I slipped out of my shallow stage of sleep when an arm slipped around my waist. I opened my eyes and looked at John sleepily. He smiled at me and pulled himself closer. I squirmed a little; John tightened his grip around my waist.
"What are you thinking?" I whispered, as I wrapped my top arm around his shoulders.
"That I may never let you go back to the Institute," he returned, rubbing my back a little. "You don't know how good it is to come home and find you asleep in my bed. I could get used to this."
I buried my head in his shoulder, "That would be nice."
John ghosted his fingers over the back of my neck. "Yeah, but I would never let you near Magneto. Nothing good ever comes from him and he'd figured out that you were staying with us."
"I wish I could get you out of this mess," I whispered, looking into his bright eyes.
John traced my cheekbone with his fingertip, "This isn't your concern, kid. I just want you to stay safe and away from Magneto."
"But what hurts you hurts me, John."
John snorted and traced his fingers over one of my lesser bruises. I shuddered a little. John leaned forward and kissed the bruise lightly. I ran my hands through his hair absently. He looked into my eyes, "You still look tired."
I gave him a sheepish smile, "I didn't get much sleep."
John just nodded and rolled me over on my back. I paused, but the room kept spinning. I leaned over the side of the bed and managed to puke in the trashcan again. I blinked heavily and rolled back onto my back. John hovered over me, concern written all over his face. I shot him a reassuring look and a small smile. John straddled my hips carefully. "When did that start?"
I avoided his eyes. "Same time as the nightmares."
"Aw, man, I knew they were gonna start this time you went to sleep. I shouldn't have gone to Vermont."
"You had to."
"No, you needed me here. I just knew they were starting."
"How?"
"When we talked about it, we stirred up some memories, so it makes sense that they'd start now."
"Oh."
John reached out and lifted my head up. I looked at him. "Are you all right?"
"I'm getting there." I leaned up for a kiss.
"Nuh-uh. I'm not kissing that mouth until you wash out."
I sighed dramatically. "You're so cruel."
John just smirked and slid down my body. I watched him lift up the shirt I had on. He glanced at me before running his lips over my stomach. "Are you having problems down here?"
I shuddered a little but shook my head. "Actually I think I'm motion sick."
"Oh?" He slid back up to my head.
I grinned, "Yeah."
"Problems with your head. That's typical for you." John ran his lips over my forehead. I hit his forearm lightly. John just smiled and grabbed my left hand. He sat up and placed a delicate kiss in the center of my palm. I looked into his eyes and smiled again. John knew what would get me in the mood and used the knowledge shamelessly. I cupped the side of his face with my other hand.
"You better let me brush my teeth before things go any farther," I whispered.
"And find a cure for this motion sickness." John climbed off me and helped me sit up. I let him lead me to the bathroom. He gave me a spare toothbrush and set off to find some medicine. Apparently, they had large supplies of every medicine. I don't know why, but they did. John gave me some pills just as I finished using his mouthwash. I took them; then I turned to John and kissed him.
"I missed you," I whispered as he pulled back.
"You can't go a few hours without me here, but at the Institute, you go weeks without seeing me?"
"Haven't we all ready caught on to the fact that I don't make any sense?" I kissed him again, lighter this time. He cupped the side of my face gently and returned with his passion.
He pulled back, "Let's go into the living room."
I just nodded and let him lead me to the couch. I tried to watch our surroundings so that the movements wouldn't catch my brain off guard. I settled on a cushion as John sat down at the other end.
"We need to talk."
I looked toward him but avoided eye contact. Talks scared me. Talks usually led to my falling apart inside or John's getting guilty for scaring me with a talk. Nothing good ever came out of a talk.
"About what?" I stammered out.
"Don't panic on me, kid," he soothed. "I just want to hear about this nightmare."
"Why?" The harsh question came out more as a whimper.
John bent over to look at my face. "Because I know it'll help."
I drew in a ragged breath. "John. . ."
"Just talk to me, kid," he pleaded. I stayed quiet, not knowing what to say. "Come on, Berto. Don't you trust me?"
"More than anyone else," came my automated response.
"That's not an answer."
I paused in frustration. How could John do this to me? How the hell? He knew I didn't trust easily. He knew I'd been burned and abandoned too many times to just take someone into my life. . . but then again, this is John. I knew my answer. "Would I be here if I didn't?"
John's face broke with a small smile, "That's right, so tell me about this nightmare"- I looked up at him and slid closer- "and I'm not going to touch you until you start talking, kid."
"But-"
"I know what I'm doing," he assured me. "Believe me, I've had my share of remedying nightmares for Remy."
I faltered and sighed, "Fine! It- it starts with my getting jumped in the alley. . . again. The FOHs surround me in a tight, inescapable circle. Then they're punching me, kicking me, and beating me into a bloody pulp."
I paused and tried to fight down the memories of both the nightmare and the real experience. John pulled me against him and started petting me soothingly. "Then what happened?"
I rested my head on his shoulder. "You show up and try to save me."
That doesn't seem so bad," he smirked as he pulled me onto his lap.
I ignored his comment, too far gone to really hear it. "Then I spot Magneto in the distance. He makes you leave and I'm alone being beat up. You- you just left me to fight against dozen of assailants." I felt tears well up in my eyes and tucked my head under his chin as they spilled over.
John just ran his hand up and down my spine calmingly. "Listen, Roberto. We both know that I do have to leave when Magneto calls, but I won't leave you alone or in danger. I'll always come back for you, OK? I'm here for you, kid."
I silently sobbed, not caring anymore. John rocked us slowly until I was calmer- and everyone thought I was the responsible one.
"You promise?"
"If you promise me something first."
I looked up at him, curious and slightly angry. John kissed away one of my rolling tears. I drew in some air, "What?"
"Promise me... " He paused and took a deep, shaky breath. "Promise me that if Magneto ever finds out about this, our relationship that you'll run away and never try to find me again."
"WHAT?" I exploded, jumping to my feet. Dizziness overwhelmed my senses and I fell to the floor.
"Please, Roberto. He'll use me to get to you." There was obvious pain in his voice. "I can't bare to see you working for him and once he has a hold on you, even Xavier won't be able to save you."
"I can't leave you," I whispered in a broken voice, one I hadn't heard in such a long time. More tears slipped from my eyes.
"Then I'll have to leave you now and we'll never have this problem," he whispered, excruciatingly.
"No! I- you- dammit John." I was openly sobbing now.
"Just promise to leave if Magneto finds out about us, OK?"
"I- I promise."
TBC