnying in their wooden stalls. "Oh, save your breath," Dorothy snapped. Frustrated, she pulled yet another match from the box and gave it another try. **********Bundled up in two extra layers of clothes, Trowa and Arthur glanced up at the clouds periodically as they pulled the wilted remains of some frost-bitten flowers out of a flowerbed. They both had a good sense of London's weather patterns, and dressed appropriately, sensing a storm was on the horizon, but that was the extent of the attention they paid it. There were more pressing problems afoot. "Have ye thought about emmigratin' to Nova Scotia? You an' Quatre?" Arthur suggested as he poked around the weeds in the flowerbed with a hand trowel. Trowa shook his head. "He'll only leave as a last resort, and besides, since I came here illegally in the first place, it'll be that much harder for me to get a legal passport. If he decided to leave the country, I'd have to break the law again to go with him, and he wouldn't want me to do that. If it weren't for--" The boy froze in place and tilted his head slightly. After a few seconds, he looked at Arthur. "Did you hear that?" Arthur stopped working and listened carefully to the autumn breeze. Carried lightly on the wind was a strange sound, a combination of thumps, bangs, and low-pitched, wavering squeals. The noises were terribly familiar and not very happy. "Th' horses!" "I'll go on ahead," Trowa said quickly. He dropped his tools and sprinted away towards the stables. Arthur, not being as agile as he used to be, got up and jogged ploddingly after him. Neither of them had time to notice that Hilde watched them leave from the laundry room window, wondering what could be such an emergency. The brunette maid wove back through the kitchen and stepped outside, instantly rubbing her arms from the cold. Trowa was a speck on the horizon. Gee, I hope nothing's wrong, she thought. Just as she was about to go back inside, she spotted a slim figure wrapped in a woolen shawl, walking slowly towards the house while looking over its shoulder every few steps. The Baroness...I wonder if she knows what's going on. Hilde would have called out to the blonde woman and asked, except that before she had a chance, Dorothy suddenly darted forward and slipped through the door leading to Quatre and Trowa's room. Huh. Maybe he asked her to keep an eye on Quat for a minute. Yeah, that must be it. Hilde shoved her remaining curiosity aside in favour of going back indoors where it was warm. She went back to the laundry room, picked up a stack of linens, and headed for the west stairs, confident that everything was being taken care of. **********Trowa made it to the stable in record time. As he got closer, he started to panic as he saw puffs of thick black smoke billowing out of the wooden building. He threw open the door and was pushed back by a plume of hot smoke that stung his eyes and forced him into a coughing fit. The horses were whinnying loudly, spooked by the sudden appearance of flames and smoke in their peaceful domain. Trowa could feel their fear. Dropping to his hands and knees, he crawled through the stable towards them, finding some breathable air near the dirt floor. He sensed a heat source in the center of the floor and decided the fire must be there, but the hazy atmosphere obscured it. He reached the horses and found they were both alive, but terribly agitated. Dragging himself to a standing position, he grabbed what felt like a heavy blanket and began madly flapping it in front of him, blowing some of the smoke away from his frightened charges. With much effort, he was able to clear enough of the smoke to see the source, a metal bucket with flames jumping about above the rim. While it was still just clear enough to see, he fumbled for a pitchfork, nudged one of its tines under the bucket handle, and lifted it carefully off the ground. He saw that there were no other fires anywhere else in the stable and ran the bucket outside, dropping it on the gravel path leading to the coach house. As Trowa leaned forward with his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath, Arthur jogged up carrying another bucket with drops of water sloshing over the side. He had seen the smoke and made a detour to his cottage for the water, but slowed down and stopped in front of the flaming bucket, staring at it incredulously. "Is that all it was!?" "That's it," Trowa gasped. He sat down on the grass and coughed the rest of the smoke out of his system as Arthur used the contents of the second bucket to extinguish the first. "Bloody daft people!" the Scotsman griped, "must've come o'er th' fence or summat...you'd think they'd 'ave bett'r things to do!" Trowa just sat there, thinking. Somehow, this didn't feel like a random practical joke to him, but he couldn't draw a line between the fire and Quatre's sisters either. It just didn't compute. **********After spending so many days sick in bed, Quatre was desperate for a sense of accomplishment, but he was still too weak for outdoor duties. With a