A/N: Augh, stupid me! Even though this takes place in the middle of the
school year, in the first chapter I put down their discussion that, in
OotP, takes place after their O.W.L.s, at the end of the year. Please
forgive the discrepancies.
A/N: Professor Trelawney tells me I'm going to cut back on the language a
little bit from here at least until Chapter Five.
Disclaimer: No matter how much I wish I did, I don't own any of the
characters in this story except Carol, Dolph (the name Dolph belongs to
Matt Groening) and Remus' family. J.K. Rowling owns all the characters in
their entireties.
Two
Transformations
ONE MONTH LATER
"Remus, wake up, we're going to be late for Potions!"
Remus slowly opened his eyes and they adjusted to the light filling the Gryffindor dormitory. Sirius was bent over his bed, wearing an expression of mild concern. "Come on!"
"Hmm...yeah...comin'," said Remus groggily as he swung his legs around to the side of his four-poster. He was still wearing his daytime robes, having collapsed onto his bed last night after spending half the night scrawling Professor Halberg's homework. The assignment was insanely complex, just like all of Halberg's essays.
Halberg was the Potions professor, and he was hideously strict. He subtracted enormous amounts of points at a whim and handed out detentions like candy. Since he was not the head of any house, he showed no favoritism.
When Sirius and Remus showed up three minutes late for class, he subtracted fifteen house points each (so late in the race, too, Remus thought disappointedly) and yelled at them to take their seats. That class was one of their most difficult, concocting Babbling Beverage under Halberg's watchful eye, ready to give failing grades to anyone who screwed up in the slightest.
It turned out that Remus added too much essence of murtlap, and received a 'P' (for Poor) on the assignment, the second worst grade. When they were finally dismissed, James, Sirius, and Remus joined together in bashing Halberg with glee.
"Babbling Beverage? Come on, when the hell are we going to need that!" Sirius said.
"The slimy git sounds like he's hooked on Babbling Beverage, with all his bullshit about 'valuable skills that you will treasure in your adult life.'" James remarked, and the three of them laughed hysterically, until they met up with Peter with a group of his fellow Hufflepuffs just finished with Herbology. Peter was wearing an extremely severe frown, and they all asked what was wrong.
"We get our midterm results in Herbology today," said Peter. "I got an 'A.'"
"Well, that's not so bad, is it?" Sirius said quickly. "'A' is for acceptable."
"I've gotten an awful lot of 'A's this year, and nothing higher!" Peter said in a panicky tone. "My parents will bloody kill me!" No one responded to this immediately because of its severity; to Peter, even 'bloody' was an extremely strong word.
"You'll be all right, I think," said Remus with a reassuring smile. "We always get high marks in Charms and Defense Against the Dark Arts, and those results haven't come back yet."
Peter opened his mouth to say something, and James immediately cut in: "You'll be alright. Don't worry about it. By the way, it's your time of the month tonight, Remus."
It took awhile for everyone except Remus to stop their laughter from this remark.
"Yeah," said Sirius with a hint of a grin. "Time for our little monthly adventure."
Remus' smile had disappeared. He had been trying not to think about the full moon that night and the unbearable transformation waiting for him again...
"We should be ready a little earlier this time, I think," said Sirius. "We almost lost him last time. Don't you think, Remus?"
"Yeah," said Remus distractedly. Fixed on changing the subject, he followed that up with. "So, what class have we got this afternoon again?"
The four of them were about to head out for the night with James in the lead when, remarking over his shoulder to the other three, James slammed into someone in the entrance hall, and their books flew everywhere.
"Watch where you're going, Potter!" yelled a deep, throaty voice. It was Andrew Dolph, a Slytherin in their year. No one had ever liked Dolph, but he didn't receive the kind of abuse Snape did, perhaps because he not only looked less greasy, but he could take care of himself much better than Snape. He was almost as good a Quidditch player as James was, actually.
"Aww, shut it, Dolph," James said casually as he reorganized Dolph's books with a flick of his wand. "There ya go. Don't go yelling at me again, or I'll have to hex you."
"Where are you all going at this hour of night?" Dolph asked.
"Keep your nose in your own business," Sirius said sharply.
