Pre-story Author Note: Howdo my fellow geeks, nerds and retards! Your eyes
are currently aiming in the direction of your Personal Computer, or work
computer (or a laptop which you stole) and are following the text of
Vincents Talk Show (just some crap I type because I have no life), Series
2.
The talk show is to be written on a monthly basis (posted on the first saturday of every month) so that I can alienate more people! Ha! Ha! Ha! Hail comrade Stalin! Enjoy!
------ Vincent's Talk Show
By Xardas
Episode ten: 'To save the world, even she needs your help' Warning: this episode contains material, even you, may find offensive....
Vincent: Hi welcome to the first of my second series of talk shows. I am Vincent Valentine and, no, despite the rumors I am not six months pregnant!
This couple are to be broke apart by an evil force but are endlessly kept together by love. Let's welcome our first guests on tonight's show, all the way from a different world, not Newcastle, Tidus and Lady Yuna!
It now apears that the stage has a green and blue flashy, lighty, thingy. It is just in front of the curtains, so they can walk on stage and look like they've warped when actualy they just needed a 5 hour flight.
Enter Tidus and Yuna
Yuna: Hi!
Tidus (his eyes are for some reason just pure white, white with no colour whatsoever): It, was, dream, I dream, was you? Its too cold, too cold, cold, too cold, too warm, warm, cold, warm, cold, heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.
Vincent: Okay.... calm it blondie.... Yuna could you tell me what this is about?
Yuna: Well, we have been together for....
Tidus: ITSSOVERYCOLDITSSCARYWEAREALLDREAMJUSTWAKEFROMYOURSLEEPYDREAMILOIKEDREAMSIGE TAFUZZYFEALINGINMYSTOMACHWHENIHAVEADREAMSOMETIMESIWAKEUPINAPUDDLEOFMYOWNPEE
Vincent: What the fuck! What is... Why is he doing that?
Yuna: Well he found out that he is just a hallucination created by the Fayth and the....
Vincent: Oh no you don't! No, no! The guy who writes the scripts just cannot be assed writing all that out, and paying monkeys just doesn't makes ratings drop.... I'd sound like blondie here.
Yuna: Well I love him and thats all that matters.
Vincent: Can we get this cock some medication or some medical help?
Tidus is dragged of kicking and screaming by the VTS heavies....
Yuna: He may be freaky but I don't mind nine inches of freakyness!
Vincent: Ha!
Yuna: Why is that funny?
Vincent: Lets just get to why you are here... Why ARE you here?
Yuna: My world is in danger.....
Vincent: Enough of your dramatism get to the point!
Yuna: And I must save it.....
Vincent: What else is new?!?! It happened to us! Is always the end of the world with squaresoft isn't it?
Yuna: Ok... Your starting to sound like Tidus... Hee!
Vincent: Who the fek is Tidus?
Yuna: The guy who came on with me but was taken of because he was acting strange.
Vincent: Oh yeah, blondie... any way enough about him, lets talk about you....
Vincent moves closer to sit next to Yuna
Vincent: Your not like Yuffie.... you don't have a beard. You don't compete with Tifa on the chest, but lets face it, I'd still do you.......
Yuna: Huh?
Vincent: Come on I know you long for me!
Vincent takes a dive to Yuna
Yuna: Ah!!!
Yuna makes a run for it, but Vincent grabs hold of Yuna's yellow ribbon, holding every thing that covers her ahem upper body.
Yuna: Oh no!
Yuna is running through set with nothing covering her breasts but her hands. Camera follows on and so does Vincent. All the men stop to see if they can 'catch a glimpse'. Vincent dives on her and pins her to the ground. The camera blanks off. The camera we now see is that of what the audience see. Nothing just heavy breathing...
Yuna: Ah my knees!
Vincent: You like that?
Yuna: It hurts my knees but its actually the best I've had!
Vincent: Groan Oh yeah....
Yuna: Actualy come to think of it, its the first I've had!
