100 Goats – Chapter 2
Hey everyone! As promised, here is the somewhat longer chapter two. Thank you all so much for the lovely reviews. Hope this chapter doesn't disappoint!
0-0-0
"Colonel O'Neill, would you care to explain to me why 100 goats accompanied you through the Stargate and why two fine officers of this facility have been left on Allia?"
Jack squirmed a bit in his chair at the debriefing table.
"Well, you see, sir... Daniel just tells the story so much better than me, sir."
Daniel threw Jack a withering glance.
"Dr. Jackson, would you care to enlighten me?"
"Ahh, well, it all started when...
0-0-0
They sat around the large bonfire with the Allians. So far, so good. The Allians seemed peaceful enough. They were mostly an agrarian culture priding themselves on the size of their flocks and the yield of their harvest. They had a different language which made communication difficult, but Daniel was piecing together some words.
One of the men seemed particularly interested in talking with Colonel O'Neill.
"Uh, Jack, he wants to know why we've made contact with them. What we want from them."
"We want to be allies," he told the man.
"Allians?" asked the man excitedly.
"No, allies."
"Allians."
"Allies."
"Allians."
"Ach! Daniel, explain to him what allies means."
"Oh, um well, friends," he motioned between them. "People who trust each other, protect each other, share, trade..."
He would have gone on, but the man began nodding emphatically as though he understood. Then he babbled a few more words in his language and nodded as though he wanted Jack to agree with him.
"Oh, okay then, nodding is good I guess," the Colonel nodded back with a slight smile.
This only seemed to excite the man more. He picked up a bowl of food from beside the fire and held it out to Jack.
"Ah, no thanks. I had a big lunch."
Still he held it out.
"Abera."
"No really, I don't want any."
"Donto."
"Look, if brown sludge is your think then you eat it," he said, pushing away the man's outstretched arms.
"Pentito," the man said finally with a look of desperation.
"All right, all right, eesh. Guy can't take no for an answer."
Gingerly taking the bowl from the man's hands, he pushed his index finger into the bowl and stuck it in his mouth. The man looked at him expectantly.
"You know, that's really not so bad. Very good. Thanks," he assured the man with a big smile and another fingerfull.
The Allian grinned in pleasure, then ran off.
"Wonder where he's off to in such a hurry."
"I don't know. I think he said something about taking care of his livestock."
"Ahh."
0-0-0
"I don't understand," said the General looking at each of the three men. "What does Colonel O'Neill's partaking of a meal have to do with Major Carter and Doctor Frasier?"
"Well, you see, General, from what I understand, when the Allian heard me say trade, he thought we wanted to trade right then and there. Obviously, eating the food meant an agreement of trade. I guess at first he offered a smaller amount of goats, and then, as Jack kept refusing the food, he offered more."
"What did you give them in return?"
0-0-0
"Hey, Sam," Janet said with a grunt as she lowered the hoe once more into the dirt. "How long do you think it'll take the guys to get us out of here?"
"I don't know. Daniel will probably want to find a diplomatic solution, since it was the Colonel's mistake after all. And since they know we're not in any danger..."
"There's not too much of a rush."
"Exactly. Although you'd think they'd be a little more eager to get their leading astrophysicist and Chief Medical Officer back."
"Tell me about it. People could be dead and dying, but where am I? Churning cow – and I use the term cow lightly – butter and digging for potatoes. And these clothes! I can't believe we have to do all this work in a dress. What's next? Cooking?"
Sam laughed.
"For the sake of the farmer and his wife, I hope not!"
"Beeta! Beeta!" the woman screeched at them from the doorstep of the house.
"Beeta! Beeta!"
"I think this time she means 'less talk, more work'," Sam determined.
"Well, I think if I hear her say 'Beeta, beeta' one more time, I'm going to 'beeta' her in the batooshka!"
0-0-0
"Colonel O'Neill, I repeat, what did you give them in return?"
"Sir, have you seen my goats anywhere? I haven't seen them in a while."
"Colonel!"
"First, sir, let me make it perfectly clear, I had no idea what I was doing. I thought he was just giving me food and..."
"Colonel O'Neill!"
"We gave them Carter and the Doc." He said it all in a rush bracing himself for the General's wrath.
Silence.
Jack cracked one eye open.
"Sir?"
"I don't know what to say. I have absolutely no idea what to say!"
"Uh look, General, you don't need to worry about a thing. We'll get them back. Danny here will figure out a diplomatic solution, and then we can still be friends with the Allians. They're really nice people, sir. And their brown sludge is to die for."
"What about Major Carter and Doctor Frasier?"
"Oh, sir, you don't have to worry about a thing. They were bought by a nice farmer and his wife. They just wanted some help on their farm. A little manual labour for a couple days. It'll do them good. I think it'll be a nice little vacation for them. We'll figure a way to get them back, they'll be all refreshed from their break, we get to trade with the Allians, everybody's happy! In fact, they'll probably thank me."
0-0-0
"First, I'm going to take him by the hair. Then I'm going to tie him to a chair. Then I'm going to call Anise and tell her the Colonel would like to spend some quality time with her. Then I'll lock him in a teeny tiny room and blare techo-babble over the speakers and watch him go absolutely, completely, thoroughly insane!"
With each threat, Sam stuffed another handful of purple goop into the large four winged bird in front of her.
"Just you wait, Jack O'Neill. Just you wait!"
Janet was making her own threats toward a certain Colonel with each kneed of the bread dough.
"First, I'm going to put him in a straight jacket. Then I'm 'accidentally' going to douse him with itching powder. Then I'm going pull out my really big needles. Oh, he thought last visit's needles were big. Well, let me tell you, he was wrong. Way wrong!"
0-0-0
You like? More coming soon!