Dolph shrugged. "Okay, man, only you look awfully suspicious. Someone'll think you're up to something, huh?" With a devilish grin, he disappeared into the corridor to the dungeons.
"Slimy asshole," said Sirius.
"Come on, almost sunset, come on, come on, come on!" said Peter urgently. Privately, Remus agreed with him, but kept his mouth shut because, true to form, James said something along the lines of "Jesus, don't wet yourself, Peter!" and he turned an incredible shade of magenta.
The four of them disappeared from the entrance hall with the sun setting in front of them.
When they had gone, a solitary figure cautiously crept in the direction they had left in. It was Dolph.
The four prepared for that evening's exploits the same way they prepared every month. First they headed for the Whomping Willow, the enormous tree planted in front of the school that could and nearly always would swing its branches at intruders. Peter would change into a rat and slip in between the branches to press the knot in the tree's gnarled roots that would temporarily freeze the branches. Then Sirius and James, in dog and stag forms, would escort the still-human Remus into the tunnel at the base of the tree.
The tunnel led directly to an abandoned shack in Hogsmeade. Remus was safe and isolated there, and James and Sirius could tend to him without fear of a bystander getting bitten.
Peter scurried into the room just as the moon rose over the horizon. The transformation began, and the grim spectacle that it carried with it was about to unfold.
Dolph followed Remus through the tunnel beneath the Whomping Willow without an idea where James and Sirius went--after all, no fifth-year could possibly master a transformation spell complex enough to replace them with the dog and stag he had seen escorting Remus. He removed his wand from his pocket and muttered, "Lumos." The tip of the wand began to glow, illuminating the tunnel. It was almost at an end.
He heard snarling at the other end. The dog? Perhaps it had attacked Lupin! He crept ever so slowly and cautiously to the other end. When he reached the end, he couldn't see what was going on, so he scampered into the shadows and began to watch intently.
Remus was never exactly sure about the science of a werewolf transformation, but he knew this: it was incredibly painful. The skeletal structure of a wolf's was very different than that of a human, and Remus felt a sensation almost as if the bones were liquefying in their places and taking new shapes. The new shapes of the bones almost stretched the skin to the breaking point as it changed into a wolf's hide. Remus felt sharp prickling sensations all over as brand new hairs sprouted all over his body and matured in an instant. His robes were frayed and torn by the writhing shape of the new animal. His gums were stretched to accommodate canine fangs before they transformed, too; when he screamed, a noise halfway between a yell and a coyote's howl came out. The human fingernails pressed inward horribly on the wolf's skin before they changed into the terrifying claws. When it finished, the resulting monster often had no energy but to lie on the ground, ignoring its companions until it could summon the strength to fight.
Such was not the case this time, though. The wolf immediately leapt to its paws and snarled at the dog and stag. Having a sense of pattern recognition, it knew the rat was there, but it deemed it inconsequential in comparison to the larger prey.
So the fight began. The werewolf charged, teeth bared; the dog stepped aside and the wolf's momentum carried it into the wall. Overwhelmed by the pain of running into the wall, Remus tried to communicate to the wolf, don't let it do that again, it's a trick, see?
The wolf's mind gave what Remus recognized as an affirmative, more or less, and began again.
Dolph surveyed this with a mixture of terror and glee; he was scared he'd be spotted, but he had found out the mystery of Lupin's regular disappearances, and they'd had the most wonderfully shocking solution: the bastard was a werewolf! A werewolf of all things! Dolph figured they hadn't had a half-breed at Hogwarts in a long long while. His intense hatred of the foursome that called themselves the Marauders intensified tenfold. They'd allowed a half-breed into their ranks! Repulsive...
Dolph watched as the wolf was knocked across the room kitty-corner to him and as the stag and the dog (Potter and Black, he was sure of it) both turned to regard it, Dolph saw his chance. He sprinted back into the tunnel and never looked back.
He reached the other side quickly, but he'd forgotten the Whomping Willow: when he emerged, one of its branches nearly missed braining him and hit the ground a few inches behind him, and a second branch cleared the top of his head by less than an inch. He dove to the side and rolled while three more branches swung about him like demented arms. He got to his feet and sprinted out of the willow's range, and one final swing came so close to his back that he could feel his robes blown by the resulting wind.