bit of cajoling, he convinced Doris to give him some dusting to do, just to feel useful, but he was assigned the north end of the main floor, and every time he went to a particular room to dust it, he found one of Wufei's rope barricades blocking his path. Eventually, he got tired of not being able to get anything done there either, gave up, and decided to go back to his room to read until lunchtime. He walked very calmly through the kitchen, said hello to Duo, who was just coming back from a supply run to the pantry, and went to his room. Stretching comfortably, he sat cross-legged on his bed facing away from the door. It was then that he heard the door swing shut and a key turn in the lock. **********Balancing her stack of sheets and pillowcases, Hilde climbed the west stairs to the servants' quarters with the care and agility she always displayed. Her regular routine was to stack the fresh linens in the linen closet and see to the rooms themselves. Not long after she was hired, Hilde volunteered to look after Duo and Heero's room, for reasons which she kept strictly to herself. Elsie was more than happy to let her have the extra work, even though it meant Hilde had to clean the housemaids' room as well by default; the girl honestly didn't mind and never complained. Her routine was going exactly as planned until a peculiar sound tickled her ears while she stood in front of the linen closet. There was a tiny squeaking noise coming from the boys' bedroom. Hilde froze. Mice!! she thought instantly. Ice water ran through her veins, and many other young girls would have screamed and flown down the stairs as if the world were coming to an end. Hilde, however, was a ridiculously curious person and had to see for herself. She quietly shut the closet door and crept towards the bedroom, expecting to be bowled over by a stampede of startled mice looking for their next cheese fix. She opened the bedroom door. It wasn't mice. Hilde gasped and ran downstairs as fast as her legs could carry her. **********Quatre cautiously turned around, expecting to see one of his sisters wielding a knife. "Good morning," the visitor cooed pleasantly. It was Baroness Catalonia; not one of his immediate family, but Quatre didn't want to sigh with relief quiet yet. "Feeling better?" The gardener stood on the other side of his bed, strategically keeping at least one piece of furniture between them. What he was sensing from Dorothy wasn't pretty. "Much better, thank you." Dorothy stepped away from the door, turning the dor key over and over in her thin fingers. "I wanted to have a quiet word with you alone, but for some reason the other residents won't leave you alone. This has led me to take extraordinary measures." She tugged the collar of her dress forward and dropped the key down the front of it, lodging it in a place from which Quatre wouldn't dare try to retrieve it. Quatre swallowed. With a predatory smile, Dorothy began prowling towards him. "Uh...begging your pardon, m'lady, but I've been away from the gardens for too long. I really ought to get back to work." He turned and walked briskly to the other door that led outside, but a sharp and fruitless turn of the handle showed that it, too, had been locked. Dorothy said nothing, only clasped her hands behind her back and smiled that evil smile as she skulked closer and closer to the boy. Quatre sidled nervously to the window, but couldn't see Trowa anywhere. He swallowed again, getting the distinct impression that he had been set up. **********Upstairs in one of the fine parlours Relena had decided weren't in need of redecorating, Doris was putting the finishing touches on an arrangement of fresh flowers that had been plucked out of the garden before the frost hit. The gray-haired lady stepped back from the coffee table and smiled at her work. It was nice to have a bit of living colour in the house before winter drained all the warm, beautiful hues from the world. As she admired the vase full of bright blooms, there was a sudden, rapid banging a few rooms away as someone ran down the stairs from the attic at a tremendous speed. Doris thought nothing about it at first, but then heard shouting coming from the general direction of the kitchen. She walked out into the hall and strained to hear it. "What are we supposed to do? Do we boil water, bring clean towels, open all the windows, what!?" "How should I know!? Just do something!!" Within moments, two sets of footsteps came crashing up the stairs and away from the kitchen. Doris almost went back inside the parlour, and would have, if not for the sight of Hilde and Duo looking wild-eyed and running straight toward her. At that precise moment, Elsie was stationed several rooms away, rubbing furniture polish into the sideboard. The polishing cloth, which began its work at a furious pace, started moving slower and slower as Elsie started to hear three voices shouting in the distance. "Oh good heavens! Boil some water! Fetch the clean towels! Open all the windows!" "Somebody's got to go back up there! We