A page of Saul's diary, recording what I think might have happened before he became mad and abandoned God.

This is my very first fanfic, please read and review! Any constructive criticism is welcome & much appreciated :) Any flame will be quietly tucked away for my own future use! :P
Enjoy!

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Usually, people wake up from a nightmare, only to feel immense relief because they know whatever was horribly terrifying was only a dream. Strange, I had a nightmare last night where I woke up drenched in cold sweat, with petrifying fear clutching my mind, even after my head had cleared.

The nightmare itself was uneventful: I was walking in an old building, searching; then I found It. I could feel the strong diabolic power calling to me from behind a closed door. I wanted it, I wanted to enter that room and be embraced, surrounded, and saturated by that Power, for I knew my heart was already one with it.

Then a little voice whispered, "Saul, turn right back and walk away. NOW." It took every last bit of my willpower and two full-grown guards to drag me away, so much was my longing to be in that room. The air turned unbearably dense and every step was exhausting me terribly. All this while, Pure Evil was still calling my name, attracting me like a rotten corpse attracts flies, and basically made my already-strenuous escape all the more difficult.

The reason why I woke up screaming was not because of my fear for evil, but because of the fact that I was searching and longing for the devil itself. This does not look good. Over the years, my dreams went from standing up for God to disowning Him to searching for diabolic powers. That says something about my spiritual state. Oh, woe to me!!

Date unknown