When he reached relative safety, Dolph considered his situation. He was outside the castle in the middle of the night, and he knew the doors were enchanted so that teachers would know whether students went in or out. He figure his best bet would be to wait until the doors opened for the morning, then sneak in during breakfast. Yes, that's what he would do.
Immediately his thoughts went back to the events at the end of the tunnel. It was obvious Lupin was a werewolf; he'd seen the transformation. But what about Potter and Black? Were there such things as were-dogs and were-stags? He didn't think so. Maybe they were Animagi--no, Potter and Black were obviously very talented wizards but NO under-age wizard was that good. Maybe the animals weren't Potter and Black after all...
Dolph's only other dilemma was what to do with this information. Did he spread it around immediately, or blackmail Lupin? Did the staff know he was a werewolf? Maybe he should go to Dumbledore...he didn't know him that well, but the new headmaster would probably be delighted to get his hands on this information.
His head filled with these thoughts, Dolph crept into the castle's shadow, waiting eagerly for the dawn.
When Sirius and James had it cornered, the wolf's eyes seemed to go elsewhere for a moment. Then it leapt--not at either of them but between them, launching itself at the opening that lead to the Whomping Willow and the Hogwarts grounds. Caught off guard, Sirius only just managed to tackle it before it escaped to someplace where it could do much more damage.
Both of them were puzzled by this strange behavior, and both of them knew quite well that werewolves were more of a danger to humans than to other creatures. Had there been a person in here? The implications of that were terrifying...
When dawn broke, all five of those who had been on the grounds that night got into the castle safely.
James and Sirius told Peter and Remus about the possibility of having been spied on. Not much worried James, but this appeared to affect him quite deeply.
"The wolf in me definitely sensed something," Remus told them. "I'm not sure what, but it sensed something."
"Do you think that means--" Peter started. He seemed the most deeply bothered of all, which was usually the case.
"I don't know what it means," Remus told him. "But it's worrisome, whatever it is. I suppose if anyone knows, we'll find out soon enough." He said this last sentence with a sort of grimace on his face.
"I've been thinking of talking to Carol about it," Remus said with a nod towards the Ravenclaw table. "Do you think that's a good idea?"
"Depends, mate," Sirius told him. "I know you'd trust Carol as a confidant, but that's a hell of a secret to keep."
"Think it's a bad idea," James said. "We should keep this between the four of us."
"Yeah," said Peter. "We don't know who we can trust."
"I'd trust Carol with my life, Peter," Remus said with a silencing look.
"I still don't like it," James told him. "But I guess it's your choice."
"I'll talk with her after breakfast," Remus said. "I suppose I'll have to decide over the course of the conversation."
As the hall emptied, Remus walked over to the Ravenclaw table and found Carol chattering away with Lily. "Hi, Carol, Lily," he said brightly. After checking to see if James was accompanying him, Lily said "Hi, Remus," politely. For all her evident hatred of James Potter, the only thing that Lily really had against Remus was his association with James.
Carol evidently could tell from Remus' expression that he wanted to talk privately, because she told Lily that she'd see her in Transfiguration and ended her conversation with Lily.
"What's the matter?" she said immediately. Was it that obvious he was upset?
Remus debated with himself for a moment over this. Did he really want to tell her? He definitely considered her trustworthy...but Carol pretty much shared everything with Lily, and did he want Lily knowing? Would she keep it from Lily if he asked her to?
"Remus?" she said. "Remus, what's wrong?"
You're going to tell her, he thought to himself. You're going to tell her right now, just swallow your pride and your misgivings and say it. But he couldn't bring himself to say it. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out.
"Remus? Remus??" she said with a hint of panic.
"It's nothing," he heard himself say. Dammit. "Sorry to worry you."
You bloody coward, he told himself. You couldn't tell this girl, who you trust as much as James or Sirius or Peter, because you have too much pride, or you're too afraid, or both...
"Are you sure?" she asked skeptically.
"Yeah, I'm sure," he said. "C'mon, we're going to be late for Charms."
Laying awake in his four-poster that night, Remus cursed himself for not telling Carol while he had the chance. He made a pact with himself that he would have to take her someplace outside the castle, maybe someplace in Hogsmeade, and give her the same talk he gave the other three such a long while ago.