need more hands!" "Quick! Who else is hanging around at this hour!?" The voices carried with them a feeling of urgency that clearly suggested that something was wrong. Elsie stood up straight and wrung the polishing cloth in both hands. Slightly worried, she poked her head out into the hall just in time to see Hilde, Duo, and Doris running towards her at full gallop. While that was going on, Bethany was at the top of the grand main staircase, taking her own polishing cloth to the second floor railings. For the last five minutes, she kept hearing the oddest noises coming from downstairs, but so long as nobody was yelling at her, she decided it was none of her concern. She considered running for cover when the voices grew nearer. "Of all bleedin' times for this to 'appen! Ain't animals got no consideration whatsoever!?" "Oh yeah, I'm sure you'll be really inconvenienced!" "It's not her fault, it's just nature, that's all!" "Don't make difficulties, Els, we have to round everyone up!" By then, it was too late to escape. The last thing Bethany saw before the world turned upside down was a delegation consisting of Hilde, Duo, Doris, and Elsie flying up the stairs towards her. **********Trowa and Arthur checked over every bit of the land in a hundred-foot radius around the stable, but found nothing unusual. The fire was out, the culprit was gone, and there seemed to be no further danger, so there was really nothing to be done about it. Arthur took his empty bucket back to the cottage to fetch some cool water for the horses to drink, and Trowa started walking back towards the house; he wished he had the guilty party to show Relena, but she still needed to be told. This just doesn't seem like the work of Quat's family, he thought as he hiked across the back yard. What could possibly be gained by scaring the horses? They could have choked to death, even though whoever did this didn't mean to burn down the stable...I'll have to get the veterinarian in... His train of thought was derailed by the sight of someone jogging through the gardens to meet him. That's Bethany...why is she running out this way? Maybe Relena saw the smoke and sent her to investigate. He kept his walk slow and his composure calm to give the housemaid the truthful impression that there was no longer any cause for alarm. Little did he know that there was a full supply of alarms waiting for him back at the house. **********Dorothy wasn't letting the ruckus upstairs distract her from her mission in the slightest. "What's the matter? Aren't you glad to see me? I thought we were friends..." The emphasis she put on the word 'friends' sent a chill up Quatre's spine. "People are supposed to visit the sick, aren't they? I just wanted to see how you were..." Quatre was still at the window, jiggling the sash to see if he could jump out of it, but no luck. "Well, uh...you've seen me, so you can go back to whatever you were doing." The girl chuckled and walked a little more forcefully towards him. "Oh no, I couldn't leave you here alone, it isn't safe at all! You need someone on guard in case of a mad sister attack, don't you?" She reached the window and started backing him up towards the wall. "How did you find out about that!?" Quatre gasped. "Does it really matter, my sweet?" Dorothy purred. "All you should be concerned with is letting me protect you. You must realize you're not safe here anymore, and Lady Une's offer of employment still stands, in fact she'd take you in for as long as you liked since she found out your very life is in danger!" Quatre backed up straight into the wall and cringed like a frightened animal, prompting Dorothy to lean in close and run a hand through his hair to soothe his nerves. "Don't be so jittery, dearest, I only want to help you." "You want to help yourself," Quatre spat. He had known about her intense greed for some time, and had fearfully wondered what form her insurrection would take. "You and Lady Une are probably in on it together. Go ahead, tell me if I'm wrong!" Dorothy raised an eyebrow, thought, then winked. "You're right...but see it from my point of view. You have a whole army of fiendish relatives after you, and they'll stop at nothing to see you dead. If we protect you, we're working against their interests, and that makes us a target too. Should we really be expected to risk our own lives trying to save yours and get nothing in return?" "That's extortion!!" the boy shouted. Dorothy paused and delicately sniffed the air around Quatre's face, a scant few inches away from hers. "What is that heavenly aroma?" She nudged closer, pressing her belly into his and his back into the wall, and ran a hand up the front of his shirt. "Ahhh, yes...I recognize that scent...I can smell money on you, Quatre, and your sisters can smell it too. It'll lead them right to your front door if you don't get out of here. Do you really want them to win?" The hand wove into his hair and back down the side of his face. Quatre shivered involuntarily. It made him extremely nervous having Dorothy plastered