Vincent's Talk Show
By Xardas
At your funeral
Fade in
Vicar: Today we morn the death of Vincent Valentine. It is a sad day to those who have loved....
Camera on Yuffie who holds her hands about 12" apart looking in the direction of Tifa. With tears in thier eyes.
Vicar: .....and lost. Please rise.
Enter the Pallbearers, Cloud, Cid, Barret and Cait Sith.
Cloud: Vincent certainly put on a lot of weight!
Barret: Your just a pussy, your just a sack'o'bones under those metal plates of yours.
Vicar: Tifa Lockheart would like to share a few words with us....
Tifa: Thank you, *ahem* Vincent was a kind man, he always looked out for us a bit and helped us in our conquest to save the world. He would always give good head in times of doubt.
Yuffie & Cloud: Hey!
Tifa: And I knew that anal sex with him would always be there for me... in the closet, on the bed, under the bed, over a balcony, in the shower, on the sofa and on the kitchen floor were many of the places we would go together on a sexual venture. I will miss Vincent and Master V..... *sob* thats what he called his cock... whenever it was in my mouth he would say, 'Master V loves that!'...Thank you....
Vicar: Okay....... Moving on now..... If Cloud could....
Cloud shakes his, now blushing, head
Vicar: Okay Cid Highwind?
Cid: One sec....
Cid seems to be doing something behind the pew
Cid: Oh yeah....
Cid limps up next to the vicar
Cid: Vincent.... oh I can't do this, ooohhh sweet jesus.....
Vicar: Ok.... lets just get him burried? Yeah....
The coffin is lowered down into the ground
Vincent: Wait!
Vincent has appeared to have run out from the church to the graveyard
Vincent: I am alive! I was never liquidated! I just peed my pants and ran off when the camera was filming that woman who had popped out her dress....
Everyone: Yey!
Vincent: And I still have a contract so I will be back on replacing that new porn show!
Cid: Nooooo!!!
Yuffie: Oh Vincent!
Tifa: Get off him bitch he's mine!
Yuffie: No he likes my pussy he think yours lacks a true minge quality that I have!
Tifa: Ha! I may be shaven but he loves by 30FF's!
Yuffie: Shove it sister!
Yuffie pushes Tifa out the way and starts un-doing Vincents pants
Tifa: Stay away from Master V!
Tifa kicks Yuffie in the face and pulls out 'Master V'
Vincent: No! I was hoping to tell you but.... I'm going out with that pornstar Annika Swellingmuff! Huge titties and pubes.... The best of both worlds.
Vincent does up his pants up and walks up
Tifa and Yuffie are on the floor startled
The group around the grave are gobsmacked
Cait Sith has fallen into the grave
And Cid has his back to the camera making the same noises he was 20 minutes ago.
****
Thanks to Josh who convinced me to get the series going again. Yes there will be another six episodes of VTS!
By Xardas
At your funeral
Fade in
Vicar: Today we morn the death of Vincent Valentine. It is a sad day to those who have loved....
Camera on Yuffie who holds her hands about 12" apart looking in the direction of Tifa. With tears in thier eyes.
Vicar: .....and lost. Please rise.
Enter the Pallbearers, Cloud, Cid, Barret and Cait Sith.
Cloud: Vincent certainly put on a lot of weight!
Barret: Your just a pussy, your just a sack'o'bones under those metal plates of yours.
Vicar: Tifa Lockheart would like to share a few words with us....
Tifa: Thank you, *ahem* Vincent was a kind man, he always looked out for us a bit and helped us in our conquest to save the world. He would always give good head in times of doubt.
Yuffie & Cloud: Hey!
Tifa: And I knew that anal sex with him would always be there for me... in the closet, on the bed, under the bed, over a balcony, in the shower, on the sofa and on the kitchen floor were many of the places we would go together on a sexual venture. I will miss Vincent and Master V..... *sob* thats what he called his cock... whenever it was in my mouth he would say, 'Master V loves that!'...Thank you....
Vicar: Okay....... Moving on now..... If Cloud could....
Cloud shakes his, now blushing, head
Vicar: Okay Cid Highwind?
Cid: One sec....
Cid seems to be doing something behind the pew
Cid: Oh yeah....
Cid limps up next to the vicar
Cid: Vincent.... oh I can't do this, ooohhh sweet jesus.....
Vicar: Ok.... lets just get him burried? Yeah....
The coffin is lowered down into the ground
Vincent: Wait!
Vincent has appeared to have run out from the church to the graveyard
Vincent: I am alive! I was never liquidated! I just peed my pants and ran off when the camera was filming that woman who had popped out her dress....
Everyone: Yey!
Vincent: And I still have a contract so I will be back on replacing that new porn show!
Cid: Nooooo!!!
Yuffie: Oh Vincent!
Tifa: Get off him bitch he's mine!
Yuffie: No he likes my pussy he think yours lacks a true minge quality that I have!
Tifa: Ha! I may be shaven but he loves by 30FF's!
Yuffie: Shove it sister!
Yuffie pushes Tifa out the way and starts un-doing Vincents pants
Tifa: Stay away from Master V!
Tifa kicks Yuffie in the face and pulls out 'Master V'
Vincent: No! I was hoping to tell you but.... I'm going out with that pornstar Annika Swellingmuff! Huge titties and pubes.... The best of both worlds.
Vincent does up his pants up and walks up
Tifa and Yuffie are on the floor startled
The group around the grave are gobsmacked
Cait Sith has fallen into the grave
And Cid has his back to the camera making the same noises he was 20 minutes ago.
****
Thanks to Josh who convinced me to get the series going again. Yes there will be another six episodes of VTS!