He lay awake for awhile and he heard the soft pitter-patter of rain on the window. Perfect, he thought to himself. More grief. He listened to the quickening rhythm of the rain and let it lull him to sleep.
Two
Transformations
ONE MONTH LATER
"Remus, wake up, we're going to be late for Potions!"
Remus slowly opened his eyes and they adjusted to the light filling the Gryffindor dormitory. Sirius was bent over his bed, wearing an expression of mild concern. "Come on!"
"Hmm...yeah...comin'," said Remus groggily as he swung his legs around to the side of his four-poster. He was still wearing his daytime robes, having collapsed onto his bed last night after spending half the night scrawling Professor Halberg's homework. The assignment was insanely complex, just like all of Halberg's essays.
Halberg was the Potions professor, and he was hideously strict. He subtracted enormous amounts of points at a whim and handed out detentions like candy. Since he was not the head of any house, he showed no favoritism.
When Sirius and Remus showed up three minutes late for class, he subtracted fifteen house points each (so late in the race, too, Remus thought disappointedly) and yelled at them to take their seats. That class was one of their most difficult, concocting Babbling Beverage under Halberg's watchful eye, ready to give failing grades to anyone who screwed up in the slightest.
It turned out that Remus added too much essence of murtlap, and received a 'P' (for Poor) on the assignment, the second worst grade. When they were finally dismissed, James, Sirius, and Remus joined together in bashing Halberg with glee.
"Babbling Beverage? Come on, when the hell are we going to need that!" Sirius said.
"The slimy git sounds like he's hooked on Babbling Beverage, with all his bullshit about 'valuable skills that you will treasure in your adult life.'" James remarked, and the three of them laughed hysterically, until they met up with Peter with a group of his fellow Hufflepuffs just finished with Herbology. Peter was wearing an extremely severe frown, and they all asked what was wrong.
"We get our midterm results in Herbology today," said Peter. "I got an 'A.'"
"Well, that's not so bad, is it?" Sirius said quickly. "'A' is for acceptable."
"I've gotten an awful lot of 'A's this year, and nothing higher!" Peter said in a panicky tone. "My parents will bloody kill me!" No one responded to this immediately because of its severity; to Peter, even 'bloody' was an extremely strong word.
"You'll be all right, I think," said Remus with a reassuring smile. "We always get high marks in Charms and Defense Against the Dark Arts, and those results haven't come back yet."
Peter opened his mouth to say something, and James immediately cut in: "You'll be alright. Don't worry about it. By the way, it's your time of the month tonight, Remus."
It took awhile for everyone except Remus to stop their laughter from this remark.
"Yeah," said Sirius with a hint of a grin. "Time for our little monthly adventure."
Remus' smile had disappeared. He had been trying not to think about the full moon that night and the unbearable transformation waiting for him again...
"We should be ready a little earlier this time, I think," said Sirius. "We almost lost him last time. Don't you think, Remus?"
"Yeah," said Remus distractedly. Fixed on changing the subject, he followed that up with. "So, what class have we got this afternoon again?"
The four of them were about to head out for the night with James in the lead when, remarking over his shoulder to the other three, James slammed into someone in the entrance hall, and their books flew everywhere.
"Watch where you're going, Potter!" yelled a deep, throaty voice. It was Andrew Dolph, a Slytherin in their year. No one had ever liked Dolph, but he didn't receive the kind of abuse Snape did, perhaps because he not only looked less greasy, but he could take care of himself much better than Snape. He was almost as good a Quidditch player as James was, actually.
"Aww, shut it, Dolph," James said casually as he reorganized Dolph's books with a flick of his wand. "There ya go. Don't go yelling at me again, or I'll have to hex you."
"Where are you all going at this hour of night?" Dolph asked.
"Keep your nose in your own business," Sirius said sharply.
Dolph shrugged. "Okay, man, only you look awfully suspicious. Someone'll think you're up to something, huh?" With a devilish grin, he disappeared into the corridor to the dungeons.
"Slimy asshole," said Sirius.