all over him, but he couldn't find the strength to push her away. It had taken all his energy to walk back from the north wing unassisted. "M'lady...please, this isn't--" "Look at me, Quatre," she ordered, grabbing him gently but firmly by the top of his waistcoat, "I am not a woman to be trifled with, and if I intend to have a claim on your fortune, have a claim on it I will!" Before the startled boy could ask how she intended to rewrite his father's will to include her own name, she pulled him roughly away from the wall and back towards his bed. She flung the weakened boy down onto his own mattress and sat on him, straddling his hips and pinning his arms down as he tried vainly to free himself. "What are you doing!? Get off!" he hollered at full volume. Weak though he was, the mild-mannered gardener had quite a set of lungs on him when he needed them most. Dorothy latched onto both of his wrists with only one hand and held them down onto his chest; she was surprisingly strong, given her cushy upbringing. "Even if you do get the money, I know you wouldn't be foolish enough to give it away, so I need a little insurance policy. If you had a son, then he would naturally be the one to inherit your infinite riches should anything...unsavoury happen to you." To Quatre's horror, she started tugging at his belt buckle with her free hand. "First you inherit your father's fortune, then your first son is born, then you meet with an unfortunate accident, Lady Une and I split the winnings, and I go back to Italy a wealthy widow with a bouncing baby boy. Sounds nice, doesn't it?" "You're crazy!" he shouted nervously. "You can make me do...well, you just can't!" Dorothy gave him a crafty smile as she untucked her petticoats from between them, letting her sit very closely and strategically on top of his squirming form. "Can't I? You're a man, aren't you?" She leaned in close and brushed her lips against his throat, pushing her hips into his. Quatre let out a weak little moan as the dizzying sensations shot liquid fire through his bloodstream. "I can make any man do anything I want," Dorothy hissed. Looking genuinely angry for the first time in ages, Quatre growled and tried to wrench his hands out of her strong grip. He freed one hand momentarily and actually took a swing at her, but she subdued him again, then quickly moved on to pulling his shirt out of his waistband. "Quit that! This wouldn't be so difficult if you'd just relax a little!" "NO! You can't make me do this! I won't co-operate! Trowa! Duo! Somebody!!" Dorothy plunged close to his ear and whispered harshly, tightening her grip on his wrists. "If anyone does come, they won't be able to get in, remember? And even if they do manage it somehow, I'll just say that you were trying to force me. I can whip up a batch of tears in about two seconds, and then who are they going to believe?" Quatre cringed, then struggled some more, but his movements only increased the burning hot sensations she inflicted upon him. Horrified, he could feel his own rebellious body betraying him, giving in to the girl's insidious wishes and responding in earnest to her touch. He whimpered faintly, and as soon as Dorothy saw that her actions were starting to take the desired effect, she planted an enticing kiss firmly on his quivering lips, silently coaxing him to relax and enjoy what was to come. Something snapped in the boy at that moment, for his face suddenly turned into a dark mask of hideous anger that nobody was likely to have seen on him before. He stared venomously at his captor and gritted his teeth as she rose a few inches and looked down at him sweetly. "Get....off....NOW." Dorothy scowled. "You miserable little peasant..." A stern rapping came at the window, and Dorothy jumped and twisted around at the waist. Wide-eyed with shock at being caught, she saw Bethany at the window trying to get her attention. "What do you think you're looking at!?" she howled. "M'sorry, yer Ladyship, but it's Anna-Maria!" the maid's muffled voice said through the pane of glass. "She's upstairs 'aving kittens!" The sound of Dorothy's jaw hitting the floor created ripples in the Pacific Ocean around New Zealand. "Come quick!" Bethany continued. "She's 'ad two of 'em already!" The girl either didn't see Quatre's lower half sticking out from under Dorothy's dress or didn't see it as anything to be worried about compared to the kittens. The Baroness let go of Quatre's wrists and climbed clumsily off him in a flash, dragging him off the bed and sending him tumbling to the floor, where he landed flat on his back with a thud. Dorothy unlocked the interior door, dropped the key, and ran out, forgetting all about her original mission. It was suddenly quiet in the room. Quatre had only the intense pain in his back to keep him company, and he laid there, partially-dressed and sweating profusely, staring up at the ceiling as he collected his thoughts. ".....I handled that nicely....." **********Heero could remember having much more productive mornings that this. First