Chapter 16
The morning after is always awkward. You lay bare before someone, blinded by need, caught up in the moment and afterwards logic takes hold of you. Logic and embarrassment and all of the stupid rules and conditions society has imposed. Ryan understood that, but it still hurt that Anna couldn't meet his eyes.
They were so intimate he and Anna, and Summer too. Not in the traditional sexual sense, but emotionally. They had held each other and cried, which in some strange way is more of an act of trust than sex is.
So Ryan understood why Anna was talking to the floor and not to him. He had been uncomfortable talking to her after he called her to cry, this was no different. But it hurt, being so suddenly shut off from her.
"Anna," Ryan interrupted her babbling. He grasped her chin and forced it upwards, Anna steadfastly continued to watch the ground. "Look at me."
She sighed. After a long moment she met his eyes. Anna bit her lip, clearly uncomfortable.
"Hi,"
"Better now?" Ryan asked with a smile.
"Better post-spazzy late night call or better post-awkward conversation?" Anna inquired.
"Yes or no, Anna?" Ryan pressed.
"Better. Yes," Anna answered. "Sorry, it's just..."
"I get it. I seem to recall an incident not long ago involving you grabbing onto me and forcing me to drag you around until I stopped and talked," Ryan reminded his friend who was so much more. Anna laughed out loud.
"I forgot about that!"
"Am I missing something fun?" Summer joined her friends. Ryan and Anna exchanged a look.
"I had a bad night," Anna explained.
"It's always awkward after that," Summer nodded her understanding.
"Yeah. We were just getting un-awkward," Ryan explained.
"'Kay." Summer turned to Anna, "What happened to make last night so hard?"
"I..." Anna bit her lip. The dream would only upset Summer, Anna didn't want to be responsible for causing her friend anymore pain. Summer misinterpreted Anna's hesitation.
"Now's not the time or place," Summer hugged her friend, "you can tell me about it later."
"I will," Anna assured her friend. She would tell Summer about the dream many, many years from now when pain and Seth have become distant memories. Anna met Ryan's eyes. He understood. The faulty connection between them was repaired by a single moment of eye contact.
The morning after is always awkward. You lay bare before someone, blinded by need, caught up in the moment and afterwards logic takes hold of you. Logic and embarrassment and all of the stupid rules and conditions society has imposed. Ryan understood that, but it still hurt that Anna couldn't meet his eyes.
They were so intimate he and Anna, and Summer too. Not in the traditional sexual sense, but emotionally. They had held each other and cried, which in some strange way is more of an act of trust than sex is.
So Ryan understood why Anna was talking to the floor and not to him. He had been uncomfortable talking to her after he called her to cry, this was no different. But it hurt, being so suddenly shut off from her.
"Anna," Ryan interrupted her babbling. He grasped her chin and forced it upwards, Anna steadfastly continued to watch the ground. "Look at me."
She sighed. After a long moment she met his eyes. Anna bit her lip, clearly uncomfortable.
"Hi,"
"Better now?" Ryan asked with a smile.
"Better post-spazzy late night call or better post-awkward conversation?" Anna inquired.
"Yes or no, Anna?" Ryan pressed.
"Better. Yes," Anna answered. "Sorry, it's just..."
"I get it. I seem to recall an incident not long ago involving you grabbing onto me and forcing me to drag you around until I stopped and talked," Ryan reminded his friend who was so much more. Anna laughed out loud.
"I forgot about that!"
"Am I missing something fun?" Summer joined her friends. Ryan and Anna exchanged a look.
"I had a bad night," Anna explained.
"It's always awkward after that," Summer nodded her understanding.
"Yeah. We were just getting un-awkward," Ryan explained.
"'Kay." Summer turned to Anna, "What happened to make last night so hard?"
"I..." Anna bit her lip. The dream would only upset Summer, Anna didn't want to be responsible for causing her friend anymore pain. Summer misinterpreted Anna's hesitation.
"Now's not the time or place," Summer hugged her friend, "you can tell me about it later."
"I will," Anna assured her friend. She would tell Summer about the dream many, many years from now when pain and Seth have become distant memories. Anna met Ryan's eyes. He understood. The faulty connection between them was repaired by a single moment of eye contact.