"Come on, almost sunset, come on, come on, come on!" said Peter urgently. Privately, Remus agreed with him, but kept his mouth shut because, true to form, James said something along the lines of "Jesus, don't wet yourself, Peter!" and he turned an incredible shade of magenta.
The four of them disappeared from the entrance hall with the sun setting in front of them.
When they had gone, a solitary figure cautiously crept in the direction they had left in. It was Dolph.
The four prepared for that evening's exploits the same way they prepared every month. First they headed for the Whomping Willow, the enormous tree planted in front of the school that could and nearly always would swing its branches at intruders. Peter would change into a rat and slip in between the branches to press the knot in the tree's gnarled roots that would temporarily freeze the branches. Then Sirius and James, in dog and stag forms, would escort the still-human Remus into the tunnel at the base of the tree.
The tunnel led directly to an abandoned shack in Hogsmeade. Remus was safe and isolated there, and James and Sirius could tend to him without fear of a bystander getting bitten.
Peter scurried into the room just as the moon rose over the horizon. The transformation began, and the grim spectacle that it carried with it was about to unfold.
Dolph followed Remus through the tunnel beneath the Whomping Willow without an idea where James and Sirius went--after all, no fifth-year could possibly master a transformation spell complex enough to replace them with the dog and stag he had seen escorting Remus. He removed his wand from his pocket and muttered, "Lumos." The tip of the wand began to glow, illuminating the tunnel. It was almost at an end.
He heard snarling at the other end. The dog? Perhaps it had attacked Lupin! He crept ever so slowly and cautiously to the other end. When he reached the end, he couldn't see what was going on, so he scampered into the shadows and began to watch intently.
Remus was never exactly sure about the science of a werewolf transformation, but he knew this: it was incredibly painful. The skeletal structure of a wolf's was very different than that of a human, and Remus felt a sensation almost as if the bones were liquefying in their places and taking new shapes. The new shapes of the bones almost stretched the skin to the breaking point as it changed into a wolf's hide. Remus felt sharp prickling sensations all over as brand new hairs sprouted all over his body and matured in an instant. His robes were frayed and torn by the writhing shape of the new animal. His gums were stretched to accommodate canine fangs before they transformed, too; when he screamed, a noise halfway between a yell and a coyote's howl came out. The human fingernails pressed inward horribly on the wolf's skin before they changed into the terrifying claws. When it finished, the resulting monster often had no energy but to lie on the ground, ignoring its companions until it could summon the strength to fight.
Such was not the case this time, though. The wolf immediately leapt to its paws and snarled at the dog and stag. Having a sense of pattern recognition, it knew the rat was there, but it deemed it inconsequential in comparison to the larger prey.
So the fight began. The werewolf charged, teeth bared; the dog stepped aside and the wolf's momentum carried it into the wall. Overwhelmed by the pain of running into the wall, Remus tried to communicate to the wolf, don't let it do that again, it's a trick, see?
The wolf's mind gave what Remus recognized as an affirmative, more or less, and began again.
Dolph surveyed this with a mixture of terror and glee; he was scared he'd be spotted, but he had found out the mystery of Lupin's regular disappearances, and they'd had the most wonderfully shocking solution: the bastard was a werewolf! A werewolf of all things! Dolph figured they hadn't had a half-breed at Hogwarts in a long long while. His intense hatred of the foursome that called themselves the Marauders intensified tenfold. They'd allowed a half-breed into their ranks! Repulsive...
Dolph watched as the wolf was knocked across the room kitty-corner to him and as the stag and the dog (Potter and Black, he was sure of it) both turned to regard it, Dolph saw his chance. He sprinted back into the tunnel and never looked back.
He reached the other side quickly, but he'd forgotten the Whomping Willow: when he emerged, one of its branches nearly missed braining him and hit the ground a few inches behind him, and a second branch cleared the top of his head by less than an inch. He dove to the side and rolled while three more branches swung about him like demented arms. He got to his feet and sprinted out of the willow's range, and one final swing came so close to his back that he could feel his robes blown by the resulting wind.
When he reached relative safety, Dolph considered his situation. He was outside the castle in the middle of the night, and he knew the doors were enchanted so that teachers would know whether students went in or out. He figure his best bet would be to wait until the doors opened for the morning, then sneak in during breakfast. Yes, that's what he would do.