he got up late, then he had to bring Relena tonic water and an aspirin, and helping her figure out how to swallow pills had taken up the better part of an hour. He somehow guessed that teaching her to ride a unicycle would have been simpler. Now there was some kind of a ruckus travelling around the house, encompassing at least five or six people who were running about in all directions, up and down from the kitchen to the main floor, up and down the west stairs, shouting and carrying on like the house was burning down. They were all getting on his nerves so badly that he hid in the dining room and went back to polishing the silver even though it had a perfect shine already, just to focus on something and retain his sanity. "There's no more clean towels left!" "I've put a second kettle on!" "Are we supposed to sterilize something!?" Heero resolved to practice his meditation techniques more often, because they weren't working; he couldn't block out the yelling and running around, and at the same time, some tiny part of his brain was hideously curious to know what all the fuss was about. He scowled down at the silverware and practically tried to polish the engraved pattern off. Some distance away, near the front hall, Count Khushrenada was having a similar problem trying to have a conversation on the telephone in the middle of the riot. He had the earpiece of the phone to one ear, and his hand clamped over the other, but every time he made contact with the other end of the line, someone would run past calling out for Miss Dorothy, and he'd lose his concentration. "Yes, I'm sorry, there's some problems at this end," he spoke into the phone. "You may remember doing some work for me some time ago...you do? Good, because I have need of you again. There's a certain young man I want to--" "Miss Dorothy! Where are you!? It's an emergency!!" "Someone call the vet! What if something goes wrong and we can't do anything to help!?" "I found Miss Dorothy! She was down in th' cellar!" Cowering in the sitting room with the curtains closed and her head laid down on the table was Relena, sporting an impressive headache and wondering when the crashes of lightning would stop raging through her skull. All the yelling outside wasn't helping either. She vaguely remembered that it was her house and if something strange was happening, she should be present to witness it, but at the moment she couldn't will herself to drag her sickly figure out of its chair. Finally, however, it got to be too much and she had to get up and at least tell her staff to yell a little more quietly. She staggered out of the chair and padded gently to the door. "I demand that you call the police this instant!! I demand to know whose animal is responsible for this...this travesty! My poor defenceless little Anna-Maria! I want a full investigation! Money is no object! Get Scotland Yard down here right now, and Interpol too, while you're at it! I want justice!!" Treize glared into the phone. "Would you excuse me a moment?" He set the ear piece down and walked towards the back of the house. The last voice was also the last straw for Heero, and he slapped down his work and stormed out into the hall. Relena emerged from the sitting room at that very instant, as did Treize, and without noticing each other, they all fixed a steely gaze at a mob of half a dozen servants, plus Dorothy, standing in the hall squabbling amongst themselves. "What's going on out here!?" the trio yelled in unison. Dorothy looked furious. The housemaids looked a bit blank, but panicky, except for Hilde who started giggling again. Duo giggled with her. Just at the right moment, Trowa came down the stairs and met up with them. "She's just had the third, and there's more on the way," he said breathlessly. Relena winced at the bright sunlight streaming in from all sides and brought a hand to her temple as she walked dizzily towards Trowa. "What is it?" she whispered. "Anna-Maria's having kittens, m'lady." Heero went pale. Relena forgot her headache and squealed with delight, and all the women except Dorothy joined her in bouncing up and down, giggling about the new arrivals. Dorothy eyed them all with distaste, wondering what was so bloody marvellous about her precious angel being violated in such a lower-class manner. The mob moved as one up the stairs to the attic, leaving Heero and Treize alone in the hall looking a bit lost. Treize glanced over at his diminutive nemesis, raised a noncommittal eyebrow, and retreated to the front hall to finish his phone call. Heero felt a bit nauseated all of a sudden. If he'd known this was what the cat wanted his bed for, he wouldn't have given it up so easily. He leaned against the wall, rubbed his eyes, sighed deeply, and went back to the dining room to do some more polishing. He really didn't want to go back to his room just yet. **********Space was at a premium in Duo and Heero's room, and the miraculous event taking place could have been billed as standing room only. The housemaids all gathered in a little cluster