Vincent: Oh yeah, crap, your bleeding....
Theme tune
---
Suggestions welcome just post 'em on the end of your review. Chow!
The talk show is to be written on a monthly basis (posted on the first saturday of every month) so that I can alienate more people! Ha! Ha! Ha! Hail comrade Stalin! Enjoy!
------ Vincent's Talk Show
By Xardas
Episode ten: 'To save the world, even she needs your help' Warning: this episode contains material, even you, may find offensive....
Vincent: Hi welcome to the first of my second series of talk shows. I am Vincent Valentine and, no, despite the rumors I am not six months pregnant!
This couple are to be broke apart by an evil force but are endlessly kept together by love. Let's welcome our first guests on tonight's show, all the way from a different world, not Newcastle, Tidus and Lady Yuna!
It now apears that the stage has a green and blue flashy, lighty, thingy. It is just in front of the curtains, so they can walk on stage and look like they've warped when actualy they just needed a 5 hour flight.
Enter Tidus and Yuna
Yuna: Hi!
Tidus (his eyes are for some reason just pure white, white with no colour whatsoever): It, was, dream, I dream, was you? Its too cold, too cold, cold, too cold, too warm, warm, cold, warm, cold, heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.
Vincent: Okay.... calm it blondie.... Yuna could you tell me what this is about?
Yuna: Well, we have been together for....
Tidus: ITSSOVERYCOLDITSSCARYWEAREALLDREAMJUSTWAKEFROMYOURSLEEPYDREAMILOIKEDREAMSIGE TAFUZZYFEALINGINMYSTOMACHWHENIHAVEADREAMSOMETIMESIWAKEUPINAPUDDLEOFMYOWNPEE
Vincent: What the fuck! What is... Why is he doing that?
Yuna: Well he found out that he is just a hallucination created by the Fayth and the....
Vincent: Oh no you don't! No, no! The guy who writes the scripts just cannot be assed writing all that out, and paying monkeys just doesn't makes ratings drop.... I'd sound like blondie here.
Yuna: Well I love him and thats all that matters.
Vincent: Can we get this cock some medication or some medical help?
Tidus is dragged of kicking and screaming by the VTS heavies....
Yuna: He may be freaky but I don't mind nine inches of freakyness!
Vincent: Ha!
Yuna: Why is that funny?
Vincent: Lets just get to why you are here... Why ARE you here?
Yuna: My world is in danger.....
Vincent: Enough of your dramatism get to the point!
Yuna: And I must save it.....
Vincent: What else is new?!?! It happened to us! Is always the end of the world with squaresoft isn't it?
Yuna: Ok... Your starting to sound like Tidus... Hee!
Vincent: Who the fek is Tidus?
Yuna: The guy who came on with me but was taken of because he was acting strange.
Vincent: Oh yeah, blondie... any way enough about him, lets talk about you....
Vincent moves closer to sit next to Yuna
Vincent: Your not like Yuffie.... you don't have a beard. You don't compete with Tifa on the chest, but lets face it, I'd still do you.......
Yuna: Huh?
Vincent: Come on I know you long for me!
Vincent takes a dive to Yuna
Yuna: Ah!!!
Yuna makes a run for it, but Vincent grabs hold of Yuna's yellow ribbon, holding every thing that covers her ahem upper body.
Yuna: Oh no!
Yuna is running through set with nothing covering her breasts but her hands. Camera follows on and so does Vincent. All the men stop to see if they can 'catch a glimpse'. Vincent dives on her and pins her to the ground. The camera blanks off. The camera we now see is that of what the audience see. Nothing just heavy breathing...
Yuna: Ah my knees!
Vincent: You like that?
Yuna: It hurts my knees but its actually the best I've had!
Vincent: Groan Oh yeah....
Yuna: Actualy come to think of it, its the first I've had!
Vincent: Oh yeah, crap, your bleeding....
Theme tune
---
Suggestions welcome just post 'em on the end of your review. Chow!