Immediately his thoughts went back to the events at the end of the tunnel. It was obvious Lupin was a werewolf; he'd seen the transformation. But what about Potter and Black? Were there such things as were-dogs and were-stags? He didn't think so. Maybe they were Animagi--no, Potter and Black were obviously very talented wizards but NO under-age wizard was that good. Maybe the animals weren't Potter and Black after all...
Dolph's only other dilemma was what to do with this information. Did he spread it around immediately, or blackmail Lupin? Did the staff know he was a werewolf? Maybe he should go to Dumbledore...he didn't know him that well, but the new headmaster would probably be delighted to get his hands on this information.
His head filled with these thoughts, Dolph crept into the castle's shadow, waiting eagerly for the dawn.
When Sirius and James had it cornered, the wolf's eyes seemed to go elsewhere for a moment. Then it leapt--not at either of them but between them, launching itself at the opening that lead to the Whomping Willow and the Hogwarts grounds. Caught off guard, Sirius only just managed to tackle it before it escaped to someplace where it could do much more damage.
Both of them were puzzled by this strange behavior, and both of them knew quite well that werewolves were more of a danger to humans than to other creatures. Had there been a person in here? The implications of that were terrifying...
When dawn broke, all five of those who had been on the grounds that night got into the castle safely.
James and Sirius told Peter and Remus about the possibility of having been spied on. Not much worried James, but this appeared to affect him quite deeply.
"The wolf in me definitely sensed something," Remus told them. "I'm not sure what, but it sensed something."
"Do you think that means--" Peter started. He seemed the most deeply bothered of all, which was usually the case.
"I don't know what it means," Remus told him. "But it's worrisome, whatever it is. I suppose if anyone knows, we'll find out soon enough." He said this last sentence with a sort of grimace on his face.
"I've been thinking of talking to Carol about it," Remus said with a nod towards the Ravenclaw table. "Do you think that's a good idea?"
"Depends, mate," Sirius told him. "I know you'd trust Carol as a confidant, but that's a hell of a secret to keep."
"Think it's a bad idea," James said. "We should keep this between the four of us."
"Yeah," said Peter. "We don't know who we can trust."
"I'd trust Carol with my life, Peter," Remus said with a silencing look.
"I still don't like it," James told him. "But I guess it's your choice."
"I'll talk with her after breakfast," Remus said. "I suppose I'll have to decide over the course of the conversation."
As the hall emptied, Remus walked over to the Ravenclaw table and found Carol chattering away with Lily. "Hi, Carol, Lily," he said brightly. After checking to see if James was accompanying him, Lily said "Hi, Remus," politely. For all her evident hatred of James Potter, the only thing that Lily really had against Remus was his association with James.
Carol evidently could tell from Remus' expression that he wanted to talk privately, because she told Lily that she'd see her in Transfiguration and ended her conversation with Lily.
"What's the matter?" she said immediately. Was it that obvious he was upset?
Remus debated with himself for a moment over this. Did he really want to tell her? He definitely considered her trustworthy...but Carol pretty much shared everything with Lily, and did he want Lily knowing? Would she keep it from Lily if he asked her to?
"Remus?" she said. "Remus, what's wrong?"
You're going to tell her, he thought to himself. You're going to tell her right now, just swallow your pride and your misgivings and say it. But he couldn't bring himself to say it. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out.
"Remus? Remus??" she said with a hint of panic.
"It's nothing," he heard himself say. Dammit. "Sorry to worry you."
You bloody coward, he told himself. You couldn't tell this girl, who you trust as much as James or Sirius or Peter, because you have too much pride, or you're too afraid, or both...
"Are you sure?" she asked skeptically.
"Yeah, I'm sure," he said. "C'mon, we're going to be late for Charms."
Laying awake in his four-poster that night, Remus cursed himself for not telling Carol while he had the chance. He made a pact with himself that he would have to take her someplace outside the castle, maybe someplace in Hogsmeade, and give her the same talk he gave the other three such a long while ago.
He lay awake for awhile and he heard the soft pitter-patter of rain on the window. Perfect, he thought to himself. More grief. He listened to the quickening rhythm of the rain and let it lull him to sleep.