at the foot of Heero's bed, while Relena and Dorothy stood near the middle. Relena had an arm around her friend and was patting her hand comfortingly as she lamented of her cat's predicament. "Can you give her something for the pain?" Dorothy sniffled. Trowa rolled his eyes. "She doesn't need anything for the pain. This sort of thing has been happening to cats for thousands of years, all without the aid of anaesthesia," he said dryly. He was crouched beside the bed, exactly where he had been before, wondering how he could have missed something so obvious about Anna-Maria's condition. He could only imagine the fierce glares he'd be receiving from a certain butler for weeks to come on account of that little screw-up. He stood up. "Alright, there's really no need for everyone to be in here, so go find something else to do until it's over. If you stand there staring at her, you'll only make her nervous." The housemaids groaned, but left obediently; in actuality, the cat looked quite content, but Trowa was the resident animal expert, so his word was law. Dorothy also looked like she wanted to leave, moaning about how she couldn't stand watching her baby in such agony anymore, so Relena took her downstairs to wait for the final kitten count. That left Duo, who had been sitting on his own bed the entire time, thinking. "So what happens now?" he asked. Trowa shrugged. "They'll nurse for awhile, then they'll start crawling, then walking and playing, then they can be adopted." "No no, I mean what happens tonight?" The stable boy took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Well, there's no way Heero can stay here tonight, or for the next few weeks. They shouldn't be moved unless absolutely necessary, so he'll have to find somewhere else to crash." Duo thought for a bit. "Uh huh." "Is there another room up here somewhere?" "....oh, don't worry about it!" Duo reassured him, "I'll get him fixed up, no problem." He smiled. Trowa stared at him with his arms folded. "Uh huh." Duo stared back. "What're you looking at me like that for? Go on, get back to your patient!" Shaking his head with a sigh, Trowa turned back to the bed and observed Anna-Maria's progress. She was nuzzling and licking her kittens, which seemed to be very energetic; they wiggled around and hid under the sheets so much that he had a hard time telling if there were six of them or seven. As soon as I'm sure they're alright, I'll have to get Quatre up here. He'd love to see this. He looked up. "...Quatre..." Realizing he'd left the boy alone for a long time after he'd promised not to, he suddenly felt the urge to rush downstairs. "Look after them for a sec, will you?" he asked the chef. Duo nodded, and the taller boy left in rather a hurry. **********Treize made a point of wrapping up his phone call as quickly as possible before someone he didn't want overhearing snuck up behind him without being noticed. Especially since the phone call was about the exact person who might have snuck up behind him without being noticed. "I need him taken care of, quickly and quietly. I want to send an unmistakable message to his employer. Meet me in front of the Parliament buildings and we'll discuss the details." That was the extent of the conversation. Afterwards, he went back up to his private study to think. Even though the room was adorned with reminders of Lord Peacecraft's ghostly presence, most of the household had come to think of the room as belonging to Treize now, and didn't dispute his right to treat it as his own. He sat in his usual chair, lit one of Lord Peacecraft's fine cigars, and entranced himself in deep thought. What a pity you'll soon be leaving us, Mr. Yuy. Relena will be most disappointed, but I'm sure she'll recover in the fullness of time. **********The second half of the day wasn't nearly as exciting as the first. Quatre tidied himself up and, after seeing the kittens and fawning over them excitedly, went back out into the garden to bring some semblance of order back into his life. He was waiting for the right moment to tell Trowa what almost happened to him in their room, as was Trowa waiting for the right moment to tell Quatre what almost happened to the horses. They acted as if nothing was wrong because for the time being, that's exactly how they needed it to be. Dorothy called the police, but they refused to send an officer out for such a trivial matter. After calling the desk clerk every name under the sun, she stomped out into the street, grabbed the first wandering constable she saw, dragged him inside and forced him to take down the details of Anna-Maria's misfortune. He was a surprisingly good sport about it. As for Heero, at the end of the day he found himself standing beside his bed, looking down at his new family. He was there for a full ten minutes before Anna-Maria acknowledged his presence, and even then she only favoured him with a self-satisfied stare. You got what you wanted, he thought. As if reading his mind, the cat licked her chops in response. "Aren't they cute?" Heero turned to see Duo standing in the doorway, already in his black pajamas, rebraiding his hair. The butler shrugged. "They're just animals." "Yeah, but they're cute widdle itty bitty baby animals!" Duo brushed past him and crouched by the bed, running a finger over the tiny head of one of the kittens. "Look, they're all different colours too! I wonder who the daddy cat was...see, there's a white one, and a caramel one with white splotches, and a brown one...look at this charcoal one! It knows I'm here!" The chef grinned as a charcoal-grey kitten mewed and sniffed Duo's hand eagerly. Heero suppressed a sigh and went to the tiny window. Raindrops were pounding against the glass in the darkness, and it matched his mood perfectly. He was still wearing his suit, evidence that there was still a serious issue to be resolved. "So, have you thought about where you're going to sleep tonight?" Duo asked, not looking up from the kittens. It seemed that Anna-Maria wasn't the only mind-reader in the room. "Not really." Heero had deliberately avoided mentioning to Relena that he had nowhere to lay his head for fear that she might invite him into her own room; naturally he would have refused, but just being asked would have been uncomfortable. Also, since she hadn't offered him one of the guest rooms in the interim, he assumed that it never clicked in the girl's head that having a new family of cats in one's bed meant that one couldn't use it. Duo kept looking down at the tiny felines, worried that if he looked up at Heero instead while making his next suggestion, he'd turn red in the face like one of Quatre's prize roses. "You know if you're stuck.....you can always.....uh...." He coughed a few times and cleared his throat, unaware that Heero was now staring at the side of his face, which was indeed a little darker than before. "What I mean is, I don't want you to have to sleep on the floor, I'd feel terrible if you.....well....heh." He swallowed. "You can bunk up with me if you want. Room to spare..." There. I said it. Prepare to be rendered unconscious by a flying kick to the head. Five, four, three, two... Silence. Mustering a mountain of courage, Duo looked up and saw that Heero didn't look insulted or angry, just....blank. Well? Don't just do something, stand there! he thought sarcastically. Heero shrugged again, slowly. "I suppose I'd better." Resigned to the situation, he fetched his own nightclothes out of the chest of drawers and left the room to change, like always. Duo blinked, looked back and forth between the door and his bed, checked his own pulse, and grinned. Saying a quick goodnight to the kittens, he hopped into bed and scooted well over to the side nearest the wall, leaving plenty of room for his guest, and settled in to appear as though he was already quite close to sleep. A minute later, Heero returned, took one last look at the pack of wild intruders, turned out the lantern, and dutifully took his place on the unoccupied side of the bed. As he saw it, life was a war, the manor was the army, and he would do as he was told by the quartermaster. Now wasn't the time to be picky about one's accommodations. They spoke not a word to each other that night. Heero was asleep almost instantly, and as soon as Duo was sure that his friend was well and truly out, he propped himself up on one elbow and just looked at him for awhile. A tiny amount of moonlight made it through the rainstorm into their room, enough that he could make out the boy's features. He might have stayed that way for an hour or more, he couldn't be sure...but eventually sleep caught up with him as well, and when it did, it was the warmest, most comforting sleep he had ever enjoyed, the first through which he wasn't alone. Sometime during the night, though, an even odder thing took place. Heero awoke for no reason at all and couldn't get back to sleep. Shifting position didn't help, meditation didn't help, he was wide awake and couldn't understand why. The truly odd thing occurred when he propped himself up on one elbow and stared at Duo--he couldn't fathom why he did it then, and wouldn't be able to fathom it for a long time to come, but after looking the sleeping boy over for a little while, he nestled back down next to his friend in a phenominally relaxed state, and was lulled back to sleep easily. On the other side of the room, Anna-Maria and her kittens slept just as peacefully. |
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Next, in Episode Twenty-One: Treize wants to send a message to Heero's master, but this time the messenger is a professional and won't be easily scared. Quatre become tired of being so weak, and resolves to better himself for his own benefit, as well as Trowa's, while Duo and Heero adjust to having guests in their room.
Relena got drunk! AHAHAHAHA!!...oh wait, we missed it. Darn. I'll get her drunk again someday, I promise. A lot happened here today, and it's going to have long-lasting effects, so be watching out in the coming weeks! Next episode will be out on October 9th! =^_^=